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View Poll Results: What an amazing April Fools' day prank

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  • But it will all be womens football when the BLOODY WOKES get their hands on it!!1

    1 50.00%
  • April Fools' day pranks are shit, with this excellent exception

    0 0%
  • April Fools' day pranks are shit even when knowingly so, Welby, you berk

    1 50.00%
  • Turtle (but, like, a fooled one)

    0 0%
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Thread: April Women's Football Thread

  1. #351
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    It feels like Liverpool struggle against xG for about 10 games and then smash someone 9-0.

    It's going to be a strange feeling having these last 9 games with nothing to play for.

  2. #352
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    9 games still? Surely aren’t out of top 4 by a long way then.

  3. #353
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, they'd have to win all 9 to get to 71 points which United/Newcastle get to with 5 wins from 9 or whatever. 4th place will probably be around 71 points, but Liverpool aren't going to win 9 in a row.

    Time to focus on getting into the conference league to be the first team to win that.

  4. #354
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Carragher trying his best to big up Van Dijk on Twitter this morning is hilarious.

  5. #355
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Carragher trying his best to big up Van Dijk on Twitter this morning is hilarious.
    Are there any non-Liverpool fans that regard him so highly?

  6. #356
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I mean he clearly was absolutely world class a few seasons ago. I remember saying on here that Liverpool's defending is just too suicidal and no matter how good he is, there's no way one player can fix it. Then he just did.

    But he's a long way from that player now.

  7. #357
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I always find it amusing how prissy footballers are when anyone intrudes into what they think is their exclusive domain - whether it's this linesman trying to shrug Robertson off or whichever team it was [Everton?] who got all shirty about Klopp running onto the pitch. The righteous indignation is always a bit much to take.

  8. #358
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    The John Bostock with a banging free kick on the stroke of HT to put County 1-0 up at Wrexham.

  9. #359
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    The John Bostock with a banging free kick on the stroke of HT to put County 1-0 up at Wrexham.
    friggin legend foster might have had a better chance if the wall jumped

  10. #360
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    This games been mental in the 2nd half. Nothing had happened until the earlier free kick.

  11. #361
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    That defensive line from Notts County is ridiculous. They'll get found out next year.

  12. #362
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    And of course Foster with the penalty save that essentially sends them up.

  13. #363
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    foster couldn't have bloody scripted it.

  14. #364
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    These youtubers really will do anything for content.

  15. #365
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Enough of the TV show spoilers, lads.
    I'm a twit

  16. #366
    I used to be funny.
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    Gateshead won again. We max out at 69 points which erm .... would put us in the playoffs with 3 clubs genuinely shit the bed.

  17. #367
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Guernsey hit the [magical] 40 points today and so are confirmed for another season in the ISTHMIAN SOUTH CENTRAL DIVISION.

  18. #368

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    Do the FA subsidise travel to/from Guernsey? I can’t imagine level 8 budgets allow for that kind of mileage across the sea.

  19. #369
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Guernsey have to do it as part of being in the league, so it obviously costs a fortune [by the standard of the level]. 30 odd return flights and a hotel stay must run to pretty big numbers every other week. They don't play in the FA Cup due to the gate sharing rules [twinned with the cost rules] which is a bit of a shame.

  20. #370
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My mate is a West Didsbury fan (just "West" to the hardcore like him), and they have the Isle of Man in their league. Matey went there for a long weekend when they played, sounds proper shit.

  21. #371
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    friggin legend foster might have had a better chance if the wall jumped
    'Aww mate. The wall's gotta jump there mate, yeah? Has to mate. Mate. That wall was grim mate.'
    *barely played and still cost United the 2009/10 title*

  22. #372
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The amount of new Wrexham ‘fans’ on Twitter is nauseating. Twats.

  23. #373

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    Is Isle of Man any good? I was supposed to go for the TT one year and my cousin offered to fly my dad and my mate and myself across so he could get the flying hours. Got as far as about Barnard Castle before he called a mayday and spun us round. Absolutely shitting it coming back into Teesside Airport to the sight of emergency services bolting down the runway to meet us.

  24. #374
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Is Isle of Man any good? I was supposed to go for the TT one year and my cousin offered to fly my dad and my mate and myself across so he could get the flying hours. Got as far as about Barnard Castle before he called a mayday and spun us round. Absolutely shitting it coming back into Teesside Airport to the sight of emergency services bolting down the runway to meet us.
    My mate said it was fun, but said it was quite backwards. Lots of weird pubs where everything felt frozen in about 2004, but I suppose that's fine if you're just getting battered with other footy anoraks.

  25. #375
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    My mate is a West Didsbury fan (just "West" to the hardcore like him), and they have the Isle of Man in their league. Matey went there for a long weekend when they played, sounds proper shit.
    Proper Krombacher Ultra behaviour.

  26. #376
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    The amount of new Wrexham ‘fans’ on Twitter is nauseating. Twats.
    Three touchdowns today. Guaranteed to win the Welsh conference.

  27. #377
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    United arranging a friendly with them, and roping Sir Alex Ferguson into promoting it, has probably put any serious buyer off.

  28. #378
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    The Wrexham thing is genuinely the most interesting thing happening in English football at the moment.

  29. #379
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It certainly has the pundits excited:


  30. #380
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    My mate is a West Didsbury fan (just "West" to the hardcore like him), and they have the Isle of Man in their league. Matey went there for a long weekend when they played, sounds proper shit.
    We used to play their second team quite a lot in the Manchester League. They've kicked on massively as a club and they have a lovely set up.

    Nothing will ever top us pipping them to the title in 10-11.


    /Nostalgiaover

  31. #381
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Is Isle of Man any good?.
    I went in 2016 as my mum was from there, I hadn't been since before I could remember and attempts to arrange a family jaunt kept failing so I just went over myself for a few nights. That's probably about the right amount of time, there's enough to go about and have a look at but not loads.

    When I went it wasn't TT but there was some other motorbike thing happening so it was busy enough that it wasn't quite but without being as rammed as I imagine it gets during the TT.

    It might have been the distraction of just wanting to see where my mum grew up and go and see (again) all the places my parents had spoken about over the years but it definitely didn't have that awful sense of a place slowly dying like some of the other British seaside places I've been to.

  32. #382
    I used to be funny.
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    I don't think any place can match how dead the Scottish border towns feel like now.

  33. #383
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Being a tax haven probably helps.

  34. #384
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Leeds have to pay 25 million quid to a player they never signed as well as 16 million quid to Leipzig. lol.

  35. #385
    I used to be funny.
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    Sounds like one of Ridsdale's old deals.

  36. #386
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Apparently it works out at 700 thousand pounds per minute of game time which even makes Risdale look like a wheeler dealer.

  37. #387
    I used to be funny.
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    Anthony Gordon's season is finished. He's training with the reserved and out of the first team due to a disciplinary matter.

  38. #388

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    Who would have guessed that signing would not work out?

  39. #389
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Is that just for kicking off when getting subbed against Brentford? I keep forgetting we signed him.

  40. #390
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have never seen him interviewed so couldn't say whether he is a twat, but at minimum he is extremely badly advised.

  41. #391
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    That's a parody account, Shindig, you prat.

  42. #392
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Shindig fell for a spoof account anyway.

  43. #393
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Yeah you always want to look at the @name.

  44. #394
    I used to be funny.
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    I figured something was up when nobody else was reporting it.

  45. #395
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Former red David Thompson also fell for it and has now decided it’s his last ever day on Twitter.
    I'm a twit

  46. #396
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Came from 2-0 down at half-time to being unlucky to beat Watford yesterday so while only a point doesn't help massively, we're through Easter and only three points off the playoffs which in itself is a minor miracle.

    Highlight was Godden's goal, Ben Hamer happy to watch it go out for a goal kick

  47. #397
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    How do you reckon they'd get on if they managed to get promoted Wullie? Would it be a "take the beatings, take the money and regroup for a further attempt" type affair or would they be in a position to have a go of it with the new owner, etc ?

  48. #398
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    I would guess at the former, lovely to have all the money suddenly but not so nice watching Haaland set a single game goalscoring record against us.

    Saying that the new owner's not had a transfer window yet so nobody's sure what to expect, although his early moves have been encouraging things that normal clubs do like concentrating on the training ground, retail side, hopefully getting the stadium situation sorted and most importantly not loudly threatening all the local people and groups you're supposed to be working with.

    If we somehow did scrape our way up we'd need some kind of Forest level run of signings, we have maybe 4-5 players tops that I think would do ok in the Premier League and otherwise a lot of emergency backups or players to let go

  49. #399

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    I think a lot of clubs in the playoff hunt will be in the "take the beatings, take the money" scenario. We might even have the unique result of all three going up will be the three to come down. It's hard to bet against Southampton, Bournemouth and Forest/Leicester being the relegated clubs so those that survived are established in the Premier League and will likely invest (West Ham, Leeds) or improve just through having a decent manager in place (Everton, Wolves).

    - Burnley have pissed the league but have a lot of loans which will need to be accounted for. They historically don't spend big so unless Kompany gets blood out of stone again then it might be a bit of a reality check for them.
    - Sheff Utd have the more stable squad but have a lot of players in that Billy Sharp position of being great in the Championship but out of their depth in the Premier League.
    - Luton are just incredible given what they've achieved with what they have but this lot will get schooled weekly in the top division. Guaranteed playoffs and I wouldn't want to be going there.
    - Middlesbrough similar to Burnley in that we have a lot of loans in key positions (centre forward, goalkeeper, top assister in the league). In recent times we don't tend to splash out like we used to so would have to get incredibly cute in the transfer market to stay up if we get there as the current crop wouldn't cut it.
    - Millwall overachieving like Luton given their budget. You expect them to run out of steam but have done well to stay up there. Would get battered in the top flight without a whole new team, though. They might not even make it as the gap is only 3 points back to Coventry in 9th.
    - Blackburn, shite if I'm honest. Went on that crazy run at the start of the season where they never drew a game and they're fizzling out at the wrong time. Won't get in playoffs.
    - Preston are a weird one. We thumped them about a month ago and they looked absolute fodder but they've won every game since and got themselves level on points with 5th and 6th.
    - Norwich should be in the playoffs given their squad and budget but they've been hot and cold all season even after binning Smith. Away to Boro on Friday night and a loss there will be a big blow. Man for man they've probably got the best "Premier League ready" squad in the playoff hunt but they've just not performed all season.
    - Coventry have a chance too as they're on a good run (apart from that crazy loss to Stoke) but we are starting to get into teams that need third party help due to the teams in their way. Like Boro they've had a resurgence from the bottom after a shocking start and that squad will need a lot of help to kick on further.

    As a Boro fan, playoffs seem nailed on for us and I've got to be confident in our chances given the playoffs are us, Luton (banana skin admittedly) and then two of, likely, Millwall, Blackburn, Preston and Norwich.
    Last edited by Ben; 11-04-2023 at 09:48 AM.

  50. #400
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Didn’t Burnley spend about £70m? Though admittedly they sold a fair amount of players so not really the owners money.

    Apparently they’re willing to pay £30m for Maatsen.

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