User Tag List

Page 77 of 235 FirstFirst ... 2767757677787987127177 ... LastLast
Results 3,801 to 3,850 of 11733

Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3801
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Laaaaaandan
    Posts
    12,192
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Yep - easier to hide guff when you have more people. Necessary to hire to avoid burnout (Hello Jimmy!) but there is a balance between hiring well and filling your company with deadweight.

  2. #3802
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Haarlem
    Posts
    6,827
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    What happens (and I'm watching this unravel in real time in my workplace) is they realise that the fewer people you have, the more 'productivity' there is per person.

    The most useless bloke in my team I really can't see getting back at the end of this. In a sense it's deserved, because he's fucking useless, but then why was he employed in the first place?
    Bullshit jobs. In reality, most companies are overstaffed as they're still operating on pre-digital era principles. Technology has made everyone more efficient but there are more people.

    Plus human system trend towards entropy over time. I'm convinced the biggest cohesive organisational unit achievable is a football team, everything after that is bad noise and HR departments.

  3. #3803
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The way my work records how much you're doing makes things so easy. It's based entirely on the number of cases you've worked and the number of tasks carried out.

    I had a long email exchange earlier, pretty much all 1 line jobs, and it's taken my tasks up to 50% of the total work completed for the day. I've been sat scratching my bollocks and twiddling my thumbs ever since. I just need to stop being in any way concise to make full use of this going forward.

  4. #3804
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Kildare
    Posts
    30,491
    Mentioned
    139 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'd love that kind of structure.

  5. #3805
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The bell tolls. The most useless guy in my team has been made redundant.

    I quite enjoyed the MD's method of communicating this: walking around the office repeating 'Yeah, so I've let X go' every few paces.

  6. #3806
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hull
    Posts
    27,119
    Mentioned
    132 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The measures put in at work were a lot less stupid than I imagined, so that is something. Apparently senior management is just completely deferring to the unions, knowing full well that they will just refuse anything and everything, and then acting as if they can't make any decisions. That sounds about right.

  7. #3807
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    3,890
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Odds of having a job in 2021 look a tad bleak, currently.

  8. #3808
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I know the feeling.

  9. #3809
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    6,623
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rainy day fund is a must.

  10. #3810
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,158
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    After 3 years with my company I've got a promotion (well, more a sidestep). Currently Assistant Team Leader dealing with escalations, dickheads etc. As of Monday I'm working IT/Back Office, doing timesheets, allocating work, paysheets, stock business emails and IT support.

    No more customer facing bollocks, lets go.

  11. #3811
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Fuck me I have dealt with some cunts today. First of all there was some twat from Norfolk who claimed 'not to have the capacity' to place an online order. How did he find our number, in the fucking Yellow Pages? Then some French cunt, by which of course I mean a French person, phoned up and said that an order he placed two weeks ago was not an order, but the 'preview of an order' and he didn't understand why we'd invoiced him and delivered the goods. I said why didn't you tell us this when we sent the email confirmation two weeks ago. He said he had been 'out of office' for two weeks and not checked his emails. Come on, Jean-Pascal, not even the French are that fucking useless, you lying piece of shit.

    Finally, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, some prick in Madrid cancelled a Ł1,000 order he had placed the previous day because of 'slow delivery time'. I mean, mate, the thing weighs 150kg, did you want us to send it strapped to a magic teleporting donkey?

    The climate is so impossible now, people just won't spend money.

  12. #3812
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    After 3 years with my company I've got a promotion (well, more a sidestep). Currently Assistant Team Leader dealing with escalations, dickheads etc. As of Monday I'm working IT/Back Office, doing timesheets, allocating work, paysheets, stock business emails and IT support.

    No more customer facing bollocks, lets go.
    It's a tremendous thing DS.

    Well done!

  13. #3813
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Scotchland
    Posts
    17,921
    Mentioned
    72 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This wholesale thing is a piece of piss as well, provided your company has an excellent proposition.

    I've done nothing and my commission this month is Ł1,900. My resellers place the orders themselves.

  14. #3814
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Fuck me I have dealt with some cunts today. First of all there was some twat from Norfolk who claimed 'not to have the capacity' to place an online order. How did he find our number, in the fucking Yellow Pages? Then some French cunt, by which of course I mean a French person, phoned up and said that an order he placed two weeks ago was not an order, but the 'preview of an order' and he didn't understand why we'd invoiced him and delivered the goods. I said why didn't you tell us this when we sent the email confirmation two weeks ago. He said he had been 'out of office' for two weeks and not checked his emails. Come on, Jean-Pascal, not even the French are that fucking useless, you lying piece of shit.

    Finally, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, some prick in Madrid cancelled a Ł1,000 order he had placed the previous day because of 'slow delivery time'. I mean, mate, the thing weighs 150kg, did you want us to send it strapped to a magic teleporting donkey?

    The climate is so impossible now, people just won't spend money.
    I may have said before that I think the most unreasonable customer I've even spoken to was a woman who was threatening to call the police on the Student Loans Company for STEALING HER PASSPORT. That she had posted to them with the full knowledge that it might not get processed for whatever timescale they were telling people at the time.

  15. #3815
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,158
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I once had a customer kick off because, on a plate on their dining set, the supplier had molded a cock and balls onto it. Clear as day. They got a full refund and kept the item for a 'conversational' piece.

  16. #3816
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)


    That's excellent.

    Was trying to think of others and I think all my best ones were on the phones for Student Loans Company. You got some proper mongos.

    Also a big fan of the guy who Scottish Power cut off because he'd rigged his meter to power heatlamps for cannabis and got his mum to call up and sort it out for him.

  17. #3817
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,158
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    There was also the woman who sent in images of her damaged furniture but also attached three images of her post breast surgery shots.

  18. #3818
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Luckily I do mostly B2B but the rare encounters with the general public do not make me want to meet any more of them. The combination of rude and thick as shit is the current trend in the UK.

  19. #3819
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I had someone say 'one fourth' rather than a quarter earlier and it struck me so odd that it left me completely unable to follow the rest of the sentence.

  20. #3820
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The best whacko I had was a bloke who had a fine for not having a TV Licence.

    He refuses to pay the licence fee because he will not pay for what they're up to. The BBC, along with the Met Office have been EXPERIMENTING ON OUR WEATHER! Any BBC viewing is purely for research purposes.

  21. #3821
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    8,714
    Mentioned
    108 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It's worthwhile to note a lot of these nutter complaint sorts dialing it up are putting it on to take advantage of the systems. I know of sorts who have come back from holiday with a massive telephone bill and gone in so hard on the phone they ended up not only having their bills waived but also recompensated for their troubles

  22. #3822
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    4,158
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    It's worthwhile to note a lot of these nutter complaint sorts dialing it up are putting it on to take advantage of the systems. I know of sorts who have come back from holiday with a massive telephone bill and gone in so hard on the phone they ended up not only having their bills waived but also recompensated for their troubles
    I was such a cunt. Furniture could've crushed some Mother's kid and I'd have only offered a fiver gift card.

  23. #3823
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The best whacko I had was a bloke who had a fine for not having a TV Licence.

    He refuses to pay the licence fee because he will not pay for what they're up to. The BBC, along with the Met Office have been EXPERIMENTING ON OUR WEATHER! Any BBC viewing is purely for research purposes.
    Tremendous. Did he divulge what these experiments were?

  24. #3824
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Tremendous. Did he divulge what these experiments were?
    I wasn't too keen to follow him down the rabbit hole but there had been some flooding up north that year and they were behind it. Going to take it to court he was. He's probably been assassinated by now

  25. #3825
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    "I suppose you think it's a coincidence that so-called climate change is happening right when Doctor Who has turned into a woman, do you?"

  26. #3826
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Man, I miss banking complaints. The ones that know just enough knowledge to be dangerous are the best. "No, my husband works at a bank and he says ..."

  27. #3827
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    So close Shinners. So fucking close.

  28. #3828
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    If I could replace all my posts with the John quote, I would.

  29. #3829
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    22,538
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I've just had an elderly lady on the phone telling me that she's 'always been promiscuous'. It in no way fits in with what she was telling me and I have no idea what she thinks promiscuous means but I hope she uses it lots.

  30. #3830
    Senior Member John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    8,833
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'd guess she was looking for 'parsimonious'.

  31. #3831
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,420
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    One of the all time greats I had while customer facing was being challenged on the price of a half fare by a parent during the school holidays because 'it's only 50p at the swimming in the holidays!'.

  32. #3832
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Being challenged on price by tight arse, lying chancers is one of the ones I despise the most as a salesman, probably because I'm a non-tight person in any walk of life and I don't get their mindset at all.

    'Yes, we have that in stock, price is Ł28.'
    'Is that the best you can do?'
    'Yes.'
    'Seems a bit dear to me.'
    'That's how much it is.'
    'At Competitor X I can get that for Ł24.'
    'Well, here you can get it for Ł28.'
    'OK, I'll place the order.'

    I wouldn't win too many awards for revolutionary mind-bending sales technique but it gets the job done.

  33. #3833
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Kildare
    Posts
    30,491
    Mentioned
    139 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Just tell them it will cost them more than Ł4 of their time to hang up and call someone else.

  34. #3834
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    5,420
    Mentioned
    35 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Used to get that at PC World Jim, people coming in having watched too much Dominic Littlewood that morning and trying all his tips, immediately asking to speak to the manager and asking for the best price when buying a low end single item purchase

  35. #3835
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The whole point of having a manager is that nobody should ever be able to speak to them. If anyone kicks off at me and demands escalation I just tell them to do one.

  36. #3836
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    When I was briefly managing a team of evening call centre-y types I would take escalations from proper dickheads because I knew the guys actually knew what the fuck they were doing so it was fun to reiterate that to them but while having to be less friendly about it because my bonus wasn't affected by being nice to people on the phone.

  37. #3837
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That was always the thing that got me about escalations. If the manager calls a customer back, it's just to reiterate the words you've told them. In the jobs I've done, managers are so far removed from your job, they need your words to get them through a call they'd rather not make.

  38. #3838
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Yeah I was quite lucky in that instance in that I knew the job as well as the people taking them as I'd trained them but yeah, in most call centres unless you're just wanting to hear a different voice tell you the same thing (and that does pacify a daft amount of people) then it's often a total waste of time.

    In one of the ones I was in you wrote down callback requests on a form, put them all in a box which then usually got binned at the end of the day.

  39. #3839
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The only time I've seen the punter get their way was when we had a bloke deputising when the other managers were all on a privilege day. I told him exactly what to say but he completely crumbled. I was livid.

  40. #3840
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    1,150
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    A job has come up that I really want to go for, but the deadline for handing in my notice for the academic year was the end of May. So going to suck it up and ask the head tomorrow if he'll waive my notice period in the event I'm offered the job. Nothing to lose really as I was resigned to staying another year anyway, so if he says no it's no big deal.

  41. #3841
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Today is the start of 2 more weeks on my own as the furloughed people have been rotated back to their bedrooms until the end of June, and honestly, fuck this.

  42. #3842
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    No more pronouncements from the MD mooching about the office?

  43. #3843
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    There are rumblings that he's going to make use of part time furlough arrangements in July, but no, all I've heard from him today is how he should have taken 3 wood off the 16th tee on Saturday morning, with driver being an unnecessary risk given he was 1 up with water all down the right.

  44. #3844
    Webly Ian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    20,722
    Mentioned
    123 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sounds like he had a pretty rough weekend.

  45. #3845
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    There's currently some DRAMA in the warehouse as one of the workers (white) was found to have posted some racist stuff on the Sky News website, and another worker (black) somehow found out and complained. The guy is now claiming his account was hacked. They're now trying to work out whether they can sack him or not.

  46. #3846
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    They're now listing all the non-white employees and speculating on what their reactions might be if the guy isn't sacked. They really need to work on getting a thicker office door so I can't hear all this.

  47. #3847
    I used to be funny.
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    21,344
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Chennai's gone into lockdown again so I'm sure those bodies that have been borrowed across the office aren't coming back. Wouldn't this be something if it had an effect on outsourcing abroad?

  48. #3848
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    12,621
    Mentioned
    80 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    They're now listing all the non-white employees and speculating on what their reactions might be if the guy isn't sacked. They really need to work on getting a thicker office door so I can't hear all this.
    Any further developments by the end of the day?

  49. #3849
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    35,412
    Mentioned
    84 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)


    00:46

  50. #3850
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    18,243
    Mentioned
    119 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    not to abuse my powers but if it worked i did your timestamp for you

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •