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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #4101
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Dont pull out Waff.
    Of course not.

  2. #4102
    leedsrevolution
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    Wrecked more fanny than you've had pints lad.
    You haven't wanked the amounts of pints I've had.

  3. #4103
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    That reads like you've drank many, many pints of spunk mate. Not judging, whatever gets you through the day.

  4. #4104
    leedsrevolution
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    That's exactly how it was meant to read. Have you not tried, my complexion is radiating.

  5. #4105
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    DS/LR exchanges really light my fire.

  6. #4106
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I truly believe older women are better than young ones (of age!). An experienced woman performs better in every area.

  7. #4107
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Did you just get spanked by a Milf and had an epiphany, or what?

  8. #4108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Britain has wind. Florida does not. (Better cover my arse with some sort of hurricane reference. Oops)
    We also have 95% humidity but you don't see these broads out here looking ridiculous

  9. #4109
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazuuurk View Post
    Did you just get spanked by a Milf and had an epiphany, or what?
    I don't know what epiphany means so ill take it as you being offensive. Fuck off.

  10. #4110
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    It means you've realized you actually like to be dominated and maybe hurt a little, like the little bitch you are.


    Take that how you will, of course. I'm not judging, man.

  11. #4111
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Yes.
    Well you had best not tell Trina that Waff is posting pictures of her and her family on a FM message board then, you defiantly shouldn't send her a link to that last page.

  12. #4112
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I defiantly won't.

  13. #4113
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    That's defiantly a good idea.

  14. #4114
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I don’t know the girl he knows and they’re certainly not family.

  15. #4115
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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  16. #4116
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    They probably are. Inbred cunts.

  17. #4117
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    We also have 95% humidity but you don't see these broads out here looking ridiculous
    Looking (and sounding) ridiculous is the only thing your broads have.

  18. #4118
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    jeez mj linking anything on here to someone in real life would be mutually assured destruction

  19. #4119
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Also girl was leaving bank, thought I recognised her. Realised she looked a bit like a girl I matched on tinder. Messaged asking if she was just at my work and she was like "OMG ITS YOU!!".

    Asked if she fancied a drink Friday, said she was out with work colleagues. Said I'd message her when she got back from uni at Xmas or she could message me when out cus I'll be out Friday anyway, she politely said yeah but I assumed thatd be that.

    She just messaged me saying she'll meet me at 10 when she's finished with work people. Agreeing to meet me after drinking (and already knowing what I look like)...surely a shag right??

  20. #4120
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Erm, probably not.

  21. #4121
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    will you shag me

  22. #4122
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Erm, probably not.

  23. #4123
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    She would definitely be up for a game of hide the chorizo, Igor.

  24. #4124
    I used to be funny.
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    My main problem with Igor is he sounds like it's always his first time.

    "I met this lass and then we talked about things so i sed this and then she sed dat and we sed yes so now i'm just waiting to see if she shows up for the thing or not or not."

    Followed by, "she didnt text me in two days so its prbably overr. met another internet lass who says she likes me aywayz,lol."

  25. #4125
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    And he has a large foreskin with a small penis, which probably doesn't help him.

  26. #4126
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Honestly I have the right level of low self esteem that it's hugely exciting whenever a girl shows any interest. Plus no internal monologue.

  27. #4127
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Large foreskin and slightly below average penis*

  28. #4128
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Large foreskin and slightly below average penis*

    Oh yeah,

  29. #4129
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Also girl was leaving bank, thought I recognised her. Realised she looked a bit like a girl I matched on tinder. Messaged asking if she was just at my work and she was like "OMG ITS YOU!!".

    Asked if she fancied a drink Friday, said she was out with work colleagues. Said I'd message her when she got back from uni at Xmas or she could message me when out cus I'll be out Friday anyway, she politely said yeah but I assumed thatd be that.

    She just messaged me saying she'll meet me at 10 when she's finished with work people. Agreeing to meet me after drinking (and already knowing what I look like)...surely a shag right??
    100%.
    I'm a twit

  30. #4130
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Looking (and sounding) ridiculous is the only thing your broads have.
    You all say things like "fanny", I'm not bothered by this critique whatsoever.

    Besides, imagine comparing that broken gypsy girl to one of the finest women Florida has to offer. A dios mio papacito.

  31. #4131
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Britain has pretty much the least attractive women of any nation on Earth, you can't compare it to the beauty Latinas

  32. #4132
    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Yank birds are on mass fat slags.

  33. #4133
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Dunno what that sentence means

  34. #4134
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It means you should have been a wank.

  35. #4135
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    three dates in 6 days, date number one has bailed tonight. if all three flake i'm calling the fucking romanian.

  36. #4136
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm really hoping that happens, you two are perfect for each other.

  37. #4137
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Ended up necking on with the aforementioned Mother and work colleagues after work today. The uproar tomorrow when we were inevitably caught.

  38. #4138
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Well done you had a threesome.

  39. #4139
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Colleagues he says, so at least a foursome. Waff.

  40. #4140
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Going on a date with a 19 year old Italian au pair on Sunday, lolz.

  41. #4141
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Another tinder date then?

  42. #4142
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    And pics.

  43. #4143
    I used to be funny.
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    The date will get cancelled when one of the kids gets shaken.

  44. #4144
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Igor added me on FB and a rogue like gave away that he was stalking through photos so I did the same and I can see how he pulls the Tinder birds now but he was getting up to these hijinks years ago when, no offense Chess-Friend, you looked like the urban dictionary picture for 'fat emo'.

    Now you're looking bae as fuck. Ignore Richard Ashcroft mate, the drugs are working.

  45. #4145
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Phonics


    Anyway, lads. I'm meeting this girl 2ish, we've agreed thus far on "a drink" and dinner, any suggestions on stuff to do?

    I'd be happy to just drink from when we meet until we get dinner, but normal people seem to like, i dunno, doing things. If we were meeting later I'd just suggest drink, dinner, more drinks, but the ~3pm-6pm slot might require more finesse.

  46. #4146
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    This is miles off whatever my areas of expertise are but if she's agreed "A drink" hours before dinner surely she knows more than one drink is happening?

  47. #4147
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    This is true but she's foreign mate fuck knows what's going through her crazy head. Also being 19 and Italian means she's gonna be no fucking use on the pub quiz machine.

  48. #4148
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    This is miles off whatever my areas of expertise are but if she's agreed "A drink" hours before dinner surely she knows more than one drink is happening?
    Dangerously close to applying logic there sir, an easy trap to fall into.

  49. #4149
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Maybe she thinks lunch is called dinner like our northern contingent.

  50. #4150
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    TBH I don't really like ACTIVITY dates, especially on a first date, so I'm hoping the multiple drinks thing has been assumed by my goomah, but I'd just quite like some sorta backup if I sense that ain't the vibe. What the fuck do people even do, though? I'm not going fucking ice skating.

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