I made a Christmas playlist and my mum hasn’t complained yet so I’ve done well.
I made a Christmas playlist and my mum hasn’t complained yet so I’ve done well.
The mother wanted to watch your queen at 3pm there so I’m out for a walk but I’ve eaten far too much for walking.
My dad has been dropping terms like 'woolly woofter' and 'shirtlifter' all day referring to people who don't like strong sauces or tabasco in their drink, quite tempted to come out and ruin both this and all future Christmases
But I'm too drunk, it's not safe
Sounds like it’s never going to be a good time anyway.
Out by Christmas. Get disinheritance done.
Webcam girl
She's been living in her webcam world
I bet she'd never scam a grieving guy
You need to hold my driving licence why?
I like it better when they're based on Welby
A couple of years ago an uncle insisted I keep playing Jack Jersey songs, that was painful.
I've put Stormzy on as revenge and it has not been well received.
Jimmy's house is racist, 100%
My family are all old labour sorts yet still had this exchange
Uncle 1 "my dentist was a terrorist..took out the wrong tooth, back in Pakistan now "
Uncle 2 "well at least hed have gone AAAH ALLAH AKBAR!!"
Uncle 2 gets bonus points for not only being offensive and unfunny but also making absolutely no sense.
No wonder those fucking fred Bassett strips are so popular.
Isn't that a Frank Skinner song?
"My friend Ali was a dentist, now he's a Muslim fundamentalist..." etc.
My parents just say coloured instead of black. Seriously, I've never heard them refer to blacks ever. I've told them it's fine to say that in context but they won't go near it.
My house isn't racist, at least in the sense that if a black piano tuner came round, they wouldn't chin him and sell his dog. However like everyone over 60 they are a bit set in their ways.
My mother has a friend whose brother is a gay, and him and his partner maintain an elaborate pretence for the sake of his parents that they're just a pair of mates in their forties who live together, to the point of keeping a dummy bedroom in their house and everything. You might have to move somewhere cheaper for that though.
Cousin wouldn't stop talking about how proud he is that our Grandad was a communist.
I've never been so excited over a fucking Amazon fire stick that I got for Christmas.
Granted it's for when I move out and no doubt I'll probably find nothing on to watch
An unmerciful shite would improve the rest of the evening exponentially.
Any recommendations for conspiracy theory docs?
Not sure if it counts, but I quite like Adam Curtis' stuff.
Anyway, five dogs was far too much today, especially three terriers. The two collies, predictably, were great. Why doesn't everybody get collies?
Haven't drank at all today nor have I eaten so much that I've been sick, so I'm inclined to say that this year was a failure.
Not so, although he has a few yarns about the miners' strike which would warm the cockles. One in particular about the time he had to help in shutting down an entire town for a week to make it safe for one bloke to cross the picket line.
'Your dad probably is a racist actually.'
I’ve spent about £350 on Tommy Hil and Dunelm Mill today.
So boxing day. I'm planning on eating chocolate, drinking beer, watching Star Wars and enjoying the football!
Since I stopped going out on Stephens’ Day I have fuck all to do really. They really need to get some GAA on for the day here. I’m reduced to watching Oklahoma at the moment
I've had a big omelette made of leftover Christmas ham, eaten some chocolate and a small cheesecake. Will probably have my first beer of the day soon to try and numb myself a little ahead of the United game. Might try and get around to watching that Klaus film on Netflix before it becomes unseasonal.
Round 2 of dinner complete and I’m done for the day.
For the first time I'm enjoying watching shit Christmas films and doing nothing. There's so much food still so I'll just slowly go through that whilst watching stuff like Kevin Costner gan radge in the Wild West.
Actually went for a run today after yesterday's feast. Carrying on the mammoth 1500 piece puzzle in a minute plus watching United depress.
I haven’t my watch on but I’ve definitely done 40 steps maximum over the past 3 days. I just keep falling asleep where I’m sitting eating
Klaus on Netflix wasn't that good, but I was probably expecting a bit much from a children's film. Got bored of eating so now I'm having a beer. Boxing Day is always a good night out so I'm kinda tempted to sack off the shit films for some classic Jersey karaoke ('GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEM SO GOOD').
Been having a proper Catholic one with my girlfriend's family. Went to church yesterday then came home and she, her brother and I exchanged Celtic tops (third, home, away). Today her entire extended family is over and there are definitely at least fifty people in the house. I'm currently hiding in the spare room.
The Running Man is on 114 lads.
Rillette, olives, and cheese tonight.
I watched Cool Runnings earlier for the first time in a long time. It struck me that you couldn't make that film now, and that that fact in itself means we have lost our way.
I haven't seen it for years but remember it being nothing more than fun. What wouldn't fly now?
I don't remember it very well, but I am guessing that it depicts black people being surprised / acting as dummies in 'white spaces' or something like that.
Lots of reasons but the main ones are the very broadly defined characters; unrealistic/non-gritty depictions of various concepts and locations; and the fact that whilst race is obviously a semi-important underlying part of the story, it is applied with a very light touch and only actually mentioned once in the dialogue. And of course John Candy's character as the white mentor figure teaching the hut-dwelling savages to dance would be a massive no-no.
In fact, the mainsteam studio comedy film seems to have died a proper death in the last five to ten years, probably either slow-sliced out of existence by the Hangover films or crushed by the pressures of wokeness.
The 80s high concept movie is also dead and I don't really know why. It's a shame whatever the reason.
Studio comedy films are alive, they're just all being made by Judd Apatow so it's the same jokes in a different building without a single character who resembles a real person even for a moment.
The real eighties casualty is the one man army film. Commando is the best of them, but they used to be plentiful. Outside of the 'Equaliser' films I don't think I've seen a good English language one since Man on Fire, which has to be at least fifteen years old.