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Thread: News of the day

  1. #16651
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    So are we saying she's actually dead/quadraspaz on a life glug?
    It's increasingly looking like she might be, you know.

  2. #16652
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    If she had something actually wrong with her they would have wasted no time in mobilising the national sentimental/weirdo streak to be 'raising awareness' and all that. She probably just looks like puffy-faced shit after whatever operation she's supposed to have had.

  3. #16653
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My spies tell me (think this is widely suggested anyway) that she had a hysterectomy against the wishes of The Firm and so they are nobbling her in the media as revenge.

  4. #16654
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Such nice people.

  5. #16655
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    She had the kids though, so why would The Firm care about that?

  6. #16656
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    My spies tell me (think this is widely suggested anyway) that she had a hysterectomy against the wishes of The Firm and so they are nobbling her in the media as revenge.
    She was in hospital for quite a while wasn't she, nearly 2 weeks? Very unusual length of stay for a hysterectomy.

  7. #16657
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Dunno. Maybe three isn't up to scratch as a return from a lower-order brooding mare.

  8. #16658
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    This 'The Firm' business only makes me hate them all the more.

    Also, nobbling your only saleable asset sounds like the kind of thing the 8 and a half brain cells involved in the entire institution would come up with, so sign me up to the theory. As an aside, surely some sort of 'women's health issue' is the most likely story isn't it, be it hysterectomy or something more severe/invasive, something 'private'. if it was appendicitis they would have said as much.

  9. #16659
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    They probably just should have said that. Job done.

  10. #16660
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They'd have fucked it up when it turned out she had it out when she was 15 or something and some local rag/nutter remembered.

  11. #16661
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They're running out of genetic material and good news stories. Next big set pieces are when Charles carks / William gets crowned, then you're running dry of sexy material until Princess Charlotte grows knockers and/or the boys start dating, which, by the way, is going to be a disaster. I was reading the other day about how when Charlie Woods (15 year old son of Tiger) plays in minor/junior golf tournaments, local women take their daughters out of school and do them up in the mirror before taking them to watch these very minor local golf events in the hope that Charlie 'notices' them. George and Louis are going to be that x1000.

  12. #16662
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    The Twitter consensus I've seen is he's cheated on her with someone who looks like a discount bin version of her. Also may have knocked this other one up. This would now be a very bad time for all of this to come out because we need him to not look like a cunt when he's about to be King.

  13. #16663
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is he? Charles should have atleast another 20 years in the tank.

  14. #16664
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    The Twitter consensus I've seen is he's cheated on her with someone who looks like a discount bin version of her. Also may have knocked this other one up. This would now be a very bad time for all of this to come out because we need him to not look like a cunt when he's about to be King.
    He's supposedly been shagging her for ages now. But it's the knocking her up that's the problem apparently cause she's keeping it.

  15. #16665
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    He's supposedly been shagging her for ages now. But it's the knocking her up that's the problem apparently cause she's keeping it.
    Surely they've enough pull to make sure she doesn't.

  16. #16666
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Henry VIII just called his Henry Fitzroy and made him Duke of Richmond, now that's called kingship.

  17. #16667
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Do they usually start with asking nicely before they get to the car crash in the tunnel?

  18. #16668
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Surely they've enough pull to make sure she doesn't.
    I dunno. She's proper aristo as well.

  19. #16669
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    someone who looks like a discount bin version of her
    Think this is harsh. She's got a definite air of filth to her.

  20. #16670
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Think this is harsh. She's got a definite air of filth to her.
    Toggle Spoiler


    Netflix is gonna love this shit.
    Last edited by Gray Fox; 15-03-2024 at 07:49 PM.

  21. #16671
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    These 'theories' you lot are spouting are wild. Bit enjoyable.

  22. #16672
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I dunno. She's proper aristo as well.
    They'd surely be able to lift her and do whatever, they've savage pull.

  23. #16673
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The Prince of Wales has impregnated the balloon and it's laying eggs.

  24. #16674

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    Continuing the theme of Kate Middleton, someone just put this in one of my (slightly unhinged) WhatsApp groups:

    King Charles' cancer diagnosis raised the spectre of succession. William has had a mistress for about 8 years - Rose Hanbury. He wants her to be his queen.

    Recently, Thomas Kingston, a royal by marriage and old friend of Kate Middleton's, recently committed suicide. This, and William's wish to divorce Kate, drove her to a nervous breakdown.

    Ask yourself why Charles' cancer diagnosis was made public but not whatever Kate was in hospital for. Because what's worse than having cancer? How about the social stigma - the royal social stigma - of having a nervous breakdown?

    And now Kate is refusing to co-operate with the palace. Hence the photo.
    It’s from Reddit but links from mobile don’t want to work here.

  25. #16675
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The difficulty I'm having with all these rumours, delightful as they are, is, if there isn't really any proper smoking gun evidence of this affair, I find it very difficult to believe that anything like that could really be kept even plausibly deniable in the modern age. Maybe the evidence is there though and I just have no interest in it.

  26. #16676
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If Bill thinks he's going to get away with divorcing Kate and replacing her with some slapper he's delusional, that would probably end the monarchy.

  27. #16677
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fingers crossed.

  28. #16678
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If Bill thinks he's going to get away with divorcing Kate and replacing her with some slapper he's delusional, that would probably end the monarchy.
    Like father, like son.

  29. #16679
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    I think what's abundantly clear if it wasn't before was just how much Liz held this shitshow together. Only 18 months dead, it's all unravelling and Jim's bang on, if they become like any other dysfunctional celebrity family then it'll be game over.

  30. #16680
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I think old people dying will see the end of them anyway. Nobody born after 1980 gives a fuck about them.

    Turn the Palices and sprawling estates into HMO's, jobs a goodun.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 17-03-2024 at 02:16 PM.

  31. #16681
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Like father, like son.
    Slightly different as Diana was an obvious bad match and a pain in the arse, whereas I can't think of anything at all for anyone to hold against Kate.

  32. #16682
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    According to Twitter, which has never been wrong, the BBC have been told to expect an imminent "Royal Announcement". Good? Bad? Who knows. Just keep everything crossed for a bank holiday lads.

  33. #16683
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    The difficulty I'm having with all these rumours, delightful as they are, is, if there isn't really any proper smoking gun evidence of this affair, I find it very difficult to believe that anything like that could really be kept even plausibly deniable in the modern age. Maybe the evidence is there though and I just have no interest in it.
    The logistics of it are the issue aren't they. Where is the most recognisable man in the country, who can't go anywhere any time without a load of security, conducting this eight year affair? In his palace where loads of people work?

  34. #16684
    I used to be funny.
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    Surely the easiest scenario is that they couldn't get a Mother's Day (tm) photo out to the press on time so they cobbled one together.

  35. #16685
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I suspect she has a more significant and longer term condition than has been let on and needed fairly major surgery.

    Something like Crohn's and the admission was for a resection.

  36. #16686

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    Boring you lot.

    No one would have believed they’d dare kill Diana until they did either.

  37. #16687
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Maybe she's had a whipple.

  38. #16688
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I suspect she has a more significant and longer term condition than has been let on and needed fairly major surgery.

    Something like Crohn's and the admission was for a resection.
    Somebody I work with knows somebody whose son is at Eton (we were lolling as well), and the word round there was colostomy bag-related.

  39. #16689

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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-68601354

    The UK's electricity network needs almost a further £60bn of upgrades to hit government decarbonisation targets by 2035, according to a new plan.

    About 4,000 miles of undersea cables and 1,000 miles of onshore power lines are needed, said the National Grid's Electricity Systems Operator (ESO).

    The investment would add between £20 to £30 a year to customer bills, it said.
    The cheek.

  40. #16690
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  41. #16691
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    Some 86 people have been arrested in Vietnam in one of the largest ever cases of embezzlement and bribery (42,000 bond investors robbed). Head of VTP Real Estate and SCB bank accused of somehow managing to fleece 304,000,000,000,000 (304tn dong), or $12bn USD. That's 6% of Vietnam's GDP
    This case is coming to and end, and the prosecution have recommended the death penalty be handed down to the lady who ran all of this.

    Interestingly, the international coverage of this has been strangely quiet. $12bn is fucking huge - more than FTX.

  42. #16692
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I see Bibi is ratcheting up the anti-US rhetoric, smacks of someone who thinks he might end up in The Hague.

  43. #16693
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    It's all just a show to continue the killings. We've had 6 months of the same bullshit comments back and forth.

  44. #16694
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Netanyahu has been a massive GOP guy because they love think him being a massive criminal is patriotism.

  45. #16695
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68479491

    Here we go.

    They should just put me and Baz in charge of the country.

  46. #16696
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Keep those e-victories rolling

  47. #16697

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    Yeah I'm having this one as well.

    There's going to be a massive epidemic amongst today's youth.

  48. #16698
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Who’d have guessed inhaling steam laced with nicotine wasn’t good for you.
    I'm a twit

  49. #16699
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Vaping has always baffled me - isn't it just smoking without the good stuff? - but then I think because I'm the ultimate in calmness/boringness as a personality type, I've always misunderstood how many people are rolling around who just can't live without some kind of stimulus fix every five seconds.

  50. #16700
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Wasn't it meant to more be the good stuff without the bad stuff, or perhaps, with different bad stuff?

    It is fucking weird and probably just another symptom of the infantlisation of society.

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