March Football: Tommy Tuchel Clocks On

[Gray Fox]

This is about right, well for 5 and 8. To be honest they did well considering how shit a game it has been. Penalties beckon for maximum child misery.

I took the 9 and 7 year old to the local non-leaguers last season, followed a little bit after by Stoke v Plymouth. Was pretty much a perfect day for it and once the pre-match burger and chips were done they seemed to enjoy the first half, but the younger was definitely done by half time.

Makes me wary of trying to get Anfield tickets any time soon. Probably all in for the best part of £150-200 with that, even if you get through the ballots to be chosen. Whereas the next Stoke game still has tickets available pretty much pitch side at the halfway line, all 3 of us in for £23. Might try them at Stoke again to see how they do.

[niko_cee]

Home crowd bias here but this has to be one of the worst ref performances of all time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can we just go straight to penalties? Another 30 minute of this will be torture.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, already feels like we've had the extra time.

[Ben]

Brighton shutting up shop in the 80th minute because ET and penalties is the better percentage play is pathetic stuff.

They’ll go through now I’ve said it but it’s this data-driven shit that makes modern football utterly boring at times.

[Manc]

Ryan Yates is a proper shithouser.

[niko_cee]

I'd fancy Forest in a shoot out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Finally started to come alive.

[niko_cee]

Forest are a really detestable team.

[Gray Fox]

Somebody please think of the(Nikos) children.

[Manc]

At least the Niko household can fall back on a Liverpool title win.

[Dquincy]

I'd take the best mash over the best chips. The watery snot they serve in pie and mash shops is not mash, it's just what people could afford in about 1910.

That's crazy talk. Mash is alright but a bit meh. Plus the outside of it cools down far too soon, so you're always left with cold mash towards the end of the meal.

[Shindig]

Back from the Ant and Dec spectacular. The atmosphere was incredible but I think I would've preferred the bus parade for the mad lads in trees. Standing on the moor waiting for hours is a bit shit. And there's only so many renditions of Freed From Desire a man can take.

[AJ23]

Forest are a really detestable team.

They're doing the whole Atletico Madrid routine. Can't blame them against the mafia elite lot who've controlled football for years.

[Ben]

Forest are brilliant. The last bastion of teams with any semblance of IQ left in the Premier League.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, although it's basically a guerrilla outfit I'm taking it over the 31 year old German playing out from the back model.

[Shindig]

Ah, here's the Burnley-related stat I was after ...

- Fewest league goals conceded in a season: 15, Preston North End 1888–89 (First Division), Chelsea (Premier League, 2004–05)

I want to see that defence in the Premier League.

[Gray Fox]

I don't think we'll ever see a defence as good as that Chelsea one again. Perfect combination of the best players available to the manager who knew how to set them up.

Not a clue how that useless Liverpool lineup stopped them over two legs in the CL either.

[niko_cee]

Was it Cheyrou who scored to end their long home run or was it someone less shite (Alonso?)?

27 fouls or something by Brighton yesterday, I reckon about three of them might have been. People can have time for that if they want, but it's not for me.

[niko_cee]

The stupid Ramadan break also killed all momentum in the game for about 10 minutes after it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The stupid Ramadan break also killed all momentum in the game for about 10 minutes after it.

This is a joke btw, Muslims should fucking get on with it or not play.

[Shindig]

On the contrary, I want it to lead to strategic Muslim signings. Or strategic conversions.

[Ben]

You know Brighton and Brentford are already all over it.

[niko_cee]

Probably. I assume Minteh and Baleba were the likely beneficiaries, maybe Ayari? Didn't help it came just after a long VAR break for the 'penalty'. Felt like the game stopped for about 10 minutes.

It absolutely shouldn't happen. Equity for the lunchtime Muslims.

[Gray Fox]

I cant wait for it to get to the point where a team has a large number of Muslim players and they're assigned the lunch time kick off. Someone should kick off, Klopp style.

[John Arne]

That was proper thick by the Preston attacker. Completely dived, rather than just actually running into him and likely getting a pen.

[Shindig]

I hate Marcus Rashford and everything his advisors tell him he stands for.

[niko_cee]

Marcus Rashford has scored two goals in a game for the first time since 7 January 2017 against Reading.

That's a crazy stat.

[-james-]

A made up one, too

[niko_cee]

I assumed it must be wrong somehow, but don't have the knowledge of him to dispute it.

It refers to FA cup only. I seem the beeb have clarified that. Fake news.

[Danny]

just off the top of my head, he got two against Wales in the World Cup and then a Hattrick against Leipzig a few years ago.

Limiting it to just FA cup games is a bit weird.

[Giggles]

They've done what they set out to do I'd say.

[niko_cee]

A City game isn't half a wind of death on here. Always happens.

[Magic]

Nobody is interested in that brand of football.

[Yevrah]

I fell asleep just as it started, missed it all and not a single fuck was given.

[phonics]

A City game isn't half a wind of death on here. Always happens.

I opened this thread and realised I don't even know what the score was. So I'm presuming City won.

[Gray Fox]

Guardiola ruining what could have been a great cup semi-final lineup by insisting on being there. For the good of the competition they need to not win it.

[niko_cee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football...s/cn4yen2xgrxo

Silly season upon us already.

The bigger story is the journalist's name. How does he style that out?

[Spikey M]

There's a Gillette advert waiting to go with that name.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bit of a remarkable fluff piece, that. Guess Southampton really need to sell and sell high.

[Luke Emia]

I know he’s only 18 and he has obviously got something about him but if he’s 100 million player then football really is about to collapse in on itself.

[niko_cee]

"unsubstantiated reports"

The beeb should be better than that really.

[Waffdon]

I know he’s only 18 and he has obviously got something about him but if he’s 100 million player then football really is about to collapse in on itself.

They don’t actually think they’ll get £100m. It’s just a way of pricing teams out of him and quite right too.

[niko_cee]

Maybe they'll sell him to a wholly owned side hustle for £198.7m.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good idea. Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall now enjoying his last few weeks with an appendage before they hack it off and sell him to said women's team for £100 million.

[phonics]

I do think there is a clear issue in this country with this sort of stuff though. Adam Wharton being the poster boy. The best teams can't buy him because they'd be charged a bajillion pounds and he's unproven and then he signs for Palace for actual market value and within a week he should be signed by one of the good teams for a bajillion pounds + 1 and said teams are accused of not rating British talent.

[thommo]

Gabriel off injured, hamstring looks to have gone.

Arsenal players had about a minute to kick it out while he was down on the ground. Fucked up their chance and were immediately whining as soon as we had the ball, demanding to the ref that we kick it out. Footballers really are braindead.

[AJ23]

United fans still struggling to understand that it’s about team spirit and tactics rather than individuals.

If Elanga went back there, he’d only be ruined. He’s found his perfect fit and environment.

McTominay flying at Napoli. Wan-Bissaka looking good at West Ham. Pereira at Fulham. Henderson at Palace. Antony looking alright at Betis on loan.

But a Gyokeres signing is gonna change everything….. *sigh*

[SvN]

I genuinely have no idea what point you're trying to make.

[Kikó]

No one is saying that.

The team spirit was good yesterday and a bit of quality in front of goal would have been the difference. United are desperate for a goal scorer - I don't think that's a controversial opinion to hold.