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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #8401
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The sideways move to another company to get a payrise is common in finance as well. It's amazing how little you can move the dial when you're in a job.

  2. #8402
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    This seems to be working out well. Started a level 5 apprenticeship (dunno) in March and today got a call from my line manager asking me to apply for the job above mine, that states a degree is required. “Well, you’re working towards one so that counts.”

    Annoying but it seems like I’ve got a job on 50% more if I want it, right?
    Interviewed for this today and got it.
    I'm a twit

  3. #8403
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  4. #8404
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Every fucker under the sun is getting promoted atm.

  5. #8405
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    At our spot there are whispers of a re-org.

  6. #8406
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Gonna be in the office most of this week because one of our yanks is over. I don't even know why he's bothering this week as they want an MVP by the end of September so he's just gonna be here and slow us down. Really cannot be arsed. Proper dreading this week.

  7. #8407
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Really loving my new job lads.

    In other news, my ex-employer got their external HR to draft a legal letter asking my ex-colleague who they fired to update his LinkedIn to say he no longer works for them.

  8. #8408
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Real hurt or injured shift today after I rolled and sprained my ankle while hammered yesterday. Absolutely killed it but then my 15 minute walk home took 45 minutes. Best bartender in the biz. I need a raise.

  9. #8409
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm off to Berlin tonight for a few days to work from hq. We've arranged go karting on Wednesday for some organised fun which i am actually looking forward to.. 🤦

  10. #8410
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    There’s the two sides of the coin right there.

  11. #8411
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Informal drink driving lagers.

  12. #8412
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    It's FUN

  13. #8413
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    I’ve dropped my hours at work to four days and an hour into the first Monday not working and it’s already boss.

  14. #8414
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Gonna be in the office most of this week because one of our yanks is over. I don't even know why he's bothering this week as they want an MVP by the end of September so he's just gonna be here and slow us down. Really cannot be arsed. Proper dreading this week.
    This was about as bad as I thought. Two hour meeting this morning when he wanked on about the company values. It apparrently took them two months to come up with 14 and then whittle that down to six. Maybe you should have been doing some productive work like buildjng the product we don't have yet during those two months ffs?

    For context, these "values" are for a company with about five people in the US, four in Belfast and a handful of contractors in Romania. Oh, and one guy in India.

    After that we went for lunch where the 3 Belfastians there had a pint with lunch and he had... water. Also had to listen to him say that the US was becoming too socialist these days with Bernie Sanders, trade unions and Biden's student debt relief plan. And he moaned a bit about their stimulus checks and no one wanting to work any more too.

    Wednesday afternoon is meant to be a team building day and the boss in Belfast has basically just organised a drinking session so it'll be interesting to see how that goes.

  15. #8415
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    First day in the office since March 2020. Greeting.

    The upside is it’s 80% WFH now instead of just going back in the office full time.

  16. #8416
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    They've started monitoring office attendance using IT login and giving the info to managers in order to 'provide support to those who are yet to return to the office'

    Can't believe we're still on the 3 days a week policy. Bring on the winter tears.

  17. #8417
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Anyone who pushes 'values' has absolutely nothing to say.

  18. #8418
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We were hiring lately and seen about 95% drop off in applicants once the ad was edited to say it was office based, as everyone presumed wfh. Covid has bred a generation of lazy cunts.

  19. #8419
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Some people don't like being in the office for no reason.

  20. #8420
    I used to be funny.
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    I mean, the work is the reason.

  21. #8421
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I mean, the work is the reason.
    But the cheek of asking someone not to walk the dog or watch Judge Judy while ‘working’.

  22. #8422
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I've got far more done today wfh than I did yesterday. No fucking distracting music that gets into our office from the open plan co-working space downstairs and not having to listen to people down there making phone calls.

  23. #8423
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    And I'm still working trying to get something finished off before quitting for the day whereas if I'd been in the office I'd have left at 6pm (it closes then) and would be on the bus now.

  24. #8424
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    If as an employer (through whatever combination of managerial incompetence, being stuck in the past or people just being underworked generally) you can't tell the difference between somebody working or not they'll get away with doing fuck all whether they're in the office or at home.

  25. #8425
    I used to be funny.
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    Everyone is clocked and their productivity is logged either way. The end result is all that matters. I can't stray too far away from the PC because some of my tasks are time sensitive.

  26. #8426
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The distractions and annoyances are early teething problems to getting adjusted to the new normal of hybrid working so man the fuck up Boydy, we're in this together.

  27. #8427
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Spent the day at head office doing a "deep dive". Because nothing solves understaffing like wasting a whole day pissing and moaning and making existing processes more convoluted.

    The is nothing worse than middle management.

  28. #8428
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I mean, the work is the reason.
    Unless your work depends on the physical location, then it's a weak excuse. I work 3 weeks from home and a few days in the office and I'm equally shit in both locations.

  29. #8429
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab is coming with us to the Munich exhibition in October (if he can get a Schengen visa, which as an Iraqi citizen is by no means certain) and has booked himself a flight to Frankfurt, rather than Munich. When I asked why on earth he had done that, he said he didn't know there was more than one airport in Germany. When I laughed at him for thinking that there was only one airport in Germany, he said 'Well I'm from Jordan, there's only one airport in Jordan'.

    The company are fast tracking this guy to god status.

  30. #8430
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Tbf Munich airport is a fucking disaster.

  31. #8431
    I used to be funny.
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    Well, today was shite. Whilst the office were speculating about the Queen's inevitable death, we were pulled into a meeting to announce a colleague had just passed away. Shocked doesn't cover it.

  32. #8432
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    You worked with the queen?

  33. #8433
    I used to be funny.
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    Technically, I work for her.

  34. #8434
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Past tense

  35. #8435
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just had a message through from one of my bosses (79) lamenting the death of QE2.

    "I suppose you don't remember the coronation, but..."

    You're fucking right there, mate.

  36. #8436

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    Our company flag is at half mast and someone in H&S has stuck an A4 portrait of the Queen to the back of her chair. But other than that, nothing.

  37. #8437
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    someone in H&S has stuck an A4 portrait of the Queen to the back of her chair.


    What a tribute.

  38. #8438
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Out of respect for her maj the regional director has cancelled his Teams Q&A session no-one attends anyway

  39. #8439
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm one of those disgusting layabout civil servants these days and other than a post or two at the top of the intranet page you wouldn't know.

  40. #8440
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Wish my customers were as keen to confirm orders as they are to console me on 'la muerte de la reina Isabel'. Can't believe she's died too, a hard day for queens everywhere.

  41. #8441
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    RIP Isabel.

  42. #8442
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    We've got a full webpage up with guidance for students and staff in these next few difficult weeks, including links to wellness hubs, employee assistance programmes and a chaplaincy. I assumed the kind of people who you see wailing on the news outside the gates after this happens were in the minority but clearly they're everywhere, they walk among us.

  43. #8443
    I used to be funny.
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    The Queen’s firmly in second place in the condolences stakes over here.

  44. #8444
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    There was a ‘special assembly’ in work today. A member of staff got upset and a boy with autism put his hand up on seeing this to ask if he was supposed to be upset about something.

  45. #8445
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    @Baz Congratulations on the new role. I am hoping this means that you've finally cleared the credentialism hurdle where people will no longer care about whether you have post-secondary.

    @Magic Happy to hear the new place is treating you well.

  46. #8446
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    @Baz Congratulations on the new role. I am hoping this means that you've finally cleared the credentialism hurdle where people will no longer care about whether you have post-secondary.
    Thanks. I hope so too. One of the consultants in the team rang (Teamsed?) me today to “congratulate” me but ended up just moaning that another consultant (my line manager) had got their first as she had previously expressed interest to the director in wanting me to be her commissioner for sexual health. I think I’d rather do substance misuse though, cos there’s some crazy generous funding grants for the next three years, and our service provider is much better for addiction than the one for sexual health services. But yeah, the good news is still sinking in.
    I'm a twit

  47. #8447
    I used to be funny.
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    Your email signature's going to be ridiculous by the time you leave. It's ridiculous now.

  48. #8448
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    wanting me to be her commissioner for sexual health.
    Some people have the weirdest chat up lines.

  49. #8449
    I used to be funny.
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    From the makers of Domestic Abuse Champion.

  50. #8450
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    It's like a badly translated JRPG redemption arc

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