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Thread: Your favourite bottle-jobs

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Your favourite bottle-jobs

    Everybody's watched those games, teams, tournaments or whatever and revelled in the schadenfreude of something going horribly wrong for a team or person when it really shouldn't have done.

    Prompted by my mention of France at the 2002 World Cup in the football thread:


    Probably wasn't my favourite example of a team bottling it but it's up there. A tournament I watched basically all of and a France team that looked good on paper but went out without a win in a group topped by a Denmark team who managed to get pumped by England in the knockouts. Glorious times.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Brazil losing to Germany in the world cup in their own backyard.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Too easy:



    Cruz Azul.

    EDIT: For context, Cruz Azul (who hasn't won a title since 97) won the first leg 1-0. The PKs are also pretty lol:

    Toggle Spoiler


    Bonus:

    Toggle Spoiler
    Last edited by Pepe; 27-05-2020 at 02:44 PM.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just google 'Jean van de Velde' and leave it at that. If ever a man acted for a nation.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The WDYTOE thread. Or, what Jimmy said.

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Greg Norman in 96 is up there. 6 ahead and 13 under par going into the final day and shoots a 78.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Everybody's watched those games, teams, tournaments or whatever and revelled in the schadenfreude of something going horribly wrong for a team or person when it really shouldn't have done.

    Prompted by my mention of France at the 2002 World Cup in the football thread:


    Probably wasn't my favourite example of a team bottling it but it's up there. A tournament I watched basically all of and a France team that looked good on paper but went out without a win in a group topped by a Denmark team who managed to get pumped by England in the knockouts. Glorious times.
    Imagine watching that while in a school that is 50% international and 50% french inside a cafeteria seating 600 when they'd never put a TV out for matches before.

    Half the school skipped class to go watch it there. Fucking incredible.

    My school was the first ever school to have a 'Model UN'. It was fucking World War 3 and it was France v Everyone in there.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I hadn't watched the highlights before my comment. Hitting the woodwork 3 times in one game

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Not the most shocking upset in Super Bowl history but my favourite by far.

    Panthers thought they were unbeatable, top scoring team, MVP in Cam Newton, just one loss in the regular season, dabbing all over the place, huge over the top team celebrations, hugely inflated egos etc etc.

    To have them bottle the championship game so dramatically against a team that had a pensioner at QB who had trouble throwing anything over 5 yards was glorious. To top it all off Cam Newton has been a shell of his former self after this game, although his ego has inflated ten-fold. He's also struggling to find a starting job in the league now.

    Edit: The post-match interview with him sulking and walking off was also amazing.
    Last edited by Sir Andy Mahowry; 27-05-2020 at 03:10 PM.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is France / Senegal the best World Cup opening match ever?

    EDIT: Mahow.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Is France / Senegal the best World Cup opening match ever?
    Might be, they are usually really shit.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Is France / Senegal the best World Cup opening match ever?

    EDIT: Mahow.
    Argentina / Cameroon in 1990 in a very similar vein (François Omam-Biyik in the PBD role), but with an added case of attempted murder by Massing on Caniggia.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    The slip

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    The slip
    Took long enough.
    I'm a twit

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    Spurs and the lasagne would be up there.

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    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    The slip
    Got to be the 3-3 game for me. The slip was glorious but watching Dwight Gayle nail the coffin was spectacular.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    2008 World Cup final. The Australian side was effectively a league dream team, and they got donned by a bunch of jobbers like Lance Hohaia.

    United BOTTLED the 2012 title big style. People remember that stupid Everton game, but the 1-0 away at City with no shots on target or whatever it was thanks to Alex Ferguson coming over all soft was what did it.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Got to be the 3-3 game for me. The slip was glorious but watching Dwight Gayle nail the coffin was spectacular.
    Crystanbul

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Took long enough.
    I was trying to think of a way to put a poll up for "How many posts until-" a mention of that but couldn't think of a way to do it. It took longer than I thought though!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Got to be the 3-3 game for me. The slip was glorious but watching Dwight Gayle nail the coffin was spectacular.
    The coffin was already nailed by that point.

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    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah but that one featured Suarez crying.

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    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    https://youtu.be/zYCvggFExI8

    Purely because I was there in person and we were 3-1 up before BOTTLING IT!!!

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I only went to the first leg but I like how you really committed to the bottle job by losing by two in the end.

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    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Extra lulz because it's PSG


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    Jimmy White is probably up there.

  27. #27
    I used to be funny.
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    Superbike blokes: Would Alvaro Bautista last season count? 11 straight wins at the start of the season then finishes a distant second to Johnny Rea.

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    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Enjoyed this one.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Hamilton 07 is surely the high water mark for motor racing bottle jobs, Raikkonen was 17 points adrift with two races left. It was almost two in a row but wait ... is that Glock!?
    Last edited by Disco; 27-05-2020 at 06:47 PM.

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    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Hamilton going on to 6 titles placates that a little. The "Is that Glock?!" moment was worth it all for the Massa seethe.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Was him letting his no-mark teammate thieve a Mercedes title a BOTTLE JOB?

  32. #32
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, Rosberg was well worth it. 2007's a definitely bottling. Beaching it in China, mashing the steering wheel in vain at Interlagos and so on.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This is probably the best non-French golf one:



    Faldo lolled his way to numerous majors via that method.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Kinga, Big Brother 6

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Kinga, Big Brother 6
    What a woman.

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    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    I only went to the first leg but I like how you really committed to the bottle job by losing by two in the end.
    We were shite on the day though

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    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    The Crystal Palace game is my pick. When Liverpool went up 3-0, they quickly grabbed the ball during the celebration and ran back to the halfway line because they needed goals for goal difference.

    The PSG Barcelona game was also good. Neymar's final assist for goal number six.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Just google 'Jean van de Velde' and leave it at that. If ever a man acted for a nation.
    I watched from the first hole of that final round of his. As he tee'd up on the 18th I left due to the inevitability of the result :/

  39. #39
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Taz and the pube sandwich.

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    Wonder if Hamilton would've gone on to be the Jimmy White of F1 if not for Glock. Possible sliding doors moment. Blowing two titles like that in his first two seasons would've weighed heavy.

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    Watched the last couple of laps at Interlagos (again). Just sensational.

    Will always feel a bit of sympathy for Massa though.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That was the last time McLaren produced a decent car so it's possible. Think he would still have gone to Merc though so maybe not.

    He did have a fairly questionable six years between the first and second titles.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    That was the last time McLaren produced a decent car so it's possible. Think he would still have gone to Merc though so maybe not.

    He did have a fairly questionable six years between the first and second titles.
    2011 (I think) was a good one, arguably the best by the end of the season.

  44. #44
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    2011 was the year he had a probably Scherzinger related meltdown and the team decided they liked smoothie Button better, a splendid long-term decision on their part.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It's almost like young millionaires weren't that happy with all the Ron era bullshit they put in their contracts.

  46. #46
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    'You must spend fifty hours a year recording voiceovers for your character in a ludicrous corporate cartoon series.'

    I was driving past Macca's the other day and god, their headquarters always makes me lol. It's like the Taj Mahal, but dedicated to Ron Dennis.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    There was talk of ripping it up because the wind tunnel is now too small. Lol.

  48. #48
    I used to be funny.
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    It makes me wonder how Schumi would've turned out if Damon won in Adelaide. When you talk about big bottlings, Schumacher pissing two races away on a parade lap is right up there.

  49. #49
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Belgium against us in the Euro's is a bit of a bottle job and one I remember fondly.

    Crystal Palace coming back against Liverpool no so much as we just proper went for it by going at whatever setting is above gung-ho and I don't remember that season for the slip as much as I do dropped points against the likes of WBA. Again.

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