I don't think I've built anything without calling someone/something a cunt.
Usually a screw that won't turn, the cross threaded cunt.
I don't think I've built anything without calling someone/something a cunt.
Usually a screw that won't turn, the cross threaded cunt.
I'd be up for building a shed whilst getting hammered.Originally Posted by igor_balis
Just been told I've been 'selected' to go to the Munich trade show for us. Lovely stuff, I'll have to pretend to know what I'm talking about for 5 straight days.
Fuck off back to your caravan.
Just got an e-mail form the Director of the IMF who has several million dollars for my organization. Seems weird that he has a gmail account but I've sent him my Western Union details none the less.
Five days on a trade show sounds like vein cutting stuff.
Slip him a TTH card.
Live stream it, Jim.
Wednesday to Sunday as well. I don't have any real knowledge of the product, nor the gift of the gab, but other than that I'm ideally suited to it. I think they just want me there for my 7/10 French, 6/10 Spanish and 4/10 German.
You calling me a traveller? How very odd.
Scaffolder. West Ham fan.
You tick more boxes than I do Bam.
Yeah, but you're from Southend!
Silver lining, it isn't in Stuttgart.
Well, that was a day. The civil service breeds a special kind of jobsworth who cannot and will not bend procedure. Not only that but they'll explain how it's wrong step-by-step. Every time. For longer than they need to.
Spikes knows.You calling me a traveller? How very odd.
My next job is on the 'frailty' ward, affectionately known as 'Windsor Hotel'. It's where all the old buggers sit before the find them somewhere to go to. Also the registrars and stuff I have are great.
Going to be such a doss
You think you're frail? Try having a migraine you twat.
That's a bloody good joke there mate.
Good end to the week, that. One claimant informed us they were running back to the assessment centre with a weapon because their claim was stopped.
In fairness, your lot have fucked up 70% of our tenants over this last month, so you deserve something stabby in the ribs.
'We're going to pay the monthly amount, but we're going to do so 4 weekly. THEN - and here's the genius bit - we'll skip 4 weeks once a year!'
Just pay monthly you fucking pricks.
Our lot? DWP don't pay my wages.
Your lot.
Actually, thinking about it, it (UC) is paid monthly as it arrives the same date every month for the tenants. So why is there a 'skipped cycle' once a year for landlords? Mental.
That is odd. Like they're trying to dodge a month at the end of the tax year.
When I was on the rock and roll I made a point of asking all the staff I encountered what they thought of Universal Credit, and every single one of them said it was an infinitely superior system.
It is as long as you're not on it.
I was, although I don't have kids and rent and made-up disabilities to complicate matters.
They say the same about PIP. That points-based, evidence system where you couple have your fibromyalgia assessed by a mental health nurse. When DWP say something is better, it usually means it's cheaper and they don't have to do as much because they've farmed off chunks of the process to a third party.
Oh UC is genius from the DWP's perspective. It's mostly automated so they only really have to pay people to check ID's and stuff, and even that is done through an App for the most part.
The problems kick in when you work and you're on it. Especially if your wages fluctuate, or if you get anything but monthly pay and you get an extra pay date fall in your assessment window. Which happened to FUCKING EVERYONE over Christmas.
Today it was announced that we've had another person cured of HIV. The second in 10 years. So my day has been derailed arranging interviews for journos, which after writing that sentence, seems a rather negative angle to take on something quite important.
Everyone with HIV have given themselves HIV, right?
I'm a twit
What?
Only two? Quite a few left to go then.
It's not particularly useful as you have to have Leukemia as well but I guess two for the price of one in that sense?
I can cure you but first I have to give you Leukemia!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-47421855
"The researchers say it is too early to say the patient is "cured" of HIV."
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Been a brilliant few weeks at work. We're absolutely overwhelmed with work at the moment and it's meant I've had to get involved for the first time in ages, and I've loved it. In some ways I wish I could go back to just being a designer day in, day out because the work is so enjoyable. Also had a meeting with our biggest client today to present some new work which went over really well, and has probably secured £100k of revenue over the next 12 months.
Plus I offered a job to a previous work experience student this morning, who accepted it on the spot.
I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. Perhaps the office will burn down over the weekend.
It does sound like the first five minutes of a sitcom episode, so you'll end up with the company shutting down within a week.
I did an £18k deal today with some dodgy French exporter that they would never have got near without my language. I'm starting to think that they should probably be paying me quite a bit more.
One thing I've realised over the past two years is that hiring is really difficult. I try to be diligent; I personally interview people and even go to the extent of doing paid trial days/weeks to see how they get on. But the last three people I've hired are all gone. I used to give the former boss so much shit about him hiring people that were crap, and my record has been even worse.
Do we have any recruitment wankers here that can tell me where I'm going wrong?
I've now somehow managed to make exactly the same fuck up at work for the 4th time. It's ridiculous I've not at least had an informal warning for being a total div.
Correctly inputted the sort code and account number for a bill payment but then typed the wrong reference. This time was like the first two times - non-existent reference so just took 20 mins on the phone to the company's customer service team to retrieve the money from some holding account.
The 3rd time was ridiculous though. Not only had I managed to mistype the credit card reference number (e.g. the card number), I'd somehow managed to defeat the Luhn formula and type in some other person's credit card number. Fixing my fuck-up wasted about 10 hours collectively of the time of myself, management and the two customers.
It's nice to see that are banks have such competent workers.
Shit I hope your new tinder chick makes you into a stuffed animal next you sick fuck
No i didn't read any of the rest of this thread for context but still wtf is wrong with you
ha, i wouldn't mind my mate just asking me to help them do something. i was just objecting to someone doing it like Giggles's mate, in a passive-aggressive indirect way. "please help me do this thing" is a lot better than "it would be really nice if you helped me do this thing". but now I'm typing it out i'm starting to doubt whether it really makes much of a difference.
Do you not copy and paste references in for payments?
There won't be a better time to ask the question.
Hiring is pretty much the hardest business problem.
Why are they not working out? What’s your current hiring process?
However you do it, there is going to be a very large amount of luck involved.
The word "process" is generous - there isn't one really. For the last three frond end developers, I've just posted on the usual jobsites/twitter/our own website and then interview. There's no parameters that determine a successful interview - it's largely down to "vibe", with their skillset being secondary (unless they're completely under qualified). If the interview goes well, we ideally get them in for a day to see how they fit in (we pay them for this), set them a few basic tasks and then if all is good, hire them.
Why have the three you hired left?
One guy left after 3 months with no explanation, he just got another role - since then, he's had 4 jobs in 18 months so I think he's just a tosser. One was the guy I sacked, and the third one moved here from Poland and couldn't settle in the area so moved back after 6 months.
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