The All New Jobs Thread

[Baz]

Because she's contractually obliged, or through her own free will?

All the questions, Manc’s gonna have a seizure.

Her own free will. I regularly check for ‘events’ and conferences relating to my job in surrounding areas so I can have a bit of skive day, or go and socialise with people I frequently see at these types of events, usually people who do my job in different parts of the north west. It’s a bit of a running joke at work now that I have lots of ‘out of office’ days. She’s cottoned on and is very eager, because she enjoys socialising, and really doesn’t like working from home. We’ve got one next Thursday, 10-3, but put it in our diaries 9:30-4:30 and she’s currently sending lists of bars we should go, after eating at the restaurant she’s booked at 2:30. I’ll be driving, fwiw.

[Lewis]

Nothing quite like a work beano to fiddle the old flexi sheet. Yes, I was working for seven hours, and the train was delayed, and... A day out in London? Not at all.

[Baz]

It is good isn’t it. Because of a previous role I have direct access to the train ticket booking system so I can always rely on an ‘open return’ rather than having to book a set train home, like I used to do for people I didn’t like.

It’s funny how many people I only see at ‘events’ and don’t even necessarily have any meetings with them outside of our annual boring drugs thingy and then pre-train pints.

[Lofty]

Baz getting done on a double whammy of misusing council funds and sexual harassment is not what I expected for 2024.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The useless woman has been here for three months now. She asked this morning on the Teams chat how to do an incredibly basic thing. I sent her a simple three-step procedure for doing it, with about 10 words in each step, none of them long. She still doesn't understand it and has burst into tears. What am I supposed to do? I have sympathy for her trying hard, but when you're this terminally stupid there's just no hope.

[Gray Fox]

"I'll pass you over to Person X, they know much more about this stuff than I do."

[Spikey M]

Crying at work used to be seen as unprofessional and we should prioritise getting back to that standard.

[Yevrah]

Crying at work used to be seen as unprofessional and we should prioritise getting back to that standard.

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

[Dark Soldier]

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

Yes, yes it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Arab has just done some pretty indefensible workplace stuff, i.e. screaming at people in anger at the top of his lungs, then storming out in a huge tantrum to 'go and buy cigarettes' at a time when he's supposed to be here doing his job with us. Really torn on whether I should go and tell him to wind his neck in myself, or raise it to superiors. Former option is polite but improper, latter is proper but impolite.

It was the sort of scene where as soon as he left the room, everyone looks at each other and says 'what a twat'.

[niko_cee]

Probably gone to get his glock.

[Boydy]

Why was he screaming in anger?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because some deal didn't go his way and he wanted to take it out on those in the office who he (wrongly) blamed. Iranian missiles hitting Iraq are seriously damaging his business I think.

He's since returned, been given a verbal warning, and is now trying to draw me into some cloak and dagger plot to undermine another colleague. I just shrugged and said you do you mate. You must need so much energy to live your life like he does.

[Spikey M]

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

They can keep their SimpyHealth memberships and monthly #CalmCoffeeConversations, just don't start blubbing at me. I am not equipped to deal with it.

[Baz]

They can keep their SimpyHealth memberships and monthly #CalmCoffeeConversations, just don't start blubbing at me. I am not equipped to deal with it.

Sounds like you need some MHFA training.

[Gray Fox]

You'll be learning A.L.G.E.E in no time.

[Ben]

That’s got to be the worst acronym ever.

[Gray Fox]

Even worse is that both of the Es stand for Encourage.

[Baz]

When we did it someone asked why’s it’s not EAGLE and it just got ignored

[Shindig]

Can't encourage them first, man. What if they're on a bridge?

[Baz]

Oh, I honestly retained zero of it

£8 a month though

[niko_cee]

Can't encourage them first, man. What if they're on a bridge?

Encourage, Assist, Get on with it, Lament, End

[mo]

This sounds quite sad.

I have noticed in my daughter's secondary school, which, to my untrained eye looks like it's run by quite an aggressive/forward thinking/surveillance state Trust, that a lot of the teachers are young, which they seem to specifically aim target [my assumption]. Is that just a fresh meat for the grinder type thing? Of does it differ wildly depending on where you are, in terms of being awful or not being awful?

It's incredibly sad. End of lat week/start of this were awful; I have since bounced back a bit. Still going to be keeping my eyes peeled for opportunities outside the profession.

The teachers are young because most of the old ones have been forced out/priced out. I'm sure there are good trusts out there but you only ever really hear the horror stories.

My missus is at a RC this year and 60% of her class are foreigners. Said it’s the best and easiest class she’s had (only 3.5 years mind ) as they’re all brought up to respect teachers - so she says anyway. The few Sri Lankan’s properly worship her. Bring in gifts at the end of every term or whenever she’s been ill lol

Don't get many non-white/non-English kids at my place, but any Asian students we've had have been a dream. They don't stay long though once they realise they're better off elsewhere.

I was having a beer with my teacher friend the other day and he lives in a sort of cloud of loving it so much that the issues don't matter to him. They have no staff, can't recruit, those who are there are mostly crap and paid crap, kids are a nightmare, white kids are all delinquent, Muslim parents giving it large about what's in the curriculum, you name it. I said how awful, and he it's not awful, it's great.

Probably the best way to approach it, because if you approach it like a normal job then you'll surely just end up at Mo's stage.

I bet he's there giving up his lunch break, working all weekend 'for the kids' etc. Pointless. Like pushing water up a hill.

[Spikey M]

Encourage, Assist, Get on with it, Lament, End

[igor_balis]

I hate working from home, but the autistic obsession Giggles has with it is something else.

[Baz]

Another opportunity for a work jolly has come up but it’s in Cumbria and I’m not sure a 1 hour 40 minute drive there (and same back) is worth a day out the office.

[Lewis]

That's an afternoon off once you've said it took you over two hours to get home.

[Dquincy]

Another opportunity for a work jolly has come up but it’s in Cumbria and I’m not sure a 1 hour 40 minute drive there (and same back) is worth a day out the office.

Are all council workers as work shy as you?

[Kikó]

It's ok though as he's in the office rather than work from home.

[Baz]

Are all council workers as work shy as you?

It’s for work.

[Spikey M]

The real question should be; how - in the middle of a "cost of living crisis", with Council budgets squeezed, and many of them on the brink of bankruptcy - are they still pissing about with bullshit training courses?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because it's all they know.

[Baz]

I haven’t done a training course since my first month in 2018 when I did MHFA. There really is no money.

My trips are all events paid for by the organisers, or free visits to services out of area that I want to copy from.

[Spikey M]

I've just attended a home visit with a man that is "absolutely destitute". He told me that they had cut off his electric and he has no food at all in the house.

He then promptly opened his fridge to prove this, only to look on in Horror as the fridge light went on.

"Oh, I mean they haven't cut me off yet, but they're going to".

Now, maybe they are, that's not enough for me to call bullshit on him. The food he had piled up outside his backdoor however...

Nice try mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What happens in that kind of situation? Do you get in his face and scream LIAR, or do you just slink away pretending you haven't seen the pyramid of Melton Mowbrays outside the back door and knife him via a report back at base?

[Gray Fox]

You never want to get confrontational while in their home. Something like an "I've seen what I needed to see" after faking a look around the rest of the place and back to base to report it.

Even people who have been nice as pie to you can turn on you the second you(even rightly) question their integrity. You want to not be in a place where they've got god knows what to assault you with when they blow up.

[Spikey M]

Upon seeing it I just said "your fridge seems to be working again now. Do you want a hand moving this back in?" To which he replied "oh, haha, nah, I'll do it then you're gone. Cheers", and I made my exit.

Obviously, he won't be getting any assistance now and his card will be marked by my mental BULLSHIT stamp for all future contact.

I assume he is fiddling his benefits etc now too and will report him if I can find anything that backs it up.

[Lewis]

Do you ever get called out to damp/mouldy houses? Because literally every story I've ever seen on them heavily suggests that the people involved are simply retards who never open the windows. That video Sadiq Khan put out speaking to some woman through an interpreter was like a parody made by a racist.

[Spikey M]

I do. It's usually linked to them not being able to afford the heating (as well as not opening windows / trickle vents because it just makes it more cold, which I understand to be fair).

There are some idiots though. I once attended an eviction where they had a drier that they didn't plumb in, so all the moisture just went into the air, walls and ceiling. Everything was covered. Even the air felt furry to breathe. We ducked out immediately and I was nearly sick on the pavement.

[igor_balis]

When I got to work yesterday, the thermostat was set to 28°c. Everyone sat in T-shirts, naturally.

[Baz]

Man I forgot how stressful the end of January is for grant returns. Far worse than the end of March, surprisingly. I’d rather retender 10 contracts than do these 3 grant expenditure reports.

[Baz]

We’ve got one next Thursday, 10-3, but put it in our diaries 9:30-4:30 and she’s currently sending lists of bars we should go, after eating at the restaurant she’s booked at 2:30. I’ll be driving, fwiw.

This skive day was today. Morning was boring, afternoon was good. Driving was a mistake, will probably get the train to the next one in a fortnight.

Despite the water being brown, there’s something quite nice about the walk along the docks. Also always good to go and see my old mate Billy Fury’s statue.

[Baz]

I appreciate the irony of the last two posts. One ‘omg stress’ and the other ‘had a wonderful day of skiving in Liverpool.’

[Gray Fox]

Sounds like I've missed an interesting morning at work. I'm told the place lost access to all water(drinking and toilet) in the early hours. This obviously knocked all of the toilets out of action.
Night staff weren't really told of the issue until near 4am. As the morning shift came in they were all gathered to be told of the issue, however bottled water would be provided if requested and if they needed to use a toilet, they should clock out and go to a nearby shop/house and then come back.

After staff argued, they did concede that due to no working toilets on site that staff were not under obligation to stay. I have no idea how many of them left yet, but I do know just after 7 they got the water working again and were frantically trying to call people to tell them to come back to work.

[Lofty]

Contrast to my office the other day (owned and operated by Network Rail) where the water went off and as soon as they realised it couldn't be resolved quickly they ordered everyone to leave until further notice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

More ludicrous travel news. Our Russian has been put under pressure by the South Africans to make a trip to Russia, even though sanctions mean we are not allowed to sell there, and also the FCO (he is a British citizen) advises against all travel to Russia.

The outcome: he's going for two weeks to try and push business via middle men and other routes. Udachi. You can't get travel insurance or anything. I don't understand how this is even happening.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Clearly warzones are great for business.

[Ian]

It's happening because you work for reprehensible twats. Not a new sentiment but it bears repeating.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Since found out more. He's going as a private citizen on 'holiday', flying via Turkey on his Russian passport. I asked him about the normal company travel insurance on a business trip, and he just shrugged.

Definitely not going to get tailed by the secret services of either country, so no one will find out what he's actually doing.

[Raoul Duke]

Genuinely mental and likely criminal