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Thread: What shall your weekend bring?

  1. #3701
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    it helped that the other best man did a far more joke heavy, cheeky speech, and he absolutely nailed his comic timing, which sorta diluted the wussy sincerity of mine.

  2. #3702
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    igor that was crap.

  3. #3703
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    "The other best man"

  4. #3704
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    "The other best man"
    I was made best man cus i kinda had to be with our frankly excessively close friendship, but i told him to make the other guy co-best man cus they're also really good friends and it woulda felt like a bit of a snub to him. turns out I fucked up cus he told me something like "I really didn't wanna fucking do it, but no matter how many subtle hints I dropped he still insisted", oops, sorry mate

  5. #3705
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    How much were you hoping someone would ask to see it?

  6. #3706
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Yeah, that was poor but I've seen worse.

  7. #3707
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Bet he didn't even fuck Luna, ffs.

  8. #3708
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The one chance you get to tell zany, wacky, out-there stories to a captive audience and that happens.

  9. #3709
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, when it's in front of mostly family, you can't pull that off.

  10. #3710
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I mean imagine posting your best man speech on here ffs

  11. #3711
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I just watched Aftersun which was a terrible choice for a comedown Monday.

  12. #3712
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Are those speeches mandatory in a wedding? If so, I am glad I never had one.

  13. #3713
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Nah, when it's in front of mostly family, you can't pull that off.
    Of course you can, and any decent wedding wouldn't be mostly family.

  14. #3714
    I used to be funny.
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    This is just me talking me talking from personal experience. My big boomer family dwarfs every one that's married in.

  15. #3715
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I'm heading up to Northumberland for a few days. Base is in Alnwick. Recommendations welcome.

  16. #3716
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I have a serbian wedding party this evening. Ive never been to a wedding in thr balkans before. As far as weddings goes, please see below a ist of the countries who i believe throw the most extravagant and and most exciting wedding events.

    Indian
    Nigeria
    Everybody else

  17. #3717
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Yeah Indian weddings are pretty impressive.
    I'm a twit

  18. #3718
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm at a Portuguese wedding today. Can confirm Catholic weddings aren't extravagant.

  19. #3719
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    I have a serbian wedding party this evening. Ive never been to a wedding in thr balkans before. As far as weddings goes, please see below a ist of the countries who i believe throw the most extravagant and and most exciting wedding events.

    Indian
    Nigeria
    Everybody else
    Was good. The language barrier wasnt difficult to deal with. All the people were friendly. All the women are long and slim, and they all want to dance with you.

  20. #3720
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I'm at a Portuguese wedding today. Can confirm Catholic weddings aren't extravagant.
    Italian weddings have 20 courses at the reception.

  21. #3721
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I went to the theatre to watch The Lion King. Its was sensational. I had no idea it would have been that phenomenal.

  22. #3722
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm going out with some of the School Dads tonight and my wife has just given me warning that one of them has split up with their wife. His Mrs was telling the mums that they have been in an "unromantic phase" (eugh) for years and they're now just living together as friends. As a friend, he now babysits while she goes out and gets routed by the FIVE men she is currently dating, and they're far better off now because they talk alot more now. Including about all the lovely sex she's having.

    I'm absolutely buzzing for tonight now. Is he a cuck getting off to this shit? Or is he just bottling everything up and he's going to be the next Incel on news for going full Benoit?

    Do pubs sell popcorn?
    Last edited by Spikey M; 29-09-2023 at 04:24 PM.

  23. #3723
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Going out with School Dads?

  24. #3724
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Hes definitely a Benoit.

    Got a date coming round tomorrow spending the night (its a femboy, sincere. yes I will be eating and ploughing anus). Gone wild and ordered wine from Waitrose. Even paid for a cleaner to dig the place out. Full swag.

  25. #3725
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?

  26. #3726
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Its clearly gonna end with all the dads going back to theirs to run a train on her while he weeps and wanks in the corner.

  27. #3727
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?
    Of course he will the dickhead. There should be some means where he could trade his existence to someone that's dying.

  28. #3728
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?
    I don't think femboys can get pregnant mate.

  29. #3729
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It sounds like DS is going to try and test that theory tonight.

  30. #3730
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Going out with School Dads?
    The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.

  31. #3731
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    One of my school dads has a prosthetic leg.
    I'm a twit

  32. #3732
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.
    It's certainly less embarrassing than being a 30-something virgin.

  33. #3733
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's not embarrassing. Who cares?

  34. #3734
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's certainly less embarrassing than being a 30-something virgin.
    Out here minding my business and I end up catching strays

  35. #3735
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Lads I'll literally get yas a hooker each mon now

  36. #3736
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Lads, I didn't want to start Friday night toxicity, I'm just intrigued to find out more as it sounds like the sort of gammon concept that would be useful to be familiarised with in case someone mentions it IRL and I have to act unfazed by it.

  37. #3737
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.
    yeah having mates what a soy boy

  38. #3738
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Neither a cuck or a Benoit I'm afraid lads. She caught him cheating and this public performance is just a desperate effort on her part to save face.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 30-09-2023 at 06:54 AM.

  39. #3739
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Sounds like a cuck masquerading as an alpha male 'yeah I got caught railing some hot model lads so she is letting all of the fat lads at her slimming world club have a ride'.

  40. #3740
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Date cried wolf an hour before coming round ,friend in hospital apparently. So it's either real or a flake.

    I might just get a hooker.

  41. #3741
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Some bloke who got sacked from work because one woman didn’t like him has organised a ‘work night out’ but insisted that none of the women in the team were invited, so 7 of us blokes are out round Liverpool tomorrow evening. It was arranged in September and started out as a secret but as it’s got closer to the big day, we basically just openly talk about it in front of everyone who isn’t invited.

    I’m not expecting great things tbh but will be nice to see the sacked guy and my mate who retired a while back, and always nice to have a few drinks and slag off anyone who isn’t there.
    I'm a twit

  42. #3742
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Am I an anomaly for never having done coke? Or any drug, for that matter.
    I'm a twit

  43. #3743

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    Probably.

  44. #3744
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I am also an anomaly then.

  45. #3745
    I used to be funny.
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    I've never bothered.

  46. #3746
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Once you're not a walking heart attack, we'll book you in for a night with Taz and Waff.

    @Ho

  47. #3747
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Am I an anomaly for never having done coke? Or any drug, for that matter.
    It's absolutely rife these days.

  48. #3748
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Nasty shit really, wouldn't recommend but then I could always handle my drink and was never short of libido.

  49. #3749
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    It's absolutely rife these days.
    I'm a bit naive to this kind of stuff. How rife are we talking? I could understand the high-flying, ultra successful types doing coke but is little old Ethel down the road doing lines as well? Genuinely interested.

  50. #3750
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Everyone has been on coke since the mid 2000's.

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