Whoever drew me out in the Kris Kindle got me hops and some hop bags too, which was excellent.
Whoever drew me out in the Kris Kindle got me hops and some hop bags too, which was excellent.
I got a pair of gloves from Sainsburys for Secret Santa. I mean, ffs, fair enough if you're not going to put much effort in (like me) but at least get something edible.
Well sure gloves aren't edible with that attitude.
You've no right to moan about that when you were giving someone mouldy chocolates that you didn't buy in the first place.Originally Posted by mo
He was going to give them mouldy chocolates until he read the best before.
I was looking for gloves in Sainsbury's the other day and they had fuck all. Life is not fair.
I was at a curry house today and a guy went up to the boss after he finished to ask him if they were open for Christmas day. The boss said no so they guy asked how much it would cost to pay 1 waiter and 1 chef for an hour or two so he could give his a wife a special dinner treat on the 25th to which the boss said he'd ask the guys on Monday.
I hope that doesn't happen.
I hope someone agrees but asks the guy for a weeks worth of wages for an hour.
He was in the bookies next door after so it's more than likely cancelled.
I assume he told his wife they'd go for a nice meal on Christmas Day but forgot to book anywhere and now everything is full so he's fucked.
Last edited by Sir Andy Mahowry; 20-12-2019 at 09:06 PM.
I recall way back when I first started working I worked in a car accessory shop and sure enough we were open Christmas Day. Customer comes in "I didn't think you'd be open today", I was probably a lot politer than I recall but I'm sure it was something along the lines of "We wouldn't be if it weren't for cunts like you."
There was a story about Marco Pierre White who had a guest ask him for something that wasn't on his menu and instead of reacting as you would have expected, he did what the guests requested. By time the bill came he was charged big money for something and MPW's reasoning was he paid for his skills, his time and for being a cunt.
He should follow suit.
Everyone agreed that the secret santa gift I bought was the best one anyone's ever seen. Probably the proudest I've ever been at work.
I gave my secret santa some decaf teabags(what she drinks, work never has them), some detol wipes (she loves cleaning) and some pre mixed vodka drinks. I got chocolates and 4 bottles of beer from mine. I also got a load of stuff from the kids in work along with a case of beer and a bottle of Gin from staff. Went the pub after work for tea and beer, decent enough last day really!
Custom made Cards Against Humanity set?
that would still be better bantz than what i've received from different people 3 consecutive fucking years, festive beard decorations.
in fairness i didn't think mine was much cop. drew the laddish 30-something woman. she's sound but the only things I know she likes are expensive holidays, shoes that cost more than £500, and having very public facebook arguments with the family of her boyfriend's ex girlfriend. however the morning after the CONTROVERSY about nicole scherzinger wearing that super risque outfit on ITV or whatever, she spent about an hour banging on about how fit she thinks she is, and how she'd turn lesbian for her etc etc, so I just got her a fucking massive framed photo of her. like i said, not that great, but well received.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Better bantz than that? They've destroyed you three years running mate. Throw in some bacon-scented shampoo and you would have chucked yourself under the nearest bus.
I was the only person who didn't do 'Secret Santa' at our place, and I made it clear in the e-mail that I don't earn enough to waste money on jokey shite, which almost ended up de-railing the full scheme - and probably Christmas itself - until somebody called me a misery and set the world back on its prior course.
Our secret Santa was set to a fiver.
I'm a twit
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4h...Tb-q_x9XqKItrg
The ultimate Christmas playlist for anybody struggling to get in the mood.
jumpoutwindow.gif
Christmas can indeed fuck off. I find the whole season to be so fake and I don't think that will ever change.
Merry Christmas.
Christmas #1 2020 that. Let's face it, if a guy singing about sausage rolls can claim it, this kid has a chance.
Looks like the 'apparently kid'.
Dont do secret santa in my team at work, our boss just surprised us with a £20 voucher for dining out and a bottle of wine each.
I fucking hate getting vouchers as I won’t use them. Sold my one last year for 20% off.
My mother has been giving it the big'un for ages about wanting a 'relaxing Christmas', which is code for not going to my brother's house, and now she's invited her near-demented old man and his actually-demented (and bonus: incontinent) wife round for the dinner. I've got a day to convince her to just sit them down, rattle some plates around, and then ask them if they enjoyed it.
My mum got a shoutout from Simon Mayo on the radio so I don’t have to do Christmas presents as she’s buzzing off that.
Just made bread sauce and for the first time a gravy for tomorrow.
It'll be cold by then, dickhead.
Dinner ruined.
I can't do anything right
Doing a Wasgij over Christmas
Is that some sort of meditation ritual?
Went to watch Frozen 2 today. Cinema was packed and the girl next to me proper mugged me off in taxing the arm rest early doors. Front row too so the view was dreadful.
Then visited the in-laws which was as bad as ever but at least I don’t have to see them tomorrow. Then went my mates for a bit and the kids played while I watched Toy Story 3 and then swiftly left as I noticed Frozen coming on.
Home now and can start eating my weight in cheese and Tangfastics.
I'm a twit
I shouldn’t have went on the porter at half 11.
The train scene in The Wrong Trousers is one of the best scenes in anything ever.
I still love that, after all the years, there’s still a fully serious looking segment on our evening news about Santa having left the north pole and beginning his journey. Plus the weather giving ‘landing conditions’.
I want that charade to go deeper, really. I want ATC audio of him being given clearance to land.
They went a bit further this year with a report from an “Engineer in UCD” `(a lad in a home office looking at homemade excel charts) about online analytics being used by the big man to determine what children want for Christmas and another from a locksmith and chimney cleaner about how he gets in.
But it’s happened longer than I’m alive so I think it’s a great job.
Last edited by Giggles; 24-12-2019 at 06:45 PM.
Just been for a pint or two in the pub, went the shop on the way home for doughnuts and am set for an evening that includes showing my gf The Muppet Christmas Carol for the first time!
I take it you met her through work.
That's great. They don't do anything like that over here.
I remember getting all excited watching it as a kid knowing he’d headed off. There’ll be a shorter one on the 9 o’clock news that basically tells all the children that they need to get to bed soon. I love how the newsreaders still keep a straight face and just present it as normal.
nope
I eagerly await a progressive alliance government that outlaws the wrapping of presents on the basis of the climate emergency.
The WOKE on Twitter are using old newspaper already.
Stepped in a massive puddle right by the car \0/.
I do have a hefty whack of brie (with loads of crackers) and a massive wedge of one of those giant pork pies though.
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