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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #8151
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I'll have hopefully 3 job offers doing very different things by the end of the week. Got one already. Getting out of this place it's a fucking joke.

    p.s I lied about my basic and each offer is at least 10k more basic.

  2. #8152

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    Doesn't everybody do that?

  3. #8153
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I bloody hate referencing. What's the point in writing something if I've got to then go and quote some other bugger who once thought something vaguely similar? I just don't get it.
    I'm a twit

  4. #8154
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Currently hiring for 4 roles at the moment and it's hell. I can see why people use recruiters now. I'm ready to throw in the towel and join them.

  5. #8155
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’m starting some in a couple of weeks but it’s such a shit time to be doing it.

  6. #8156
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm looking for work lads. Happy to pretend I have whatever experience you're looking for.

  7. #8157
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Currently hiring for 4 roles at the moment and it's hell. I can see why people use recruiters now. I'm ready to throw in the towel and join them.
    Why's it so bad? Just tons of shit candidates?

  8. #8158
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'm looking for work lads. Happy to pretend I have whatever experience you're looking for.
    After the last couple of broken sticks that the bossman hired I’m going to guess you’d be fine.

  9. #8159
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Why's it so bad? Just tons of shit candidates?
    I'll give you an example. I posted one job on Friday and there's been 170 applications so far.

    It's a hybrid role, so 2 days in the office. Clearly stated in the job type (which people can filter by on LinkedIn) and in bold letters at the beginning of the job description. Yet 70% of the candidates are overseas. And most of those in the UK are either the other side of the country and (too far to commute) or have zero qualifications or experience. One guy applied for a Senior Full Stack Developer role having worked on the checkouts at Sainsbury's for the last 12 years since leaving school. And has no reference to any technical skills in his CV or LinkedIn profile.

    So I've got to manually review each of these cunts and dismiss any that aren't suitable. The remaining pool of viable candidates may contain 1 or 2 that are worth an interview. From 170.

    Multiply the admin involved in that by four and you'll get an idea of why I'm nearly suicidal.

  10. #8160
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In your industry you must just get spammed with people in Bangalore and Karachi?

    From my experience they aren't great readers of ads in that part of the world.

  11. #8161
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I've started my new job today. Totally different setup and vibe is the first impression plus feeling like it's going to be a hard challenge to figure out what I'm doing. Still, at least my manager isn't a knob (yet).

  12. #8162
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I'll give you an example. I posted one job on Friday and there's been 170 applications so far.

    It's a hybrid role, so 2 days in the office. Clearly stated in the job type (which people can filter by on LinkedIn) and in bold letters at the beginning of the job description. Yet 70% of the candidates are overseas. And most of those in the UK are either the other side of the country and (too far to commute) or have zero qualifications or experience. One guy applied for a Senior Full Stack Developer role having worked on the checkouts at Sainsbury's for the last 12 years since leaving school. And has no reference to any technical skills in his CV or LinkedIn profile.

    So I've got to manually review each of these cunts and dismiss any that aren't suitable. The remaining pool of viable candidates may contain 1 or 2 that are worth an interview. From 170.

    Multiply the admin involved in that by four and you'll get an idea of why I'm nearly suicidal.
    Could you not set up some sort of keyword screening at least to filter out people like the Sainsbury's guy?

    And are you sure the ones on the other side of the country wouldn't be willing to relocate?

  13. #8163

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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    It's a hybrid role, so 2 days in the office. Clearly stated in the job type (which people can filter by on LinkedIn) and in bold letters at the beginning of the job description. Yet 70% of the candidates are overseas.
    We just advertise as all hours on-site now, even if remote is possible in some roles, for that very reason. Telling people after the fact they can do a bit from home is never a deal breaker, and if they're a worthy candidate and you're an attractive employer then they'll probably apply anyway.

  14. #8164
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    To be fair he's got 12 years' experience of developing full stacks (of Pringles etc).

  15. #8165
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I worked at Tesco for a bit about 10 years ago SVN. Last chance or I'm off to be Giggles Drivers Mate.

  16. #8166
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Could you not set up some sort of keyword screening at least to filter out people like the Sainsbury's guy?

    And are you sure the ones on the other side of the country wouldn't be willing to relocate?
    LinkedIn do try and autofilter out the retards, but it's very hit and miss. It actually filtered out the person we ended up hiring last time (I just happened to check out of interest) so I've turned it off now, because it's not reliable.

    And the people that look good, but are in the UK are still getting a message about the commute. So far I've messaged 7 - 4 didn't reply, 2 of them said "they didn't realise it wasn't a remote position" and the 1 said they're moving to the area, and has an interview scheduled with us later this week.

    But having to do that for every candidate just takes forever.

  17. #8167
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The devil works hard but the gammon trying to keep the brown man out of his company works harder.

  18. #8168
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I'll give you an example. I posted one job on Friday and there's been 170 applications so far.

    It's a hybrid role, so 2 days in the office. Clearly stated in the job type (which people can filter by on LinkedIn) and in bold letters at the beginning of the job description. Yet 70% of the candidates are overseas. And most of those in the UK are either the other side of the country and (too far to commute) or have zero qualifications or experience. One guy applied for a Senior Full Stack Developer role having worked on the checkouts at Sainsbury's for the last 12 years since leaving school. And has no reference to any technical skills in his CV or LinkedIn profile.

    So I've got to manually review each of these cunts and dismiss any that aren't suitable. The remaining pool of viable candidates may contain 1 or 2 that are worth an interview. From 170.

    Multiply the admin involved in that by four and you'll get an idea of why I'm nearly suicidal.
    My pal has created an AI platform that plumbs in to CV libraries and you can filter on keywords, job type, experience, but most importantly skills. Then it returns 'matches' based on your criteria and you can choose to view their CV and reach out to them.

    It's pretty cool but I'm reticent to tell you what it is.

  19. #8169
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You can rest assured he already knows what it is.

  20. #8170
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Repurpose the BazBot to sack and employ people instead. You may end up 2000 employees in the red at times but you know it'll always come good.

  21. #8171
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    In your industry you must just get spammed with people in Bangalore and Karachi?

    From my experience they aren't great readers of ads in that part of the world.
    I get emails every so often from people wanting to join my research team as PhD students. I work in a university that does not grant PhDs. Bastards follow up on their emails too, after I ignore them.

    I am ***, a teaching and research professional, has been working as Research head in Engineering at Whilebooks LLP, Cochin, India. I am writing this email to explore an opportunity of working under your guidance as PhD research scholar for the next intake.

    ...

    I consider it is a great honour for me to work under you in this university since your guidance, research experience, knowledge, professional approach is really quite resourceful for my research.

    Please find my CV, Statement of purpose, Research proposal, and Education certificates for your perusal. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you about my candidacy.


    He looks to be about 40 years old in his picture too.

  22. #8172
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Tries to curry favour, gets naan at all.

  23. #8173
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    There are actually jobs going in my team at present but you need to be a rail nonce. We have had to readvertise as there were no suitable candidates out of the latest round of interviewees

  24. #8174
    I used to be funny.
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    We're also hiring but I don't like the idea of being back on the phones forever. Or negotiating with claimants to stop calling our HP's racial slurs.

  25. #8175
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I was on the way to saving my boss from a prison sentence for accounting fraud and he called me up saying ‘just saw you walking through town, walk of shame is it’

    Was so close to just telling on him.

  26. #8176
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    We've got the opposite issue to @SvN - advertised for a Geography teacher (mat cover). 1 applicant, and they pulled out the day before due to getting a permanent job elsewhere. So it's gone back out - thankfully not needed until October, but you do worry about what dregs you'll get around that time (mostly anyone half decent will have a gig by that point). The recruitment/retention crisis in teaching is rearing it's head.

  27. #8177
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I looked into teaching once and it's just nowhere near enough money for the amount of grief. Especially Senior School Teachers who must be clinically insane.

    I could teach Junior School kids probably, but £25 grand a year? Lol.

  28. #8178
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The pay does get better as you get more experience - especially if you take on extra responsibilities (which typically results in less teaching, so win-win). My wife's on around £48k and she's one of a team of 5 that head up a year group.

  29. #8179
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Also big savings on childcare during school holidays

  30. #8180
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The Tory propaganda has finally toppled the Oxbridge Communist.

  31. #8181
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Also big savings on childcare during school holidays
    But lost on the “school holiday tax” on holidays abroad.
    I'm a twit

  32. #8182
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The pay does get better as you get more experience - especially if you take on extra responsibilities (which typically results in less teaching, so win-win). My wife's on around £48k and she's one of a team of 5 that head up a year group.
    Yeah and you move through the main pay scale quite quickly, you either have to be incompetent or at a toxic school to not progress every year. Plus they’re talking about bumping the starting salary to £30k now.

    Apparently there are only 40 physics teachers training this year in the entire country (after all, if you have a physics degree, wtf would you go into teaching?) and assume 20 of those will drop out between now and 2027, paints a pretty bleak picture for our children’s futures. Schools will be chosen because they have an ‘actual’ physics teacher, as opposed to a PE teacher winging it.

  33. #8183

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    Well there's the problem then. Anyone who is committed and intelligent enough to put themselves through a physics degree and qualify is not the type of person who'll be looking at £25k jobs.

  34. #8184
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Excuse my ignorance, but does a newly-qualified physics teacher have the same starting basic as a newly-qualified history teacher / whatever type is in least demand?

    If so, that's insane.

  35. #8185
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The humanities profs here still bitch because they earn less than engineering/management profs. What else are they going to do?

    Physics teachers earning the same as history teachers is obviously insane, but good luck having 'market-based' salaries on the public sector.

  36. #8186
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Isn't there a golden handshake type deal for certain High School subjects? Or you get a load of money whilst training or something? I can't remember exactly but I'm sure I remember there being *something*.

    You do progress pretty quickly through the payscales as a teacher but it's not long until you hit the cap unless you want to go into being a head.

    You also become stuck in a particular school because nobody wants to hire you once you become expensive.

    Teaching is honestly brutal and there's a crisis coming. It's not the actual teaching that's the problem either, it's the fact the teaching unavoidably takes up 6-7 hours of your day but only constitutes about a third of the work load. They just bring in the new ones, burn through them for 5-6 years and they leave to be replaced by the next bunch.

  37. #8187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Excuse my ignorance, but does a newly-qualified physics teacher have the same starting basic as a newly-qualified history teacher / whatever type is in least demand?

    If so, that's insane.
    Everyone starts on the same. The training is where the difference is - there’s no longer any financial incentive to train to teach history (I got £4k back in 2014), but Physics is at least £20k (might be 30 now).

  38. #8188
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    You also become stuck in a particular school because nobody wants to hire you once you become expensive.
    This is where I’m at now. The only way out is a step up - luckily I’m not desperate to leave and can wait for the right opportunity, but many aren’t as fortunate.

  39. #8189
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Are they taking non-graduates as teachers now?

  40. #8190
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Are they taking non-graduates as teachers now?
    Not yet, but it's hard to see how we don't go down that path in the next 10-15 years, purely out of necessity.

  41. #8191
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Wouldn't it be better to do away with the teaching qualification bit rather than the graduate bit and/or doesn't the 'academy model' boil the role down to 'content provider' status where the teachers are essentially delivering scripted lessons [I have no view as to whether that is a good thing or not]. If you want to see an education system in proper collapse you should looks at ours in Guernsey, and I think we spend double per pupil that they do in the UK.

  42. #8192
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I would have become a teacher (modern languages or maybe English) if it made even any sense to do so. I looked into it quite seriously at one point. There just isn't anything about it that is going to drag the average person away from a likely better-paying, lower stress nine to five. Full respect to those who do, they must just love it.

  43. #8193
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    A lot of them definitely do. My missus blew my mind the other day when she said no matter how much money she had - or won through a lottery win etc - would stop her from teaching because she’s not in it for the money. Weirdo, definitely gets it from her Maw.

    The pay isn’t bad though. Well, for cost of living in Scotland anyway. £33k in 1st year and over £40k in year 5 (think that’s the cap). I’m sure that’ll go up when they start striking again. She’ll be a Deputy Head/higher up within 10 years anyway. Mon

  44. #8194

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    There's a fun hypothetical: would you quit your job immediately if you won the lottery (as in enough to comfortably live on)? I'm not sure I would.

  45. #8195
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Without a doubt, and I enjoy my job a lot, I just enjoy not being at work a lot more.

  46. #8196
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The place would never see or hear from me again.

  47. #8197
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    There's a fun hypothetical: would you quit your job immediately if you won the lottery (as in enough to comfortably live on)? I'm not sure I would.
    I wouldn't even tell them I was leaving.

  48. #8198
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd be off. As long as I don't piss it up the wall or die of boredom.

  49. #8199
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Why would you stay? I can understand perhaps wanting to work (in the loosest sense) but surely then you're not needing the cash, you could just go and do something you want like saving leopards or buying a football team.

  50. #8200
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I might stay on while I worked out what I wanted to do, but escaping wage slave status is basically the ultimate dream in a modern human society.

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