WDYTOE 2021 - Pandemic Edition - The List?

[randomlegend]

PM Bam he'll tell you.

[Kikó]

How old are you lot now, mid 30's? The gap gets smaller.

I think the gap will always remain the same.

[Giggles]

I think the gap will always remain the same.

Or at least go sideways.

[Offshore Toon]

If I remember rightly, Bam was about 31-33 when he was sending intimidating voice messages to 15-year-old Amigo on MSN, who I think is a year younger than me, so that makes Bam 62-64 using the widening gap theory.

[SincereTheRebel]

@Yevrah stop being a dick and put a direct link to everybody's list in the original post.

[Yevrah]

@Yevrah stop being a dick and put a direct link to everybody's list in the original post.

I like you Sincere, quite a bit actually, but like fuck am I spending time doing that.

[randomlegend]

Shindig:

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-james- - Alreet. Seems to have caught a bit of stick during the Euro 2020 thread for I dunno, having more than one opinion. Seems fine.
7om - Zom. That's how I always read that in my head. Another solid poster.
Adamski - Can't complain much about them. There's definitely a chunk of regulars (or semi-regulars) that tow a steady line.
Adramelch - I put him in that camp as well. Decent if you want a Greek perspective on something.
Alan Shearer The 2nd - Sound. One thing about the Scots contingent is they're not boring and always have stuff to say.
Alex - Decent. Offers decent opinions about hip hop and chimes in on other stuff occasionally.
Andrew - I think he's getting miffed by Covid but then everybody is.
Andy - Could probably class him as a stalwart but that's most of us. Solid.
AyDee - One that's always hard to recall. Not a bad thing.
Bam - He's fun. Speaks his mind like a Spikey with a normal-sized head.
Baz - I admire his grift.
Bernanke - Another member of the international crew. Nice to see we still have those around.
Boydy - Another steady constant. Has his moments.
Browning - Yeah, same here. Doesn't really go looking for conflict and fairly steady.
bruhnaldo - Florida man. Goes AWOL quite a bit but definitely stands out as a man in his 30's talking like a 14 year old girl.
Byron - I've just imagined him and Bam as a double-act. In reality he's probably his own man.
CJay - Decent. Another one that doesn't raise the needle that much.
Clunge - Forgot about him til he posted yesterday. Sounds like he's doing alright.
Cord - I can't tell you the last time they posted. Apparently it's April in the Super League thread. That was a fun week.
Dan - Wrestling pervert? Except maybe not as deep into it as he was?
Danny - Or is it this one? Nah, probably a different bloke.
Dark Soldier - Memorable.
Dave. - Solid when he turns up.
Davgooner - And him.
Disco - Good and an excellent moustache.
Don - Takes up a gym membership so he can sit down in a room topless for 20 minutes a week. Like those fat women that take up swimming.
Dquincy - He's been good in the covid thread. Sound.
five time - Yeah, this just highlights how few of this thread really stay in my memory. Probably fine.
Foe - Don't die in a helicopter. You're alright.
Giggles - Glad to see him back. We need Irish stereotypes now that Henry's long gone and Pavel's stuck on twitter squealing about gender.
Gray Fox - Good lad. Another one that slips under the radar sometimes but regular enough I don't forget him.
Guybrush - Okay. Another one I can't remember when he posted last.
hfswjyr - New Zealander. Might actually be the only one on the board. Seems fine.
Ian - Consistently good and a decent laugh.
igor_balis - Best of luck on getting the Masters. Hopefully it gets you out of working a bank counter. Has plenty of daft stories that are worth reading.
ItalAussie - We don't see enough of them but it's hard to settle down when you're locked down every fortnight.
Jimmy Floyd - His lockdown work stories and tales of cricket club bureaucracy are a joy to read. I still miss little Seoul but the International Man of Tractors arc is fine.
John - Got away from here and it sounds like for the better. Hope he's doing well because staying here would've just wound him up. Wish I could follow that lead, at times.
John Arne - Probably in prison for a minor or massively major criminal offence.
Josh - New Yorker. There. I know one thing about him. Get fucked, Josh.
Kikó - Pretty good. Informal drinks is a very formal way of putting it, though.
Lewis - Top of the pile. Could write a readable book on this place. What a terrifying prospect.
Limoutsonik - Is he the other Greek?
Lofty - When you think about it, Rollercoasters are trains. Good to have around.
Luca - Radio silent these days but very helpful in the days of setting the current forum up.
Luke Emia - Good stuff. Not much to complain about.
Magic - Scotland's biggest natural disaster.
Manc - Another solid one.
Max Power - Decent but another one that seems to have taken time away from here.
Mazuuurk - HOW AM I ONLY IN THE M'S!? Carries a solid reputation.
Mellberg - Really enjoys the fact Villa are heading in the right direction. Deserves the good rep he gets.
Mike - He's still Baz's sensible brother but doesn't talk about how fulfilling it is to help kids with special needs. It probably feels like work now.
mikem - American politics man who we won't see much of til the next election. Unless he's dead.
mo - Good.
mugbull - Decent although we'll see how Spurs get on this season.
niko_cee - Another good one. Seems like Liverpool fans around here are a good bunch.
Offshore Toon - Pretty sound. I'm gonna guess living away from the mainland has meant the last year has been slightly less bollocks.
Panda Bear - Barely wakes up from a maple syrup induced coma.
Pen - Yay, another foreign one.
Pepe - And another! Likes his racing sims and motorsport which gives me something to talk about besides Newcastle.
phonics - How long's left of that notice? Entertaining if a little erratic.
Pleb - Another one that seems to have drifted away but alright when he turns up.
P_3 - Is he the one with the penguin avatar?
Queenslander - Perfectly alright. It'll be a sad day when his spider eats him.
randomlegend - His transfer bollocks is quite, quite mad. Should probably focus more on the dying children.
Raoul Duke - Another good one.
Reg - And him. I only really see him the football threads but he's a level-headed fan.
ScousePig - Another one who feels like he's gone forever. Decent, though.
Serj - Token Austrian. It's good to have these voices around with matters of global importance or that time terrorists shot up Vienna.
Shindig - That's me. My memory is shit.
SincereTheRebel - Another entertaining one. Went through a rough patch and did the smart thing of sacking this place off whilst he got it together.
Sir Andy Mahowry - Hates the soil he stands on. Bit of a shambles.
Smjffy - Vanishes frequently because he never holds a chef job down or something. A bigger shambles than Mahow.
Spammer - A bigger shambles than Smiffy.
Spikey M - Great, although his avatar makes me double-take that he's not Lofty.
Spoonsky - Inoffensive.
SvN - Another one crucial for putting the site together. And a good poster to boot.
TG09 - Another absentee, for the most part. I bet all these people are living cool lives.
The Merse - I get him and Manc confused for reasons not even I can explain. Another one of the good Scottish crew.
thommo - Suffered with him during the last season. Fulham were shit but offered him a slight glimmer of hope. Decent poster.
Trancemeister - Will probably be alright once the clubs open. Unless Sweden's already sorted.
Vercetti - I've come to realise the West Ham contingent are all canny.
Waffdon - If you told me he was Magic's social worker, I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Solid.
wullie - Always witty and seems to be posting more these days. Or he's just memorable when he does it.
Yeldoow - Barely features.
Yevrah - Needs some new hobbies away from a screen. The Euros and the pandemic have really done a number on him.

Giggles:

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-james- - Bit of a smarmy twat and worst taste in music in history but nothing very offensive about him.
7om - Zom. No idea, I always think he’s Niko.
Adamski - Billy big bollocks but not really around I think.
Alan Shearer The 2nd - Cars. Scottish.
Andy - The only workman here
Bam - Fackin give it a wobble innit.
Baz - Dodgy as fuck. I’d say he’d ship Mike off to African pirates for a fiver.
Boydy - Haven’t noticed a big pile but seem’s grand still.
bruhnaldo - Is he still on a hissy fit?
CJay - More English than most of you.
Dark Soldier - Watered down these days. Is he still about?
Disco - I only know him as a little englander.
Don - Like Magic but veering a little more comedy and a little rest repulsive.
Dquincy - Sound enough
Gray Fox - Not a bother.
Ian - Funny. Sensible. Beer.
igor_balis - Still a zany parody. Who was the lad with the ginger afro in the Fast Show?
ItalAussie - “We’re” Italian
Jimmy Floyd - Another little englander but more wit behind it that most of the crew.
John - Pity he’s not about still.
John Arne - Caught telling us stuff and is doing 20 years at best.
Kikó - Sums up most of what’s wrong in the world these days.
Lewis - The dethroned king of the little englanders but still the best poster here. Funny ask fuck.
Lofty - Seems more settled.
Luca - loves Luca.
Magic - Subhuman vermin.
Manc - Nobody else see’s it?
Mike - Innit brilliant?
niko_cee - The king lordbishop of the little englanders.
Offshore Toon - Grand.
Pen - Always liked Pen, seems a nice fella.
Pepe - “insert something mexican elsewhere” Smug.
phonics - #somewhowaboutarsenal
Queenslander - He’s gone a bit like an australian little englander but with whatever states or areas they have there.
Raoul Duke - 70% of a kiko, 30% sound.
randomlegend - the love child of Jim white and Jorge Mendes.
Reg - grand and inoffensive.
ScousePig - Same as above.
Shindig - His memory is shit.
SincereTheRebel - Sort of reminds me of Saint but without any of the wit or humour. Dumb as a bag of rocks.
Sir Andy Mahowry - “insert player name” x 1,000,000,000,000
Spikey M - Became a bit of a chest beater for a while but seems to have levelled off thankfully.
Spoonsky - Seems like the sort of lad you’d never get tired slapping while he’s strapped to a tree. We’re just from different times though.
SvN - One of the best here..
Waffdon - No idea but I couldn’t delete the little shite. He’s probably got 3 kids and a job at this stage.
Yevrah - Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, SCIENCE. Christ.[/QUOTE]

Baz:

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Adramelch – Somehow has notifications set up for whenever anyone mentions Greece. Has always seemed nice and friendly though.
Alan Shearer The 2nd – Enjoys driving, wtf.
Alex – Best member? Probably. Good in the hip-hop thread, always has been, and got a new lease of life in football threads thanks to Bielsa. Lucky!
Andrew – Been a bit of a knob in the Covid thread recently, but it unearthed him as a horse racing fan so he’s sound.
Andy – Been around forever and still just as friendly. Underrated in terms of TTH history. Also always near the top in FPL, which is respectable. I wonder if we’ve unwittingly crossed paths on FPL twitter or r/FantasyPL.
AyDee – Sometimes gets really deep about his and his girlfriends mental health, then goes away from a bit, and comes back like a different person. Hopefully they’re alright, like, but it’s weird.
Bam – A forum legend, never changed and hopefully never does. Did well to keep up the schtick back when he posted regularly. Obviously much easier to play the villain when you only post once a month, but would be good to have him back fulltime just to stir stuff up.
Bernanke – Another johnny forriner who was resurrected thanks to the Euros, but other than that I don’t really have much to say. Sorry for the Shindig-style entry. No more, I promise.
Boydy – TTH has kind of been a biography for a large portion of Boydy’s life and although its hardly been a pageturner, we’ve all kept our subscriptions running. He’s definitely an oddball in real life, and does his best to cover it up, but he definitely wouldn’t be opposed to sitting in an old mans pub with Shindig, both in leather jackets despite it being 28 degrees outside, and ordering a large garlic bread from Dominoes to share, loudly telling eachother how mad they are for ordering takeaway to a pub, hoping someone overhears them and interacts. Then they’d both sit in silence, reading their Kindles, idly supping Guinness.
Browning – If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t get to play fantasy NFL, so I really really rate him. I bloody love fantasy NFL, me.
bruhnaldo – I just hope he’s okay.
Clunge – Posted the other day, which surprised me. Didn’t he run sortitoutsi or something?
Dan – Or is it you that sorts out Fantasy NFL? Ehhh, see Browning and decide between yourselves who’s taking the praise.
Dark Soldier – I see him more on rllmuk than on TTH. Always good for a horror film recommendation. Got any?
Dave – aka MartinSAFC. Lol imagine being a Sunderland fan. Probably killed himself tbh, not sure when he last posted. Must be deeply unhappy.
Davgooner – Strange how he seems to pop up once in a blue moon to make a post and then disappear again. Hard to say whether he reads the forum regularly but is purposely not logged in, or whether he decides to click his dusty TTH bookmark everytime something happens that he wants to comment on. I suppose with Arsenal winning less than Everton these days, there aren’t many of those occurrences.
Disco – Good in the beer thread, good in the games thread. Are you Webly in disguise?
Don – Yeah he’s amusing and it’s nice he doesn’t seem to ever aim his negativity, which he has a lot of, towards me. But he is odd, isn’t it? The stolen bike photo kind of sealed the deal, there. He is funny though, and his commentary on the “BLM” state of football teams is very entertaining.
Dquincy – Can’t be doing with him in the Covid thread, which seems to be the only place he posts now.
Foe – Honestly, just a nice bloke. I felt bad for him the other day when he posted about being disillusioned at work, but it does kinda feel like he’s been on the edge of redundancy since oil was invented, so I’m sure he’ll be alright.
Giggles – Fucked off for a bit, and calmly explained his reasonings, which you can’t help but respect. Glad he’s back now. Offers a kind of laser-focused negativity sometimes but, since John died, he’s been slightly less hostile. Done well to be surviving Covid too, as TTH’s oldest far. Well done to our Age Champion.
Gray Fox – Seems like a Liverpool FC ITK kinda guy, but without coming across as an absolute weapon.
Ian – Properly amusing. I remember when I posted about my boiler being faulty, his “not that it’s the main issue here, but why are you regularly in your loft?” query caught me off-guard and really made me laugh.
igor_balis – Can’t seem to post these days without someone screwing their face up. Simmer down, everyone, igor’s actually good value. There are a lot worse posters than him who don’t get half as much stick. I really like him.
-james- – Moved you down to J cos your stupid name annoys me. Same for that berk 7om. Anyway, seems good. Often offers a different angle when viewing sports, usually from a perspective that aids his gambling, which I’m fully onboard with. Don’t really know much about him personally, but has always seemed alright.
Jimmy Floyd – When he did the recorded list I played it, without vetting it first, to my wife. He said something along the lines of me being annoying and we wouldn’t get on in real life, which was greeted by ‘he’s got you spot on, to be fair.’ If someone doesn’t get on with me, quite frankly, it’s on them. His job posts are good, his retellings of how the covid restrictions are affecting his life are funny and he brings a lot to the board.
John Arne – Hopefully not dead. I miss hearing about Vietnam, and certainly miss his dodgy crooked football tips.
Kikó – For years and years everyone seemed to love him, while I thought he was a smarmy nonce – similar to John – but recently more people seem to be anti-Kiko than pro. About time, tossers! Saying that though, I’ve never had a massive problem with him, personally, and I’d rather he was here than not. I’m glad John’s dead though.
Lee – Came back when Covid came out but has scurried back to the Whataspp Group now, occasionally asking ‘anyone mentioned Laur, Daws?’ but only Luca takes him on.
Lewis – Definitely the actual best poster. Like, Ian won that fantastic once-in-a-lifetime competition I expertly ran, but we could have just cancelled the final and celebrated the livesand contributions of both finalists. Lewis could be heralded for his encyclopaedic knowledge of the history of TTH alone, but on top of that he offers fantastic social commentary and witty niche observations. A treasure to the community, no homo.
Lofty - Kind of doomed himself to eternal disappointment by blowing his load with the rollercoaster pic, tbh. Seems happy to be off the trains, which is understandable. Have probably been in the same carriage as him at one point without knowing.
Magic – What went wrong eh? Obviously a lot. Once secretly regarded as one of the best posters in TTH history, with his gross out humour, self-depreciating charm and overall amusing presence. Now he’s a bitter dickhead who doesn’t like anyone or anything, and the feeling’s mutual. Give it a rest, sort yourself out and stop being a cunt.
Mahow – Definitely a wolf olol. Has a great tendency to always be on the urge of a meltdown, but it’s not surprising when you see how much abuse he gets. He’s a good sport really and contributes well to the board as a whole. Still not sure why he named himself after that weird little person though.
Manc – I sometimes mix him up with Gray Fox. Not really sure what else to add. Should go back to his Grealish avatar.
Mellberg – Speaking of avatars, he doesn’t even have one. Dodgy, that. I like Mellin though. Been here forever and similar thoughts to what I said for Andy, really.
Mike – Proper nerd. Handy to have in the family. Transitioning well to becoming female in real life too. Respect. Looking forward to conning some fans at Comic Con with him, although I’m not the most realistic Mel Giedroyc.
mikem – American man who only talks about politics. Anyone who knows me will completely understand why we never cross paths.
mo – Didn’t like the paedo teacher jokes and, shockingly, people seem to have actually stopped. A rare sign of respect from the members of TTH, don’t take that for granted. Only seems to post about his job because, well, who gives a fuck about Swindon besides him?
mugbull – Is he still here? Not seen him for a while. Either on here or Snapchat. I always thought he was one of the better members who received a lot of unnecessary stick.
niko_cee – A good member. Never really stands out but is consistently solid and always has been. Still don’t know where tf he’s from, lives or supports though. My latest guesses are a kiwi who lives in Brighton and supports Liverpool, but gets to Brighton games, but who knows cos sometimes he’s on Offshore’s dodgy island.
Offshore Toon – Speak of the devil. Hello. Offy’s one of them who you feel will never “settle down” and eventually it will be concerning, but he seems okay for now. Should go back to making funny skit videos.
Panda Bear – Keeps coming back but nobody engages him at all.
Pepe – Still here, unbelievably. Seems to get no enjoyment or have any kind of attachment to the board or any of the members. Gets a semi everytime someone else mentions racing games, and that’s about it. I hope he never gets bored and disappears.
phonics – Probably racist in rl.
Pleb – Top lad. Fantasy NFL bro wassup.
Queenslander – I really like him. Likes beers, likes rugby, likes [good] wreslting, and he’s Australian. Top bloke, you can’t get much better than that. Not sure what the situation is with your missus but hope you’re good.
randomlegend – Sometimes I wish he’d give it a rest and other times I appreciate his insight, and I imagine others are the same so he’ll probably never win. Doing well for himself lately as a Covid Champion and Transfers Champion, which I have to admire. Worst name on the board though.
Raoul Duke – Should post more about life in Holland. Would be a good thread. Things you’ve noticed from living abroad. Go on.
Reg – Let the board down, himself down, his family down and his employers down when he abandoned the football thread creation responsibility. Thankfully top boy Ian stepped in and saved him from a permanent ban. Does well to be interested in football and support Brighton. I’ve a mate who’s obsessed with football and supports Wigan, lol. At least Reg isn’t that bad.
ScousePig – Similar to “Dave.” Is he still with us? I could check but I’m writing this on my work laptop and don’t want IT seeing I’ve been trawling TTH. Let’s presume he’s dead. RIP.
Serj – Austrian. Popped up for a bit during the Euros and now probably gone again. Always seemed alright though. I used to mix him up with Raoul Duke.
Shindig – He set his own tagline thing as ‘I used to be funny’ which I was gonna disagree with – in the sense that he still makes some funny posts, rather than never being funny, honest – but his list was indefensible.
SincereTheRebel -

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Smjffy – Randomly repped me and now seems to have disappeared. Hopefully either still fighting the good fight, and winning, regarding payment for job-dodgers throughout Covid, or just holding down a proper job and getting on with enjoying his life. Preferably the latter. TTH and Smiffy have been through a lot; it’s only right we seem him all the way through to some kind of mutually agreed comfort. Get back to spaffing through FM seasons like Gray Fox gets through FIFA matches, please. Always a good read, even if you do use downloaded exploit tactics.
Spammer – Is he unbanned now? Was always one of the better members when he posted regularly. Get back on it.
Spikey M – Doesn’t bite his tongue, which is always a good trait to have on the internet in terms of entertainment. If we think of TTH as Love Island – some people watch it to see wholesome encounters and lovely imagery. I watch it to see dickheads cause arguments and to upset as many of the other kind of viewers as possible. Thanks for not staying in the same couple from day 1 to the end, Spikey. The Meghan that every forum/series needs. Shags anyone and everyone.
Spoonsky – We don’t cross paths much to be honest. Maybe in posts about Liverpool but I don’t really post much about football cos it’s one thing I really don’t enjoy discussing, would rather just watch it and enjoy it for what it is. One good though about Spoonsky is his posts are always well thought out and quite lengthy. Looks like Kendrick Lamar compared to the likes of Mahow’s Lil Uzi and Pepe’s Playboi Carti.
SvN – If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here. He’s sound in terms of “banter” too, doesn’t let anything touch him, basically. I like him.
The Merse – His tattoos are lame, his clothes are shit and his posts are boring.
thommo – I like him. One of the fantasy NFL lads who thankfully keep the TTH non-dynasty league alive so I can still play. Thank you.
7om – Billy big bollocks in the Covid thread, without anyone getting pissy about it like they do with randomlegend. I think he’s good in the wrestling threads too.
Trancemeister -
Vercetti – Actually ventured out of his Gamezine comfort blanket recently, and put on actual clothes to visit other threads. Only for a few posts but it’s positive small steps. Hopefully gets back to full time timewasting on TTH.
Waffdon – Disappeared off Snapchat, which I’m trying to not take personal offence to. Probably says stuff is ‘calm’ cos he’s young innit. Just seems to enjoy himself and doesn’t let anything spoil his fun. Carry on, hun.
wullie – Still really funny. Shame he barely posts nowadays.
Yevrah – It’s weird that we definitely have little to nothing in common, but I find him really interesting. Likes to keep his cards close to his chart in some aspects, but the illusion is kinda ruined when he pointedly says he’s doing so. Like, just don’t mention it. Covid’s obviously made him go a bit weird, so it’s likely downhill from here considering this is life forever now. Soz, Yev, been nice knowing you.

7om:

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Adramelch - only ever noticed him in the football threads but seems nice enough without any fireworks.

Alan Shearer The 2nd - barely seen him post at all. Probably lurks.

Andrew - never even noticed the guy until his tinfoil hat shenanigans in the covid thread. Don’t lose your head now, mate. We’ll sort this out eventually.

Andy - seems like a decent lad to me. Again without any frills or fireworks.

Bam - I must admit I do lol when he crops up and verbally abuses random people, but it is a bit weird, isn’t it? Seems perpetually angry. Maybe he uses TTH as a vent?

Baz - I’m not sure me and Baz have anything in common. He seems to exist in a world of pubs and affiliate links. But I like your opinions and respect you as a poster.

Bernanke - Seems to be one step ahead of everyone. He could pop up in a thread with a link or a bit of breaking news and I’d take it seriously. Add in some lols and you’d move into the upper echelons of TTH.

Boydy - I love what Boydy has become. He’s settled into this semi-miserable, semi-cynical hybrid that I find hilarious to read. Keep it up. I don’t know much about Boydy’s personal life but in my mind he’s shacked up with some tick ting and loving life really.

Browning - Pretty quiet these days, I think. I don’t populate the wwe or nfl threads so don’t know.

bruhnaldo - Very sensitive and is tone deaf to this place at times, but bless his heart he tries his best. I’ve PM’d him before when he’s in a meltdown as I just think he needs to take a deep breath sometimes and relax. I bet he’s a lovely bloke irl.

Byron - Your avatar makes me smile. Haven’t seen you round much recently though. Hope all is well.

CJay - I’ve only seen CJ in the exercise threads where he’s boasting about running 20km in 10 minutes or whatever he does. Raises ducks as pets, doesn’t he? Must be a good’un then.

Cord - I reckon he lurks the place regularly because every now and then he’ll pop up in the middle of a conversation and then disappear again. Good lad and haxball legend.

Danny - Might be the nicest bloke on this forum. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him post in anger or have a pop at anyone. How has Florida not corrupted you?

Dark Soldier - Still breaking FM match engines or nah? Probably jaded and sick of the same old bollocks we talk about which is a shame because I found him hilarious when he was a regular. Still shagging trannies?

Davgooner - Mr One-Liner seems to have deserted us. Shame. Hopefully someone has spare keys to the van.

Disco - seems to like all the stuff I do which is great and I reckon he lives really close to me. Otherwise seems like a lovely bloke, wouldn’t hurt a fly, I reckon.

Don - I liked ‘Taz’. Don, not so much. I know lockdown has been hard but the blend of tinfoil hat opinions and snide comments gets quite tiring eventually. You need to go back to the carefree poster you once were.

Dquincy - I don’t like to have a pop at people but the covid thread posts are dumb as shit. You can do better.

Foe - Seems to have settled into a role of being non-offensive without posting much of note. But, again, is probably a nice lad in real life.

Giggles - I find negativity funny, generally. Yev strikes the balance perfectly but Giggles just seems jaded and enjoys tearing people a new arsehole. Same style as John without the entertainment aspect.

Gray Fox - knows his F1. Good lad. Don’t know much about him as a person but seems sensible and thoughtful in his posts. Important contributor on the board.

Ian - Probably the funniest poster on the board now. The scathing one-liners are proper good. Is there a rivalry with Jimmy brewing? I’ve seen him have a pop a few times and for someone as laid back as Ian it must be something that’s winding him up.

igor_balis - Don’t know about now, but has been a shambles. Start settling down and quit the booze and drugs. It won’t end well.

ItalAussie - Used to find him incredibly patronising but don’t notice it as much these days.

Jimmy Floyd - We haven’t seen eye-to-eye at all in the covid thread at times but I think there exists a mutual respect between us now. I don’t venture into the jobs thread usually so I missed out on the shenanigans there unfortunately. Otherwise seems like a very down to earth guy.

John - miss him. Hope he’s doing alright.

John Arne - Weird how he’s suddenly disappeared. If someone has an email or a number we should probably initiate contact / an intervention. Seems nice enough though.

Kikó - I’ll be honest, I didn’t like Kiko when I first joined the board. But my opinion has done a 180 over the last year or so. Isn’t afraid to call out bullshit in the covid thread and that is what’s needed. Excellent poster.

Lewis - still lol at most of his posts but I yearn for two changes. 1) a slight toning down of the casual racism and 2) more serious posts. I love the lol stuff as much as the next person but with his intelligence he can add so much more.

Lofty - The debauchery has calmed down a bit which has taken the edge off his posting but is still good.

Luca - I like Luca but don’t see him around enough these days.

Magic - I’m starting to wonder if this is one massive troll effort. Has lockdown driven him to such boredom that he gets kicks out of talking complete nonsense. No idea. None of it is funny or witty to make up for it. It’s the ramblings of someone who has lost their mind.

Manc - Reminds me of Townsend and he went doolally eventually.

Mellberg - Excellent. Hits the nail on the head with his opinions. They’re just not frequent enough. Tell me you escaped brum.

Mike - Seems like a nice lad, just like his brother.

mugbull - was it Mokbull that had an alt account back in the day and would talk to himself? Seems less mental and emotionally confused these days so that’s good.

niko_cee - reminds me of Lewis. Has written some mega posts recently that are a joy to read. Don’t always agree with him on some of his covid opinions but they’re well written and carry some weight.

Offshore Toon - needs to start more freds and haxball games. Can be a bit cutting at times but that’s Offy and the board is better with him.

Panda Bear - you lurk, don’t you, Panda? No idea what’s going on in his life these days but hope he is happy and healthy.

Pepe - Legend around these parts. Pepe’s word is gospel in my eyes.

phonics - thought he was an enormous twat for ages but I get the impression he’s turned a corner recently. Seems a lot more calm and less inclined to call people wrong and stupid all the time.

Pleb - Hero. I don’t know why he says the things he does or what he gets out of the board but he’s always happy and inoffensive to people. Keep going mate.

Queenslander - the voice of reason down under. I think your wife went through some stuff, didn’t she? Hope that is improving. Seems like a stand up bloke to me.

randomlegend - it can come across as a bit patronising at times but heaven knows what shit he’s seeing day in, day out. Is donning Magic senseless in the covid thread.

Raoul Duke - I don’t know how people are still playing Fifa. It rots your brain. I don’t know how you’ve ended up in Holland but you come across as happy and contented in your posts so I assume all is going well.

Reg - abandoned his responsibilities in making football threads. Unforgivable. Otherwise a very solid poster.

Shindig - I genuinely love Shindig’s enthusiasm in the covid thread. I just want to take him under my wing and teach him science. I am also fondly looking forward to your next trip to the US and the updates. Fuck the haters.

SincereTheRebel - Just a walking lol. I don’t know how he functions in real life but on here he comes across like he’s stumbling from one disaster to the next. Dons the shameful lustage thread.

Sir Andy Mahowry - the anti-England shit is proper mental territory. But I get a kick out of the 1-0 Ronaldo posts. Keep going.

Spammer - must be on some sort of register by now.

Spikey M - Top poster. Has a fantastic blend of hilarious one liners and longer, more serious posts. The board would suffer badly if he left.

Spoonsky - a shame that we don’t see spoon as much now. Last I knew, you were in Canada and seeing a girl. Hope all is well, mate.

SvN - A poor mans Spikey, in the nicest way. Some great one liners. He’s one of them people if I see he has posted in a thread I’ll go and have a look just to see what he’s said.

Waffdon - fluctuates between genuinely interesting posts to complete insanity. Not sure what to make of it to be honest.

wullie - barely see wullie around anymore. Seems to have settled into a steady routine of FM and posting in the wwe thread which means I don’t see his posts that much. Probably the most harmless chap on the board.

Yevrah - me and Yev alternate between butting heads in the covid thread and being best mates in the NBA 2K thread. Some of the covid stuff is a little off the mark, for me, but I can’t deny it is entertaining. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of Yev’s brand of sensationalism. Legend. I’d miss him terribly if he stopped posting. I hope all is well after that little mental health wobble recently.

Dark Soldier:

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-james- - Was about 11 when he joined iirc. If it wasn't for the avatar I wouldn't notice you tbh. Seems like a solid lad and for that, kudos.

7om - Top poster these days. The fact its taken several big hitters fucking off to achieve this is a thing, but still. Absolute graft and commitment. Love ya. I generally agree with your Covid postings btw so I've got your back. Was it you who fucked off to China or something, or is my old brain fucked?

Adamski - Not posted in 3 months. Fuck knows. Killer.

Adramelch - Going off post history, absolutely fucking loves the football. Mad for it. Off his tits for young lads and balls.

Alan Shearer The 2nd - See Adamski.

Alex - Always liked this lad. Has a swagger to his posts.

Andrew - Absolutely fuck all clue. Post history shows he's down with the corona.

Andy - Bam with intelligence.

AyDee - You're just making posters up now.

Bam - Andy without intelligence. Top lad though. Been around forever, gotta be pushing 50 now. His wife was/is a cracker. I say was as he's probably living out the back of his van on a twenty year old mattress now still crying about West Ham selling Joe Cole. Man can't get over it. First kid, wanted to name him Joe, missus said no. "How about Cole??" he pleads. She tells him to fuck off. Other fans say Ferdinand was the bigger talent but he and his mates know the swazz young Joe could put on a Mitre. Gorgeous thighs he had. That grin. He wants to be Joe. Drinks a litre of Bells an evening and scrubs graffiti as a day job. Comes on here as we're all Joe Cole to him. Don't mention Carrick - fraud.

Baz - Utter lunatic. Love him to death but also fucking terrifies me more than any complex I've had to deal with. Once sent pizza to DM's home address, and the anchovies spelt out 'You die tonight'. Seems a tiny bit more chill these days but probably a ruse.

Bernanke - If he posts in one of the five threads I read, I'll focus on his posts. Apparently likes Loki, dickhead.

Boydy - No Sudden Move around this lad. Has A Portrait of a Lady on Fire on his wall. Eyeballs women and they call him 'Pig'. Sound of Metal ringing in his ears as he enjoys the drudgery of life. Always game for Another Round. Black Bear of the family. Are you vegan now? If you are fuck off. Love ya.

Browning - FM, football, wrestling. Another decent lad.

bruhnaldo - Our own school shooter in waiting. Fucking cock.

Byron - Not posted in five months. Likes cricket. Give a fuck.

CJay - I actually enjoy his football posts. Haven't got much else to add.

Clunge - Another who likes cricket.

Cord - Mate just post more alright.

Dan - NFL PIGSKIN CLUSTERFUCK SHOULDER PAD WANKER

Danny - Absolute mad for the Fifa. Shows a commitment many can only dream off. Live your life bro.

Dave. - Last post was a lazy Twitter rip off. Nah mate what ya doing.

Davgooner - The Guv. As others have said, only thing I've seen from him of late is the word cunt chucked about. But his cunt has weight. Like ya mam's.

Disco - Posts a lot, keeps the place going. Not hit the peaks of earlier years but another staple legend.

Don - I don't get it. What do you actually do or offer. Its like spunk is your religion and you have fucking stigmata. Weirdly obsessed with gash, BBC and cocks into arseholes. See a psychologist ya weird cunt. Likes DnB though, good lad.

Dquincy - Hahahahaha Christ

five time - Can't find him on the member list. Another made up poster.

Foe - Ya still hench bro? Peaked with the onesie years ago. Completely harmless.

Giggles - My kinda dude these days. Unrepentant in his hatred for almost everything. I'm reaching that point of life so can relate. I estimate he's about five stone overweight and his idea of a date is a cheeky Wetherspoons 2 for a tenner and a quick nosh in a BnB. Don't change, please.

Gray Fox - Fuck off for WWE. Kudos on the gaming. Its the wrong games but it'll do. Nearly 10k posts bro. Bang it on the CV.

Guybrush - Another fake poster.

hfswjyr - You're not even trying now lads.

Ian - Distinctly not beige these days. Similar to Seven, a top boy but its a result of circumstance. I read everything you post. Print 'em out and put 'em in the journal. One day, pal.

igor_balis - Seems to like cricket. Mate. Aside from that is a good lad.

ItalAussie - Did he/she/they have that realignment surgery in the end? Always liked Ital, actually intelligent and one of the few mods who gave me leeway when I was a fucking mess. You still over there mate?

Jimmy Floyd - I have a lot of respect for Jimmy. Its fair to say me and him didn't get on/give a shit for a long, long time but he's morphed into this languid, awesome poster over the past few years. One of the big four on here imo. Its rare I change my tune about anyone so take it as a compliment. Or don't, but I like you alright. Fuck's sake. Cricket wanker.

John - Seems a load kinda hated him but another poster I had and have a lot of love for. Apparently he's dead, so I just hope he's up in heaven somewhere pointing at Mahow and laughing.

John Arne - No posts in three months, but he's been around since the early 00s I believe. Good lad for that.

Josh - Dunno. Top avatar.

Kikó - If it wasn't for him I'd have had to retire back in 2009. Never had an issue with Kiko, handsome motherfucker,. jawline to melt ya heart. Sort ya hair out though bro. Also you're a Manc, calm down the middle class wank.

Lewis - Tries way too hard for such a small community. Mate you're a fucking bright guy. Calm down with the humour every post. You can and probably have donned every fucker here. Another I didn't see eye to eye with for a good while. You're fucking weird, but then most geniuses are.

Limoutsonik - Fake poster.

Lofty - Myth. Mental. Legend. Seven foot of perversion. Still bosses the trains I believe, still wearing women like a glove. I'd be the least surprised if a member on here appeared in the press for having a nipple belt and thigh tuxedo, and it was him. Helped me out the other month (didn't come to owt, sos mate).

Luca - Ah mate you've gotta be 18 now right? Suave.

Luke Emia - Background noise, ion the nicest way possible.

Magic - Why are you such a hateful cunt, mate? You used to be chill. Its 2021 ffs, trolling at such a subhuman, incapable level ain't the thing. I know your life is basically Hiroshima, but its okay, you're still young (I think). Give ya skull a wobble and sort it out.

Manc - Best username.

Max Power - Likes cricket. Not a cricket wanker. Good content. Would subscribe.

Mazuuurk - Mainly posts about games. But its Maz ffs. Legend of the board.

Mellberg - Analytical God. Stocks supremo. Probably richer than all of us and fully deserved. Always had the utmost respect for ya since ya first appeared (me, you and R1 used to don the fucking place). Accent keeps me up at night, chills.

Mike - Completely sane Baz - seems to be stunted in mental growth but I like you.

mikem - No posts in seven months. Why the fuck you on here

mo - Is this OG mo? If so probably been around longer than me. No idea what you post, like.

mugbull - see Quincy.

niko_cee - see Igor.

Offshore Toon - Top boy round here, for me. Our hate/respect for each other through the years is more fucking volatile than a crypto chart, but he's aged well. Found his feet, slippers on. Old before his years at times. Still in touch with youth culture from what I can tell. Give it five years lad.

Panda Bear - You still an oddly pretentious weirdo? I like you, anyway.

Pen - Pen still posts? Geez. Basically Maz, but from a shitter country.

Pepe - I still have memories of what an absolute wasteman you were time ago. Hyperactive fucking lunatic. But mate, how you've grown. Its like a teacher watching a lad go on and play for England, whilst getting fuck all of the reward. a five second segment on the News then a new class bullying ya, calling ya 'Pepe Wanker', 'Did ya suck him off in the showers sir?'. Worth it though. Proud of you son.

phonics - I follow him on Twitter. I don't agree with most, if anything he says, and seemed very unstable for a long time. But has seemingly mellowed and keeps his ownage style posts to Twitter. None of them own but its the effort, right.

Pleb - Football, F1 and pissing his money away on bets. Its a life, I guess.

P_3 - Another old timer iirc. Haven't noticed a single post.

Queenslander - One of the few I see bother with Rugby. Good lad. Makes some very solid posts.

randomlegend - You the Doctor, yeah? Very good in the Corona thread. Probably other threads too. Well done.

Raoul Duke - Another Fifa mental. We're at the point in the list where everyone is just solid really.

Reg - Again, solid. Sorry for not having more to say.

ScousePig - Another legend. Hasn't really changed tack in posting style. Dennis Irwin of the board.

Serj - No idea. I'm sure he's good?

Shindig - Had the peak moment of TTH. Still elbow deep into games. Smashes out the odd self-deprecating banger of a post. The stuff with your flatmate was second most peak, tied with Al0n's freakout. Stalwart. Twitch streams are good but up the quality, its like watching games in pissy rain.

SincereTheRebel - Mate you're a fucking idiot but somehow I think you know and embrace it. No doubt a relative success in life and I love you for it.

Sir Andy Mahowry - Mate ffs. Too long to type out so I did a word cloud of your major posts:




Smjffy - Shame you've calmed down on the FM. Those were good posts. Also good that you've seemingly calmed down and settled in life and have put your fidgety energy into bettering yourself. Legend.

Spammer - what

Spikey M - Another of the big four. Ties the board together. Humour, can dish out the serious shit. Another who's matured beautifully.

Spoonsky - Another that we had mututal dislike/wtf with for ages. Serious posts. They make sense. Will always be a serious man. Go you, you're sound.

SvN - Top avatar. Dishes out shit where appropriate. One of the best mods/admins the board has had throughout the years.

TG09 - No posts in 8 months again why is he here

The Merse - Another of the Fifa cult. Alright lad. Used to do my nut in in the past, but not anymore. That's something.

thommo - Another solid if unspectacular entity.

Trancemeister - Only time I've ever communicated with him was about obscure European hardcore/techno. Top lad.

Vercetti - If you dislike him you need to go and fucking eviscerate yourself. Shameful behaviour. I'll always love ya.

Waffdon - A lad's lad's lad. Absolute madman. Banter out the cunt. Fucking wanks himself off into a cone. 16 pints in and he'll fuck up the bouncer. Topless in a garden punching a 14yo. Legend.

wullie - FM only these days. Funniest fucker to ever appear on here. I miss you, personally wullie. Insane comedic mind.

Yeldoow - The fuck is this

Yevrah - I respect the grind, Yev. The fucking sound of Fifa tabs being opened and closed, rifling through cards and discarding while barely ever playing a match is stuck on a fucking loop in my head. Fallout obsessed, move on. You're like an AI amalgamation of the entire board. Almost frightening. Legend.

Jimmy Floyd:

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-james- - A John Peel for our times, except instead of playing the Undertones 40 times in a row, he exhibits instead a quite magnificently hit-and-miss array of diverse tonal (and sometimes atonal) wares. Nevertheless, I have him to thank for getting me into Richard... what's his name? Richard Brown? No. Richard Ashcroft? No, he's the twat from the Verve. If I don't know the bloke's name, am I actually into him at all? If a bloke bleats in a Geordie accent for a full several albums' worth and I can't remember his surname, did I really listen? It's not Richard Thompson, either. I'm Googling it now. Richard Dawson. I have that name reserved in my mind for the disappointing 2000s Gloucestershire and Yorkshire off-spinner. I'm sorry. 'We park up by the derelict primary school, tie bags for life around our ankles'.

7om - Comes across as refreshed and renewed after whatever it was that kept him from posting for ages. 'Glad that the beatings have stopped', as Steve Flemming would put it.

Adamski - Choose a three piece hire suit, in a range of fucking fabrics.

Adramelch - Greece was the cradle of all we hold dear in western civilisation: democracy, the scientific method, bumming boys on the sly. To think that they are now reduced to a cultural output of Vangelis, Stavros Flatley and the sparse posts of Adramelch makes one feel a little despondent to what depths our own culture may one day plunge. Of course, I'm being harsh on Adra, he's fine, even if I do hear the unnerving organ strain of this in my head whenever he graces us with his presence.

Alan Shearer The 2nd - He posted a picture of his garden a while back. I don't understand how anyone has the energy to be that much of an adult. I go to work on a Monday, come home and I'm already fucked, and that's just from sitting down in a chair all day telling Frenchmen to fuck off. I think boredom tires you out, you know? The failure to live commands a higher tax on the mind than does a life well-lived. I think that's why I involuntarily fall asleep on the sofa at 6pm most nights, while Alan Shearer the 2nd is out feeding his hydrangeas.

Alex - I think it was Alex who encouraged me to listen to more Dylan last year. I'm glad, because although I find his 60s stuff a bit crap (Dylan's, not Alex's), the 70s stuff is a glorious thing, as is some of the later stuff. During lockdown (the OG lockdown) I got properly into Blood on the Tracks, and doing so got me through some of the lonelier April weeks when the evening sun was seeping through the window, the trees were leafless silhouettes, bereft against the orange sky, and I hadn't seen a friendly human for 70 days or whatever it ended up being. What times they were, the romantic days of OG lockdown. Now, after three lockdowns, I just have a stack of yoghurt pots that need to go in the recycling, and I haven't dusted the skirting boards since November. Time is a jet plane, it moves too fast.

Andrew - There will be more and more Andrews, out there, as time progresses and more and more people realise that everything Tony Blair said between 1990 and 2010 was a load of utter tripe. That is to say there will be more and more people who, with nothing else to do, reject the soppy consensus that has built up in public discourse over time, and decide to be performatively right wing despite not necessarily having a vast fortune to, well, conserve. I'm not judging him. Well, maybe I am judging him, but you see, like Tony, I can see things from both points of view. There is no right, dude, and there is no wrong; there's equality, the Third Way, and jobs for June Sarpong.

Andy - St Mary's was the first place I ever experienced the phenomenon of parking up for a football match, only to be approached by a couple of kids asking for money to 'look after' your car. My mate, who had the local knowledge, told them to fuck off, and they did; his car survived the day intact, too. Since Southampton is clearly not the sort of place where kids are brought up to run extortion rackets properly, I also assume that Andy must be coining it in to build their newel posts, and paid on time too. Good on him, a solid ever-present poster here.

AyDee - Precocity is a curse, because from there the only way is down, even if you do pretty well for yourself. I wish him all the best in overcoming this state of affairs.

Bam - If the scaffolding racket ever dries up, there are options. Take pornography, for example. There are specialist genres (I understand) in which large blokes wander bare-chested into rooms and say things like 'Here we are, love, cor, it's a bit fuckin' 'ot in 'ere, innit? Let me 'elp you outta that skimpy fuckin' leotard'. OK, as you can see I'm never going to be a script writer for porn, but you know the sort of thing I mean. You'll have time to learn your craft - not much time, mind, as once the back hair starts going grey you'll be restricted to 'Horny Grandad Bangs Next Door Neighbour' type affairs - but whatever happens, you can always be sure that there'll be a middle aged man in Manchester, Mike Summerbee shirt pinned to his bedroom wall, cock in hand, enjoying your work for what it is.

Baz - He's been born into the wrong decade, really. In another era he would have been a good, old-fashioned con artist, a bit like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Is that a spoiler? I don't think it is. As it is, he is left having to try the grift online. Seems to have quite esoteric taste. I imagine his living room decor is a bit of a bomb scare, unless his wife sorts all that out. I have a mate like that. There is quite literally a three-foot metallic structure on the window sill that spells out LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. I thought he was winding me up, when I saw it, but oh no. He earns the money, she makes the decisions. I hope it's like that in the Baz household.

Bernanke - Posts somewhat from the shadows. Pulls it off.

Boydy - I'm glad he's found his calling and seems to have done well at it. I think a successful life suits him much better than being the miserable bastard of old. I'd like to say that applies to everyone, but it probably doesn't. Some people thrive on failure. I might be one of them, to be honest. If I was one of my old school mates on a hundred grand living in a glass flat with a Thames vista, I reckon I'd be an insufferable prick. As it is, I may still be an insufferable prick but at least I have some perspective. Boydy, on the other hand, benefits from less perspective, at least if his posts are anything to go by. The angst of old has given way to a sense of humour. Give him a few years and he'll be hanging out in Monte Carlo harbour; in the Abramovich sense, I hope, rather than in the Ascari sense.

Browning - In 2002, there was a new kid in my class called Stuart Browning. He was faced with a number of challenges, not least that 2002 was far beyond the point when one could, as a 14 year old, be taken seriously while being named 'Stuart'. Another was that new kids never really stop being new kids, in the minds of the old kids. You have the established lot, the ones who are there in the first September, and even if there is a bit of attrition via things like family moving away, exclusion, ill health or accidental death, those are basically the ones who make it through to the end together. The new kids? Fuck you, you rocked up halfway through, you didn't see what we saw. Browning, unlike my man Stuart, will be one of the old kids of the board, even if we can't quite remember what he's done along the way.

bruhnaldo - The best thing about being English is that we don't have to pronounce our Rs. Think about it - father, mother, tinker, tailor. If you're English and not from the west country, you're not pronouncing the last letter there. Now try and do it. Feel how you have to use so much more of your mouth (the bottom front part, particularly). At some point around the 18th century, most people in England stopped pronouncing their Rs. The Scots, the Irish, and by extension the Americans, continued. This is the fissure between our cultures. We don't use all of our mouths, because we're above that. We don't have craic. We don't call you 'buddy'. We certainly don't offer 'famously warm hospitality'. We sneer at you from across the tube carriage and wish you would go away. bruhnaldo is the opposite of this. bruhnaldo is an American in excelsis, and it's no surprise he has regular meltdowns when in our company. Good on him. But good on us, too.

Byron - He used to (perhaps still does, for all I know) work for Aviva, which for regional snobs like me is a useful way to pigeon hole him. Everyone in Norwich should work for Aviva. Everyone in Stoke should work for bet365. Everyone in Luton should make hats. Everyone in Sheffield should traipse into the steel works, of a morning, with the stench of last night's tripe and onions still wafting from their breath. Everyone in Newcastle should work at Sports Direct (sorry, that's what you are, now). And everyone in Wales should be unemployed.

CJay - I picture him as the bloke from Normal People. I liked the book of that (I enjoy reading her way of reporting speech) but the TV version left me cold, even when the bloke got his knob out. It felt like a poor excuse to make the girl get her muff out. Books do that sort of thing much better in terms of the spiritual and sometimes metaphysical description of what's going on and what it means to the characters, rather than TV's: Oh look, that man has a penis, and - you'll never believe this - the girl's got two breasts, and now they're going to rub against each other for a bit and grunt.

Clunge - I've never known what 'clunge' is, though I think I can guess. It brings to mind a drunken man lying under shop awnings in Glasgow as scantily-clad women pass by at night. 'Goodness!', he might shout after one, in a public school English accent, because this man has fallen far. 'I can see right up your clunge!'

Cord - Tosser, for almost never posting when he clearly has nothing better to be doing.

Danny - I've always wondered whether, in order to survive in America, you have to turn into an American. I am really doubtful that my brand of scowling superiority complex would cut the mustard, over there. It's a country where everyone seems to wear their heart on their sleeve. Danny seems to have bridged the divide well enough, so good luck to him.

Dark Soldier - Has one of the best usernames. Rarely pops in these days but seems to be doing rather better than ten years ago, which is nice.

Dave. - This is Martin, isn't it? Rarely seen in the wild.

Davgooner - There are two types of people in life: those who would drive the TTH van, and those who would sit in the passenger seat, help load it up with tools or goods, and stand outside it waving their arms to help back it in through gates and into parking spaces. I would be the latter. Dave would be the former. I remember him once saying on here, years ago: 'Sex is all about the man'. How right he was.

Disco - The only thing I'm never quite sure about with the Sergeant is how he ended up here in the first place, since he seems to have absolutely zero interest in association football. Great in the threads where he and I coincide. Presumably good in the others too, who could say.

Don - Our fella here seems to have been experiencing three or four different meltdowns all at once. I am never quite sure which ones are sincere and which tongue-in-cheek. I was going to do a racist gag about tongue-in-cheek being a Persian delicacy but that in fact brings me on to the next curious point which is that, in the British context, and by some measures at least, Taz is in fact the custodian of his very own black life - and far be it from me, a gammon (honey-glazed), to dictate whether or not it matters. The wit of old remains but it seems a troubled wit, these days; the kind you find on the tip of your tongue at 3am when everyone has gone home and it is only the dead pot plants and the night air which are still there to receive your bon mots. They never laugh, and yet they never roll their eyes or frown, either; they just acknowledge, without judgement, if you are patient with them.

Dquincy - He brings normie humour to the board. You know, when you're sitting in a pub, or at a legal outdoor gathering compliant to current restrictions in your area, and someone says 'Yeah, I bet she takes it up the arse!!!' or similar, with a complete lack of guile or irony, and you smile or perhaps titter politely so as to keep up appearances among your parrot-brained companions, but really you're thinking oh for fuck's sake this wasn't funny in 2004 and it sure as hell isn't funny now? Dquincy does that, but on the board, which makes it even worse, because this place is full of sharp people - like, sharp people. He also sounds like the sort of boss you would cross the road to avoid bumping into a decade later, after leaving an otherwise satisfactory job purely so you never had to hear his voice again.

five time - It's amazing the sort of people record companies were pumping up in the mid 90s. Nowadays, if you want a top 20 chart hit, you'd best be black, and if you're not black, you'd best be fucking trying. There is not the slightest prayer than Ann Lee would be pushed cross-territory these days. Number one in Flanders, apparently. I didn't know that was a thing. Five times (do do doo-do doo-do). Six times. Five times.

Foe - Many moons ago, I used to spend a lot of time around the sorts of places he would have grown up in and seen while growing up. You know. The names that pepper the Highland League. Inverness. Nairn. Elgin. The Black Isle. Cromarty. Buckie. Forres. Findhorn. Tomintoul. Dufftown! The lot. Anyway, what all of these places have in common is that the bricks in the buildings are all the same colour, and that colour is grey. We're not talking a standard slate grey, either. This is a grey that permeates your soul. This is a grey that, when it rains, which it always does, makes the walls reflect your own face back at you screaming 'Fuck off!'. This is a grey that turns Death to the bottle. There are very few people who emerge intact from a childhood spent around this constant grey. Most of them become drunks, or farm hands, or drunken farm hands. To that end, Foe has done pretty well. Pretty well indeed.

Giggles - A propos of nothing, I was in Franco Manca's in Guildford the other night and on the specials board they were doing roast potatoes as a pizza topping. I could only speculate as to what had led to this desperate state of affairs. Perhaps the chippy next door had over-ordered. Perhaps one of the bored-looking waitresses had brought a doggy bag over from Sunday lunch at grandma's. Perhaps Sir Walter Raleigh had travelled 400 years forward in time and had nowhere else to put them. Either way, it really didn't work - unlike Giggles, who seems to do nothing but work. I think of him, driving his van around Ireland, passing all those puddles and cattle, stopping in a grey deserted moonscape for lunch - a Scotch egg wrapped in greaseproof paper, with a bottle of home brew to wash it down. I think of all the insincere cheery greetings he must have to offer to half-faced men in grey caps as he goes about his work. I think about how he must use the phrase 'Not a bother' to mean either yes, no, or fuck you, depending on his mood. I then conclude that it's no wonder he is such a miserable old twat. His best post ever was: 'Friends? You're supposed to be a grown man'. He is what Roy Keane thinks he is.

Gray Fox - I suppose this is better than being a 'silver fox', a phrase I associate exclusively with forty-something sexual predation.

Guybrush - I don't know who this is. Guy Brush? Guy B. Rush? Why would you brush a guy? I suppose you would, if you wanted him to look neater. Maybe it's just his name. Guy Brush. That sounds like a dire local radio DJ if ever there was one. Thanks for the travel, my sweetheart. You're listening to the Guy Brush Breakfast on Corpse FM, loud and proud across North Staffordshire and the Potteries. Here's one for you: what do you call Lenny Henry when he dresses up smart to pick up his citizenship in Bangkok? That's right, a black Thai. Boom! That was the tux biz - now here are Bucks Fizz, with mmmmakin' your mind up.

hfswjyr - I found it very interesting how, when we won the World Cup over New Zealand by the barest of margins, the Kiwis were down but sort of alright about it, while the Indians were absolutely fucking furious. I tried to work out if it speaks to New Zealand being a lovely friendly side that neutrals want to win, or to England being the big bad bullies who neutrals want to lose. The answer is of course both. I feel in this country we need to be better at playing the heel. We think we're the good guys. We're not - our job is to crush the likes of New Zealand, and to do so with no mercy and a Dick Dastardly smile on our face. To enjoy their pain. If we ever have any likeability it comes from our comedic failure to win. I think the Kiwis get this and have built it in, but the Indians don't.

Ian - Ian is the conscience of the board. As time goes on, he reminds me more and more of John Gielgud in Arthur. People might be having a pointless argument, or exchanging a series of crap posts, or sharing a ridiculous personal habit. Ian will appear, like Hobson, silver plate in hand. 'Oh, yes, sir, brilliant,' he will say, thin smile, polite manner, obvious sarcasm. 'What a fantastic post that was'. Then off he will slip again until the next transgression. This description is probably underselling him, but never mind. 'You feel unloved, Arthur? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. And incidentally, I love you.'

igor_balis - This is where I diverge somewhat from mainstream opinion, something I am often reluctant to do. I don't buy at all the idea that Igor's anecdotes are deliberately zany or goofy or in some way worthy of disdain, which people seem to think. Others still seem to think they are made up, which is clearly absurd. They don't rub me up the wrong way at all, not even the one about someone's vagina smelling of poo, or whatever it was (perhaps I have conflated a few stories into one there). Instead I treat igor's posts in the way I (in my thirties) might sit in a city centre McDonalds at 1am, hear the tales of heroism and derring-do from the kids at the next table, and think: 'Good on you'.

ItalAussie - Ital was never really made for the call-your-adversary-a-cunt era, was he. Too polite and respectful. With the way uni campuses are these days, he has probably been cancelled by now, for platforming a non-intersectional theorem or something. God that makes me sound old and gammony. We may have years, we may have hours, but sooner or later, we push up flowers.

John - Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.

John Arne - The latter stages of his posting seemed like a rather strange shill for the Vietnamese military government. When I say heads have gone, I fear in his case it might mean literally, and his skull is now being used by some people traffickers to sup their morning beetle juice.

Kikó - During the Euros the other day I was about to make a mean-spirited post about my contempt for all the plastic azzurri fans in this country called Mark Johnson who develop a sudden Italian family connection during major tournaments. Then I realised that Kiko's name is hardly Luigi Pastapizza either, so I didn't post it in case he was offended. Such is the respect that the blue-eyed capo dei tutti capi of TTH commands. Whilst preparing my monthly gift box for him the other day, I had to remind myself to include the nice chocolates this time. My previous offering had prompted a rather curt PM from the man himself. Apparently, Viennese toffee sticks to his gums. There's a tip for you all to bear in mind whilst composing your own tribute hampers. The embarrassment kept me in bed for two days.

Lewis - I always say that to be a top, top bloke, you need three things: a head, a heart, and a pair of balls. I categorise most men I know based on which of the three they possess (women are a bit different, and I have no need to work them out). I am a head/heart man, with no balls. A lot of my old schoolmates were head/balls, with no heart, and they went on to enjoy careers in the City and earn squillions. 2 out of 3 makes you a proper person, I think. I know a lot of heart/balls people and they are great fun, but get themselves into so much trouble. Then you get the ones with 1/3. Heart only types are those wimps who write shit poetry and praise the NHS on twitter. Balls only drive vans into bollards. Head only all work for think tanks or in IT. You get the odd 0/3, too. You know the ones I mean. Empty vessels. 3/3s are pretty rare. I know one or two. Lewis is a two and a half. The head tends to lead, with the balls not far behind. He's at his best when the heart gets a word in edgeways.

Limoutsonik - Foolishly, I Google-searched his username, thinking that it might offer a window into the soul of a man I have never knowingly seen post. Naively, I imagined it might have been inspired by a video game character, or by a dance or trance bop act, or something of that ilk. Instead, I was confronted only by this same chap's array of accounts on various forums. The second result was: 'The Free Sex Forum'. Now, I don't know if the sex in question is free (as opposed to paid-for), or free (as opposed to being bound by convention and social norms). Either way, I hope he uses every opportunity to get his Lim out and is able to give it a good, wholesome sonik whenever he sees fit.

Lofty - I don't know why this comes to mind, but I thought out of all the crap that they included in the last few series of Game of Thrones, one of the better done parts was the giant (can't remember his name. Yum Yum or something). Unlike giants generally are in fiction, this depiction was really sensitive, with you getting a sense of what it might actually be like to being this fifty foot lumbering freak who is doomed by the fact he is so conspicuous. Nonetheless, he does his bit in trying to save them all from ol' blue eyes, and Lofty does his bit on the board, too.

Luca - Whenever he posts now I just hear the Succession theme music and the image alongside it is Danny DeVito gesturing angrily at his underlings in a brown 90s suit with a very wide tie.

Magic - Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.

Manc - Brings some welcome edge to what is increasingly a board choosing fixed term mortgage repayments.

Max Power - One of the things I like to do from time to time is to look back at old football matches I went to, and revisit them with added historical context. One such game was QPR 3-1 Leicester on 1 January 2008. A mate and I used to go to QPR sometimes despite neither of us being fans, as it was only twenty quid and you could get in on the gate. I don't remember it being New Year's Day, but I do remember it being freezing cold, and I also remember Leicester being absolutely awful, lucky to escape with this scoreline. At this time they had not long been managed by Ian 'Olly' Holloway, and two new centre forwards made their debuts in this game as he desperately threw everything at an ailing season. 'Barry Hayles really showed what he's all about', said Holloway afterwards of one of his new charges, a man who would go on to score 2 in 28 for the club before being farmed out to Cheltenham. Sadly their form continued this way and at the end of the season they were relegated to League One, with Holloway sacked days later. Eight years after that, they won the Premier League title. It's amazing how quickly things can change, in life. Max, for example, could post more.

Mellberg - When I think of 'the Villa', I can only think of the Joachim-Vassell era. You know the cast list. Bosnich. Yorke. Stone. Wright. Taylor. Milosevic. Ehiogu. All the boys. I think this is a function of how memory works. First impressions count for a lot. The funny thing about Mellin is that whenever he posts (which isn't that often) he doesn't seem to have mellowed much, with age. If anything he is even more strident when it comes to sticking up for his brummie boys. Obviously being a veteran of the fuck you, pay me era has put him permanently on a war footing, much like the old Confederate soldiers used to meet up and do the rebel yell. All that bloodshed, all that misery, over Gareth Barry.

mikem - I don't get it. There are so many places you could post exclusively about American politics. Why here? It's like me going onto a NASCAR forum to give in-depth takes on the Chesham & Amersham by-election. Once accused me of being an anti-semite after I said that Daniel Levy would cry salt tears if he dropped 50p down a stairwell.

mo - I enjoy (if that's the right word) his tales from the world of teaching. It sounds like an unbelievable amount of faff and red tape, so I hope it's worth it in some way.

mugbull - It's weird to feel like you miss someone you're not even sure you know.

niko_cee - I did find it pretty hilarious that the spudmaster general sees him as a Little Englander. I guess Guernsey is little England (a very little England). Niko remains one of the better posters around, even if there is the occasional jarring moment like when he reveals he paints/used to paint Warhammer. I try never to be snobbish or dismissive of other people's interests - as mine aren't exactly too cool for school - but when it comes to Warhammer I'm afraid the genial façade crumbles. Never mind. A rare example of someone who likes more different sports than I do.

Offshore Toon - I wish I had an island home. Well, I guess I do, but it's way too big and full of northerners. Offshore seems relatively content with whatever it is he does, shuttling between the mainland and Tracey Island at regular intervals.

Panda Bear - Use of upper case is inversely proportional to level of education, so I can only presume Panda is a professor emeritus by now.

Pen - I can't do a Finnish accent. It's somewhere in the weird void between Welsh and Indian. You know, when you're on a nice quiet walk in the forest, suicidal thoughts warded off for another nine-month winter, and all of a sudden you're attacked by Jiffy Davies on one side and Javagal Srinath on the other.

Pepe - Seems to spend most of his time ing his away around the board's more erroneous posts. It's a life, I suppose. Loves his sim racing which is a tick from me.

phonics - Coming home. I hope he enjoys the absolute pile of rubble he is going to find. He might get busted in his pubic beard returning through Folkestone with a belt of marijuana for Dalston. But he'll be fine.

Pleb - When I played junior cricket there was a lad called Paul Reynolds who used to play in our team (these being the dying days of when kids could still be called Paul). One match we played, under 14, a catch went up towards Paul. I remember watching the ball zip into the air, about ten feet above his head, and then begin its predictable arc back towards the earth, a planet with which it then made unencumbered contact a couple of seconds later. You see, this was a windy day in June, and big white clumps of pollen had been blowing across the pitch from the row of trees by the railway line, on the other side of the ground. Paul, rather than paying attention to the match or the cricket ball coming towards him, had instead been excitedly leaping to and fro, trying to catch the pollen in his hand. I imagine Pleb and Paul to be of a mind.

Queenslander - I sometimes need to put his posts through Google translate but apart from that he's cool as.

randomlegend - Everyone needs a thing. Lord knows I've had a few. RL's is football transfer gossip and its veracity. It's great to have a thing. It makes the mind happy to have a thing. The key is to recognise that your thing is not everybody else's thing, so when others wade naked and innocent onto the territory of your thing, it does not make anyone happy to bark at them like a dog, confused as to why these strange and stupid people have wandered into its garden. It is better to educate them at their own pace with a gentle tongue. I'm done feuding with him, tbh. Life's too short.

Raoul Duke - So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in London and look East, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

Reg - Good poster, though not as good as his namesake from the old board. Enjoy his takes on football.

ScousePig - I seem to remember this name being a nickname he had at school. Must be odd to carry that deep into adult life. It's aged quite well, so he must have done, too.

Serj - Hmm. The hills are alive. I know nothing about him so I'm going to presume that he strolls the streets of Salzburg, like Max, fixing for the Baroness.

Shindig - The way he segues from the post he is following, into the topic that he actually wants to post about, can be quite abrupt. The problem with setting up US Opens in the modern era is that with the additional distance afforded by technology, there is a very fine balance to be struck between growing up the rough and keeping the course fair in terms of firmness. If you grow the rough up too high you are actually only giving the long hitters an even greater advantage, as they can wedge it onto the green from the thick stuff, but the shorter hitters further back having to drill out of the cabbage with mid-irons have no chance. In my view the best defence of these courses is to keep the greens as firm as you can, and if that isn't possible due to weather, make sure the pin positions are as evil as possible. That way you reward quality and not quantity.

SincereTheRebel - Other than a fondness for eating high on the hog, I doubt we have much in common, but I still enjoy every one of his posts without fail.

Sir Andy Mahowry - Clearly had a difficult time in many ways but still finds lots to enjoy. Good on him.

Smjffy - The complete opposite of me. Lives a life of impulsive chaos. And why not? Hopefully the next few years will be good ones.

Spammer - Other than his record of storming off the board at the drop of a hat, his penchant for extravagant sexual practices, and his decision to walk from Leeds to Sheffield and strike up conversations with strangers along the way, I would say that Hammer is perfectly suited to a career as a counsellor.

Spikey M - Spikey's story is in many ways the story of many of us on TTH. He joins in the 2000s, presumably as a teenager who has time to play loads of FM (this being before social media has really taken off). Life isn't all that. He does crazy shit. He gets a board gimmick (the small head stuff). He posts a picture of himself in a pink skirt that is still burned into my brain like something from Vietnam. He goes to uni. He disappears for a while. Quite some while, I think, in his case. Then he comes back and it's all a bit different. The FM is on the sidelines, and our starry eyes have all glazed over now. He's made something of himself. There's the wife, there are kids, there's a job. It's all fine, just fine. Isn't it? Then covid comes, and heads start to go. Where this story ends, who can predict. I think Spikey will handle it better than most of us, just like he's handled the last 20 years better than most of us. It probably doesn't feel like that, to him, but then it never does.

Spoonsky - I have spent a day in Utah. The two things I primarily remember about it were having to eat native American food (awful), and this being all over the local news: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Lori_Hacking. It was quite early on in the case, i.e. she had just disappeared and the search was on. The next day I moved on to Nevada, and forgot all about it - until now. I see it turned out to be the husband. It usually is. I don't really know what Spoons is up to these days but he is a nice kid (probably about 28 by now, but you'll always be a kid to me) so good luck to him. I sense he is unlikely to murder his wife.

SvN - Reading his posts in the jobs thread makes me never want to be anyone's boss. In my head I'd be the perfect boss: calm, firm but fair, understanding, and a brilliant motivator. I'd create an atmosphere where I'm a friend first, boss second. Perhaps an entertainer third. In reality, of course, I would be a quivering mess who melted into gloop on the floor as soon as anyone tried pulling a fast one. SvN seems to have the minerals to deal with that sort of thing. I always go back to that scene in Moneyball when Brad Pitt teaches Jonah Hill how to fire people. Even then, though, it's baseball players. You can't pull some wet fish into your office as a boss in the real world and just say: 'Carlos, you've been traded to the Tigers'. Unless he got a job at Frosties, I suppose.

TG09 - Is this a glitch in the matrix? It sounds like the chassis number of something with a Yamaha engine which blew up under Martin Brundle in the early 90s.

The Merse - Would make a good addition to Arsenal Fan TV, if it ever wanted to lose thousands of viewers.

thommo - The Cottage always feels to me a bit like the Globe, and probably with a similar clientele. You know the ones. Cunts with binoculars. Ruddy-cheeked tossers who just want to see a damn good game of footie. Pricks who remember Guy Goma but not Alain Goma. People who bring picnics. It's bad enough at the cricket, but you simply shouldn't be allowed to visit a football ground if you've been to Waitrose or M&S on the same day. Football is about working class pride, or, in my case, being uncomfortably adjacent to other people's working class pride and sort of going along with it. Football doesn't work at Fulham. They should be relocated to Uxbridge.

Vercetti - Assuming he changed his username away from 'Pards' around the time that the man himself was relieved of his duties at West Ham United London, that's fifteen years he's been phoning in an existence on here. Pull your fucking finger out before I start referring to you as 'Verc'.

Waffdon - I umpire cricket now, and each week I get sent to do a game wherever in the league, and am paired up with another umpire. The other week I was paired with a man called Bruce. Bruce, like me, is a Chelsea fan. He has followed them home and away and not missed a game for 25 years. He was in Stockholm, in Moscow, in Munich, he's been everywhere following the Blues. Even luckier for him was that he lives in Aldershot, so for many years, he was able to go to every single reserve and youth game as well (which they played at Aldershot Town, prior to Cobham and then the more recent move to Kingstonian). Bruce was rattling off full XIs from reserve team games 20 years ago. He remembers Mickey Droy. He swears blind that Charly Musonda was the best ever to come through the Chelsea youth system. He said that Mason Mount was always gonna make it - you could just tell. If you cut Bruce, he would bleed blue, and when he bled to death, his dying words would be 'Oh Dennis Wise, scored a fucking great goal, with ten minutes to go, in the San Siro'. Even then, I doubt Bruce loves Chelsea as much as Waff does.

wullie - I think he has a huge case to answer as far as starting the pandemic is concerned. Hear me out on this. First of all, he only posts to talk about things like selling a house, buying a house, moving house, and bringing up children. Onerous, life-dominating tasks. Alibi, if anyone accused him of having had the time to plan and execute a deadly global pandemic? Sorted. Next - and this is where you'll gasp - think about it. Coronavirus, otherwise known as SARS-CoV-2. That's right. SARS: Sisu Are Really Shit. CoV: need I say more. 2: that's the number of MILLENNIA he will spend in jail if this gets out. Now, you may say innocent until proven guilty, but I haven't seen him deny it once. Something must be done.

Yeldoow - Is this Black Country for 'You'll do?' Got nothing else.

Yevrah - You know what should really be a sitcom? His life. The sitcom would be called 'Yevrah', obviously. The premise is that a man in his early 40s has a successful career but is slowly becoming more and more deranged as the world goes to pot around him. Every episode starts with him ranting at his broom at night, glass of something in hand. Each series has a side arc of his house becoming infested with a different animal: rats, then bats, then frogs, cockroaches, dolphins etc until we get decommissioned. There will have to be a love interest, of course; Amy next door seems a worthy recipient of this title. I think the full on ranting maniac character, slowly losing his grip on reality, like a nouveau Basil Fawlty without the snobbery, would do big numbers on Channel 4 or maybe even BBC2, and find an even better home on Dave thereafter. A period piece about heads having gone. I don't know how to write screenplays, but I'm sure someone on TTH can do the honours.

Lofty:

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Andrew - Seems to have been Yevrahed by the pandemic, but landed in the Magic camp. Hopefully things get back to normal soon and you can rage at other things.
Andy - Top bloke, loves Southampton and BBQing, got a proper job. Solid member.
Bam - Possibly Micky Flanagan.
Baz - I believe beneath his weirdness, thirst for referral codes and volunteering for tedious office jobs no sane person would, there is an alright lad in there.
Boydy - Not sure if I am passing him in different threads at the moment or he hasnt been as active, always a decent poster.
bruhnaldo - Florida Man incarnate, hopefully got the help he needed.
Dark Soldier - Cryptodaddy and horror film expert, rarely posting now but quality over quantity is fine.
Don - I suspect he is parodying himself even when playing at being earnest, entertaining at times but usually when hoisted by his own petard.
Giggles - had a recent break, decent input for the beer and brewing stuff and good entertainment for irritating other posters.
Ian - TTH's Roger Federer
igor_balis - gets a lot of undeserved stick, as other have noted. Seems decent enough.
Jimmy Floyd - One of the main players here, I think the board would be genuinely poorer in his absence. Even though I don't always agree with some of his views his eloquent posting is excellent and THE COMPUTER doesn't hurt either.
John Arne - RIP
Kikó - unfairly maligned by some, not sure what the source of ire is personally, a decent lad and poster.
Lewis - like Jim, another poster the community is blessed with and would struggle without. Cutting wit, apparent photographic memory of everything ever to transpire on both boards, not afraid of upsetting people. I might not always like it but can't help but admire it.
Magic - I think MJ was dealt a bad hand by life over the last few years and the pandemic is a bit like the final straw for him, a fertile battle ground in the larger culture war to stick it to those who wronged him. Hopefully things are rosier going forward.
Manc - Very direct, a good poster in his own right on certain topics but at other times can seem to exist only to hammer certain other posters.
Mellberg - TTH's Jordan Belfort, top lad and correctly mugged my prediction of a Villa relegation last season right off (though I did revise this after we sold you the best keeper ever to come through our academy for peanuts, ffs).
Mike - Diet Baz
mo - a passionate teacher who seems too wholesome for the board.
niko_cee - a good all rounder, keeps the threads moving along without doing anything particularly offensive. TTH's Elano?
Offshore Toon - Offy has always had a spiky streak, though more prominent in days gone by than it is now, that could make you worry he thought you were a genuine prick. Underneath that though, he is a top lad living the island dream and posting good stuff to boot.
Panda Bear - A once prolific poster gone to seed.
Pepe - Has mellowed since his posting heyday, mainly exists to lord it over us with the lack of covid rules he has to endure now. Still, Pepe
phonics - seems alright but maybe too easily baited at times.
Queenslander - the dispatches he sends from down under make it seem like things are on the slide down there and he is a Max Mad like figure holding back the tide of drongos, godspeed to you and your cracking beard.
randomlegend - ITK RL, medical expert, knife connoisseur. Gets a lot of shit but seems alright to me, also gave me some decent advice on knives so fair play.
Shindig - From his Stewart Lee hey day things are a bit more grounded for Shinners these days, still has the calibre but the consistency is a bit sparser. Same for all of us I suppose?
SincereTheRebel - Sincere is a wildcard, a maverick, a genuine one of a kind. He comes on here and posts amazing insights into his life, his thoughts, his dad's likely hate of us all. Long may it continue.
Sir Andy Mahowry - Like a rainy away day at Everton, Mahow is a fixture that has existed seemingly forever. Less spam than the old board, the quality of his input is mixed but the board still needs it.
Smjffy - hopefully getting sorted with real life.
Spammer - A bit unhinged, sporadic posts are a window into his insanity.
Spikey M - Holding down a champions league spot alongside Ian, Lewis and Jimmy. Spikey complements the other posters and styles well. Manages to post a lot given his presumably busy family life.
SvN - Semi Skimmed Scrooge
The Merse - I've always liked Merse, though I can't recall amy recent posts of note. Surprised to see other opinions slagging him off.
Waffdon - Waff is a good poster, upsets a few applecarts but that's ok. Reminds me when I was his age and pissing off all types of people. Get another round of jager bombs in and wind up Twitter.

Pepe:

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7om – Top, top lad. I don’t remember, is he still in China? Back in the UK? US? Still forced to trim the bushes to a proper length? Doesn’t matter, one of the backbones of our quite excellent society.

Bam – Check your pms.

Baz – People always post about how mental he is and I always thought that it was so overdone, that he was alright, if a bit goofy. I was wrong. He is mental. In a good way, since I live in a different continent. Makes me lol occasionally.

Boydy – A former favorite of mine. Has lost some of his edge. He sold out, I guess. Still good, but just that.

Cord – Shot me dead as I was about to board the helicopter. Enough said.

Dan – Read 7om.

Dark Soldier – Living legend. Doesn’t really contribute much these days, but he doesn’t have to. His track record does the work for him. He is one of those who everyone respects, and the new kids don’t understand why. But those who know, know. He seems to be happy with his life, which makes me happy, even though that is the main reason why he doesn’t provide the good stuff on a regular basis anymore. You should give us an updated picture of those knees, mate.

Don – Taz used to be one of my favorites. As we have all collectively matured, he has remained mostly the same and as such, feels a bit out of place. Like a friend still stuck in the high school years. Still one of my favorites.

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Giggles – Top 5 poster. Always comes off as miserable, but I am sure that he is much more pleasant in person. He used to think (still does?) that I am some sort of hipster for some reason. Stopped posting for a while, which was a real shame, but he seems to be back. Could join me and Ian for some casual beers.

Ian – Massive, massive cunt for not playing Streets of Rage with me. Aside from that, he might be the most pleasant person in the world. He just gives that nice vibe. Never anything bad to say, always a polite smile (I imagine). Would be up for having some beers with him if he didn’t leave across the ocean and he wasn’t a massive cunt who wouldn’t play Streets of Rage with me.

Igor – I love reading his posts. I hope he keeps sharing all the EPIC bants he gets into every week, even if he gets shit for them all the time. I love when Lewis makes fun of him even more. Keep it up, lad.

Jimmy – Provides some of the best reading. I thought that it would all go downhill after he left Korea, but his material is still up there. Always interesting to hear about smart people stuck in mundane situations where they are clearly miles above anyone around. I don’t remember, did you ever get yourself a wheel and pedals? You should splurge in some beastly setup to recreate your motorsport fantasies. It is ok to spend money once in a while.

Kiko – Had to deal with constantly being called a pretentious wanker by some. Instead of chimping out, he has leaned into it. A bit of a pretentious wanker, but a top, top lad and a top, top poster.

Lewis – Still the GOAT. I am glad to see him moving up in the world, with his cushy bureaucrat job and newly bought house. His next years will be great. In his new studio, sitting on the La-Z-Boy, mini fridge fully stocked with pints of milk, Brock on the side. Football on the telly, laptop on the side table to lol at Mahow. Will remain the GOAT until the end of the board.

Lofty – Another living legend. His stories of depravity provided lots of joy in years past. Acts as a respectable member of society nowadays, yet we know. We know.

Magic – What a fall from grace. Life hit Magic in the chin hard, and you can tell. Still love him (who doesn’t love a trainwreck) but damn, some times it is painful to see. At least I am glad that he got that e-victory over his former wife by giving her NOVID. I hope that you find happiness mate.

Offy – Don’t notice him much these days, but still one of my top boys. Hope everything’s well with you.

Pepe -

Phonics – Essential to the current iteration of the board. Doesn’t make much sense most of the time, but then that’s part of the charm. Gets more shit than he deserves, I think that he is alright. Would definitely lol at him if I saw him walking around wearing those shoes that he wears. If I beat you in Tekken, I will teabag.

Randomlegend – I feel bad for it, but I find him very irritating. Strikes me as the kind to show up to a kickabout wearing goggles and shinguards over his socks. Nothing really wrong with him and provides the terrific service of riling up the likes of Magic (and me, I guess) so I hope he continues. Sorry mate.

Shindig – He used to be one of those who? entries, but he has really grown on me. His constant output is commendable, even if you will be hard pressed to remember a single of his posts. He is like one of those midfielders whose only job is to receive the ball from a defender and pass it sideways to a more talented player. Might not get lots of plaudits but is important to the operation of the place.

Sincere – What a top lad. His posts are always quality. Seems to live in a completely different world than most of you British folk. Gran Turismo pro. You should try a real sim, mate. I hope that you find your Neymar.

Mahow – The whole hating England thing is odd. Aren’t you English? Not that it matters. Top lad, crucial to the operation. Definitely has a board VIP badge, which you know he would wear with pride as he gives a sideways glance to the commoners before awkwardly staring at the floor and sweating his balls out once he realizes a ‘female’ is within sight.

Spikey – Another top five poster (I’ll have to check, I think my top five might be in the double digits). He was all about the BANTS before. Mostly serious business now. Lost his edge. More refined, like Rose wine. Still funny. Still a top lad.

Vercetti – Doesn’t post much anymore, does he? Still love him.

Wullie – He used to be hilarious. He seems just a regular poster now, Shindig-style. I used to have a friend who played bass in a metal band in high school. He then went to med school. After many years, I ran into him. I asked him if he still played music. I am a doctor now, he replied. Wullie gives me that kind of vibe.

Waffelz – He seems largely unchanged after all these years. I liked him before, still like him now. Used to post more about THE SESH, but I guess that he realizes that his antics won’t gain as much traction in old, grumpy TTH, so smart move. I think he mostly posts about football these days, so we don’t really interact much.

Yevrah – On Twitch, some entrepreneurial ladies have figured out that streaming while toodling about their hot tub turns out to be good business. Yevrah should do a hot tub stream. Instead, of boobs, he would provide social commentary. Last year was the golden opportunity for this, but while the pandemic is almost over, there is still time if he acts fast. If he got big enough (he would), he could even have special guests. Tubrage with Yevrah, featuring special guest Rand Paul. I would watch the hell out of that.

It is now past 4 am now and I am tired as fuck, so

Everyone else – I love you.

Sincere:

Toggle Spoiler

Adramelch - I can't say anything here
Alan Shearer The 2nd - He is in the car thread in a BMW
Alex - Only really noticed him in the Hip-Hop thread, but more now since the Leeds come up?
Bam - Been around since day one. PM him for more details
Baz - I don't trust this idiot's links he posts when I'm 100% sure every time you click his links, he gets coins on the back end that I'm not benefiting from.
Bernanke -
Dark Soldier - Native Coventry Stan. Are you still into Drum and Bass?
Don - Im not sure when this strong-nosed Iranian returned, but he has changed at all. I've seen his nostrils in person. Both are mega.
Foe - Nice lad.
Giggles - Top Ireland or Bottom Ireland. I came to your land, invited you and you were nowhere to be seen.
Gray Fox - Another one of the Liverpool men in here. He may have the highest rank.
igor_balis - Top lad. Went to Rugby to his party one time with his weirdo friends. That would make me one of his weirdo friends too.
ItalAussie - Comes across as one of the mature, intelligent nerds on the board. He does the brain and heart surgery I believe, at the same time.
Jimmy Floyd - Deliveries in the betting thread with his golf picks that I still haven't dived onto. Why?
John - Kiko, Lewis, and John all seem the same. Been here a long time
John Arne - How are those Vietnamese pockets doing?
Kikó - Kiko, Lewis, and John all seem the same. Been here a long time
Lewis - Kiko, Lewis, and John all seem the same. Been here a long time
Lofty - Tyson Fury stole your whole personna lad
Luca - Did the chef dreams come together?
Magic - Went through a rough time with his wife and child. Stay strong.
Mike - Releated to Baz.
Offshore Toon - One of the members who have been here since I signed up.
Pepe - Resident Mexican who is a really cool lad. Here a long time. Good lad.
phonics - Silly Swiss Idiot.
Queenslander - Legend. He has given me quite a bit of intel over the years. I respect him. Aussie.
randomlegend - Interesing poster
Sir Andy Mahowry - Works as an Agent for Fifa. Every Fifa point you buy, a percentage ends up in this cunts pocket
Smjffy - Hopefully he is still going strong as he had some health issues in the past.
Spoonsky - I'm sure you are all grown up now. Are you still in the USA and
SvN - Legend
The Merse - Here comes the arsenal boys.
Waffdon - Proper lads lad. He gives an insight into the mind of how the youth run their lives today. Fueled on Class A.

@Yevrah There you go, edit into the opening post.

Let me know if I've missed any. Magic yours can go in when you finish it you cunt.

[randomlegend]

Yev you nonce, I did all the work just edit the OP. You don't need to be an admin for that.

[Yevrah]

Nope, not touching it.

[Spikey M]

[Yevrah]

Which I'd decided well before I wasn't a mod.

PM SvN or Kiko.

[randomlegend]

Nope, not touching it.

@SvN can you set this as his profile picture?

[Disco]

I can offer you some excellent thread-facing real estate on post number four, if that would be useful.

I will need to be made king of the internet and have everyone's credit card details first though.

[Spikey M]

I'm willing to edit the second post if someone changes Mahows name to Nonce.

[Yevrah]

RL, if you really wanted to annoy people you need to make that picture bigger so it brings the horizontal scroll bar into play.

[SincereTheRebel]

I like you Sincere, quite a bit actually, but like fuck am I spending time doing that.

You're a dickhead and its on-site.

[Yevrah]

You're a dickhead and its on-site.

And I'm still not doing it. If it's ok for people to be a twat where they like then I assume that privilege also applies to me.

[Ian]

A WDYTOE on the go and yet the biggest meltdown is because Yev can't curate his threads any more. We need to up our game.

[Offshore Toon]

The overly sensitive types have all fucked off and the rest of us have grown too old to care.

Who do you reckon is most likely to have a meltdown? I'll do a one man list to try and get things going.

[Dquincy]

And I'm still not doing it. If it's ok for people to be a twat where they like then I assume that privilege also applies to me.

To be fair, you've been exercising that right for the past 48 hours. And I'm all for it.

[randomlegend]

Magic finish your list you cunt.

[Henry]

So, I pop out for a bit and you take me off the WDYTOE list? It's like that?

[Baz]

And kicked out The Office.

[Spikey M]

Someone get rid of the bot please.

[Lewis]

El Botterz.

[Smjffy]

Well, day one of isolation today so why the fuck not....

[Offshore Toon]

-james- - I feel like James is the kind of poster that probably gets ignored (except for music) when dropping knowledge purely because he doesn't put that much effort in. Spent a night with him at Glasto years back which I can barely remember, so we're due another one next time round. As a fellow refugee he'll always be one of my dogs.
7om - Great guy, great poster, and thankfully isn't one of those scientists.
Adamski - Haven't seen him post in a while but I always appreciated his aggression towards certain members.
Alan Shearer The 2nd - Like many of us he's probably settled more into a routine of reading over writing. Definitely isn't a bad poster but apart from contributions to gardening he hasn't made much of an impact on me.
Alex - A very solid poster whose posts I never skip, especially in the hip hop thread.
Andy - I respect his opinion on football but can't recall him posting much elsewhere tbh.
AyDee - We might as well change his name to Freddy Adu. You had all the promise in the world and we trusted you to lead the board into a new dawn. Where are you?! Let's be avin you.
Bam - Some people don't change and sometimes that's a good thing. You've got to love Bam, even if just for his tireless customer service operation via DMs. My favourite Bam is mindless confrontations and I would fucking love you and Giggles to get into an old man war. You know he said your lot couldn't scaffold a washing machine, right? Just saying.
Baz - Baz is a total freak but in terms of personality he's one of the top posters. You've got to appreciate the honesty and insight into the mind of what could have easily been a serial killer without Mike keeping him in check.
Boydy - Seems to mostly dabble in memes and pictures of cats these days. Pathetic.
bruhnaldo - Fuck knows where he's gone. Was he an incel? Seemed like it but he left the house to be a sad soccer yank so maybe not, although the relationship thread stories suggest he was a bit. Anyway, not a bad poster but not exactly missed.
Cord - If you want more Cord, we need more Haxball. Simple as that.
Dark Soldier - DS is a bit of a player when it comes to forums and it's become more than obvious that we're not his main gal, which is a shame because at his best he's as good as it gets. I think we'd all love to see some of his writing, but more importantly we need this man in charge of the TTH pension fund.
Davgooner - He's probably fucked his life up, using the van to sleep in and is now ashamed to show his face here.
Disco - Seems like a smart guy, but doesn't stand out much from the crowd.
Don - Don's repetitiveness is worth it for when he lashes out in retaliation. He definitely puts an act on for the board but it's too far gone now. I reckon he's sound irl and knows how to have a night out.
Dquincy - I love the audacity. People try to shit on him and he bats them off like it's nothing. You can't beat a man that doesn't give a shit, so stop trying.
Foe - A cuddly poster on a forum that doesn't do hugs. Love him or hate him, he brings something that nobody else does and I appreciate that.
Giggles - He can be hilarious, he can be a moron. Usually that's my kind of guy, but he's too grumpy with it. I still like him, but he's likely a prick irl.
Ian - The operations department of the board. He's definitely grown a lot over his time here but I'd like to file a complain about your abandonment of Haxball. This board focuses a lot of hate at posters sharing nudes on WhatsApp, but what about the Steam pricks? They're way worse.
igor_balis - I know we're not in school anymore so effort shouldn't be criticised, but he does try too hard. Last month I had to tell my mate that he isn't interesting or funny enough to talk as much as he does and I feel like you could say the same about Igor. He's clearly a nice guy and doesn't deserve any shit, but I don't have anything else to say.
Jimmy Floyd - His golf picks in the betting thread should really be highlighted more than they are (new thread?). He's a very smart guy, great writer and cares about the board, but I think there's probably a slight personality clash between us as it's never really clicked (aside from the odd MSN chat).
John Arne - Quiet but good poster who brings a unique perspective to the board.
Kikó - Great poster and actually puts effort in. I'm not sure at what point the board's perception of him altered from pretty hooligan to smug banker but we're due a change.
Lewis - Lewis used to be far and away the best poster on the board, but he isn't anymore. He's the funniest and knows it, but he's phoning it in these days. That's not to say he isn't as good as we've got, but we need our big hitters back at their best. The decline in awards and tournaments probably made him lose his hunger. If nobody else bothers, I'll do an awards for this year over winter so pull your finger out.
Lofty - Lofty has the stories of Igor but the intelligence to not ram it down our throats. Great all round poster.
Luca - I reckon Luca has an insane likeability irl and that carries through to the board. Show me a poster that doesn't like Luca and I'll show you Giggles.
Magic - An absolute mess of a man but you can't deny it makes for great reading. I love that you don't hide anything from us even though it makes you look like such a moron. I'd say never change, but you should probably humble yourself after fighting medicine and losing in incredibly dramatic fashion.
Manc - Has some good one liners in him. Not sure where he came from or when he appeared but I like him.
Mazuuurk - Does Maz post anymore? He used to be a right wildcard off his nut on MSN, but seems very calm these days. Maybe move back to Paris.
Mellberg - A top poster who cares about the place. He has a real air of maturity these days and is much more intelligent than I thought back in the day.
Mike - It looks like he's fully settled down and happy these days, but I'd appreciate it if you could take some time away to give us a documentary on Baz.
mugbull - Most likely autistic.
niko_cee - Good poster and it's nice to have someone on here to bounce off with Channel Islands news once a year.
Panda Bear - He was very good on his day. I actually have no idea what he's up to these days.
Pen - Does Pen still post? I feel like we've got a few people on this list for historic reasons over anything else.
Pepe - Pepe is a don. Sometimes he gets drawn into debates on here but he ain't that guy.
phonics - I reckon if he honed in his interests and talents he'd bring a lot to this place. I feel like he wants to be right about everything. There's nothing more boring that two posters going at it on here who don't have much of a clue what they're talking about, and because of this I usually skip phonics' posts.
Pleb - In a just world, Pleb would be king of the board. Maybe one day.
Queenslander - I haven't been sleeping well recently, but it isn't all bad as you really get to appreciate Queenslander's posts much, much more when you witness them in the moment and you're bored out of your nut with nothing else to do. A very valuable service, mate. Even without insomnia, Queens is a good poster and a top guy.
randomlegend - I'm not sure where I stand with RL. He's clearly a geek but he does have his moments and, if nothing else, brings great insight into doctors/hospitals.
Raoul Duke - I don't really notice Raoul much. He seems really into his job and indie music.
Reg - Nice little all round poster but definitely not spectacular.
Shindig - Shindig is a strange man trying to live a normal life. He does bring value to the board but I bet nobody knows where it lies. It seems like you have some interesting hobbies that you don't share, so share them.
SincereTheRebel - If you don't like Sincere, you don't like life. He has an interesting take on things and I'd love to hear more from him on absolutely everything.
Sir Andy Mahowry - This is not a good entry to start getting bored of writing. Mahow is Mahow. We know it, he knows it, whatever.
Smjffy - I like Smiffy a lot even if he is a nutter. He has a personality that doesn't come across well over a forum but he's had some great moments.
Spammer - Does anybody read his posts? I skip posts from a lot of people quite often these days, but I will always, without a shadow of doubt, see Spammer's walls of nothing and keep scrolling.
Spikey M - Everybody loves Spikey and with good reason. He's probably in with a good shout for Best Poster at the end of the year.
Spoonsky - Another child prodigy that shat the bed. I'd quite like to hear what you're up to these days as it's probably more interesting than a lot of shit being posted here.
SvN - I don't notice him much as a poster but he takes good care of the board.
Vercetti - Pards knows he needs to do better. I'll leave it at that.
Waffdon - He would absolutely batter RL and you'd love to see it. He could do with upping his game all-round but I like the guy.
wullie - Still a good poster but certainly not what he was so I doubt he cares much about the place anymore.
Yevrah - I wish I'd written this list differently and done all the interesting posters at the beginning, and Yev would definitely have been one of the first. What a very interesting time we've had recently. I think everybody took Yev's behaviour differently, but he definitely made the board fun again. The reaction from a lot of people is probably why this place will never get back to it's best. There's a good core of people who genuinely care about this place and thus the posters on it, but there's also a constant smear of negativity that likely stops a lot of people from sharing. Yev's idea of a breakaway forum wasn't all that ridiculous as having somewhere where you can receive genuine feedback without having to bat away those trying to get a joke in would have real value. Anyway, I'd be lying if I said I've always thought Yev was a top poster, or even that I do now. There's a slight indifference between us but as with Jimmy that's just how things work out sometimes. I'd love to keep hearing about the sitcom, though.

Board as a whole - I'm not sure if we're stagnating or in a steady state of decline, but this place really isn't what it used to be. I blame mobile browsing for making us all lazy as this place thrived when you had people putting real effort into their posts. We need more content, more weirdos, more ideas. If you're doing something different, use this place as a blog like Yev with the sitcom. That was the best TTH moment for a long, long time because it was genuinely interesting. It was the best of the board and we need more of that. Don't calm your passion, share it.

[Spikey M]

Mahows entry

[Spikey M]

I take issue with Magics entry. There is to be no humbling on my watch, he is perfect as he is. If anything, he should double down and go big on the "I WAS NOT COUNTED AS A HOSPITALISATION" stuff. I'd love to find his Twitter account.

Give us a link Maggerz.

[Yevrah]

Thanks for the kind words Toon.

On the sitcom stuff, other things have been going on in life over the last couple/few weeks (basically fun) so I've done nothing with it since. The most frustrating thing about the whole episode was the belief that I was taking ALL criticism of it personally. I wasn't and I never did. In fact the best posts I can remember in the thread were Kiko's (DVD in the rubbish, which was brilliant) and Jim's (critique of the opening scene, which was really useful). No, the actual things that pissed me off were the "you're MENTAL Lolz" type posts, which were mind bogglingly tedious, the response from me to which then morphed into the accusation that I couldn't take any criticism at all. I guess I should have ignored them, but I've never been very good at that and I was naive in thinking that a group of people (who're what? Mostly in their early-mid 30s at least) wouldn't indulge in that, but there we go.

[randomlegend]

Even at my current fatness I would kill Waff. Other than that you've got me about figured out.

[Waffdon]

Are you even 6ft

[Spikey M]

Wide.

[Ian]

Wide, yeah, he said that.

EDIT: Fuck's sake, that's what you get for leaving a tab open for a few minutes and coming back without refreshing.

[Spikey M]

that's what you get for leaving a tab open for a few minutes and coming back without refreshing.

[Ian]

Wide.

[randomlegend]

Wide yeah

[phonics]

Wide

[Baz]

Offy leading the "let's make TTH great again" battle. You love to see it.

I'll have to start taking my stickers out again.

[Mazuuurk]

I was in Paris about 14 years ago, Offy

I'm a boring family man these days. But I'm here.

[Offshore Toon]

I was in Paris about 14 years ago, Offy

I'm a boring family man these days. But I'm here.

14 years. Jesus. Feels like about 10.

If you ever fancy binning the family off I'm sure we can do a whip round to get you back in Paris.

[Lewis]

To say I'm 'phoning it in' suggests that there is loads more I can be doing, which I don't think there is when activity is generally lower and Harold isn't here to pick pointless arguments with.

[randomlegend]

There's loads of people you could be picking pointless arguments with, don't try and pin this on Harold.

[igor_balis]

Last month I had to tell my mate that he isn't interesting or funny enough to talk as much as he does

no you didn't

[Spikey M]

We should set about getting rid of all nuclear weapons.

[Shindig]

Can we fire them all at Afghanistan?

[Spikey M]

We're trying to lure him into an argument, not a wank.

[Lewis]

There's loads of people you could be picking pointless arguments with, don't try and pin this on Harold.

The fun with Harold was seeing how many posts it took to get him arguing against his own previous posts.

[Offshore Toon]

Remember when Harold posted all of his Open University essay marks and feedback on Teh 'Fuge? Such a sad man.

[randomlegend]

Remember when Harold posted all of his Open University essay marks and feedback on Teh 'Fuge? Such a sad man.