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Thread: ASDA Pizza

  1. #501
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Astagfirallah. But the infidel's temptation is strong and it is sweet (er...salty).


    Just watching a piece on the news about Brits and their obesity. These people have got to be the most clueless, tasteless, impoverished people in the world when it comes to topic of food. Let them have their sausages

  2. #502
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post


    Just watching a piece on the news about Brits and their obesity. These people have got to be the most clueless, tasteless, impoverished people in the world when it comes to topic of food. Let them have their sausages
    Oh, Taz. I had a Joojeh/Koobideh combo plate the other day that I would give up all of my deeply-held Western values for. Where do I sign to join the Axis of Evil?

  3. #503
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Sez that lot, who had to start wiping their arses with their hands to give their sand curry a bit of flavour.

  4. #504
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    This looks wonderful. I've been thinking of the Ooni for a while now - do you need loads of space?
    They're really good. The heat output is probably marginally less than a traditional brick built oven, which my bro has. But it's negligible and the brick ovens take a good hour to get up to the required temp, where as the Ooni takes about 15 minutes. Plus the Ooni is fairly compact - photo below - and the feet fold away, etc so you could take it on holiday with you if you were going camping.



  5. #505
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I want to see what Taz eats in a typical week.

  6. #506
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I feel like a normal oven could cook that.

  7. #507
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I want to see what Taz eats in a typical week.
    It's always been a bit of a tribal affair since I've had to fend for myself but particularly now with the COVID effects on my senses pushing me ever further away from acceptable social norms.

    1pm - Don's Trademark Greek Yoghurt Special Bowl (see previous conversations for details)

    8pm - Enough pasta to feed a family of 4.

    9pm - Fruit plate equivalent to what must be about 10 fruit portions.

    Ultimately, the fundamental theory is simple; keep it natural. Anything with an ingredient a child can't identify can be regarded as toxic. I think my chilli sauces with their Xanthan Gums and what not are the only notable exception but even they're being phased out. Lemon juice and herbs for flavouring.

    It's less cultured than a stag-do in Benidorm and I'm fully aware the world isn't ready for it yet but let me tell you, I'm OD-ing off the endorphin hit like it's a Big Mac meal and the energy and after-effects of it all is not up for debate. L337 bodyhacking.

  8. #508
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Got a work colleague who shipped a pizza oven from Italy along with regular shipments of flour. Man is really at the forefront of hipster innovation so jump on now before it becomes the new fondue.

  9. #509
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I feel like a normal oven could cook that.
    A normal oven cannot get to the high temperatures (circa 450c) that a pizza oven will. Plus you don't get the woodfire flavour.

    I have done them in the oven before and they're ok, but nowhere near as good.

  10. #510
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I'm sure they're good and all, but those pizza ovens always look a right faff to me. Small pizzas, having them probably stick to the peel as you try to put them in, one at a time cooking even if it's rapid. No thanks. A conventional oven dialled up to 11 still makes a good pizza and can be done indoors.

  11. #511
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Yeah, I won't lie, it is a bit of a faff. But I like it.

  12. #512
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Build your own.

  13. #513
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    That slating of Spanish pork products on the last page is NOT acceptable. They are far better than our shite.

  14. #514
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sorry Jimmy Corbyn.

  15. #515
    I used to be funny.
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    Jimmy's in the pocket of Big Spanish Sausage.

  16. #516
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    This is no time for gay jokes.

  17. #517
    I used to be funny.
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    Follow the money.

  18. #518
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    God forbid that one's pork should taste of something rather than just having the name of a non-first-class county shoved in front of it and be dipped in baked bean sauce.

  19. #519
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Well I don't want to steam in with my radical ideas here but I actually like pork products from more than one country.

  20. #520
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Traitor.

  21. #521
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My issue is more with cured meats in general, than Spains attempts at it. It's just that they compound the issue by adding Paprika to it.

  22. #522
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I'm sure they're good and all, but those pizza ovens always look a right faff to me. Small pizzas, having them probably stick to the peel as you try to put them in, one at a time cooking even if it's rapid. No thanks. A conventional oven dialled up to 11 still makes a good pizza and can be done indoors.
    We make pizzas in the home oven quite a bit. Mate has just bought a pizza oven second hand off one of the companies that does pizzas at food festivals and stuff. We went round for one the other night and there's really no contest, they are so much better.

    Once the wedding is done and I actually have some money again I'll get one I think.

  23. #523
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Well I don't want to steam in with my radical ideas here but I actually like pork products from more than one country.
    This is why you lost to me in the final. You need to hate things and you need to hate them for arbitrary reasons.

  24. #524
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    *Takes notes*

    Is "Because it's not the thing I like!" reason enough?

  25. #525
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There's no such thing as an opinion, only facts, and too often other people get their facts wrong. Make sure you remember that and be as aggressive as possible when reinforcing it, especially when it comes to important topics like ham and sausages.

  26. #526
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You should start a cult Jimmy. I believe 20% of income is the accepted norm for cult membership.

  27. #527
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    There's no such thing as an opinion, only facts, and too often other people get their facts wrong. Make sure you remember that and be as aggressive as possible when reinforcing it, especially when it comes to important topics like ham and sausages.

  28. #528
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    We make pizzas in the home oven quite a bit. Mate has just bought a pizza oven second hand off one of the companies that does pizzas at food festivals and stuff. We went round for one the other night and there's really no contest, they are so much better.

    Once the wedding is done and I actually have some money again I'll get one I think.
    I don't doubt it but where is this commercial oven living, how easy/affordable is it to run and, if it's outside, what do you do when you want a pizza during the 11 months of the year it's cold and raining?

    Sure, build your house around one if you get the chance, but fuck having to build a(nother) kitchen outside.

  29. #529
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Just 1 month where it's acceptable to cook outside? Madness.

    It takes about 60 seconds to cook a pizza once the pizza oven is upto temperature. No great hardship really.

  30. #530
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    He lives on some French island in the shadow of Jersey. They don't see the sun.

  31. #531
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Don't get me started on Jers-'the sunniest place in the british isles'-ey with their fucking measuring chicanery.

    But yeah, whatever, I still want to eat pizza between October and March, I don't want to have to go outside to do it.

  32. #532
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    I must admit, I'd need some convincing on the merits of spending hundreds of pounds on a pizza oven to sit outside in the English rain for most of the year while I have a perfectly functioning oven in the kitchen already.

  33. #533
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You could say the same for Barbecues.

  34. #534
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    How does the price compare? I can buy a disposable barbecue for a fiver or get a kettle for about €35.

  35. #535
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Cooking pizza at 450-500c makes a world of difference vs. a conventional oven. Where I’m waffling a bit is along the lines of the first part of Yev’s post. Am I going to want to eat enough pizza to justify the price, given Canada’s allotment of 3 weeks of summer?

    Ah, fuck, the answer is probably yes.

    @Dquincy is the opening big enough to fit a pan or cast-iron skillet? If it’s multi-purpose I could be further tempted.

  36. #536
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    You could say the same for Barbecues.
    My Dad built a housing for his barbecue so we could have them any time of the year. It was glorious.

  37. #537
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    My Dad built a housing for his barbecue so we could have them any time of the year. It was glorious.
    My wife has an Aussie uncle and he's done the same. Well, it's more like the little beach bars you get in the Caribbean. Or a fuck off shed with 2 giant open windows.

    Anyway, It's a brilliant set up. He has a grill like you see in Kebab shops, a smoker, 2 fridges full of beer and optics on the wall.

    Covid ruining our annual Summer Barbecue round there is one of the great tragedies of our time.

  38. #538
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He needs a few kegs.

  39. #539
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    My wife has an Aussie uncle and he's done the same. Well, it's more like the little beach bars you get in the Caribbean. Or a fuck off shed with 2 giant open windows.

    Anyway, It's a brilliant set up. He has a grill like you see in Kebab shops, a smoker, 2 fridges full of beer and optics on the wall.

    Covid ruining our annual Summer Barbecue round there is one of the great tragedies of our time.
    My dream is to build a timber frame pool (table) room in my garden, complete with fuck off tv and bar.

  40. #540
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Anyway pizza snobs, talk to me about sauce. I find it hard to get it to the right consistency without just cooking it for ages, which seems like it might not necessarily be the best idea.

  41. #541
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Use BBQ.

  42. #542
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Disgusting.

  43. #543
    I used to be funny.
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    BBQ's fine with chicken.

  44. #544
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I just use tomato puree.

  45. #545
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Ketchup would work.

  46. #546
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Anyway pizza snobs, talk to me about sauce. I find it hard to get it to the right consistency without just cooking it for ages, which seems like it might not necessarily be the best idea.
    Cooking it is the wrong approach. Fresh, skinless, crushed tomatoes from a jar/can is the right approach.

  47. #547
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Tried that, watery as fuck. What process do you have to put them through to remove the excess moisture? I want a smooth, thick(ish) sauce. Even draining them of what they are in and mushing them up doesn't really seem to work (and often the run off ends up being about the same consistency as the mushed stuff ).

    These are the tomatoes I have been using (I'll spoiler it as the image is bigger than the can):

    Toggle Spoiler

  48. #548
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Can't you strain the tomatoes?

  49. #549
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    They’re plum aren’t they?

    Either way though, blitz them.

  50. #550
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Yeah, if they're the pelati (full tomatoes in liquid), blitzing them should be good. You also might be overestimating the amount of sauce you need as well - a half cup is plenty for a normal sized pizza.

    If you truly want a thicker sauce, cook the blitzed mixture down over medium-low heat for 30m-1h - this will remove some of the moisture.
    Last edited by Luca; 28-07-2020 at 06:54 PM.

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