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Thread: The Ultimate WWE Thread

  1. #10101
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He'll tell foreigners they're scum. Not on home turf.

  2. #10102
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    Name: Benny Omega or Benny Omegawolf or just Omegawolf

    Species: - Wolfman

    Function: High agility, high intensity performer

    Look: kinda like this:

    Toggle Spoiler


    except he has an actual wolf head

    Gimmick - "aw jeeze I really appreciate everyone's wonderful compliments I just kinda come out here and try to do the best job I can to put on a great show for you guys and we really appreciate you guys coming ok!" in a type of humble but kinda knows how great he is kind of way

    Role - Charismatic as all fuck whilst being good enough in the ring to earn the respect of his peers, well liked by nearly everyone, functions as either one of the leaders of the whole group or the leader of his "wolfpack" if you wanted to give him like a stable/faction

    Finishing/Character Move - Cry of the Wolf - it's just the one winged angel but he howls when he drops you on your head

    Work +2
    Look +6
    Power -1
    Real -4

  3. #10103
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I'll take a second to remind that this is a magical world where Postman Pat delivers people to a literal ethereal plain.

    @bruhnaldo I'll take the first one but I don't need leaders/five star guys, those are written into my story, I need dumb gimmick wrestlers. Less Hunter Hearst Helmsley, more Hurricane Helms.

  4. #10104
    I used to be funny.
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    Postman Pat Patterson.

  5. #10105
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    Name: M'adam Page

    Species: - Human

    Function: - feigns class but is basically a high functioning alcoholic

    Look: kinda like this:

    Toggle Spoiler


    Except it's a white chick

    Gimmick - it's basically Lacey Evans southern belle bullshit except in this instance the southern belle is a drunk who was rejected from high society but still imagines she's apart of it.

    Ironically her mystic powers seem to increase the more she drinks so you eventually would get the sense she was shunned from high society because her powers scared her peers rather than her actually being an extra sloppy drunk... and perhaps also realize she drinks so much because it makes her more powerful and she's addicted to the power and not the alcohol. basically very tragic but no one cares cause she acts stuck up to everyone. while drinking makes her more powerful they also make her very wanton in her actions, regularly making mistakes or experiencing unintended consequences with her power

    Role - heel

    Finishing/Character Move - "Stuck Up", she gets drunk enough that her powers allow her to suspend objects in the air for infinity so she basically sends you into the atmosphere where you eventually run out of air and suffocate and then once you're out of the atmosphere your lifeless body explodes and is "stuck up" in space forever.

    Work +2
    Look -1
    Power +2
    Real 0

  6. #10106
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You just walked into 'Definitely Not Vinces' office and get this look



    "We've already got the drunk rabbit. Get out!" and he throws a Bobblehead version of Bulk Bogan at your head.

  7. #10107
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    Name: Kappa Donna

    Species: - Human

    Function: - fights strictly in capoeira break dance style like Eddy Gordo but literally only wears full Kappa tracksuits to any and all functions, all kinda different colors

    Look: kinda like this:

    Toggle Spoiler


    but she's Brazilian

    Gimmick - so basically even when just walking around normally she's always in like breakdance form and when she gets going and let's say... does a bunch of breakdance combos back to back ... it's basically like a combo meter and the more moves she strings together the more powerful she becomes

    Role - heel

    Finishing/Character Move - "Samba Bonito" - she starts hitting a bunch of what her opponent sees as unbelievable break dance moves together really fast mesmerizing/dazing the opponent before she unleashes a barrage of attacks that end with her literally kicking the skull off her enemy's body and then hitting a fuckin volley into the upper 90 of whatever resembles a "goal" at the time with it

    Work +2
    Look +5
    Power -2
    Real -2

  8. #10108
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    You just walked into 'Definitely Not Vinces' office and get this look



    "We've already got the drunk rabbit. Get out!" and he throws a Bobblehead version of Bulk Bogan at your head.
    .....

  9. #10109
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    "I got this guy that looks like Steve Blackman but kinda drinks a lot because he's sad but it doesn't effect his work and also he basically just beats the shit outta people with his bare hands and feet"

    "okay how about we scrap all the shit you wrote and just call him Drugs Rabbit and instead of all that other shit about martial arts now he also has a gun"

    ...............

    --- "LETS NOT FORGET THIS IS A WORLD OF MAGIC!" ---

    "Okay well how about I got this chick whose DNA mutates with alcohol giving her super powers that was born into high society but then shunned because of her excessive drinking and also wears a really elaborate dress ensemble that's actually kinda fuckin sweet"

    "Yea but have I mentioned Drugs Rabbit, you stupid asshole?"

    ................ man FUCK this guy lmao

  10. #10110
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Sounds like I’ve absolutely fucking nailed the Not Vince McMahon character with that post.

  11. #10111
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    lmao you're doing gre- err i mean ya that's good shit !

  12. #10112
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    Can Vince Russo start booking this thread.... it would make more sense.

  13. #10113
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    But bruh would have to have a miscarriage.

  14. #10114
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Can I just say this has got absolutely weird as fuck and I'm uncomfortable. I'm also confirming Phonics as a Furry.

  15. #10115
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Back into slightly more normal things.

    Big E's master strategy for a Royal Rumble is incredible.

  16. #10116
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Heavy rumours that it will be Goldberg v Fiend at Blood Money

  17. #10117
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I realise this is a stupid question to ask, but here goes: What fucking sense does that make either way?

  18. #10118
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    They get a lot of money to do it.

  19. #10119
    I used to be funny.
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    And it's a PPV of no consequence.

  20. #10120
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    They'll get a lot of money to do whatever they do and the bored gentlemen in the front row still won't look away from their phones.

  21. #10121
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    They've paid for Goldberg so someone had to wrestle him.

  22. #10122
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I mean if it's a one-and-done Fiend smashes Goldberg then it does make sense. But it's the only scenario that makes sense and one I find it hard to imagine them going for.

  23. #10123
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I don't think they give a shit, you've just given it more thought than they will have.

  24. #10124
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Almost certainly.

    In other news, WWE have signed Timothy Thatcher (who I think I might have seen on a PWG show?) and Killer Kross off've Impact.

    How much should I care (before they ruin them)?

  25. #10125
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Goldberg will be against Corbin and annihlate him in 45 seconds.

  26. #10126
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It would fit Corbin's bizarre WWE career path, so long as it's immediately followed by him beating Boatman for the IC title inside 4 minutes at Mania.

  27. #10127
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Finishing move: "The Destruction" A chokeslam into a piledriver, however that fucking worked.
    Just spotted this realising I'd missed the suggestions for Phonics and you used to get a lot of this sort of thing in e-feds and what not.

    "Okay so this move is a shooting star press that ends as a gorilla press slam."

    Or just adding 'reverse' to any move description and to hell with the logic. Good times.

  28. #10128
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I fucking loved e-feds. They're also almost entirely responsible for my current career choice. At 14 I had a "business" designing websites for e-feds.

  29. #10129
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Add me to the e-fed fanlist.

    Me and @Mike "ran" one. ACWF
    I'm a twit

  30. #10130
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    what is an e-fed? exactly what it sounds like?

  31. #10131
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Almost certainly.

    In other news, WWE have signed Timothy Thatcher (who I think I might have seen on a PWG show?) and Killer Kross off've Impact.

    How much should I care (before they ruin them)?
    Timothy Thatcher was part of Ringkampf (the original version of what they're doing with Imperium) in WXW with Walter, Barthel, and Wolfe(?)

    Wrestling these days seems to communicate mostly in Simpsons memes, in which case:

    Last edited by Disco; 05-02-2020 at 06:13 PM.

  32. #10132
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    But I like Aichner

  33. #10133
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    That's nothing, there are some who refer to Walter as WWEalter to differentiate between his work in NXT and WXW.

  34. #10134
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    I'm finding a new hobby in scouring youtube for anecdotes by former wrestlers.

  35. #10135
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    what is an e-fed? exactly what it sounds like?
    https://ewrestling.fandom.com/wiki/E-federation

    The variations.

  36. #10136
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I hope you're interested in Simon Gotch's opinion of Enzo Amore.

  37. #10137
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    Blampied has officially joined WrestleTalk

  38. #10138
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Because I watched his video when he was just a guest (i.e. they were just checking the internet didn't unload on them) Youtube then suggested this fucking bizarre video:


  39. #10139
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    Yea, I'm fairly sure I saw that a couple of days ago. Seemed a bit pointless.

    He's confirmed he's going to be doing monthly booking videos, as well as a groundbreaking new project.... weekly top 10 lists.

  40. #10140
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Bang up for more booking videos.

  41. #10141
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Velveteen Dream is back.

    Also Truth is saying Bork has been pitching ideas for the two of them to do more stuff together after their pre-Rumble segment.

  42. #10142
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I didn’t think Brock understood the concept of humour but him saying ‘oooh big boy’ when Keith Lee came out was top 10 stuff.

  43. #10143
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  44. #10144
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Velveteen Dream is back.

    Also Truth is saying Bork has been pitching ideas for the two of them to do more stuff together after their pre-Rumble segment.
    He was genuinely laughing when they had that segment before Rumble.

  45. #10145
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I think it's more likely that the motivator is he's aware that Vince finds Truth's idiot shtick hilarious and that he might be able to wring some more lucrative appearances out of it.

  46. #10146
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    Lesnar also did the Van Damme American dancing when MVP was on the way which was great.

  47. #10147
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Sounds like the Network is on the way out or set to see big changes, then, with lots of rumours about WWE selling PPV rights elsewhere.

  48. #10148
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    https://www.wwe.com/superstars/murphy

    Buddy Murphy has seemingly had the 'Buddy' dropped

    Fuck you Vince.

  49. #10149
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What is his fucking obsession with mononyms?

    Also: Fiend / Goldberg confirmed. Thank God I won't be watching that show.

  50. #10150
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Dragon Lee v Hirom and Moxley v Suzuki were both absolutey mental!

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