Here's my Night 1 review. Night 2 I'll get round to when I stop laughing at Shane.
WWE United States Title Match
Austin Theory (c) vs. John Cena
The champion coming out first always annoys me. Lol that ramp is massive. Theory looks amazing and reminds me of a young Orton. But even old man Cena dwarfs him in star quality still. And this Make-a-Wish entrance is even more reason to have him come out before Theory. Oh he’s very bald now. But nice touch to put over the US title in the introductions. Starting out with very basic psychology of veteran babyface versus cocky young heel. That’s fine as with a long card you don’t always want to go hard early on and kill the crowd for the main event(s). Theory is pretty good at getting crowd heat which makes a simple suplex from Cena a good pop. Theory doesn’t sell very well but that should come with time. Not sure why they needed to do the false finish for Cena because this is all about elevating Theory and the crowd got hyped by the comeback leading to it anyway so, yeah, unnecessary. This was alright and did its job. It’s getting hate online it seems but this card is four hours so if they were all epics I’d be burned out half way through.
Fatal Four Way Tag Team Match
Braun Strowman & Ricochet vs. The Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) vs. The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) vs. Alpha Academy (Chad Gable & Otis)
The ramp is so long they cut the music half way down and move on to the next team. Four way tags are just as ridiculous as four way singles as we start with a few pins which the other competitors have no interest in breaking up and then they just decide to disregard the rules to do face offs and overly cooperative spots. I’m not hanging around for this. I wait for Titus O’Neil to bury Otis on commentary then I’m out of there.
Singles Match
Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul
I stop the fast forwarding during the video package and literally the first thing I hear is Seth cackling. FFS. Logan Paul is such a heat machine and it’s fucking great. The mic’ed up entrance is good shit but the bottle of Prime is not. Rollins is pretty much only a babyface at this point because of his entrance music. The crowd can WOAH to Cody’s music instead now so there’s no excuse to fuck off this gimmick and go heel. Paul has no business being this good. Admittedly he’s still a bit clunky and Rollins does a good job of leading him through the match early on but already he’s got better wrestling basics than half the guys in another promotion. Kevin Dunn lets me know someone notable is in that Prime bottle and will get involved. Rollins just lacks that sharpness and snappiness to his offence these days. The storytelling and call backs were pretty good for essentially a celebrity match and Paul sells better than full time guys. So it’s KSI in the Prime outfit. OK. Mistimed spot through the table. Surely there’s a countout or DQ in there somewhere too. The G2S looked a bit bad but the camera covered for it well and then Paul got a bit lost before remembering the splash off the top was next. The same hesitancy for coast to coast and his greenness is a bit more obvious here now than in the past. The finish was a bit out of nowhere too. Considering Paul is not a wrestler, it was great, but if you measure on the same scale as everyone else then it was just alright. The pacing was off.
Six Man Tag Team Match
Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus vs. Damage CTRL (Bayley, Dakota Kai & IYO SKY)
I’ll be surprised if I get through all of this. The booking of this feud has been terrible. It starts OK with Becky as the babyface in peril. Damage CTRL would be very good if they were booked correctly. The heat segment is good; decent teamwork from the heels and Becky sells well and is in the right places. Hot tag to Lita is ice cold, damn. And she does not look very good. Quite a long segment before Trish gets in and she’s actually OK; the heels have fed well for the part timers. That hurricanrana spot in the outside is everything I hate about cooperative “stand around like a dumbass waiting to catch your flying opponent” wrestling. Then back in the ring and a scruffy sequence that culminates in the ref seeing the interference he wasn’t meant to see. Then another group hug on the outside to catch the moonsault. This has fell apart now and I’ve had enough but I feel it’s almost done so I’ll carry on. All six dive back in on the count of nine in another bit of nonsense. Then some homage to AEW with complete disregard for the rules as they all jump in for a brawl as the ref stands around looking like a bottle of milk. Finally the finish sequence which was clunky to put it nicely with Bayley eating a pin for no good reason because the finish was so cold. The match started well then got progressively worse.
Singles Match
Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio
The video packages pre-match should sell anyone on this. WWE video packages are unrivalled in any form of entertainment. Also the entrance for Dom is absolutely brilliant. Cool nod to his dad and Eddie’s match at Halloween Havoc with the ring gear too. Rey comes out to Eddie’s music and with a Muta tribute mask too so straight away this is awesome. Cinnamon Toast Crunch sponsoring such a grudge match is weird though. The opening exchange is a bit odd though as they start out like a regular wrestling match rather than a father vs. son feud. Dad then spanks the naughty boy’s arse with his belt and this would probably benefit from a no-DQ stipulation now I think about it. I’m not feeling this so far; Dom should be heeling up big time with stalling and backing off like Flair but this is all a bit standard wrestling match with a bit of bad mouthing the family in between. Balor and Priest at ringside now and then a shot of Bad Bunny on comms straight after so we know where this is going. Three Amigos attempt from Dom which is the kind of shit he should have been doing since the start. And here’s the LWO for shenanigans. 619 and Frog Splash from Dom should have been the finish, imagine the heat. But Rey hit it himself to win. Ehhh, I dunno. WrestleMania is all about the babyfaces triumphing, I get it, but they could have got more legs out of this one with a Dominik win. But they’ve got a Bad Bunny match at Backlash to hype…
WWE SmackDown Women's Title Match
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Rhea Ripley
Ripley is looking like even more of a star than usual here. This has to be a title change surely. Charlotte is looking great too but she is just the worst babyface. We start with a bit of fight in the collar and elbow which is a great touch and often overlooked, it sets the tone for a big time match, something that Rey and Dom could have done. Decent psychology to begin with the powerhouse heel and they’re working pretty stiff so it looks good. I’ve always been harsh on Charlotte but she’s selling well here and is feeding for Rhea really nicely. The crowd are ready for Rhea to be the champion, popping big for any camera close up of her. Charlotte finally regains the upper hand but she’s going with vicious leg attacks and crowd posing. Double turn? Rhea sells a DDT like death. They’re definitely working reverse roles now but I don’t know if it’s by accident or they’re reacting to the crowd being 100% behind Rhea. Holy fuck that German off the top, great stuff. Well done to Corey calling the delay in Rhea getting the pin was why it wasn’t the finish, protecting the big time moves. Now Rhea has the upper hand again she’s working heel. They should have just gone with heel vs. heel for this one, they’re both in their element that way; Charlotte is not a babyface you want to get behind. And a German from the mat results in a face plant haha, Charlotte jumped more back than up. In a way it’s a shame there wasn’t more claret there, it would have helped her get support as the babyface. The moonsault off the top looks great but it’s just dumb as anyone who doesn’t want 150lbs on their head just moves out the way. Riptide, kickout. Fair enough as it was a bit out of nowhere. This crowd will go nuts for the win. Charlotte makes the Prism Lock look great as well. More good selling from Rhea for the spear and big boot then using the ropes to protect the effectiveness of Charlotte’s submissions. Riptide off the top for the win. Nice touch from Charlotte smiling at Ripley at the end in a clear passing the torch moment. These two are brilliant workers. I wish Charlotte was motivated more often. Tremendous match. Considering there wasn’t really a babyface, I don’t know how that could have been better.
Singles Match
Pat McAfee vs. The Miz
You know what, I like The Miz. He knows his role and he does it well. Corey fuming Pat is here lol. Pat dressed like he’s about to settle down on the sofa. Snoop Dogg is hilarious. Bit of random Kittle. Ahh whatever this was what it was, the crowd need a break after the last match.
WWE RAW Tag Team Title / WWE SmackDown Tag Team Title Match
The Usos (Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
More outstanding video packages. The Usos in the main event of WrestleMania by right tells you everything about just how good this storyline has been. KO being so over the top and dramatic in his “emoting” is why I think I’ve never truly got behind him. Sami and Jey start the match which I think was a wrong move, they should have left the crowd waiting for them. And now a test of strength a week after the Jey betrayal? Nah come on, Sami should be wanting to rip his head off. Anyway, it’s better now we are into the heat segment and Sami is a great seller but he needs to be the hero of this match but the way it’s set up so far is KO as the hot tag. The crowd would have popped huge for Sami being the hot tag there. Best friends or not, he’s still a bit of a third wheel in this. Long KO segment versus both Usos and it’s a bit big move spam, especially as we are not near the end yet. Sami finally reappears for a brainbuster ON THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING MAGGLE then an Uso splash for another two count. More moves and I’m struggling to see the story they’re trying to tell, it's all a bit indie-riffic. Michael Cole is actually doing really well on commentary to try to reason what’s going on. The segment with both Usos double teaming Sami is better as it’s good tag team tactics and puts Sami in peril before he inevitably overcomes. I normally dislike table spots but disposing of KO is good stuff if it means he’s out for the duration. The crowd respond now to the kickout as they recognise the big hill to climb for Sami. Jimmy is a load of nothing but Jey is a great heel. Oh fuck KO is back to clean house. He seems like the bigger deal in the team which is just bizarre. All the kickouts are getting a bit egregious now. Floor cam gets a nice close up of KO and Jey calling the next spot lol. Sami is finally in for the hot tag to end it with Jey. They got there in the end but there was a whole load of confusing and unnecessary shit before they got there. The women should have main evented and this should have been a 15 minute all out brawl.
Yeah, I’m not feeling this as much as most other people. Match of the night is obvious and other than that, it was all a bit middling despite WWE’s incredible video packages getting me hyped pre-match.
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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry
