April FOOLSball more like

[Ian]

I'd totally forgotten about the new fred for the month so I don't have any follow up to the title which would have worked better before midday. I'll pretend that in celebration of England drawing U!S!A! in the World Cup I was appealing to our West Coast posters. Do we have any of those?

Whatever.

There is already a fred for World Cup draw chat so I guess I'll just have to pretend I care about anything else that's going on.

Well it's all going on this month with Liverpool pretending to be worried about Benfica before absolutely tonking them, United probably finding a way to drop points against Norwich, Bodø/Glimt hopefully lolling Mourinho out of the Wafer Doc Martins League and a whole multitude of teams playing against other teams in various leagues and cups. I'll be tremendous, I'm sure.

Share the best football related April Fools pranks below! I mean I assume there aren't any because April Fools is shit but maybe one club's bored social media teenage managed something.

[phonics]

So last time I said ‘this is the month that makes or breaks Arsenals season’ we were utter turd.

Don’t want to jinx it again but this is the month that makes or breaks Arsenals season.

[Shindig]

A good old fashioned fan protest ahead of our game on Sunday.

We also want to shine a light on the plight of Suhail Al-Jameel who is an icon for LGBTQ+ people in Saudi Arabia. Suhail is currently reported to be in a political prison (which is worse than a normal one) and is alleged to have received 800 lashes, after posting a shirtless photograph on Twitter. His ‘crimes’; are purported to include “homosexuality”,” imitating a woman”, “disobedience” and “public indecency”. We hope that UK pressure could lead to his release.

Does that make Mrs. Doubtfire a banned film over there?

[Spikey M]

Man like Spikey throwing stones in glass houses in the poll.

[Ian]

Man like Spikey throwing stones in glass houses in the poll.

Just about to post about this.

[Giggles]

Tough task but a must win for Shels this evening, I’m sure you wanted to know.

[Giggles]

Man like Spikey throwing stones in glass houses in the poll.

#pollsonmobileplease

[Spikey M]

#pollsonmobileplease

I use full site mode on my phone. Some zooming in required here and there but it's better than the phone version.

[Giggles]

Nice. It’s only right that someone select the right answer.

[Giggles]

But no to this zooming and scrolling shite.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Speaking of the poll:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60953469

Ralf Rangnick is confident Manchester United's fans will not turn on skipper Harry Maguire at Old Trafford when they entertain his former club Leicester.

Rangnick said he "didn't understand" why England fans booed Maguire's name when it was read out at Wembley before the friendly win over Ivory Coast.

Gareth Southgate and Harry Kane led the defence of Maguire after the game.

"He knows my position towards him," said Rangnick. "He's been a very valuable player for the team."

I hope the boos are deafening towards Maguire on the weekend.

[Lewis]

I would be tempted to boo him on behalf of the wider game, which has further goned itself rushing to support him as if he had died.

[Shindig]

You can't tell a crowd not to do something.

[Giggles]

I can get booing him at club level because he’s stealing millions, but you don’t turn on your own at iternational level.

[Spoonsky]

As strange as it sounds, it feels harsh to boo a player just for being shit. It's not like he doesn't make an effort, and nor is it his fault that England don't have any better center-backs.

Classic England though.

[Giggles]

As strange as it sounds, it feels harsh to boo a player just for being shit. It's not like he doesn't make an effort, and nor is it his fault that England don't have any better center-backs.

Classic England though.

You’re thinking of them as humans though.

[Lofty]

As strange as it sounds, it feels harsh to boo a player just for being shit. It's not like he doesn't make an effort, and nor is it his fault that England don't have any better center-backs.

Classic England though.

England do have better centre backs.

[Spikey M]

Is Tomori as mustard as everyone makes out?

[Lewis]

He plays in Italy so probably not.

[niko_cee]

Looked an absolute mess for acey meelan against Liverpool.

Webster, Dunk and White.

[Manc]

Chalobah being overlooked imo.

[Waffdon]

They’d have to play 3 atb for him to be any use and even then I’m not sure he’s that good at all.

Levi Colwill FEC

[Shindig]

Would you take a dodgy centre-back if he was good at getting on the end of corners, though? I feel like that's how Steven Taylor got 215 appearances for us.

[Reg]

Looked an absolute mess for acey meelan against Liverpool.

Webster, Dunk and White.

Come for the puntastic Ian titles, stay to second great suggestions like this.

[Shindig]

Taking the squad to Wet and Wild has some proper divorced dad energy.

[Gray Fox]

Well that was all getting very nervy until the Watford lad decided he'd had enough and wanted to give a penalty away.

[Guybrush]

Nah, they were never scoring. Comfortable win whether 1-0 or 2-0.

[Spoonsky]

Well that was all getting very nervy until the Watford lad decided he'd had enough and wanted to give a penalty away.

One of the best tackles I've ever seen.

We'd really be nowhere near things this year without Jota.

[igor_balis]

The fuck is hodgson on about, silly old twat.

[Offshore Toon]

Would you take a dodgy centre-back if he was good at getting on the end of corners, though? I feel like that's how Steven Taylor got 215 appearances for us.

Newcastle starting dodgy defenders, in that era especially, has never been dependant on scoring goals.

[igor_balis]

Besides, didn't Newcastle spend about two seasons doing the corner routine of deliberately hitting it beyond the six yard box for someone to head it back across, and it never worked?

[Shindig]

Yeah, we went years without a headed goal until Coloccini finally knocked one in. Might've been in the Championship.

[niko_cee]

15:20 CLOSE!

Brighton 0-0 Norwich

Almost the goal of the season from Brighton.

Slick one touch passing in the box but eventually Danny Welbeck scuffs wide from six yards out.

Pretty much an entire season summed up in one livetext update.

Followed up with a missed penalty.

[Waffdon]

You have to commend Chelsea’s resilience to get absolutely battered at home by one of the relegation threatened teams every year

[Lewis]

View Tweet

Almost a shame he scored again.

[Ian]

Almost O'Shea level.

[Lewis]

View Tweet

England can't be playing that.

[Waffdon]

They’re all at it. It’s got to be a lost bet or something .

[Lewis]

Why am I watching this?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's so tragic, I decided to do some washing up during the last 15 minutes of the first half.

[Shindig]

Well, Brackley beat Gateshead to go level with a game in hand. Just the 7 games left.

[Lewis]

I'll stick with it to see if Gary Neville seethes himself to death over Marcus Rashford not playing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're not getting into Europe next year.

[Shindig]

More Freds.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's prime De Gea.

[niko_cee]

Tuchel would easily have this rabble second.

[Waffdon]

Not sure, seems more like a cup manager.

[Waffdon]

Also I’m pretty sure Varane slips there

[Lewis]

Being a mere 'cup team' is dream stuff at the minute.

[niko_cee]

Perhaps I should have added some sort of to that post.