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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #6501
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Godspeed.

  2. #6502
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Considering the events of the last month I would be wanting a paternity test.
    I think if it was anyone else then I'd be right with you there but I have zero concerns in that regard here. I still can't really get my head around it all.

  3. #6503
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Godspeed.
    You endorsed this idea a number of years ago in a WDYTOE thread. Apparently it would have helped me in some way but just the news has absolutely done me in. A little part of me thinks/hopes I'll wake up and its just a dream but its not and I got figure out where to start and what to start with.

    Just completely not prepared for a child.

  4. #6504
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lft paternity

  5. #6505
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I never anticipated having children and it was never an issue with Romanian ex because she couldn't have them anyway but for a very long time, I had this dark though, stemming back many years but if I was ever to find myself with someone that I loved enough and she wanted kids, I'd obviously do it if I felt it was going to be the lifetime partner, part of the reason I didn't/don't want kids is there is rarely such a thing as a lifetime partner but this next part has always been an odd thought that seemingly came from nowhere one day.

    I'll find that rare love, we'll have a child but because I have been a cunt and so against having kids as well, one of two things will happen when the time comes. First one, partner dies during the pregnancy leaving me with a child I didn't really want and the second is they both die. No idea where it came from but figured it would be life's way of giving me a pasting.

    I had anticipated having my own house, being financially secure and certain beyond belief that the person I was with and agreed to have a child with was someone who'd be there forever, because that belief was in my mind so unrealistic, having kids was never going to be an option. It's still unrealistic because as much as I love her, the fact we were going our own ways said it all and I'm so far from being financially secure and owning my own place its not even funny. Its not 2020 bad but I'm probably only one missed payday away from being in a spot of bother.

    I think I'm in big trouble either way but the one saving grace I have, without going too personal, is I made such a big thing growing up about my own father and the history attached to that, is that all I have to do in my mind is give time, love and attention and then the kid will have half a chance.

    Fuck knows, just not got a clue.

  6. #6506
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Good luck smiff. We're ten days away from ours arriving and it's a strange experience. I'm sure you'll be a great dad.

  7. #6507
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Good luck Tim, I’m sure once they arrive you’ll just get on and be fine.
    And good luck Kiko, take a pillow and a blanket to the hospital!

  8. #6508
    I used to be funny.
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    Nah, just stay awake. The last thing you want is to sleep in a corridor and for some press twat to make an article out of it.

  9. #6509
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    Good luck Tim, I’m sure once they arrive you’ll just get on and be fine.
    And good luck Kiko, take a pillow and a blanket to the hospital!
    She's coming with a c section so shouldn't be too long to wait.

  10. #6510
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Too posh to push'.

  11. #6511
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Medical necessity rather than vanity. Research on that.

  12. #6512
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, my mam went the same way. A normal birth would've definitely killed her.

  13. #6513
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Didn’t realise you were expecting, Kiko. Congratulations.

  14. #6514
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My condolences to you both
    I'm a twit

  15. #6515
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    You endorsed this idea a number of years ago in a WDYTOE thread. Apparently it would have helped me in some way but just the news has absolutely done me in. A little part of me thinks/hopes I'll wake up and its just a dream but its not and I got figure out where to start and what to start with.

    Just completely not prepared for a child.
    I would have been implicitly hoping for a stable relationship to go with it.

    You can deal with anything, it's just that some things take a bit of getting used to.

  16. #6516
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Medical necessity rather than vanity. Research on that.
    It's got Giggles' big Irish head.

  17. #6517
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Can't believe Kiko paid off the doctors so as not to ruin his wife's snatch.

  18. #6518
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Absolutely cuntish banter above.

  19. #6519
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I lolled at how weirdly out of character it was. Like GS trying to make a tradesman laugh.

  20. #6520
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Medical necessity rather than vanity. Research on that.
    e.g. vasa previa

    good luck, and fingers crossed the surgery and recovery go smoothly.

  21. #6521
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Stay at the head end Kiko.

    This applies to all births, but particularly for the out the sun roof types.

  22. #6522
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'd stay in the waiting room if I had a choice.

  23. #6523
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I held one of my wife's legs, gave her some oxygen in between pushes, etc. Like a player-manager.

  24. #6524
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I read that as punches

  25. #6525
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Given the choice "I'd" take a C-section every day of the week.

    It's not that bad Keeks, they put a screen up so you can't see anything at the business end (unless you want to).

  26. #6526
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I don't.

  27. #6527
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Baby would just ram his fist out the pussy, give Kiko the thumbs up.

  28. #6528
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It is proper wild standing off to one side during a section and seeing the contrast between an awake and alert head chatting away at one end and a wide open abdomen with a baby being pulled out the other side of the screen.

  29. #6529
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My wife has had 2 and they are properly weird experiences. We all had a bet on how much the baby would weigh whilst it was going on. Surreal. I imagine far less stressful than a normal delivery though.

    The only downside is the recovery time and the long list of things that the mum can't do for the next 6 weeks.

  30. #6530
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm hoping Omicron doesn't stop the mother in law from coming over to help between weeks 2-6 tbh.

  31. #6531
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    A friend of mine feinted when the placenta was being taken out post section, he thought it was the liver. /

    Normal delivery is way better, just get the nuclear pain relief in and you're away [the horror of the process of putting the epidural in notwithstanding].
    Last edited by niko_cee; 20-12-2021 at 03:05 PM.

  32. #6532
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    My wife has had 2 and they are properly weird experiences. We all had a bet on how much the baby would weigh whilst it was going on. Surreal. I imagine far less stressful than a normal delivery though.

    The only downside is the recovery time and the long list of things that the mum can't do for the next 6 weeks.
    I attended a couple of post mortems a few weeks ago. We got all the organs out and all took turns guessing the weight of the heart, liver, kidneys etc all while Billy Joel played over the sound system. Surgeons just are in a world of their own.

  33. #6533
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7om View Post
    I attended a couple of post mortems a few weeks ago. We got all the organs out and all took turns guessing the weight of the heart, liver, kidneys etc all while Billy Joel played over the sound system. Surgeons just are in a world of their own.
    What do you mean attended? You bought a ticket for an event to go watch a scene from Saw or was it for education purposes?

  34. #6534
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    What do you mean attended? You bought a ticket for an event to go watch a scene from Saw or was it for education purposes?
    Educational.

  35. #6535
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Respect to you.

  36. #6536
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7om View Post
    I attended a couple of post mortems a few weeks ago. We got all the organs out and all took turns guessing the weight of the heart, liver, kidneys etc all while Billy Joel played over the sound system. Surgeons just are in a world of their own.
    I'm not sure pathologists really count as surgeons given the patient is already dead

  37. #6537
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Uptown girl
    You've been living in an uptown world
    We'll put your tissue in the 'cold blood can'
    I'm gonna guess your liver's two pounds ten?
    I'll guess again

  38. #6538
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I'm not sure pathologists really count as surgeons given the patient is already dead
    True. It’s the mortuary technicians who are the truly hardcore. I walked in as he was “prepping” the body for the pathologist. That involved him taking a pair of garden shears and cutting all the anterior ribs off.

  39. #6539
    Fuck like you cook.
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    What did you get for Christmas? Me? Well, I got nothing, I got no say, I have absolutely gone south as I can't process a thing.

    She had an abortion and whilst I feel it's the right thing long term, I am absolutely 1,000% sick to the stomach because I got no say in it. Or at least I don't think I did. Paranoid man in me wonders if it was a test and I failed it because all I had was that I'll support you in whatever you feel is right for you, not for us. She chose that. Was that my say? Did I actually get a say? Have I fucked up here? I mean, guys, wtf? It's been a whirlwind of a year for sure but am I overreacting or being foolish to think wtf wtf? How? Why? Just doesn't feel right at all. I didn't/don't want kids, I've known that for a long time but man, wtf? Can one of you help me here? I mean, it's probably the right thing long term right? But yeah, wtf? Am I a cunt here because I legit don't know if I've messed up or not, did I reply right? FUCK!!

  40. #6540
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Seriously. How can you not believe in abortion and then proceed to have a fucking abortion?

    It doesn't make sense but right now, fuck all makes sense. WTF!?

    I feel conflicted to fuck, is it karma taking a stab at me, no no Smjff, you're not having this or is it fate ensuring that something I am so not ready for, or rather, was not ready for dealing me a helping hand?

    I am seriously in a world of fuck right now. What am I meant to do? I feel gutted, I feel relieved, I feel angry, bitter, guilty, sad, upset, just....why? If it's done, it's done, you own your mistakes(?), you don't just take a pill or whatever and hit reset, do you? WTF?!

  41. #6541
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Seriously. How can you not believe in abortion and then proceed to have a fucking abortion?
    Pretty easily. People hold views about stuff all the time but then don't follow through with those beliefs when it actually affects them. See also: people who give off about others not following covid regulations but then don't properly follow them themselves.

    It sounds shit and you should take some time to process it and maybe talk to a counsellor or something. It's probably the right thing in the long term though.

  42. #6542
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Plus that 'one or both of them die scenario' never came to pass. Every cloud.

  43. #6543
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Pretty easily. People hold views about stuff all the time but then don't follow through with those beliefs when it actually affects them. See also: people who give off about others not following covid regulations but then don't properly follow them themselves.

    It sounds shit and you should take some time to process it and maybe talk to a counsellor or something. It's probably the right thing in the long term though.
    I do think you're right, long term, its probably the best outcome but just feels....I don't know, all I have is wtf tbh. I don't need nor want to talk to a counsellor as I imagine I'll be fine once it's registered and it's too late now anyway init. I've just thought of so many things, like, did she do it because she felt I didn't want it? Did she do it for herself and her future? Or did she do it because she felt I wasn't part of that future? Or because she didn't think I'd be good enough? Or pfft. I don't know, just feel like I have a million questions and no way to get the answers for them We're done. 100% done. I've just been in a bit of a work work work work mode, try forget, be too busy to think about it too much but you know, off today and well, what the actual fuck?

  44. #6544
    I used to be funny.
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    Cutting you out of the loop is pretty shit, to be honest. You agreed to fuck. You should agree on this.

  45. #6545
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    A lot of those questions would be best by asking her but in all honesty, she was probably not ready for a child and took the option to stop the pregnancy. It must be horrible to have to deal with for both of you. I don't think you gain anything from blaming or tormenting yourself, this is clearly a complex emotional decision that she had to make.

  46. #6546
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Condoms, use them.

  47. #6547
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Cutting you out of the loop is pretty shit, to be honest. You agreed to fuck. You should agree on this.
    I don't know if she did. I mean, I didn't outright say get rid but I did say she should do what is best for her, did I unwittingly give her the licence to then do it? I mean, I was just saying what I thought was the right thing to say. I didn't think she'd actually decide to get rid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    A lot of those questions would be best by asking her but in all honesty, she was probably not ready for a child and took the option to stop the pregnancy. It must be horrible to have to deal with for both of you. I don't think you gain anything from blaming or tormenting yourself, this is clearly a complex emotional decision that she had to make.
    I really wish I could (although not sure it would help any) but I've been ghosted completely since Christmas Eve, blocked on all platforms and she's not returned after going away. I know I need to take into account her feelings and what not, I just, how do you even start? I don't mean to blame or torment myself, I feel guilty and rotten for sure but I don't know if I feel guilty because I feel relieved as well as way too many other emotions that I'm just not cut out for. Do I even have a right to be feeling as I do since all I did was have sex, she would have been doing everything else for 9 months init. Did I want her to get an abortion too without really realising it? I only stepped up because I fucked up after all, I believed that was the right thing to do but even a few weeks ago, I was pretty terrified by the prospect of having a mini me wandering about and yet now....now this. I genuinely am stuck at wtf right now. FML

    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Condoms, use them.
    Majority of the time we did and on the rare occasions we didn't, we did get the morning after pill (2/3 times I believe) but yeah, can't really argue with you.

  48. #6548
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah pull one over her head and suffocate her.

  49. #6549
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Smiffy she sounds like a dickhead and she has well and truly messed you about. You can't lose it over this.

  50. #6550
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Smiffy, it's not your body. You had no control over it. Try and not beat yourself up over someone else's decision.

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