Oh no.Originally Posted by SvN
Oh no.
It will be an announcement/meeting rather than an email, but basically, yes.
"We wish him and his futuresuicidewife well."
Sorry, I'm projecting from seven years at this place and Korea. Direct verbal communication from management, that's unthinkable.
* Blue Christmas starts to play *
Good luck SvN, never a pleasant thing to have to do.
I always find it goes better when you inject a bit of entertaining into proceedings...
Can you live stream it?
You can literally see the moment his heart breaks.
Can't you just put him on some sort of PIP for a couple of months or something?
Shinners will tell you PIP is a difficult benefit to claim so he'd have to really fuck him up.
What's the return policy on engagement rings like?
Honestly, I wish I could, I'm sat here watching the clock knowing that I've got to do it in just over 2 hours. But he's had 3 reviews already where he's been told how and where he needs to improve, and if anything, he's got worse. And he's only been here 4 months.Can't you just put him on some sort of PIP for a couple of months or something?
It's a fucking nightmare to have to do, but it's the right call.
This is superb
Lol
Get down on one knee and hand him his P45.
He's probably firing him right now. Poor bloke.
Poor form not providing live updates after getting us all to buy in like this.
Fuck me. That was awful.
Tears, begging for another chance, talks of financial peril, the works. I feel like subhuman scum.
On his way out of the door, he even had one final "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" plea.
You should have reached for your zip to see what the reaction would have been.
How do you sleep at night?
On a waterbed filled with the tears of former employees.
Comfortably I’d imagine seeing as he requires competent people to work for him.
@phonics You're looking for a new position, right? I hear tell of a design job that just opened up.
And then you can have your life destroyed a few months later.
What do you say when you sack somebody simply for being shit? It must really blow your confidence to bits (as it should the mug who hired him).
"I love you, and that's why I'm setting you free to fulfil your full potential."
The problem is interviews are inherently flawed. The amount of times I have clocked someone as a chancer/warned the relevant people about appointing a clown only for them to do it anyway because they aced the interview, only to shit at the job as predicted.
Interviews don't tell you someone is mental, they don't tell you someone is a lead swinger, they don't tell you someone is a tribunal waiting to happen. We once got a glowing referral for an internal candidate from their manager purely to palm off a tribunal timebomb on us, they interviewed well but were absolute dogshit at the actual job.
You really wanted that driver job didn't you?
PM me.
edit: didn't read the thread. whoops.
Like I said at the time, incompetence should not be tolerated. Glad you sacked him.
I'm a twit
With a dodgy affiliate link.
The guy will be fine. Jobs market is chocker at the moment. We're having to use nepotism to get half-decent people (kids of senior people at least have the motivation of not embarrassing their dad, whereas useless people off the street are just useless).
The Arab is taking us out for lunch for his birthday today (and paying). Slightly weird flex for the newest and most junior member of the team, but I guess that's Arabs for you. I'll take the free lunch.
Does he have nice shoes?
I'm a twit
Teach him the ways of the gammon. Kindness, generosity and morals have no place in this society.
He was certainly in for a shock when he asked Bitch Alpha from the shipping department, who snapped back 'NO' upon the invitation. Then again she also once told the IT guy his baby pictures were 'horrible', so I don't think she's ever topping that.
Yesterday we were emailed about a woman trying to claim PIP for their 7 year old. The claim was in the stepmother's name but the forms were written from the point of the 7 year old. In their mother's writing. "Someone told me I could do that." seems to be her response.
She actually lives in London doesn't she?
He's a bit of a character, this Arab. He insists on pronouncing John Deere as 'John Derry'. I told him that customers will laugh at him. He says he doesn't care, he finds this a better pronunciation and he's sticking to it.
He also poured around 60 cashews onto my desk earlier. He said he thought I would be hungry, as he's never seen me eating at my desk. Is this how people behave over there? It must be exhausting.
I got a kebab a few weeks ago and the supplier was in there at the same time. I had to stand and watch as they argued and repeatedly handed a £20 note backwards and forwards. Performatively putting it in each others pockets and hands and holding the back of each others heads.
"I can't take it from you brother. Keep it".
No, no, no. You must. Treat your daughter
"I WILL, I WILL, BUT KEEP YOUR MONEY AND TREAT YOUR DAUGH..."
BROTHER PLEASE HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU?
It was like one of those weird mating rituals the Birds of Paradise do. Utterly bizarre.
Bizarre to an infidel, yes.
It just sounds like the same as what my mum and her friends would do when I was a kid over who was buying the teas or whatever if I had the misfortune to be dragged out with them.
It's all that time you spent in the desert.
The basic rules with Arabs seems to be that whatever the given situation, you maximise the drama, conflict and general spectacle. Sort of like the opposite of being British.
And that's exactly what it was. It is the whole "No you're alright Jim, I'll get these".... "No, honestly, put your money away" that Ian describes, but turned up to eleven and they're on the brink of actually fighting over who has the £20 and treat's their daughter.
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