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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1801
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Is there literally anything about this promotion/raise that you 'd at us with that is actually good?
    It's quite good fun? I still took 2.7k after tax.

  2. #1802
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Here's an alternate URL - does this work?

    http://dev.thethirdhalf.co.uk/forumd...The-Third-Half
    Nope.

    Content of type Pornography ( Content filtering ) blocked.
    I'm a twit

  3. #1803
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Do you have access to your hosts file?

  4. #1804
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Do you have access to your hosts file?
    No. can’t change anything on C.

    I presume it’s temporary cos the filter doesn’t like a thread title or something.
    I'm a twit

  5. #1805
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    At least it won't cost 6 quid.
    #Brexit mate. Give it time.

  6. #1806
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If I work Saturday and Sunday (as in they ask me to do so, not me taking work home), do they have to give me day(s) off in lieu?

    I don't have my contract to hand but just wondered what normal practice would be. As it stands with a trip abroad I'll be working 12 days on the trot.

  7. #1807
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    If you've not come across it before I'd just ask the question.

    If you ask your manager are they likely to try and get away with shafting you? Whenever I went away in my last place I expected the time back.

  8. #1808
    I used to be funny.
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    With our work, you can work a fortnight straight because it's against the EU directive.

  9. #1809
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    Get it in writing from your boss (and ensure it's clear it's been approved with hr) that you'll take two days in lieu for the time you miss whilst on work business.

    Then take the days. If anyone queries it refer to the email.

  10. #1810
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    We sent out a press release condeming Brunei's anti-gay laws the other day.

    I just got this reply back "Sir I agree with the Brunei Government . Sodomites are not gays they are devils the enemies of the living God. They will all be destroyed in fire together with their sponsors and supporters.

    Now go away and prepare yourself for the lake of fire. You devil."

    Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?

  11. #1811
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Well I suppose it means they don't have to seek out ways to be angry on the internet. Just get it right in their inbox, as it were.

  12. #1812
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?
    Maybe one gave him it.
    I'm a twit

  13. #1813
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    So at one point he loved them?

  14. #1814
    I used to be funny.
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    It might have been rape.

  15. #1815
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    We sent out a press release condeming Brunei's anti-gay laws the other day.

    I just got this reply back "Sir I agree with the Brunei Government . Sodomites are not gays they are devils the enemies of the living God. They will all be destroyed in fire together with their sponsors and supporters.

    Now go away and prepare yourself for the lake of fire. You devil."

    Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?
    I'd wager that atleast 50% of homophobes are self hating, religious, closet cases.

  16. #1816
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Got sent a logo for a report today and assumed it must be a joke but nope, apparently no-one in the design process pointed out it looks like a knob.


  17. #1817
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Outstanding.

  18. #1818
    I used to be funny.
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    Or everyone in the process knew exactly what they were doing. Like how the A-Style logo looks like people fucking.

  19. #1819
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Ran out of shirts this morning so had to put one on that doesn't fit. I'm wearing a jumper on top of it with just the very bottom button and the very top done up.

  20. #1820
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Received an e-mail inviting me to a "social media training course" from these guys who have managed to amass 28 followers in six years.
    I'm a twit

  21. #1821
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    They have 28 followers from just 45 tweets, whereas you're only gaining a follower about every 3-and-a-half tweets.

    They could teach you a lot about efficiency.

  22. #1822
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Had an email at work re: internet usage.

    I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.
    I'm a twit

  23. #1823
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Had an email at work re: internet usage.

    I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.
    What do you mean for the tournament thing? It's over isn't it, or were you planning on it annually?

  24. #1824
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Working in sales for a service company when the service side is full of morons is really shit and difficult.

  25. #1825
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Had an email at work re: internet usage.

    I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.
    I hate shit like that. If you're not getting your work done, sure. But if you are?

  26. #1826
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I am at a trade fair in Munich, which involves doing endlessly long days and then simultaneous translation client dinners until midnight. I was supposed to be here Wed-Sun, arriving home Sunday lunchtime - a bit knackering but at least I had Sunday pm to rest before going back to work Monday.

    I got up at 3am yesterday to get the early flight, and arrived at our stand at 11am. I hadn't even put my suitcase under the table when my boss said 'By the way, I now need you to stay until Monday evening because we need someone to help clear up.' I had absolutely no way of telling him to do one, a) because he's my boss and b) because El Presidente was also in earshot.

    As such, I now get back Monday around 11pm and will be straight back in the office Tuesday, and by Thursday will have worked 11 days in a row (6 of them in this German hell hole).

    My current plan is to go in on Tuesday and as politely as possible tell the boss that they are an exploitative bunch of amateurs. For context, I'm on under 30k.

  27. #1827
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    I hate shit like that. If you're not getting your work done, sure. But if you are?
    Indeed.

    Thankfully I use the internet a lot for work stuff so I had a valid excuse. My boss knew this so just replied to the audit saying it’s not an issue, close the case, and advised me to close my internet browsers when I’m not explicitly looking at them, which suits me.

    And yeah @Giggles I figured it could be something every two years or something, I dunno.
    I'm a twit

  28. #1828
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    Jimmy, your salary being under 30k is exactly why they're okay with treating you like that.

  29. #1829
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    That feeling when Korea turns out to be the good guy.

  30. #1830
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'd be demanding a pretty heft pay rise considering what you're doing for them.

  31. #1831
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    We've hired a new comms person from London that has come fully equipped with all the terms I hate as part of her vocabulary.

    I've got a meeting with her tomorrow about something that she has put in my calendar as 'A quick download of 'subject''

  32. #1832
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Comms.

  33. #1833
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Apparently it means communications, which is somehow different to marketing.
    I'm a twit

  34. #1834
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Apparently it means communications, which is somehow different to marketing.
    It's marketing and PR.

  35. #1835
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Comms.

  36. #1836
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    We've hired a new comms person from London that has come fully equipped with all the terms I hate as part of her vocabulary.

    I've got a meeting with her tomorrow about something that she has put in my calendar as 'A quick download of 'subject''
    what

  37. #1837
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    She wants to touch base.

  38. #1838
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    For some blue sky thinking.

  39. #1839
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    A couple of new guys started in my place recently. One is a proper autistic, he's surely got an official diagnosis. The other sits beside me and he's fidgety as fuck. Constantly moving shit about on his desk, clicking his pen, drumming on the desk etc. He talks to himself quite a bit too. I hear him mumbling all the time. He only started on Monday and he's doing my fucking head in already.

  40. #1840
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Where I work has the main floor and our little office, which the rest of them come in and out of our little office depending on what they're doing. We've had a woman in there all week doing some spreadsheet stuff, and she just sits tutting and sighing waiting for someone to ask her why, which between us we've agreed not to, and it gets louder and more dramatic until she finally gives in.

  41. #1841
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Where I work has the main floor and our little office, which the rest of them come in and out of our little office depending on what they're doing. We've had a woman in there all week doing some spreadsheet stuff, and she just sits tutting and sighing waiting for someone to ask her why, which between us we've agreed not to, and it gets louder and more dramatic until she finally gives in.
    Women love that. I've got one who, when asked why she was yawning so loud, said "well, I'm allowed to make myself known."

  42. #1842
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I don't think he's looking for anyone to engage with him. I just stick my headphones on now so I don't hear him. I can still see him fidgeting out of the corner of my eye though.

  43. #1843
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I think he might have tourettes or OCD or something.

  44. #1844
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    For some blue sky thinking.
    If someone at work ever uses a phrase like that I always ask what it means, just to see how they explain it. I’ve no idea why I do it, keeps me entertained though.

  45. #1845
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    My old loved all that so we used to make up ridiculous new ones to mock him. Problem was there'd be a third or quarter of them he genuinely liked and would try to remember to use.

  46. #1846
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm about to go to my third customer dinner in a row (at which I am basically a free translation service), three more 12 hour days to go after this (all standing up throughout) before three more days at the office. Send help.

  47. #1847
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    What's the market like? I'd be inclined to skip the last day, get the flight home, and see how long they take to realise you're gone.

  48. #1848
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Just steal all their customers and hire some Koreans.

  49. #1849
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I had a great time at the first (and probably last) trade fair I went to. Tiny independent company that sold subscriptions to their constantly updating database of job leads etc for companies working in the museum industry. Boss lady, 60-something American lady who set it up on her own, well respected and liked in the industry, the original sales guy, 50-something bloke who'd been doing it five years, and ME, incomprehensibly hired with zero experience and aptitude. The three of us were there for a 2 day conference in Brum.

    I spent a day just dicking around, chatting to blokes at stands, making token efforts at selling shit etc. Boss lady went for lunch at 12 and told me we'd cruise the stalls as a duo when she got back at 1ish. She came back at 3.30 absolutely wrecked, told me the kitchen in the restaurant they'd gone to had CAUGHT ON FIRE, they'd been given complimentary drinks in the bar until they, er, put the fire out. That was the story I got anyway. We went to like 2 stalls, then she loudly said how much "that guy is such a fucking creep". About 10 people obviously heard, including said creep, then she said "fuck this conference, Igor, we ain't gonna sell shit" or something like that, and she called it a day. Got to stay in the swanky hotel she'd booked for the night, stayed up watching an Aus vs NZ test until about 3 am, and went home at 9am. She paid me for both days as well. I miss that job.

  50. #1850
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Did you lick her anus?

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