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Thread: News of the day

  1. #14001
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Just leave them to it. He "enjoys "dark" and "extreme" tourism" so I'm sure he's having the time of his life

  2. #14002
    I used to be funny.
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    Ah, yes. 'Lord' Miles Routledge.

  3. #14003
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    His original trip there was pretty lol, but ever since he has revealed himself to be the biggest dweeb imaginable, so they should just leave him.

  4. #14004
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I doubt having an armed guard at a school would move the statistical likelihood of your child being killed in a school massacre very much, in the grand scheme of things, and would in all probability displace whatever tiny marginal gain you'd have on that front with an equally tiny chance of the guard going postal or accidentally shooting them.

    You are right that there is probably no answer, but that line of thinking applies to more guns being the answer as well. It isn't.

    Well, apart from actual gun control, that is the answer, but isn't on the table, so yeah, thoughts and prayers and RIP in pieces and all that.
    This is the truth. No such thing as an armed force that has a zero percent accidental shooting rate. I mean, when I went through basic we did the following:

    8 hours of instruction prior to even touching our assigned weapon. And we always had to get and return them to the armory.

    2 days of learning to carry them without pointing them at anyone and constantly cleaning the fucking things.

    First time we took ammo out to go to the range someone nearly got shot. Stored at a completely different location and every bullet needed to be account led for.

    Pretty much everyone who went through basic that I’ve ever met can tell a story of someone almost getting shot at a range.

    So you are introducing some level of accidental shooting risk. How many schools are there in the US? 30,000? 300,000? It is a big country. Say 1% rate of accidental shooting in a system of 30,000 schools. That’s 3,000 shootings a year to stop 337 since the 90’s?

  5. #14005
    I used to be funny.
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    We're going about this all wrong. How much ammo did she waste on the door? More doors, more lives saved.

  6. #14006
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I'm all for hanging this twat who shot that little girl in Liverpool, but, unless I'm missing something, how is it murder? Is the idea that he was trying to kill whoever happened to be behind the door?

  7. #14007
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I'm all for hanging this twat who shot that little girl in Liverpool, but, unless I'm missing something, how is it murder? Is the idea that he was trying to kill whoever happened to be behind the door?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_in_English_law

    ...there are certain circumstances where a death will be treated as murder even if the defendant did not wish to kill the actual victim. This is called "transferred malice", and arises in two common cases:

    The defendant intended serious harm to one or more persons, but an unintended other person dies as a result;
    Appears so, yeah.

  8. #14008
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    There you go then. Hang him.

  9. #14009
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    42 years mandatory is a pretty epic sentence. Can't have been many who have got more short of a whole-life order. If you have sufficient faith in the system to deliver justice then he should probably just be minced now.

  10. #14010
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Different jurisdiction obvs (juuu-rrrris-DIC-shun) but isn't that how Oscar Pistorius went down on appeal?

  11. #14011
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Obviously it's terrible and it's a good sentence for a change, but it's pretty much the ultimate cautionary tale in not being a nosy fucker and wandering out of your house when something is kicking off.

  12. #14012
    I used to be funny.
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    This story just runs and runs.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-65171455

    The lawsuit claims the same boy "strangled and choked" his kindergarten teacher last year.
    Surely a grown adult can overpower a 6 year old?

    It also alleges the boy would chase other students with a belt to whip them and swear at staff.
    Also, the parents not naming the disability is a bit suss. Unless they've never got a concrete diagnosis.

  13. #14013
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    She should just be thankful she doesn't have these little bastards to deal with.

    on one occasion he was attacked by three male squirrels which he had cornered in an attic


    she thinks they are going to come through the walls. The scratching sound is terrible.
    Sounds like Alien(s).

  14. #14014
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The picture

  15. #14015
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Just get a cat, spastic

  16. #14016
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    https://www.theguardian.com/society/...doctors-strike

    Someone needs to tell those so called experts they need to be reading more r/gimpfest to educate themselves.

  17. #14017
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Perhaps they'll consider cancelling their lucrative non-urgent private work to get these ticking timebomb NHS patients sorted.

  18. #14018
    I used to be funny.
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...ester-65220527

    I really, really hope there's footage of this.

  19. #14019
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    A representative said staff were "disappointed that the last 10 minutes of the show needed to be cancelled due to disruptive customers refusing to stay seated and spoiling the performance for others".
    You could have finished after you kicked them out you fannies.

  20. #14020
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Once again British drinking culture spirals out of control.

  21. #14021
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The Bodyguard musical [fronted by a former Pussycat Doll and someone out of Hollyoaks] sounds like the kind of thing that should be being shouted out of theatres, so sounds like a win for British Drinking Culture to me.

  22. #14022
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    In the least surprising news ever, the Dalai Lama is a nonce. Here he is asking a boy to suck his tongue.

    Last edited by John Arne; 10-04-2023 at 01:24 PM.

  23. #14023
    I used to be funny.
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    Why applaud that?

  24. #14024
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    They claim he's always supposed to just be a reincarnation of the previous one too, right? If we take them at their word there then centuries of potentially unchecked noncing could have been going on.

  25. #14025
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I pretty much just assume every religious leader is a prolific nonce anyway.

  26. #14026
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Tibet was like sweet and sour Afghanistan before the Chinese took it back over, so I've never known why divvy Westerners fall over themselves to romanticise it.

  27. #14027
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    Would the Dalai Lama be considered too old to be castrated?

  28. #14028
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Calling it now there's something dodgy about this allotment destruction story and resulting gofundme.

  29. #14029
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It seemed very strange to me that anyone would bother to do that.

  30. #14030
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Holy fuck, this has knocked me for six.

    The video is on Reddit but ehhh I wouldn’t watch it if you’re normal.
    I'm a twit

  31. #14031
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Extra affiliate link to follow.

  32. #14032
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Buy Baz on Amazon. And eBay.

  33. #14033
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    One of my sister's friends got both of her legs chopped by a boat when she was swimming behind it and someone decided to start the boat without checking. She was quite the looker, too. Shame.

  34. #14034
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We went water skiing when I was 9 or 10 and the rope nearly slipped off the pole, so my friends mum grabbed it in a panic just as the boat sped up and the rope pulled tight. Only lost a finger and she wasn't much of a looker, but I like to be involved.

  35. #14035
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    A colleague lost the tip of his finger to an overly excited dog.

    We got him this t shirt for his birthday.

    https://www.amazon.com/High-four-fin.../dp/B08M7CPNHH

    His girlfriend was fizzing.

  36. #14036
    I used to be funny.
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    My dad was a minute away from collapsing onto an butcher bandsaw. Would've eviscerated him but thankfully he collapsed into the arms of a fat bloke. Amazed he came out of that profession with a full set of fingers.

  37. #14037
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    When I was at school a kid caught his finger in the classroom door.

    Teachers put the finger in ice and tried to save it but it was too late.

  38. #14038
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Imagine going on holiday, Caribbean, booze cruise, loving life drinking rum, falling in, getting back onboard thinking man thank the lord I am safe, and then trying to stand up and your foot is just gone. I can’t even imagine those levels of regret.
    I'm a twit

  39. #14039
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    I dropped an electric sander before, after seeing a man try to get on a boat it seems I’m lucky to be alive!

  40. #14040
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  41. #14041

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    Some Indian politician has been assassinated at point blank range, on live TV. I’m sure Twitter has the footage.

  42. #14042
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Some Indian politician has been assassinated at point blank range, on live TV. I’m sure Twitter has the footage.
    Yep.

    Toggle Spoiler
    I'm a twit

  43. #14043
    I used to be funny.
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    Okay, that was thorough.

  44. #14044
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Security fellas earning their money there.

  45. #14045
    Senior Member
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    This one might break the culture wars...

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-65322821

  46. #14046
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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  47. #14047
    I used to be funny.
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    They must be a nation of jumpy twats.

  48. #14048
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Why don't they arm cheerleaders

  49. #14049
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world...4ZU?li=AAnZ9Ug

    Sounds like someone worth investing in

  50. #14050
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    "rapid unscheduled disassembly"


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