I'm also a fan of whatever bowler describing a ball to Viv Richards after he'd missed a couple and then Richards thwacking it out of the ground and saying "You know what it looks like, you go and find it."
I'm also a fan of whatever bowler describing a ball to Viv Richards after he'd missed a couple and then Richards thwacking it out of the ground and saying "You know what it looks like, you go and find it."
Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
Captaincy back in QLD.
Warner cant be in the team this time next year if we are going for a changing of the guard.
We (and India, seemingly) have worked out how to bowl at Warner so they need to replace him really. Less so Smith.
Unusually, I could see our attack doing a bit of damage but there's no way our powderpuff batting lineup is going to repel Cummins, Hazlewood et al for five Tests. The other worry is that we fall into the usual selection traps and end up with Jimmy Anderson doing press releases saying 'I feel like I'm twenty-four again', bullying them into picking him for the Gabba and then having to be pushed up to the wicket in the drinks cart in lieu of a run up because his hips don't work anymore.
He is just a flog who should never have been allowed back in the team.
Instead of saying nothing Paine has come out and said this today.
“If you watch Steve Smith play Test cricket that is something he does every single game five or six times a day. He does this a lot.
“He is always in the batting crease batting. As we know he has those many Steve Smith quirks. One of them is that he was always marking centre. He was certainly not changing (Pant’s) guard
https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket...f636173647e4d8
Left handed? Sure.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/55629954
Proven cheat shocked and disappointed at accusations of cheating.
I've no idea whether he was doing anything untoward or not but stow the outrage, mate.
Time to get The Gif out of the locker I think.
Look, the last thing we need is another fucking scandal for him to find redemption against us over.
What about IPL 2021?
Yeah, Jim, what about IPL 2021?
I'm more hyped for Dan Lawrence's Test debut tomorrow, if I'm honest, and the general prospect of maybe getting up at 5am to hear Russel Arnold smarm over England collapsing to three mediocre spinners.
I learned via the BBC that Lawrence's brother is a British wrestler who goes under the name "David Wreckham."
For a company called Lucha Britannia who describe their show as "10000 Volts of Sexy Mayhem", so I literally don't think they could be trying any harder.
I'll be tuning in at 9 or 10 so I assume it'll be nearly be nearly finished and we'll just be getting bowled out for a total of 98.
Naturally I wake up to find Stuart Broad has been donning them senseless.
I think there's a reasonable chance that Sri Lanka's 135 there was worse than India's 36 all out. Probably much worse.
Dom Bess's expected wickets was 0.2, bagged a five-for.
I stick it on to hear Michael Atherton opine it was one of the worst displays of test match batting he's ever seen.
I woke up just there to see the score generally rather good but by the time I turned the telly on the first thing I was a replay of Sibley's wicket and Bairstow grimacing out of his helmet which isn't the start I could have done with.
Oh good, Crawley is gone. For fuck's sake.
Don't worry, Bairstow is about to prove the critics wrong.
The commentators were just saying how the conditions are doing nothing for the bowlers so it sounds all set up for Bairstow to get a plumb LBW, do one of his squash-faced looks of incredulity and then waste a review.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/53352074
I got 64/122 which I'm happy with.
I assume Jimmy will set the score to beat, and I bet he can rattle off shitloads before he even needs the clues.
Some I didn't get:
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EDIT: Also, full disclosure, it gave me three doublers because it will accept just surnames. One of them I'd probably have got, one I'd heard of but wouldn't have got and the other I'd never heard of.
Last edited by Ian; 14-01-2021 at 05:45 PM.
You have no idea of your privilege not having to live through the 2001 Ashes.
Some great clues in there.
'Stylish top-order batsman but failed to convince at Test level.'
On one level it could be almost anyone, and yet we all know exactly who it is.
'Threw a drink over James Anderson on an Ashes tour.'
Erm...
I got 96/122 which is probably good considering the advanced state of dementia I find myself in, but I've just noticed I missed Joe 'Denners' Denly and so I'm off to commit ritual seppuku. Unforgivable.
107 in the end
My biggest miss either Vince or Samit Fatel
I wish I could forget about James Vince.
I might do an occasional series reminiscing the many low points of English cricket.
I'll start with this belting dead rubber Test: https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/...full-scorecard
This was the last game for Atherton (fittingly out to both Warne and McGrath) and Tufnell, reintroduced as the Oval specialist spinner one last time with the splendid results of 1/174. He wasn't the only problem with the bowling attack, though, as it seems this was the period we had somehow decided that Jimmy Ormond (1/115) was a serious Test prospect with the ball. Ormond I seem to remember always wore very baggy cricket jumpers, presumably in an attempt not to reveal his underlying sportsman's frame:
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We were coming off a miraculous win at Headingley to reduce the arrears to 3-1 but that was as good as it got as the bowling really didn't go well at all. The main positive to take from the Australians' innings was that some of them only made fifties as opposed to hundreds, although Langer, Mark and Steve Waugh did all ton in a cool 641/4.
Ramprakash made a gritty 133 coming back (perhaps the high point of his England career) but we still managed to lose by an innings. The game is chiefly remembered (by me, at least) for inexplicable middle order choice Usman Afzaal reaching what would be his only Test fifty and celebrating like this:
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There's something amazing about the flicking wrist motion and smug grin combo captured in that photo, as if he has just completed a double ton that will help his team win an Ashes Test, rather than score a fifty in an innings which will fail to avoid the follow-on as a crushing 4-1 defeat is sealed.
What score did you get, Jimmy? Did you get all of them?
EDIT: Also that celebration in the second picture has the same energy as American football players celebrating a sack with a funky dance when they're 30 points down.
100-odd. I've heard of all of them but would never remember them all at the same time.
I can't be dealing with a half hour quiz FFS.
Sitting there blindly trying to recall Chris Tremlett's name or that giant Irish eedgit. I got bored after about 3 minutes and just started randomly picking names to see if they triggered a correct answer.
I was in the same boat. I was never getting players like Usman Afzaal, Amjad Khan or Ed Giddins despite remembering them from various cricket captain iterations.
I could never forget the Copenhagen Express.
I remember all that era, tend to forget the bit parts from more recent times. Jake Ball. Tom Westley. Liam Dawson.
I couldn't remember James Taylor's name, despite having liked him a lot and being so annoyed by the "too short" nonsense, nor current player Ollie Pope but for some reason Tom Westley came to mind quite early.
I think part of what boned me on the quiz was knowing next to fuck all about county cricket so a lot of the clues didn't help me.
106/122 for me.
I forgot a lot of the recent dross that has opened the batting in the last 5-6 years - Robson, Lyth and Stoneman in particular. Somehow also forgot Ian Ward despite him being the face of seemingly ALL of Sky's cricket coverage.
Funnily enough, Shaun Udal was one of the first names to spring to mind. Strangely vivid memories of him spinning away in Pakistan mere months after our heroic 2005 Ashes victory. We were inevitably beaten and I would have Kamran Akmal's shrill yelp of "BOWLING DANISH!" in my head for weeks, as he screamed it every delivery, no matter the quality.
My main memory of Shaun Udal was that we came up against him in a club game a few years after he retired, a couple of our younger idiot players at the time CALLED HIM OUT on Twitter afterwards, and I had to deal with the subsequent diplomatic fallout. Good times.
I have the Akmal call in my head too but it's the Adnan Akmal one of 'Bowling bowling Saeed bhai' from 2011/12.
Called him out for what?
I can't remember, it was the usual thing where people shit themselves when confronted with anyone who's famous / been on the telly and start giddily tweeting insults at them. This was about 2011 so the more innocent 'u are shit Udal!!!' sort of days of social media.
this is what when i googled that
If I was a cooler dude I'd record a seven minute spoken word piece about Amjad Khan's single Test appearance over the top of that.
Standing.... in his way.....
Standing.... in his way.....
Standing.... in his way....................................... (here comes the drop)
Was Brendan NASH
Banter
it says a lot that when I woke up and checked the score my first reaction wasn't happiness that it was going well but "Man this lot must be shit."
They are pretty shit, although Root has been magnificent in exploiting that shitness.
Now watch this lot compile a decent lead by stumps tomorrow before running through us for about 10 on day 5.
Washington Sundar.
Still feel India will probably need the weather to intervene to avoid defeat.
We should probably wrap this up today now, so Mathews will probably blast one of those inexplicable 150s.
Lyndon Hannibal (what a name!) absolutely desperate not to give that.
perera had about ten minutes to get his foot behind the line, so even if it's marginal he probably deserved to be out for being so careless
Here we go.
Wonder how difficult we can make this.
EDIT: Oh I blinked and missed that we'd already lost a wicket. Ace.
I don't think we will, but it'll be funny if we do.
This sort of thing used to really bother me, but now I think I just enjoy the potential carnage.
I mean we're never going to change so you may as well just go with it.
This attempt at a chase would be redeemed if Bairstow also goes cheaply.
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I could picture him and kept thinking "Alex.... Alex.... no that's not right."
