Back in the office to train this week. Looks like this will be the last of the new starters. One of our previous newbies spent today going through some fast-forward covid. Turned up with the sniffles, those turned into sneezes, two hours later she was wearing sunglasses so she could look at the screen. Went home with about an hour left.
She looks like Brock Lesnar.
Second mediation today with my boss. She was SEETHING throughout. At the start we had to do a "honey shower" where we said three good things about the other person and the only thing she could offer initially was "did a good zoom hosting". The best bit was near the end where she implied I was either sexist, racist or ageist and that's why I failed to do administrative things like updating the HR system and I would if a male manager told me.
I promptly told the mediators that I'm not going to continue with this and I'm leaving the call. She's an absolute lunatic.
So your actual bigotry is towards people with mental health issues? Disgusting.Originally Posted by Kikó
What sort of a cunting name for that is “honey shower”? Fucking perverts.
In the Civil Service over here they call it "filling the bucket". The idea is that you pour so much praise into the bucket, that any holes in the bucket caused by criticism don't matter.
I always thought it was bollocks and Kiko's experience seems to support my view.
"He's very punctual and hosts meetings well, I just wish he wasn't a massive Racist, Sexist, Ageist, Elitist..."
Is she an ethnic? Explains a lot.
Two positives and a negative, aka the turd sandwich.
I'm positive towards all disabilities except small heads.
I've been having a whale of a time of late.
Our company has bought a smaller company which does largely the same stuff. They have a place down in the sticks in Hampshire, based literally on a farm, so you can imagine who was given the job of going down there in the first week and educating them about our way of doing things (this is all largely pointless as in six months they'll be shutting and any remaining staff will be coming over to the death star anyway, a la 'the Swindon lot').
So last week I turned up at this place, opening the car door to the sound of moooooo and various other animal noises. This company works in a barn, which has a small office in the corner, and the parts get flogged out the back. Obviously, as long time readers will know, my company is a company in name alone, so I was made to bring my personal laptop to work on and my personal mobile to communicate with the outside world. This proved more difficult than anticipated when it turned out there was no phone signal anywhere on site, so I spent the first half hour walking approx 1km up a nearby hill until I could get a phone signal to receive the 2 step verification codes to log into everything.
When I finally got set up, in a corner, it was clear this was not going to be an easy task. They have a very posh MD, who is coming onto our board, and 3 office staff. They also have a small black dog, which spends most of its time tripping people up and running into the warehouse ('that's just Bertie being Bertie', they said, when I queried if this was a health and safety issue). Their warehouse people basically do fuck all. They have a serious scale problem, which is probably why they've been bought - half of their business is selling Ł3 little nuts and bolts where you lose money on the deal. We'll be mopping up their stock to widen our range for wholesale, and otherwise we'll be completely abandoning everything they're about. This is obviously hard to communicate to the staff, as I'm trying to be diplomatic, and I'm also too junior to say anything official - so I was telling them the score 'off the record'.
Anyway, this week I've come back to base and the yokels are pounding me with queries, Teams calls etc - they are in serious trouble without a guiding hand there, and already begging me to come back. Sensing strength, for a change, I've told my line manager that I'm not going back there unless the company issues me with a laptop and a second screen to work on, because making me take my own laptop down there is absolute amateur hour. Until this gets approved the yokels are basically fucked, but my line manager apparently 'can't get hold of' the MD to progress my request.
Working for an absolute joke of a company is simultaneously great fun and a real pain in the arse.
Pictures of Bertie next time please.
This is all a ruse for Bertie to trip Jim over on his next hill walking jaunt.
Scenes when Bertie secures the next big deal in the Middle East.
Thereby smashing the new laptop to smithereens
Barney seething because somebody tells him Bertie's on Ł60k.
Not giving you a phone and laptop is pure fucking amateur hour.
I don't even have a personal laptop these days so in the very unlikely event that I applied for a job in the tractor engine industry and a firm like Jimmy's wanted me to go anywhere either they or I would be fucked.
It turned into great fun. As the afternoon wore on, it became clear that the bumpkins wanted me there tomorrow. I said well, fine, but I'm not going there with my personal laptop (I normally take a doormat approach to the bosses so this was a bit of a departure). They thought about it for an hour or so, then the MD came back to me and said: 'Sorry we don't have any spare laptops, what about if you take your laptop, but we'll find you a second screen?' I said I'm sorry for being awkward about this, but it's my personal laptop and company time, I'm happy to work off site but you need to equip me to do it. He went off in a semi-huff, five minutes later came back and magically the IT department had found me a spare laptop which I'll be picking up tomorrow before going there.
The MD then gave a big speech about how we're a professional company and of course we equip our employees properly, and I thought yeah the hell you fucking do.
I really hope it's a Laptop from the 90s.
It'll be the bosses grandkids personal laptop. Adorned with some sick Paw Patrol stickers.
One of those laptops that takes 15 minutes to boot and doesn't work without the power in.
100% this is going to be a brick of a laptop which will infuriate Jim into going back to the personal within an hour.
I wouldn't even bring it, or at least I wouldn't take it out of the Hotel/B&B/Car/Tent or whatever they have him staying in.
Lol as if they'd put me up. I'm driving down each day, and have been told to use the 'mileage form' which as far as I can see is a figment of their imagination.
12.5 million quid we were sold for.
Bertie will love it.
In a 9-1 zoom course thing today. Arrived 15 mins late, didn't realise my microphone wasn't muted by default, so think a few dozen people heard me and my mother's very boring conversation about what she's got on the menu for her work. I hope all the aspiring fundraisers are into gyozo and king prawns. Oops.
The agency look like they've dropped a bollock with the new starters' accesses. So another week of training to come, at least. One of them decided to just vanish on holiday for a week. She would've been sacked if it wasn't for the fuck up at the agency. Well played.
Came offshore for a week into a semi covid world where face masks are still required everywhere. Hell.
They had banana angel delight at lunch though. So not all bad.
Brief update from my non-descriptive work drama. We entered into a mediation process with two people in HR who took us through 9 hours of trying to resolve our relationship. It basically ended up being a free swing at me for most of it saying how it's my fault she is a complete dick of a manager. The best when she accused me of not respecting her because she is a woman (or due to her age or nationality).
Anyway, we left the last session with this week we were to "think of how we could work together" (without really having addressed her calling me an -ist previously). I sent an email earlier in the week saying actually fuck carrying this on. She did as well and the mediators played that back this afternoon. So on one side the relationship is now dead, the other is I have no idea what happens next from a work perspective.
I've got a potential few job ideas which hopefully takes me out of the situation internally and externally. Great first 6 months in Germany!
Is this all in English? If so, how good is the English from those involved who aren't you? Would seem quite important when it comes to precision and so on.
I work for a German company and they don’t let me speak German and probably have better English than me.
The only way to resolve this is to be more sexist, clearly.
HR my hole. All they ever look after is the higher up in the company no matter what’s gone on. Get some independent representation in any further meetings.
All in English but with non native (although my boss is fluent in English). One of the mediators was a bit useless in understanding everything and it was set up in such a way that she had a free swing.
Giggles- as far as I can tell this is all a "we tried" exercise and then the next bit should be finding me a new home (perhaps they will say I can make it a formal grievance).
Out of office set for 3 weeks
I'm a twit
Yeah but there's a big difference between speaking it 'fluently' and really understanding nuance in fraught situations, especially when it comes to the Germans.
I still don't understand how things went so tits up, but I imagine you may not either.
Please see the UK Politics thread.
You beat me to it by a fucking second.
This does all continue to sound reet shit though, Keeks.
Very different working styles in reality. Her situation is she's trying to quickly get promoted and is currently a star in the CFOs eyes so is trying to bank it while she can. Throw into the mix that she is pregnant which means she's got to take time off work (reducing her time to make her promotion charge). Mix it in with a very direct, rude and belittling communication style, made the whole thing untenable.
If someone asked me to attended mediation I'd just tell them to fuck off. What a load of bollocks.
Yeah in hindsight, that was definitely what should have happened.
Is the following rendition basically how your working relationship started?
You are Kiko, and you have been asked to do some financial analysis. You perform to the standard that has seen you praised at every other workplace and got you this new job. You submit your work for review, eagerly awaiting the blossoming of a great working relationship.
"What the hell is this? This is very bad work. How did you get this job?"
"Please don't talk to me like that."
"You are sexist, ageist and racist."
Pretty much (except for me doing financial analysis).
Sounds like I need to visit your LinkedIn.
You could have started with this.
I thought you finished at Mountbatten.
Or MountBlack'uns as he called it.
So at work we are chronically understaffed. We just about get by with locums but still not all the shifts get filled.
Management keep telling our rota co-ordinator to come up with a solution. She has made multiple proposals which all get turned down.
Most recently, she has come up with a 14 person rota (currently we have an 11 person rota) with plans to employ 2 extra people +1 who is coming back from mat leave. There would be no issue finding people for those roles as we had over 200 applications last time we advertised.
This rota would be SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper to run than what we currently pay for locum cover and would actually fill all the gaps (unlike the current set-up). It would virtually eliminate the need for locums within the department, aside from last minute sickness etc.
Management have said we can't do this because we can't afford it. When it was pointed out it would be much cheaper, they said that paying for locums comes out of a different budget so it's not relevant.
And Lee wonders why we think his lot are morons.
Last edited by randomlegend; 02-05-2022 at 02:53 PM.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
