He beat me with the edit. Mother fucker.
Mugged yourself right off, you cunt.
I still giggle at the time my dad picked up some tapes off a bloke at a church fayre thinking they were blank.
He sits down to watch them with the rest of the family present and it's nothing but 80's European porn. I want to know the conversation the bloke had with my dad when he was handing them over. Also, who brings porn to a church fayre?
Bet the seller was the more gutted of the transacting parties when the reality dawned.
He had to have known. The titles were written on the tapes.
Why did he even try to watch them if he thought they were blank?
Why was he watching them if he thought they were blank?
Giggles
Look I can't fathom how my dad's mind works.
What is it with fuckers and WhatsApp groups for work? I’ve just been added to (and immediately left) my third one in two weeks by a customer.
Phone, email, or go and lie in your shite.
"I WhatsApp my customers" is the worst flex ever.
The advantages of not being customer facing. WhatsApp is banned anyway as you need to be able to surveil communication and it's not possible to do.
Some of the others keep dual sim phones to avoid all that but fuck paying a phone bill because you’re too spineless to refuse it.
Not that I can see any more. It’s contacts or everyone.
I have refused to have even my work email on my phone, when questioned on why, I simply told them it wasn't a work phone.
Mine is though. But I still only work Monday to Friday.
Some mentalist in our team has his work email on his personal phone and once chirped up about an email we recieved whilst in Tenerife, what a sad little life Jane. Car salesman brother in law used to think he was billy big bollocks getting called by customers out of hours but eventually realised it was a mug's game. At the time I think he was in with a crowd who thought they were in The Wolf of Wall Street because they made Ł25 for every motability Fiesta they put through the books.
If I’m off at all I just divert the mobile to the office. If it’s a personal call I miss then so be it, they should have messaged anyway.
I'm more or less permanently on call so unfortunately I have to screen the calls before deciding whether to answer or not.
The Arab has just been proudly outlining his cunning plan to save money on transport by shipping our goods by road across the border between Egypt and Iraq. I gave him the benefit of the doubt the other day when he claimed not to know where France was, but on his home territory I really expected higher standards of geography.
My work managed to inadvertently employ two twinks who'd been fucking and it ended badly. They only realised when they got on the same bus, to the same location, to the same building.
They were both horrendous and after one of them passed their probationary period the other one crashed his motorbike intentionally (CCTV, he had 3.5 seconds to at least slow down before ploughing in to a car at a junction never mind swerve) and was signed off for 6 months. After the one who passed his probation was fired for a series of horrific mistakes he miraculously comes back to work, only 4 weeks in to his 6 month sign off period.
I think she's just gone back to Katie these days.
And isn't that great either way.
Don’t make me dig out the Lorraine Kelly comparison tweet.
I'm a twit
Productivity is at an all time low. Think I need taking out back with a shotgun.
Got an “away day” tomorrow morning, which I at least get a curry out of. Then there’s talk of going back to the office for the afternoon. Ehhhhh we’ll see, we’ll see.
I'm a twit
Lol someone in IT ran a script on the live environment and accidentally deleted the M365 license for all company email addresses (~40,000 people). Chaos.
If you need an MSP give me a shout.
An innocuous email at my spot regarding the filling in of reports for staff on the sick has somehow degenerated into the apocalypse with one idiot replying all to the entire company with a screenshot of some poor fucker's report including their full name, recalling it only for some somehow even more idiotic person to reply all pointing out this problem yet including said screenshot in the email chain reply. They have since recalled theirs only for another idiot to reply all an hour later, with the same screenshot
I've yet to see email recall work as it's intended, all it does it make all the uninterested people suddenly very keen to see what someone's trying to hide.
My place went full ruthless by disabling the recall function for us, which is always tremendous viewing when reply all emails get out of hand.
I’ve always maintained that folks who reply all to the whole company/massive distribution lists want immediate dismissal. I’d certainly run my company that way.
Maybe the first person who does it gets put on probation. Everyone else however, and especially those who write “STOP REPLYING ALL” while, indeed, replying-all, deserve the ban hammer.
I enjoy it purely for the 'why does somebody not know how to flush the toilet after they've had SHITTT' emails.
"Look, I don't care who it was but I was planning to have that sandwich."
Covid has downed an entire team a mere two banks away. Pray for me.
6 of our 10 currently have it after out get together last week. 3 are off sick with it today.
Stop that. Covid is over.
Work keep double paying me for my locums, which sounds lovely, except I am going to have to pay it back at some point and it's a ballache sorting it. Also makes it hard to know how much money I actually have.
Give the money to Mellin until you have to give it back. Richer than Bezos before the end of the year.
It blew up again with me and my boss to the point where I've escalated to her boss. Going to chat to him tomorrow but difficult to see how we come to any other conclusion but move me to a different boss. She's been at the point where I'd consider it bullying.
The patriarchy lives on.
How long have you worked there?