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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #12701
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    One of the lads in our product development team (Ukrainian) just got the boot after it was discovered he was taking pictures of parts in our warehouse and then offering them for sale on his own website.

    How stupid do you have to be?

  2. #12702
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Depends how long he’s been doing it?
    I'm a twit

  3. #12703
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Yeah, I need to know how much he made before choosing the right smiley. Have to appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit, at least.

  4. #12704
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The website started in February, so about five minutes.

  5. #12705

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    @Pepe you'll be looking for this:

  6. #12706
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Did you catch him?

  7. #12707
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I'm struggling to understand this, was he just nicking the parts from the warehouse that were then being sold on through his website?

  8. #12708
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Turns out it's not even the funniest thing to happen at the company today. They got in some South African builders (I know) because the South African finance director was concerned that the upstairs kitchen was too large and the space could be better used making his office bigger. So the builders have come in, managed to drill through the plumbing, and now both the Arab's and the Russian's offices have been flooded by cascades of brown water from the ceiling.

    Not a metaphor for anything, not at all.

  9. #12709
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I'm struggling to understand this, was he just nicking the parts from the warehouse that were then being sold on through his website?
    Presumably this was the caper, not sure it got as far as actually coming to pass before IT nicked him. Either that or he was going to use his knowledge of our suppliers to buy the stuff himself and just use our bits as marketing fluff.

  10. #12710
    I used to be funny.
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    Are you working in a sitcom? Is there a wall missing in your office where a studio audience might be?

  11. #12711
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    You couldn't make it up.

  12. #12712
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    @Pepe you'll be looking for this:
    I was planning

  13. #12713
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I was disappointed to not be attending the Harm Reduction International Conference in Bogota, Colombia this week. But I've just clocked it's 18 degrees there and 25 here, so lol.

    Might push for a 2027 ticket, regardless of where it's at.
    I'm a twit

  14. #12714
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    When I was in Bogota, my man told me that it's always the same climate there, regardless of season. Blew my tiny British mind.

  15. #12715
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Mexico City is the same.

  16. #12716
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm told the Canaries is the same, but I went once and it was 18c and cloudy all week. So now I trust nobody.

  17. #12717
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Resigned today for a job at a great British institution sponsored by Barclays.

  18. #12718
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Will the new position bring a new nationality with it?

  19. #12719
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Korean.

  20. #12720
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We recently hired a former Olympian to work in our shipping department. After the interview, the MD and head of shipping came in and were just purring about how great she was at the javelin or canoeing or whatever it was she was a former Olympian in. Needless to say she is fucking shite. I think they hired her solely because she went to Seoul 88 / Barcelona 92 (delete as appropriate). Never thought the Lindsay Davenport sketch from Mitchell & Webb would come true, but here we are.

  21. #12721
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    When I read Olympian in the shipping department I imagined some strongman who would allow them to sell all the forklifts, not just another useless woman. Gives the higher ups a story though, and that is more valuable than whatever someone non-shit would do.

  22. #12722
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    One of our data analysts is a high performing athlete and couldn’t be more sound. Has lots of time off for competitions.
    I'm a twit

  23. #12723
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    How big are her nipples, Jim?

  24. #12724
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    The size of discuses.

  25. #12725
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Like curling rocks.

  26. #12726
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    How big are her nipples, Jim?
    She told me that she took a couple of vibration dampers from a Cummins 15 litre and used them as nipple tassels.

  27. #12727
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    One of the kids in my year group died last night. Completely unexpected and with exams starting tomorrow, a lot of kids are going to be having a really tough time. Can't wait for this year to be over.

  28. #12728
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    U OK hun?

  29. #12729
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Any of you frauds have any experience with paying for a CV review?

  30. #12730
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    ChatGpt got you.

  31. #12731
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I dont trust it and now. I don't trust you.

  32. #12732
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Because he's Mexican, right?

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