Think when I have children I'll read them this:
Think when I have children I'll read them this:
Duke Nukem 3D was the balls.
8 year old me giving strippers money to show us their tits. Great times.
When I have kids all they will know will be Zoombini-induced.
Bloody hell, now that I did play. What a game.
Got a couple of dates at the end of the week .
Girl A: Met her on daft dating website and been chatting to her for a few weeks. Seems nice and interesting, but is a big unit so we'll see how that goes. Whether I'm attracted to her will depend entirely on the chemistry so will have to wait and see.
Girl B: Met her at that fetish club a few weeks ago. Into all that crazy shit and is fiiiine so looking forward to it. Downside is that it's possible, based on what I've gathered from talking to her, the she might some mental health issues of some sort which I can't really be arsed with, especially if I'm gonna be a counsellor it'll be too much if it's at home too. We'll see.
Girl C is also on the horizon - a lass in my office who is lovely and hot and all that. She says she wants to come see me perform my crap poetry so there's definitely potential there for something. At the moment I think I like her most of the three, though girl B obviously has some bonus point for being into all kinds of crazy sex shit.
Few weeks ago I went for a drink with my mate, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's flatmate. I quite liked her, but my mate persuaded me not to text her or facebook message her (I don't have her added) out of the blue as it would be 'weird'. He said I should just wait for when we inevitably ended up at a social event together.
On Saturday I thought fuck it, and messaged her on facebook asking if she fancied a drink. She only replied last night, but asked if I wanted to go out and watch the eclipse with her. It was dead romantic, looking at the moon and shit. Last time I take romantic advice from my mate.
That does sound nice actually.
Did the moon do much? I was up until about 2am and I glanced at it a few times and it wasn't up to much when I saw it. It was near the horizon about 7pm and was absolutely fucking huge but nothing out the ordinary otherwise.
It did eventually. We were there to watch it from about midnight, and some old bloke told us that it won't do much until gone 3. That was alright as it gave us time to go grab a couple of drinks, which helped break up the evening. By 4 it was fully red. Pretty cool actually.
Did you YouTube it, you big nonce?
Yes I did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSn-svY_E4E
Not to sound like a twat or anything Igor, but what's going on for both of you to be able to stay up until 4am on a Sunday night?
Edit: Actually you work weird shifts don't you?
Nah but I work from home, so as long as i'm awake by 9 it's all good.
I think he takes speed. Or some kind of upper anyway.
Edit: Works from home. Dealer then.
Have managed to secure a night out with flirty bird from my old work. There's 8 of us going, 3 couples, me and her. Looks dodge I know. She asked if both of us were coming and I said we couldn't find a babysitter. I've not told the wife about it yet. Could be dangerous territory here lads.
Also she came across a girl's sock that wasn't hers and asked me about it. I acted so suspiciously and thought I was lying. What an embarrassment. I'd have been hopeless in witching times.
Where did the sock actually come from?
"I wasn't wearing it on my cock!"
I've no idea but it's black and frilly. Definitely female. Maybe she's having a lesbian affair.
Are you sure you aren't just repressing your own cross-dressing escapades like that bloke from Filth? You remind me a bit of him actually.
I've not seen it. Cross dressing doesn't really appeal to me. Remember my wife tells me what to wear.
Hammer probably wants that sock back at some point, I wouldn't chuck it.
It's depressing being 30. Had a 19 year old pretty much throw herself at me this weekend and I can only think, 'yeah, so that might be creepy' and steer clear.
Fuck 30. It's shite.
Fuck that. I'd have no problem shagging a nineteen year old.
They'd fuck you off within about two minutes. No end of late teens early 20's girls at my place don't think there's one that I don't want to punch in the face.
Merse you gombine. No-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd smashed fewer 19 year olds'.
Hmmm
Flirty whatsapp messages since then have made me start thinking I was was too drunk and stoned to make responsible decisions for myself and that I should definitely get the slip when she's next here, but she is from Barcelona, so may be 20 by the time that were to happen. In which case - justified.
30/2 = 15
15 + 7 = 22
Hmm. She's legal though, at least? Be reyt.
Edit: @Raoul Duke
Fuck her in the arse.
Fucking hell
@Magic, are you actually intending to cheat on your wife? Have you done so before?
EDIT: I don't mean to sound high-and-mighty by the way, I'm just wondering.
:O
@Mazuuurk no and no.
OK, well thats good but... then what's the problem with going out with your former workmate? That your wife might get fucked off for you doing so? And if so - is it worth it anyway?
Christ you're such a bitch. I bet you're not even allowed to talk to other women you thumbed cunt.
U ok hun?
She's hot, she's a flirt, the wife doesn't trust her or like her, they are mates on Facebook which is shocking for me. The issue is she invited the pair of us but I hate her coming to work stuff because I can't be myself or casually flirt with the hot babes. I told hottie 1 that we couldn't find a babysitter so it's just me, I haven't mentioned it to the wife yet. If she finds out she was invited via FB or some other means then it implies guilt.
A bit of casual flirting doesn't mean shagging for fuck's sake. Do you never flirt? Is everything black and white? Must the first step always lead to the last step? Are you one of those self-righteous wankers that falls out with their mates because they talk to a woman when they are married? I bet you text their wives and are a spy. You disgusting bastard.
Had a 32 year old absolutely rip my dick off. I've never been so in love.
I'm sorry, what?
That sounds more like Hammer's kind of thing, Alb.