Why fucking throw that pun in there in the first place, you cunt? Absolute carnage.
Why fucking throw that pun in there in the first place, you cunt? Absolute carnage.
This is some top teir Autism. Go on lad.
I need cake puns (ideally something to spruce up a 'I'll be in touch when I can' sign-off). Shall I go with 'Haha that pun sent me into a spiral of top tier autism'.
Punpedia has offered Pakistan->Bakeistan and I've had to take the rest of the day off as a result.
'P.S. I am not from Pakistan.'
I'll be in sponge - sorry, touch! - when I can.
At least 60% of women and 20% of men would laugh at that.
And I'd probably never email you again. Win-win.
I missed that.
+1
Boring story but
Every so often I get burdened with running a weight loss competition at work. I made a spreadsheet template for people to fill in and then I give them a SECRET IDENTITY and send it back. I also have a spreadsheet with everyone’s details on to track the whole thing and produce weekly league tables and stuff.
Anyway I accidentally sent someone the tracker spreadsheet instead of the template, so he could see everyone’s weight. Whoops. I tried recalling it instantly but he’d already opened it. Neither of us have mentioned it and he has since sent back the proper template and it’s business as usual.
Also, someone else in my team is on about giving out my spreadsheets to local businesses so they can run their own competition. Fuck off. Pay me for it. Took me bloody ages, and three iterations of running it before I got it spot on. Plus it’s not like ‘fill this in and it’s done’ cos I’ve gotta do loads. Arseholes. She wrote the most basic guide to use it but doesn’t actually say how to get started, just ‘have everyone send their weight in every week’ as if that’s it. Clueless to how much work it actually is. Proper pissed me off. Plus she sent it to our comms team asking them to remove any of our corporate branding. How about brand it with my face considered nobody else contributes anything towards it, yet seemingly the “healthy weight team” (of which I’m not one of) get credited for the entire six week slog. Just, urggggg.
I'm a twit
Turns out it was actually 2nd Teir autism @Don. I'm sorry for the downgrade but I'm sure you can understand.
In that scenario Baz obviously you claim you are too busy to do that shit anymore and let the simpletons discover how time consuming it is.
Or call them all fat.
Taz should ask Baz's fatsos to help with the cake puns. Bet they've heard them all
That joke was the cherry on the icing.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-57027046
First of many.
This week's episode of 'Contemplation of the Mundane/Autistic Adventures' concerns email subject lines.
Say you are carrying out a review process of a batch load of cases and emailing the result of your review to whoever is working the case.
I went with an email subject line of: [Case Reference Number]- [Name of Case] - [Review Result]
I then didn't repeat the case reference and name in the body of the email. Upon reflection, this may be an error. How do we feel about this? The purpose of the subject line is clear but what is its intrinsic relationship with the body of the email? Can the body be separated from the subject? If so, when, how and why? If not, they should then be taken as a whole but is it wrong to assume that of the recipient?
The realisation that I'm accepting being chained to a desk for a sum of money is truly hitting home at this point into the WFH adventures. Fucking open the offices (don't obvs but you know).
You shouldn't put the key information/result in the title because presumably it's only for the person opening it, so bold it in the main body of text.
This is what I saw done elsewhere that made me think my method was inferior and upon reflection, it's the right answer as why would they need to know the result only through reading the subject.
Having said that, they simply went with
[Name of Review Project]
But I think the superior option would still be to include
[Case Reference Number]- [Name of Case] - [Name of Review Project]
Some of the shitty notepad e-mails you get set me off. That and signatures in stupid fonts.
Working with Taz must be exhausting.
There should be a sort of in-house style guide for the civil service that covers e-mail titles and how to format content, like how cunty academic publishers make you do all the work for them. It would instantly put about half the [female] workforce off on stress leave (not to mention smoke out the mongs who write the job postings) but the productivity gains would be through the roof once people mastered it.
Standardisation is absolutely critical to productivity and getting rid of risks when you have these cretins about.
Spikey, come fiddle with my mushroom.
Comic sans shouldn't be anywhere near an email. Our boss used to use that.
How do we feel about land acknowledgments on signatures?
I have one requesting acknowledgment from the likes of Taz.
Works got me involved in supporting with a gambling addiction programme provider.
They currently support people with “substance addiction” and I randomly quipped in a meeting about gambling addiction and now they’re adding it to what they offer and want me to help. Talk about the blind leading the blind. Might as well ask Ronald McDonald to look after your cows.
I'm a twit
Send them a link to your OLBG blog.
I guarantee Baz is a Fire Warden and all the rest of that bollocks as well.
Assessment went okay today, thanks for asking.
Was close to sacking it off for the first five minutes but I think I figured it out. Interview is Monday.
Wasn't too fussed about getting it originally but the lad that started at the same time as me (axe throwing stag do)'s line manager recently got seconded to a higher up position, and its likely he'll get her job. So I don't wanna look a fool, floundering mid-table while he's being promoted to Europa League slots just cos he actually has a degree (in graphic design, I hasten to add).
And as for that snipe, Spikey. I'm a mental health first aider, employee champion, culture champion and, of course, spreadsheet badboy. Gotta get your name and face known throughout every department, even if it is ugh him again comments.
I'm a twit
The Corporate Champion.
"We're looking for a real up and comer for our department, Jeff. Any recommendations?"
well, Baz, our stationary monitor has been bang on it this year....
It seems to work the opposite to Baz's plan in our office where people doing these voluntary bollocks roles are roundly mocked by the rank and file, frustrated by their ongoing lack of promotion.
Our spot is trying to fob us off with hot desk working when we go back despite our department favouring a return to the fixed desk status quo. Not looking good, but the decision makers don't seem to grasp that we are the most essential department they have, and work optimally when we aren't carrying hundred page documents back and forth on commutes and trying to resolve issues through email and teams instead of just leaning to the side of your monitor and asking the relevant person sat a few metres away. Hotdesking sounds like hell.
In our case, I don't think the ones chasing for extra stuff are doing it to trade up. It's mainly added insurance if the axe comes.
What's their logic for hot-desking? I've only ever done it when availability is a problem. We're swimming in desks now. I got mine back when the office weeb buggered off to Japan.
"We can't sack him, he's the milk monitor!"
They're jobs no cunt wants, so they give them titles and blow smoke up the nearest plebs arse so they'll do it. They're not saving you from the axe and they're certainly not getting you promoted.
Pick your targets wisely, Spikey. If it wasn't for these heroes putting themselves forward they'd try and force them onto us and as covered by my earlier posts, I an far too busy and important for that shit.
Yep. If they want you to do something bad enough, they'll make you. That's how I wound up with a busy summer. Or they, y'know, could hire someone for the first time in 5 years.
Baz's main role is clearly pretty quiet since he describes his duties as "spreadsheet" so the additional roles are probably welcome to fill up the day.
Sounds about right. Even if they keep the real estate, they can save on carbon emissions or something else creatively accounted for.
Medical staffing at work have MASSIVELY fucked up and not paid a tonne of locum shifts which were worked over the last few months, particularly during the last covid peak. I'm out probably a grand at the moment but I've given up working it out. There's been a few doctors who only work locums who haven't been able to pay their mortgage.
Someone from medical staffing today suggested those doctors who are struggling because they've not been paid should use food banks for a while to give medical staffing some breathing room to get things sorted
After the first wave they decided a load of people had been overpaid because all the rotas were changed to deal with covid and they thought some people's pay on the new rota had been calculated incorrectly (turned out they were wrong). The first some people knew of it was when they were contacted by a debt collector that medical staffing had referred them to.
I have honestly never met such an incompetent group of people and it's the same in every hospital.
I had a problem with my rota once and when I went to talk to them about it (because they never answer emails), I was told the person who does that rota is on holiday and nobody else in medical staffing has access to it. Not access to edit it, as in only one person in the department can even view each rota.
It's amazing.
Last edited by randomlegend; 14-05-2021 at 07:57 PM.
My nearest colleague is off work all the fucking time. He's someone who has a lot of life dramas. Relationship break-ups. Mental health problems. Dead or ill relatives. Child with a former partner who gets ill all the time. Forced home moves because the latest woman has chucked him out. If it's a stressful life drama, it happens to him, and happens constantly. He takes time off to deal with these things (he must have already exceeded his 2021 holiday allocation).
By contrast, I am boring, have no life dramas at all, take planned time off only for my own leisure purposes, and therefore am always here to pick up the pieces for him and cover his work when he doesn't turn up with no notice. It's happened again this morning: 'xxx won't be in today as his daughter is ill', so here I am covering for him yet again.
Do I have any right to be aggrieved and mention it to the boss that this is a one-way street? It does my fucking head in. I spent last year covering for his furlough and 'working from home' as well, obvs.
100%. Whether or not your boss will do anything with that information is another thing entirely.
What Manc said pretty much.
It's a piss take, but management often see their underlings as a pool of labour rather than individuals. So unless productivity slips they won't necessarily be arsed that someone is carrying someone else.
Do you like this colleague?
If not there’s a bus to throw him under here should you need it. Tell your line manager or alternatively don’t do his work. if anyone asks you’re busy with your own and “catching up” from covering for them previously.
So in the ‘any questions?’ bit at the end of my interview today I asked how I did in the assessment. Lots of ums and ahs following by ‘er we’ll give every candidate individual feedback once the process has run its cause.’ Clearly messed it up beyond belief (again).
I'm a twit
That could be because they aren't prepared to divulge and discuss that information. You still have hope.
Yeah even if you've done well they probably don't want to say anyway in case you go away with the impression that you've smashed it and then they go with somebody else.
Which sounds like I'm being pessimistic but they'll be doing the same with everybody so fingers crossed.