Here is my review of Full Gear, the first event of AEW I’ve watched in its (almost) entirety for a long time, so I thought I’d celebrate the occasion by hitting you all with lots of words about it. It’s taken me five days so I feel a sense of accomplishment just by reaching the end. I won’t complain about the length of WrestleMania ever again. This fucker looked long enough so I skipped any angles/skits so if I missed something obvious then that’s why. I wanted to give up on this after the ROH title match because I wasn’t enjoying it but I plowed on in the name of content for the board.
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Starting out with the pre-show as there’s a couple of matches I want to see.
First up, a 10 Man Tag involving absolutely nobody I give a shit about. This show will be long enough so let’s skip this one straight off the bat.
Ricky Starks vs. Brian Cage: this is what most TV/pre-show matches should be, really. No need to go kill yourself every week with suicide dives. Starks is a great underdog babyface, he’s a good seller and has great fire in his comebacks - look how the crowd were eating it up by the end. Other than a random Canadian Destroyer there was absolutely nothing risky done in this match. Brian Cage’s problem is that he’s confused about what he should be; he’s a fucking unit and AEW don’t have many fucking units so he should act like a fucking unit, but instead he wants to be this flying big man. This was actually one of his better matches because he toned it down and did more power moves to help get Starks’ story across. He should win this whole tournament shambles; Starks vs. MJF would be great.
Eddie Kingston vs. Jun Akiyama: watching this for Akiyama (legend). I get that Eddie Kingston loves old AJPW (so do I) and wants to wrestle all these Japanese guys in Strong Style matches but he’s not very good at it. His machine gun chops were pretty bad here particularly and 50-something Jun Akiyama is just still so fucking smooth that I felt he inadvertently showed Kingston up a bit. But a lot of people like Eddie’s shtick. Admittedly I’ve not been watching AEW much recently but I thought he was on one of those losing streak arcs so even though in context of the company him winning made sense, in terms of his story it probably didn’t. Whatever, moving on.
To the main show, Robin.
Jungle Boy vs. Luchasaurus: at least AEW use the cage sparingly and use it when it matters in a real blood feud, as opposed to WWE busting it out for any old shit then giving the feud nowhere to go after that. And to add to it, the stupid “escape the cage” finish doesn’t exist in this company either so we’re off to a good start. Christian is just awesome but this match starts really bad. This is meant to be a grudge decider and Luchasaurus tries to go fucking collar and elbow which Jungle Boy ducks then hits the ribs with the least fiery offence I’ve seen in a long time. Thankfully Luchasaurus cuts him off quick and we get into classic heel domination. Jungle Boy scratching away at his forehead within a minute of the bell so nice to see they’re building this match up slowly, maybe Tony has only given them 8 minutes (spoiler: no)? That’s a pretty good crimson mask though I must say, he did seem a bit excitable with the blade. Some good babyface selling before Christian steals the key (but it shows up the refs as absolute idiots). Now Christian gets turfed and we are outside the cage in a cage match (ffs) which turns out to all be for the purpose of getting some toys in the ring. A bit more fire from Jack now but the Canadian Destroyer can fuck off, and he rightfully gets ploughed through the chair for trying it a second time. Nice comeback and piledriver and we should be getting towards the finish but that table hasn’t been used yet so we’re going longer. Luchasaurus hits the Undertaker’s finish for only a two count (lol). Jack comes back and sets up for the big elbow off the top. That’s a huge jump so fair play but he didn’t get all of it (sorry Michael Cole) and is surely hurt more than Luchasaurus but he jumps up anyway and locks in a submission which seems a bit strange; if you’re a big fuck off giant and you’re tapping out to a scrawny kid then you’re only heading one way on the card. Correct winner and they told the right general story but it could have been put together a lot better and had the classic AEW mistake of only selling when it suits. Jungle Boy also bled way too early, by the end it was inconsequential.
Death Triangle vs. The Elite: a significant proportion of the AEW audience go wild for this shit so fair enough let them have it, but it’s not my cup of tea. There’s some good workers involved but I fear they will get giddy and it will descend into an unapologetic spot fest rather quickly. I’m failing to see the next step for these guys too because they are literally the only two teams in this entire trios division; everyone else is randomly stuck together so you know they’re not going to win against a cohesive unit. Oh my God that was the most self-indulgent entrance I’ve ever seen and if that wasn’t enough we’ve got a crowd that seems hell bent on trying to get itself over (those Punk chants are just cringey if you’re older than 16, we know you like the Bucks). I’m sure it’ll be a good bit for the YouTube show though. A tag match with Rick Knox (I think) as ref, this will be nonsensical chaos in seconds. Starting with Omega and PAC, hopefully the other four don’t get in then. Ah never mind, these two have gone straight to the overly cooperative moves straight away anyway. Good heeling from PAC early on but that superkick and kip up spot was phony as shit. It’s good athleticism but the Bucks and Lucha Bros have wrestled this same match 100 times before and no doubt will 100 times in the future. I’m not even concentrating on the match now. Lots of moves before a suicide dive that everyone set up for 30 seconds ago then stand around like absolute dorks and the camera cuts to Nick smiling his head off whilst supposedly selling. Back to Omega and PAC so I’m paying a bit more attention again but it lasts 30 seconds before everyone gets their cue to jump in and do a triple tombstone spot. Lots more moves before Knox misses Omega’s foot on the rope (of course he does). Moves again before Knox misses Omega getting nailed with the fucking ring hammer. That was just six guys getting their shit in and we get to see it six more times. They need to cut Nakazawa and Cutler loose, nothing screams indie mentality more than them two clowns. Stars from Dave though so happy days.
Jade Cargill vs. Nyla Rose: woof this is going to be rough. Here comes Nyla in a low rider because Guerrero. Cargill looks great but she’s green so throwing her in there with someone who also needs to be walked through a match isn’t going to end well if it’s not short with a load of smoke and mirrors. We start with Nyla smashing one of the seconds outside which I have a lot of time for. Now we’re in the ring and I can see this going south in a hurry. Nyla is sloppy and Cargill is taking her bumps wrong. Injury pending. I almost can’t watch this, these two are just getting exposed on PPV, it’s going to be kind of hard to take Cargill seriously as an undefeated champion after this. Thankfully it was short but it did end kind of abruptly and both women have two managers standing there and none got involved. Weird.
Chris Jericho vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Sammy Guevara: I don’t understand four way matches at all so I’m just kind of watching this without finding anything to comment on early doors. It’s not bad, just waiting for the eventual will-they-won’t-they alliances. And it’s the babyfaces to do it first, so we might get a good few minutes. Jericho and Sammy have a rest outside somewhere before Jericho boots Claudio in the face but he’s left himself exposed to the two faces, silly cunt. Sammy comes in with a very telegraphed double-cutter making the faces look a bit daft. Now some heeling from JAS but Excalibur makes a good point that it’s a World title match and they’re opponents so ROH is looking small time again. Prolonged 2-on-1 which ends in Jericho hitting a lionsault. Sammy breaks up a Jericho pin and here we go, 15 minutes in or whatever and we finally get some meaningful action. Although a shooting star press only gets a two these days. Claudio tossing Sammy out onto Jericho looked great but the four-way stipulation has just killed all suspense from these near-falls because the champion is still sat outside gathering his thoughts (I know he doesn’t need to be involved in the finish but unless it’s telegraphed that he won’t be, he will). Spanish Fly off the top and I still couldn’t tell you who is meant to be the giver/receiver in that instance. How long has this match gone now? It’s dragging. Things are just kind of happening and it’s entirely the booking’s fault. Speaking of idiot refs, Aubrey misses the most blatant foot on the rops from Sammy. Giant Swing which Jericho interrupts with the Judas Effect but he so obviously missed that he had to do it again. Summed up the whole Jericho as champion storyline that ending.
Saraya vs. Britt Baker: if we can get through this without Saraya getting hurt it’s mission accomplished. This has been a strange build up though because Saraya is supposed to be the babyface and Baker the heel, but if you’re a fan of AEW the company then you’re going to be backing Baker here as all her promos have referenced her carrying the division since its inception (she’s not wrong) while Saraya just swans in off the street. The start of the match tries to rectify this with Baker going straight after the neck. Saraya is rusty and gets blown up pretty quick but that’s understandable. The match is pretty basic and the crowd just do not give one shit about this. Bit scruffy towards the end as Saraya really gets out of puff. And she wins out of nowhere with two bad looking DDTs. That result was all wrong in my opinion. They could have had Baker win and Saraya blame the rustiness and then they go back a second time without anyone losing heat. Either short term booking from TK or Saraya is going to be very part time.
Fuck, this show is feeling long already.
Samoa Joe vs. Wardlow vs. Powerhouse Hobbs: three good big guys, this should be decent. However, the build has been a mess. So it’s pretty obvious “WarJoe” (lol) was put together a few weeks ago for the sole purpose of breaking them up but even if you disregard that, you’ve created a grudge where one member of the tag team turns heel on his mate so you’ve got yourself a nice brawl with a reason. But then inexplicably Hobbs gets put into the match and completely takes the gloss off the bad blood between the other two guys. A booker with a brain would hold back Hobbs to go after the winner. Anyway, less moaning about Cocaine Tony and more watching three big guys pound each other. Here we go, and Hobbs is getting too involved off the bat, the other two just split up and should be focusing on each other but Hobbs hits a mega suplex on Wardlow. I’m all about this shit and Joe should help blend it all together as the other two are still green. Then Wardlow did a moonsault and senton off the top which was miles more impressive than anything the EVPs did earlier. There was a good exchange between Wardlow and Hobbs (before Joe cheats to win) which is maybe foreshadowing something but it highlights the age old problem of three/four ways that it always descends into 1-on-1 with someone cycling in/out. In a normal company taking the belt off Wardlow would be an odd move given he’s over but in this company there’s a million belts so whatever.
Sting/Darby Allin vs. Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett: is this no-DQ just so they can brawl around the arena and the big goof at ringside can get involved without making the ref look like an idiot? Probably. Jarrett comes in with four Stings (yet FTR still can’t get on the card) and is just being an all round twat so this might actually be alright if it’s a one-off. TNA chants though, crowd being small time again. Bit of a goofy angle to start but Jarrett sells Sting like a killer. I don’t want Jarrett in 2022 but he could teach a lot of these guys a few things about basics. And we’re in the crowd already which obviously culminates in Darby trying to jump off something more wild than last week but he’s cut off by that giant weird looking fella. 62 year-old Sting takes a dive off the balcony onto the big cunt because he’s mental. Finally in the ring and Jarrett actually looks good. Darby sells like death when he remembers to. They used the giant for spots well but the match just kind of ended as Darby ran in from nailing Jarrett to hit his Coffin Drop on Lethal and that’s that. Had no hopes for this going in but it was alright.
Toni Storm vs. Jamie Hayter: both come to the ring looking like they want to cause havoc which is a nice change up from most of them either goofing off or just being casual as fuck. The crowd are with Hayter here and so am I. And it starts like a proper wrestling match with tests of strength and working limbs, unbelievable. You can tell these two have worked Japan and the UK, they’re just miles ahead of the American women with their transitions and psychology. It’s stiff yet crisp. I’m not writing much because I’m really enjoying this. Strong offense and heel work from Hayter and great selling by Storm. Now Storm back on top with equally good work and then a wild headbutt spot which was excellent. Oh no we can do without this outside interference please. Unnecessary and Hayter tells her to fuck off anyway but now she will look silly if she doesn’t win. Oh and now Britt Baker involved too, seemingly with no ill effects of being drilled on her dome, twice, by Saraya earlier. Why do this Tony? This was a genuinely great match up until the interference. Hayter wins but it’s tainted now and there was just no need for it. Great match that would have been even better. Rematches forever please.
The Acclaimed vs. Swerve in Our Glory: the obligatory rubber match in the series but this feud has had its day already. Logic dictates The Acclaimed should dispatch of SIOG rather quickly and cement their place as the pinnacle of the division; the crowd want it and it will make whoever dethrones them down the line more important too. But we know Tony doesn’t book like that, he’d rather an epic match to gush about in the media scrum so strap in. Although I might forgive him if he breaks up the team and gives Swerve a singles run. Apparently Bowens’ shoulder injury is legit so this might be sloppy, especially if it goes long. Very quick transition from the last match so they’re obviously running out of time and don’t I fucking know it. Scissor Me Daddy ain’t my thing but they’ve got the crowd in the palms of their hands, Caster is so slick on the mic. Acclaimed are pretty green and basic still but they can do literally anything and be over as fuck with it (see also: New Age Outlaws, Dudley Boyz). If Bowens’ shoulder really is hurt then he’s got balls because it got worked over pretty well. Swerve in the crowd rearranging barriers as weapons while the ref does nothing. Pretty sure this isn’t no DQ so he looks an idiot too. Keith Lee sells fuck all for the babyfaces and is making sure he looks strong in (inevitable) defeat. This is going way too long already, nobody is buying a title change so why bother stretching it out? Babyface comeback from Caster cut off early because Keith Lee decides he don’t sell for these kids, brother. Swerve has to come back in so Acclaimed can bump someone for a near fall. They finally use the barricade that was set up 15 minutes ago for a random spot that adds nothing. Swerve looks good here, he’s ready for a singles run. Keith Lee’s breathing tells me this has gone too long already and that’s after he had a lie down for five minutes. He double teams Acclaimed even though he tagged out a minute ago so again AEW don’t do tag match rules. Here’s Billy Gunn to run off Swerve with the pliers and Keith decides he’s not about that at all so here is the split as he fucks off for a shower. Now it’s 2-on-1 yet we inexplicably carry on with a bit of chain wrestling so The Acclaimed look weak as fuck now. They finally hit their finish for the win. They could have done all that in 10 minutes.
Jon Moxley vs. MJF: the result here is obvious, right? Don’t fuck with us, Tony. They’ve been teasing Regal turning on Moxley to help MJF win and sometimes the predictable thing is the right thing. Really struggling for time now as I only had to skip 2 minutes to get to the ring introductions for this. Moxley wants to trade slaps and bites to start and MJF rightly nopes out of there and heels it up big time. New York crowd though so they’re pro-heel. Two minutes in and they’ve both established with the ref he’s got no authority over this one. For someone who wrestles about four times a year, MJF has this wrestling thing nailed. His pacing and positioning is really good. Moxley taking a lot of the offense but it’s plodding at best. MJF needs a fiery babyface to play off with his heel tactics. New York are seemingly big fans of back rakes and toe stomps from the heel. Moxley plays it up as a heel now but MJF is also doing heel shit still so it’s a weird dynamic. Piledriver through the table which inexplicably isn’t a DQ so the ref looks stupid YET AGAIN. Making your referees look competent is just basic stuff and AEW get it wrong every time. Top rope DDT looked bad but good positioning from MJF to stay near the ropes. Moxley has absolutely bossed this match for the best part of 20 minutes and now here’s Regal so the betrayal is telegraphed in big neon lights. MJF flips him off though as Regal doesn’t want him to cheat. One ref bump isn’t enough so here’s a second ref to get bumped immediately. Oh but now Regal DOES want MJF to cheat. Brass knuckles for the three as Moxley has a conversation through the pin. New champion thank fuck but that was a weak ending.
Final thoughts: Storm vs. Hayter was match of the night and it’s not even close. Thank fuck they put the belt on MJF. There’s been a billion matches on this card and yet there was no place for FTR? Pathetic. And Tony still wouldn’t release them for the NJPW tag league (where they are champions). Speaking of Tony, this company needs a proper booker desperately. There’s a lot of shite on the roster but that’s just my personal taste in some cases but there’s just no rhyme or reason to anything at the moment and that’s the real problem. Quite a few times in the show they had the right idea with where they wanted to be but got there in stupid ways. Yeah I don’t think I’ll be doing one of these reviews again in a hurry. I might make a comeback for Wrestle Kingdom or Royal Rumble.