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Thread: The House Thread

  1. #1701
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fuck me. Lewis' response really is the only viable one in this case. Can't even go to the police as it's probably not actually a crime.

    Nephew and Lover boy both need a stern talking to. Round up the biggest men you know.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 18-06-2021 at 03:27 PM.

  2. #1702
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Yeah absolute twats, you need to go nuclear on this now. Put the fear of god into the sick man of europe so he breaks up with your mum and finds some other poor lonely woman to fleece, because they will definitely keep looking for ways to fleece your ma if that was their opening gambit. Pack of cunts.

  3. #1703
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Buy the house yourself.

  4. #1704
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Who is the one with the van? This definitely calls for the van.

  5. #1705
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    What a pair of cunts, just be glad you found out when you did.

    I think I'd be round there with a sledgehammer through the door.

  6. #1706
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Baby boomers are the fucking worst. Like talking to a brick wall.

  7. #1707
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah. YEAH. Me and Andy will come if you're driving up from Southampton.

  8. #1708
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  9. #1709
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Hang on I'm Billy if I've got hair.

  10. #1710
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Andy must have a van so it's a win all round.

    Fuck it. I'll come too. I'll handle the disabled one. Keep things evenly matched.

  11. #1711
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Fuck me. Lewis' response really is the only viable one in this case. Can't even go to the police as it's probably not actually a crime.

    Nephew and Lover boy both need a stern talking to. Round up the biggest men you know.
    Definitely sounds like it'd fall under financial abuse. Probably worth speaking to the police about.

  12. #1712
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Definitely sounds like it'd fall under financial abuse. Probably worth speaking to the police about.
    Potentially but you'd never prove it in this instance. It's obvious what they're doing but ultimately trying to buy a house for a bargain price isn't illegal. You'd have to prove they were deliberately swindling her and she clearly isn't on board with that idea so there's no chance.

    Going to the police would probably just see SvN on the ignore list with his sisters.

    No. Sledgehammer it is.

  13. #1713
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    You don't even need to do something like that and draw a lot of attention. Maybe just engineer a situation where you get a quiet moment alone with the main culprit and just say quietly to him (so no-one else can hear and there are no witnesses) that if he doesn't sling his hook and find someone else he will spend the rest of his time in assisted living in a wheelchair shitting in a bag.

  14. #1714
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Alright, freak. Remember he designs websites.

  15. #1715
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    You need to get Lofty in the van. Bit of a round trip though.

  16. #1716
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Doesn't he get train discounts?

  17. #1717
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    You don't even need to do something like that and draw a lot of attention. Maybe just engineer a situation where you get a quiet moment alone with the main culprit and just say quietly to him (so no-one else can hear and there are no witnesses) that if he doesn't sling his hook and find someone else he will spend the rest of his time in assisted living in a wheelchair shitting in a bag.
    That's probably what he's already facing.

  18. #1718
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Alright, freak. Remember he designs websites.
    I've got good news, then.

  19. #1719
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    That is the second time in 24 hours, ive heard someone with fibromyalgia.

    Anyway, I want into the revenge mission. I'll sharpen my Stanley.

  20. #1720
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Looking like we're exchanging today. Solicitor has requested the money from the Mortgage company. Completion on Monday.

    Every moving company is fully booked...

  21. #1721
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Where's the van when you actually need it.

  22. #1722
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Got a new back door today. Miles better.

    New front window next week.
    I'm a twit

  23. #1723
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Where's the van when you actually need it.
    We are getting close to having to rent a van and do it ourselves. Although I only have a basic licence, so I don't even know how big a van I would be allowed to rent. I'm going to assume not big enough.

  24. #1724
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That's the limit, apparently. That would take 3 trips minimum and we'd have to leave the stuff in the street until we get the keys as well.

  25. #1725
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I helped my mate move the contents of his flat into his new house once. He only had a Ford Focus, so we used my car, a Skoda Octavia. It took 11 trips.

    He bought me a pint afterwards.

  26. #1726
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What are you doing Monday Jim?

  27. #1727
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post


    That's the limit, apparently. That would take 3 trips minimum and we'd have to leave the stuff in the street until we get the keys as well.
    That's not right, speak to another company. You can hire a Luton van, I did on a normal license in March.

    https://www.u-drive.co.uk/car-detail...ift/3-Family/1

    They are a Hampshire based where i hired mine but at least will show what you need.

  28. #1728
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That looks more feasible. Would be fun on the Country roads though.

    Waiting for a call back from a company that MIGHT have availability. Still holding out hope for now.

  29. #1729
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    How far have you got to go?

  30. #1730
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Jimmy moonlighting as an Uber driver is unexpected.

  31. #1731
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Fake Taxi.

  32. #1732
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    What are you doing Monday Jim?
    There's an Essex surcharge of a billion pounds.

  33. #1733
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    How far have you got to go?
    About 20 miles. Nothing too bad. Got a geezer coming in a bit to give a quote luckily.

    His "I'm your only hope surcharge" will probably surpass Jimmy's.

  34. #1734
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    As it was becoming less likely that anything would happen before stamp duty comes back in our buyers asked to come round to have another look and measure up. We'd got paranoid that they were going to try something shifty and reduce their offer to below the threshold and give us the rest directly and other kinds of fraudelent schemes but it turns out they did just want to measure everything and they couldn't give a shit about stamp duty as it's going to cost them £150.

  35. #1735
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    At least on the plus side you've stuck in just before the stamp duty deadline.

    @spikey

  36. #1736
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I helped my mate move the contents of his flat into his new house once. He only had a Ford Focus, so we used my car, a Skoda Octavia. It took 11 trips.

    He bought me a pint afterwards.
    Helping someone move home is a dickhead move. You fell into a sucker trap. Its serious hard labour.

  37. #1737
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I also painted his ceiling, as he's too short to reach it even with a stepladder. That time he got me a train ticket to Birmingham to say thank you. Do I need a new agent? Possibly.

  38. #1738
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Didn't know you and Taz were mates.

  39. #1739
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Why didn't he just buy one of those long rollers?

  40. #1740
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I also painted his ceiling.
    I bet you did.

  41. #1741
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Had a low offer on my flat. Could accept and be ok but hopefully I can push it up a bit.

  42. #1742
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    I bet you did.

    x

  43. #1743
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    This has been the most stressful week of my life, but everything is now done, just exchanged and we are finally moving on Monday.

    I'm off for a wank.

  44. #1744
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Did you get movers sorted?

  45. #1745
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We did.. had to take the risk and just pay the deposit or we'd have stood no chance. Phoning around now trying to find a company for 9am Monday would have been a right laugh.

  46. #1746
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Nice one. At least Monday won't be as much of a ballache then.

  47. #1747
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    From speaking to the Neighbours, we only got our new house so cheap because the geezer that lived here died and his brother and sister hate each other. They had it on the market at fair value for a couple of months, then dropped just to get rid so they didn't have to talk any more.

    We're considering converting the loft into another bedroom and selling it as a 4 bed when done. Should grab a decent profit and leave us with a tiny mortgage when we buy another 3 bed.

    Has anyone had a loft conversion before? Any idea of likely cost? Google offers a very unhelpful "A loft conversion typically costs between £21,000 – £44,000. You could pay up to £63,000 if you want a particularly large extension."

  48. #1748
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I’m in the same boat. Lad over the road drives a van for a loft conversion company so I’ll ask him when I’ve saved a bit more money but would be good to have a rough idea.
    I'm a twit

  49. #1749
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Depends what sort of loft conversion you want and the age/style of your house.

    A hip to gable with dormer extension is the most common around here as we have loads of the 1930s semis which are easily converted.

    Depends on the pitch of your roofer it's a newer house and also how the roof is built, if it's a traditionally cut roof it's loads easier than a truss roof.

    There are a lot of variables. I could probably give a bit more advise if you have a picture of your roof.

  50. #1750
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    From speaking to the Neighbours, we only got our new house so cheap because the geezer that lived here died and his brother and sister hate each other. They had it on the market at fair value for a couple of months, then dropped just to get rid so they didn't have to talk any more.
    My brother got his old house cheap because the couple who had it were getting divorced and somehow living separate lives within it. It's like a sort of living probate.

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