One of thesethings is not like the otheris clearly a massive tosser:
One of thesethings is not like the otheris clearly a massive tosser:
I'm a twit
Mid-life crisis. Get a hair transplant.Originally Posted by Spikey M
Watch him quit after one day of 'digging up roads' because his wrist hurts.
Cries off when the 'lads' find his Faceparty and pin it up all round the site office.
Oil jobs hard to come by these days as basically job freezes all over the shop.
If you can hack it, the opito scheme to become a technician would get you into an offshore rotation as a technician - but unsure how that compares with just doing a trade apprenticeship. The guys where I work are 3/4, 3/5 and seems to be basically alternating day shift/nightshift.
If you’re handy with a spanner and good at turning valves it’s not a bad way to earn a living. Although you need to be able to withstand some brutal weather.
One of the smartest people (first class out of Cambridge eccentrics, consultant who would just derive equations for calculations himself) I’ve ever met was pestering management about going offshore to be a technician for a while until they told him to wake up. He’d have been more qualified than the person in charge of the whole rig. Some of the ones who will have been doing in 15+ years will be clearing £100k I’d bet, to work half the year.
Deal. When do I start?
Aren't you basically a flouncey academic?
I am.
TTH may sneer, but the best job I ever had was an agency job for the summer while I was at Uni. It consisted of putting shit on, and taking shit off lorries. When there were no lorries, we smashed wooden pallets up and chucked them in a skip. What times they were. £6.30 an hour, granted, but still
They'll not find a hard hat in your size.
I'll take an egg cup.
What do you enjoy doing?
Nothing that would translate to a job.
new job is cool. spent the entire day doing little reports and searches of our database looking for potential prospects to invite to an event, and for some reason I found it really fun. sorta like player search on FM except looking for high previous donation amounts and general engagement/compatibility with the charity rather than low release clauses and suitable attributes and shit.
if only I had obafemi martins to guide me in my professional searches like I do for Livorno's player recruitment.
Nope, I'm not seeing it. Which one is 'clearly' a massive tosser?One of thesethings is not like the otheris clearly a massive tosser:
I'm reckon it's the Dame.
The one who provided a mock painting for his profile photo.
I'm a twit
I assumed it was the Dame.
whoa now blasphemy!! She’s a goddess in the public health world.
Literally everything anyone does in the sector is because of THE DAME CAROL BLACK REVIEW.
I'm a twit
Not convinced. A bit dim maybe, as those types invariably are, but harmless I would have thought.
I'm not convinced that's not actually Pep Guardiola.
Well I look forward to finding out, during the 9 - 5 Microsoft Teams boreathon.
Events that long need to be in person. Guarantee I’ll spend most of it on my phone scrolling Reddit.
I'm a twit
Hang in there Spikey. I was a few moments away from handing in my notice today, but remembered I now have a mortgage. Grim.
Obviously, I just wanted to take enjoyment from you not being able to do those things whilst you learn your new career lol.
I'm a twit
Spending time with my children more than 2 days a week is one of those things.
If only Mellin had made us all rich.
It's Rafa Benitez rebranding himself as Pep Guardiola.
Facht.
It's very rare nowadays that you meet a man and he doesn't look like that Danny Ahmed picture. Most men look very like him - even the ones with hair, when they wear hats.
I could tell you every single one of his political opinions off that picture.
At the weekend I got a load of vaccinations which are recommended for South America. Tetanus, dyptheria and the other one, yellow fever, typhoid fever, hep A, you name it I had it pumped into me. There also seems to be a requirement for Bolivia that you have a yellow fever vax especially if you come in from Peru, as we are doing. I then emailed the MD asking him to confirm that these could be expensed. He came back and confirmed that they could. Fine. Only problem is that I was also stupid enough to copy in the reigonal manager, who I'm travelling with. 78 years old, this guy has been visiting the region for decades and knows it inside out. He replies with the following:
Cheers mate.Which country is requiring vaccinations I have never had any.
I suppose it is better the precaution rather than the cure.
They're probs lolling you off as a soft shite as we speak.
My job seems to be just asking other people for stuff.
I'm a twit
Been rotad into two different jobs at the same time from the start of March
Honestly, you haven't experienced incompetence until you've dealt with medical staffing in hospitals.
Do some overtime and get quadruple pay.
I can almost guarantee that rather than paying me for both they'll play me for neither.
absolutely love that both CRMs I've used at the two ~£50m turnover charities I've now worked for are about a decade behind the functionality of the one I used for the tiny 3 person business i worked for in 2015. it's practically green text on a black screen.
before I joined the sector I had the usual assumption of charities spunking money on bollocks they shouldn't, but the reality is that there's a constant paranoia about optics, and it means that so many stupid penny pinching decisions that will cost money in efficiency in the long term get made, cus they're scared Private Eye are gonna run an exposé about spending donations on literally anything except the actual work on the ground.
My spot ran a major software upgrade on a key program last week and it's basically been unusable since
Try having the absolute balls-out Salesforce licence and it being so locked down and restrictive and badly designed that it's worse than using a notepad document.
Try working for the public sector. I do think it's not so much waiting for new software to be adopted but rather waiting for the the current utilised software to become so outdated that the provider has to make the decision to stop continuing it. The productivity savings would be so great they'd probably cause problems in terms of the loss of jobs.
We’re pushing updates Thursday night so I expect everything to be broke on Friday.
Do you work with grants?
My job is basically get big pots of free money and decide how much providers will get, once they've told me how they plan to spend it. The latest grant is massive and there's so much underspend it's embarassing so we (me and 2 providers) had a meeting on how to spend it before the government take it back in April. £10k worth of Love2shop vouchers was legitimately mentioned, along with buying a minibus, new office furniture for the entire teams, pre-paying next years rent, it's mad.I'm just like sure sure, get it spent, cos I know the procedure for reporting spend is easy but I've no clue how to return unspent money.
I'm a twit
And therein lies a nation in ruins.
SalesForce is absolutely dogshit. I commiserate anyone having to use it
We develop stuff that integrates with Salesforce and sometimes I have to log into it to test things and I fucking hate it. Don't know how anyone uses it. It's disgusting.
+1 for Salesforce being a steaming heap of poo.
They're all shite to be fair but Hubspot is probably the best/most user friendly one I've used.
We haven't been paid on time today (another fine job by our sith ifrican overlords), so everyone is just sitting around lolling and chilling. Even the Arab is pretending to be dead broke.
Some nice anti-strikes rhetoric has started up in the corner. Fuck the nurses, crush the poor.
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