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Thread: News of the day

  1. #10951
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I dunno how anyone can remotely give a shit about things like what flag is flying.

  2. #10952
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I dunno how anyone can remotely give a shit about things like what flag is flying.
    I feel like that about most things.
    I'm a twit

  3. #10953
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59854919

    "eight people over the age of 90 who needed hospital treatment after falling from playground equipment, were recorded."

    Go on lads

  4. #10954
    I used to be funny.
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    One 90-year-old woman was admitted to hospital after being bitten or struck by a crocodile or alligator.
    How the fuck do you manage that in lockdown?

  5. #10955
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    My Mum still goes round my grandparents and finds my 91 year old grandad up trees. The day after I took him to the football, he took his tractor and trailer down to the local woods and collected a trailerful of firewood on his own. Man is a beast.

  6. #10956
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Has he got Covid again?

  7. #10957
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Oh no, wait, apparently he's constipated.


  8. #10958
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Well he has had his head stuck up there so that makes sense.

  9. #10959
    I used to be funny.
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    News just in: Bolsonaro full of shit.

  10. #10960
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Made sure she took a selfie in the ambulance for the gram.


  11. #10961
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Australian versions of The Masked Singer and I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! in 2021

    What an irrelevant mong.

  12. #10962
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/new...-meet-22623356

    Warehouse worker Paul Martin had his bags packed and was ready to fly to the Alabama hospital bed of former top global porn star Sasha Grey.

    The 52-year-old bachelor was also ready to send Ł1,700 for the medication the X-rated Californian needed to save her life.

    Then the Sunday Mercury burst the fan’s bubble.

    We have found no evidence Ms Grey, whose body of cinematic work includes The Porn Diaries, Dawn of Sex and Bang Gang (A Modern Love Story), is battling for life in the UAB Hospital, Madison County, Alabama, as Mr Martin,from Rugby, has been informed.

    We have been unable to contact the medic who sent a pleading message to Paul which included the emotive line: “Send Ł1,700 or she will die.”

    He is the unwitting victim of a porn scam.

    Ms Grey, who turned her back on the X rated industry 10 years ago to successfully pursue a mainstream career, is also an unwitting victim of the salacious con.

    Her name has been used without her knowledge to prise money from punters.

    Paul – despite being presented with our evidence – still intends to fly to the Deep South on Friday. He has paid Ł600 for a flight.

    He admits to working “72 hours for the last 14 weeks” to finance the mercy dash.

    “If I don’t see her, I don’t see her,” he shrugged. “I’d like to visit the place, anyway. I think it’s got mountains"

  13. #10963
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    A bangs a bang.

  14. #10964
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Bro, just go on Twitch. She streamed a few days ago.

  15. #10965
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Twitch doesn't have mountains, dick head.

  16. #10966
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I can't think of a less desirable place to visit than fucking Alabama.

  17. #10967
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You've not been to the West Midlands.

  18. #10968
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Fair enough.

  19. #10969
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's basically Alabama but with an even worse accent. And rain.

  20. #10970
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    And more interbreeding.

  21. #10971
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Of course he's from here ffs

  22. #10972
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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  23. #10973
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Bro, just go on Twitch. She streamed a few days ago.
    If she isn't drinking a cocktail of baby batter that has leaked out of her arse I'm not bothered.

  24. #10974
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Phweurgh.

  25. #10975
    I used to be funny.
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    Four of the whitest people you'll find.

    Topknot wearing a fucking tie and jeans to court whilst the others stick with hastily made campaign t-shirts.

  26. #10976
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Is that embarrassing failed state shit really as simple as the jury agreeing that it was a good idea? Because that could get out of hand.

  27. #10977
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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  28. #10978
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    It isn't Ceefax without Bamboozle.

  29. #10979
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    It isn't Ceefax without Bamboozle.
    Wasn’t that on the ITV/C4 version?

  30. #10980
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Is that embarrassing failed state shit really as simple as the jury agreeing that it was a good idea? Because that could get out of hand.
    As long as you are on 'the right side of history.'

  31. #10981
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    This flag shagging MP who is demanding the National Anthem played on tv everyday and kids singing it in school once a week is definitely wearing spunky Union Jack Y fronts.

  32. #10982
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I did like with that clip Nadine Dorries stretching the definition of 'fantastic' to absolute breaking point with "Fantastic question!"

    Personally I think all programming should be replaced with the national anthem. Including streaming platforms. If they want to make money over here they can respect our customs.

    Anyway, I came to post this:


    Couple of follow-up posts in the thread.

    Very "Jimmy's over-the-road neighbour" vibes off this fella's dad.
    Last edited by Ian; 07-01-2022 at 08:52 AM.

  33. #10983
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'll support his proposal on the condition we change the national anthem to I Vow To Thee, or Land of 'ope and Glory. The Germanic dirge we currently have is a nonsense.

  34. #10984
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    If only we had a way to play the national anthem on demand like some sort of music or video platform.

    It's another nonsense comment though to capture the attention of the "woke" and then say how they don't love Britain when Jim Felton makes a funny.

  35. #10985
    I used to be funny.
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    Just re-write Three Lions and everyone's happy.

  36. #10986
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    It's proper North Korea shit and we shouldn't be doing it.

  37. #10987
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Is that embarrassing failed state shit really as simple as the jury agreeing that it was a good idea? Because that could get out of hand.
    I was always under the impression that if people basically admit offences in open court then the judge has to direct the jury to return a guilty verdict [they don't get to just decide whatever they want] so there must have been something else at play here. That said, I didn't know 'the right side of history' and/or 'Bristol City Council have been cunts for years' were actual legal defences.

  38. #10988
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I've no idea if that Secret Barrister on the Twitter is full of shit but they said:
    Since the 17th century, juries have been entitled to acquit a defendant for any reason. They are not explicitly told this – they are directed by the judge that they must reach verdicts based on the evidence they have heard. But a judge cannot force a jury to convict. So the jury retains the prerogative to acquit, irrespective of the strength of the case against a defendant, and the courts cannot interfere (sometimes referred to as a “perverse verdict” or “jury nullification”). This principle is embedded into our common law.
    I've just found the bit I saw tweeted but the full waffle is here: https://thesecretbarrister.com/2022/...u-should-know/

    If anything that just strikes me as something that'll make those who want politicians to be able to change any verdicts they don't like the look of even more adamant about it.

  39. #10989
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That just reads as their lawyers threw enough shit at the wall and some of it stuck.

    Pretty unusual for criminal damage to go to the crown court anyway so it was always likely they'd get off [I think you have a better than 50% chance of acquittal in a jury trial].

  40. #10990
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They seem to have argued that a) the statue being up was the real crime; and b) that the people who 'owned' the statue wouldn't have minded. They both seem like balls given that the local government had consistently chosen not to remove it, but it sounds like there could be interesting implications for anyone bashing a paedophile because the state had chosen to be lenient and endanger the locals.

  41. #10991
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It was a political hearing with just as political an outcome.

    Choose who you want to annoy; the statue staggers that will sit and tut and the Daily Mail tomorrow morning, or the Antifa bods that are likely to smash London up and Piss on Churchill.

  42. #10992
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    It's a ridiculous outcome, with potential consequences far graver (as Lewis describes). Don't these things set precedents as well?

  43. #10993
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I don't think they set formal precedent, but it will give people grounds to challenge things. That said, it will all still have to come under sanctioned vigilantism, so [increased] free rein to assault 'racists' (but not anyone directly involved in politics) and vandalising things on climate grounds. Something which the 'lol lets smash Karl Marx' professional right-wing wankers have all missed.

  44. #10994
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    Looks like it might set some form of precedent without further clarification:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-59909823

    Ms Braverman said she would decide whether to use powers that, as Attorney General, allow her to seek a Court of Appeal hearing so senior judges "have the opportunity to clarify the law for future cases".

  45. #10995
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    A Conservative government with a large majority would simply legislate to protect historic monuments with specific offences (and probably do so in about a week), rather than just treating it as if you kicked a fence down. Maybe if we get one one day.

    Interesting to note that the original BBC story refers to taking the knee as a 'symbolic gesture of the BLM movement', having been assured for eighteen months solid that it definitely wasn't. That could do with some clarification as well.

  46. #10996
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    A jury can't set precedent.

  47. #10997
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    A jury can't set precedent.
    Maybe precedent is the wrong word then, but the outcome of this case appears to suggest that it's absolute fine to commit criminal damage if the target of such damage is deemed deserving of it. You might have to go to court, but get a sympathetic jury and you're golden.

    No idea how they clarify it as anything other than that, so I'm genuinely intrigued.

  48. #10998
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It’s called Jury Nullification and has existed since juries have existed. It’s not the end of the world as we know it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    You might have to go to court, but get a sympathetic jury and you're golden.
    Hence why you can challenge the jury and prosecution has the right to stand jurors too.

  49. #10999
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, mistrials are a thing. Everyone has biases. The key thing is keeping your mouth shut and an open mind.

  50. #11000
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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