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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #10151
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It was a hangover from my mother's own parents who were always massive post-war austerity people and my mum assumed it should always be like that. I think the worst example was we were only allowed to have chocolate-related breakfast cereal (usually Coco Pops, I guess) once a week on Saturdays, the rest of the time it had to be plain.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 01-12-2023 at 04:10 PM.

  2. #10152
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Tbf the cereal thing just sounds sensible from a health perspective.

  3. #10153
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There you go you see, Boydy knows a good solid protestant upbringing.

  4. #10154
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Nah, it's more learning from your own parents' mistakes. I was never a big cereal fan but I was definitely allowed far too much sugar as a child.

  5. #10155
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    The elf is on the TUI advert so it's coming for you non-elfers. I'd deffo just tell my kid it's a load of shit I think, I remember my step dad drunkenly telling me Father Christmas wasn't coming because I was a pillock one Christmas Eve when I was about 7.
    We’ve told our oldest that the elves only visit naughty children, as they think they can get the kids blamed because they’re already naughty. Told her that we can’t tell children with an elf about this, because it’s very rude to tell someone they’re naughty. Thanked her for being so good and all sorted.

  6. #10156
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Finally happened. Walking the dog, three lads approach me. Prob 16-18. Asked for a light for their joint. No worries lads I remember those days. Handed the lighter back with a lovely "have a good evening old fella"

    Am decrepit lads.

  7. #10157

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    Very pleasant lads. Nice to see.

  8. #10158
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just picked up my first doner in 4 months and I had accidentally hit Salad on the options

  9. #10159
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I forgot about your salad psychosis

  10. #10160
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Into the bin.

  11. #10161
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The Jorja [what sort of fucking spelling is that?] Smith version of Stay Another Day needs to get in the bin.

  12. #10162
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Attended my first kid's birthday party. It was ok, but I put my suede jacket in my youngest's stroller while I was there and then when I got it at the end I found a massive tear on it. Seething.

  13. #10163
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Once I'm out of the train station, my office is accessed via a short 5 minute walk through a Westfield Shopping Centre. This is one of London/the world's finest examples of hyper-consumerism. Set in an area of great deprivation which was revived by locating the Olympic Village there and selling off all the land and buildings, mainly to Arab entities. The pockets of poverty remain though and as a result, the centre itself is in the heartlands of ethnic communities and youth crime is rampant.

    There rests the context. The scene that played out recently was in relation to the security measures they have had to take as a result of the aforementioned. Namely:



    So they've got airport security set up on a bridge leading up to the shopping centre and they (being a group of private security guards backed up usually by a police presence (7 at last count!)) randomly select people to go through it. As you can tell from that picture, it's about as random as having anus pain after being arsefucked by Ron Jeremy.

    I don't actually take the bridge route normally but had to recently and, coming from a football trip away, I was in sports gear and looked like a prime Anjem Choudary so straight into the queue for the metal detector I went.

    These are sensitive times in Don-towers with 2 months of daily media consumed about the discrimination and predjudice faced by my Muslim brothers in Palestine and I'd just finished reading Between the World and Me so I kicked up a bit of drama which also involved being given this treatment when I recorded a video of the shambles it all was:

    https://phnat.org/2017/07/12/westfie...rity_concerns/

    I feel like this could be my Montgomery Bus Boycott so stay tuned as I wage my campaign against these cunts and take them down.

  14. #10164
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wear your 3-piece suit next time.

  15. #10165
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My colleague ran the security room at the 2012 Olympics, and as part of putting together a local risk register for it he went to meet some ex/out-going local copper. The bloke suggested that they meet outside that shopping centre, and proceeded to wax about all the trouble that the local blacks cause, pointing to a crowd of them approaching the centre and telling him to set his watch. Shortly afterwards this happened, and my man ended up giving the victim a heart massage whilst his cronies stood around calling him a pussy. He didn't even have to go to court because they had it all on five million security cameras.

  16. #10166
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Couldn't remember how to spell harridon, so googled it on my work computer, but got it so badly wrong it looks more like I was trying to search for "hard on", now our IT department are going to think I'm dyslexic and like looking at willies at work

  17. #10167
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Couldn't remember how to spell harridon, so googled it on my work computer, but got it so badly wrong it looks more like I was trying to search for "hard on", now our IT department are going to think I'm dyslexic and like looking at willies at work
    Do you mean "harridan"?

  18. #10168
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Do you mean "harridan"?
    Fuck

  19. #10169
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Sold a guitar on ebay, at the last second someone snipes in and wins. No payment straight away so I think here we go, lo and behold they've now messaged me about how they can't pay right away due to it being Christmas and asked a load of questions about it they should have asked prior to bidding

  20. #10170
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    You don't have much luck with eBay do you.

    What's the process when this happens? I've always wondered. Do you get to offer it to the 2nd highest bidder now or do you have to give the idiot a certain time?

  21. #10171
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Afaik you have to either wait it out or cancel their bid and relist. Can’t opt for the second highest bidder.
    I'm a twit

  22. #10172
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    They've now changed their tune and said they can pay immediately if I can guarantee returns which makes me even more suspicious, sounds like they just want the option of looking at it and sending it back.

  23. #10173
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    How’s their feedback?
    I'm a twit

  24. #10174
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    100% to be fair although suspiciously some of it is word for word the same from different accounts.

    What is concerning me is their original questions were stuff like 'do you have proof of purchase? Do you know when and where it was bought?' Which should have been asked prior to bidding as far as I'm concerned it's a 1990 model guitar of course that was never a given (the answer to both is no).

  25. #10175
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Can you just relist it and block them some way?

  26. #10176
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Might have to, they reckon they are going to pay now so who knows.

  27. #10177
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    They've now changed their tune and said they can pay immediately if I can guarantee returns which makes me even more suspicious, sounds like they just want the option of looking at it and sending it back.
    They're going to return it for a refund and you're never going to receive it back.

  28. #10178
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    They're going to return it for a refund and you're never going to receive it back.
    If he sends it to them now after all that then he probably deserves it.

  29. #10179
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I would 100% not deal with that person.

  30. #10180
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Maybe try Reverb. Don't know if they are any better.

  31. #10181
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just shove it on Marketplace.

  32. #10182
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Just shove it on Marketplace.
    He's already dealing with a Karen.

  33. #10183

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    I've only used it a few times but I've never had an issue with Marketplace. It helps that you can look at their profile and figure them out in seconds.

  34. #10184
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    What is the guitar, out of interest?

  35. #10185
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It's a stringed instrument, usually wooden.

  36. #10186
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    What is the guitar, out of interest?
    1990 Fender Stratocaster Made in Japan.

  37. #10187
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  38. #10188
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    1990 Fender Stratocaster Made in Japan.
    Nice. I recently bought an American Vintage 61 Strat. It's sexy.

    One of my missions is to buy a guitar from the same year as I was born.

  39. #10189
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    My old fella has a Telecaster at home, I don't know much about them but 1952 so presumably US made.

  40. #10190
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I have a Bluey and a Frozen one.

  41. #10191
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I have a Bluey and a Frozen one.
    A wank would cure that.

  42. #10192
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  43. #10193
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    My old fella has a Telecaster at home, I don't know much about them but 1952 so presumably US made.
    If you really want to know then you can look up the serial number here: https://serialnumberlookup.fender.com/lookup/

    If it's a 52 original and in good nick then it'll be worth shitloads. Like in the £50k region https://guitarpoint.de/product/1952-...aster-blond-2/

  44. #10194
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's well minded but he used it for the best end of 50 years and I remember him getting new frets on it at least once so it's probably not worth a big pile.

  45. #10195
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's made me sad rather than angry, but I've just nipped to the Co-Op for some bread and the guy ahead of me in the queue was buying £56 worth of scratch cards. He explained to the woman behind the till that he's started doing takeaway deliveries for the Chinese next door. £50 for 4 hours work (plus tips) and he uses the money to "make his millions". He lost all of last weeks (£200) at the casino, so this week he's trying this.

    She laughed and wished him well, but I think this might be one of the sadest things I've ever heard. He's selling it as a cooky weirdo having fun, but this is just a man at the bottom of a deep, deep hole, isn't it?

  46. #10196
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I'd be more 'fucked off' about having to stand there whilst he tells that woman his life story.

  47. #10197
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's made me sad rather than angry, but I've just nipped to the Co-Op for some bread and the guy ahead of me in the queue was buying £56 worth of scratch cards. He explained to the woman behind the till that he's started doing takeaway deliveries for the Chinese next door. £50 for 4 hours work (plus tips) and he uses the money to "make his millions". He lost all of last weeks (£200) at the casino, so this week he's trying this.

    She laughed and wished him well, but I think this might be one of the sadest things I've ever heard. He's selling it as a cooky weirdo having fun, but this is just a man at the bottom of a deep, deep hole, isn't it?
    I saw a guy go all in at a blackjack table in Atlantic City a few years ago. He won but after he stated that he was shitting bricks because that was his rent money for the month.

    I imagine he's either dead or living on the streets now.

  48. #10198
    I used to be funny.
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    It's the way those life stories get blurted out without any provocation that gets me.

  49. #10199
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I was in the WH Smith at the airport recently, trying to buy some throat sweets, and an African man ahead of me in the queue bought £115 worth of lottery tickets. Slowly, methodically, one at a time. I wanted to die on a number of levels.

  50. #10200
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You're probably on TikTok somewhere being mocked as BaldWhiteHeathrowBloke, because if you wanted to troll someone at an airport, that's a genius strategy.

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