Nobody has ever been to the job centre and then to Waitrose in the same day
I'm a twit
There's a fair chance the staff have.
Of the twelve occasions I've been requested to work from the office, I've only shown my face on three occasions. The seeth from the wider team is superb. Hopefully Bojo gives the WFH order today whilst they cry into thier meal deals.
Has that got any chance to catch up to you?
Nope. I'm surprised more people haven't tried it on tbh. My manager hasn't even completed her induction.
Some of us have a sense of togetherness and respect for our peers.
Poor fuckers. Must be terrible.
Christmas Party postponed
Amazingly, we won't lose a penny - we'll reschedule for the new year.
Ours was rearranged to a better spot and the two I couldn’t listen to all night aren’t going but I wasn’t asked to the new one
Presumably he’d declined the original.
I'm a twit
So they're rearranging for the people that accepted. Just fire off a quick email saying "the new date suits me alot better. Can I come please?" and job done.
Anyone originally not going were removed from any correspondance about the new one and they've booked the rooms for people now anyway. Not really pushed (and in fairness knowing me I wouldn't want to go when it came to the time) but I'd probably have said yes originally if I'd known the venue and lineup.
Been told all the stuff we are working on which is massive volumes of data that needs sorting to tight deadlines right across christmas is probably not going to be used now, but we have to do it anyway
We have been told that we can work from home if we 'feel uncomfortable coming in to work', but, with a couple of possible exceptions, we've all got far too much self-respect to go for it.
Impromptu half day + Monday off = glorious scenes.
No change to the working patterns. I'm mildly annoyed.
I just had a truly cringeworthy moment. My colleague and I were discussing a problem, and neither of us knew the answer, so matey said he was going to consult the Indian guy (at that moment, away from his desk) who knows everything. He said what's the word for that. I said the word for what? He said you know, those Indian guys who know everything. I said what, guru? He said yes. I'll call him that. I said don't call him a guru. He said why not? I said just don't. He said I don't understand, why can't I call him a guru? I said because, you know, it's difficult. You can call other people a guru, but probably not him.
So the Indian guy comes back, and matey steams up to him. Apparently I can't call you a guru, says matey. I'm not a guru, says the Indian guy. Oh well, I'll have to call you something else, says matey. What was your question, says the Indian guy.
Proper full-body cringe.
You've got an hour to work 'curry favour' into a sentence.
Surely you can call him a guru if he knows everything. You’re calling him a guru cos he knows everything, not cos he’s Indian.
I'm a twit
I had a similarly dodgy moment the other day when I said a colleague had 'saved my bacon'. He was a dirty gammon and I a jew so I'd really landed myself in it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's alright to call an Indian guy a guru (maybe not all the time and all Indian guys) if he does happen to know everything on the topic you were discussing.
Jimmy is properly out of touch.
Don't worry, Jimmy--I understand what these colonials don't.
Jimmy has taken “How Not to Get Cancelled in the Workplace 101”
Just googled "Guru Sunak" to see if any sketchy news outlets had used it. I was almost disappointed to see it hadn't been picked up, but I suppose it's a really shit and tenuous pun and anyone who would know who guru Nanak is would rightly be offended.
Never knew guru was an Indian thing.
There's some Drama brewing at work as one of the top managers is going off on Maternity leave and her collection has clearly received a less than generous reception.
"We really want to give Jo the temporary sending off that she deserves"
"I know it's nearly Christmas, but please dig deep".
Now It could be Christmas, or it could be because she's a knob that breezes around being rude to people. I just hope the donated amount is offensively low. I might send 20p over.
Put coppers in it.
It's all being done by bank transfer, sadly. Otherwise I'd just tick my name and put nothing in.
Collections for senior people always strike me as bizarre. We all had to put in a couple of years back to fund a present for the big boss's 80th birthday, which was a large framed photo of all his staff, taken in the foyer, all wearing company hats/t shirts etc. We presented it to him in his office, he sat there looking at it for a minute like a dog looking at a Titian, and sent us all away. £10 well spent.
I stopped contributing to collections since WFH. Fuck off, you melts.
Yeah, presents for team leaders always struck me as odd.
Every year my company expects people to volunteer to work friday and saturday nights to help with large scale events. There is no pay for this. It was observed by a senior manager yesterday that the number of volunteers this year was disappointing, immediately followed by a doom briefing regarding covid with no hint of irony
Yep, if someone senior is leaving of their own accord then they buy the drinks. If they're leaving because they've been pushed, well, you won't see them anyway.
I'm still not happy about this idea of bringing sweets in for other people on your birthday, it's the opposite of how the day should work.
I still can't believe you lot do that.
One of the women in work hid the tub of roses we were left in from a supplier because two of us ate ones she wated.
Applied for a new job internally today. Was unsure about going for it but the girl leaving basically persuaded me to apply and spent an hour today making my cover letter less shit. She thinks I've got a chance of getting it and it sounds like barely anyone else has applied so who knows. I am a bit raw and lacking in some of the experience they want, but I think it's about 5 grand below the going rate for the job (but also about 5 grand more than I'm on), so taking a punt on me is probably about the best they can hope for. I don't think anyone else internally is interested, so I reckon I'll be against other people similarly so-so against the spec but with the advantage of #knowingtheclub. A binman in a corporate t shirt who knows how to use the archaic CRM basically.
Or they'll pick someone outside the business. I fully expect our outgoing team leader to get replaced by someone not from within.
Also, what a shit day I've just had. Nobody's managing their own workloads at the minute because we've all got 4 fucking side-jobs.
Let’s not be dissing bin men nonchalantly. They’re an extremely valuable form of employment.
I’ve got three days left, and I plan on doing 0 work on the last one, so technically two.
However, we are currently working over a well and it is not going well. Entirely plausible it rumbles into next week and my lead demands I support it.
We care about people and mental health, except when their mental health gets in the way of production and then we care about production.
Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but will be an option interesting test case.