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Peter Crouch barely looks like a human being, nonetheless a footballer.
This is just going to turn into Giggles and Luca posting female footballers and upsetting Phonics.
I knew who this was going to be inspired by before even opening the thread.
He also doesn’t play like a footballer either.
I posted Luke Shaw, so close enough, really.Originally Posted by Offshore Toon
How did I get lumped in with Giggles in all of this?
Do Matt Le Tissier and Peter Beardsley count? I don't see them as playing professional sport for a living.
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My main conclusion while researching this 5/10 post was how much 99% of footballers really do look exactly like footballers.
Scott McTominay looks like something that isn't a footballer, but I'm not sure what. I get World War II vibes from him - I think he may have been either the victim or perpetrator of a truly terrible atrocity somewhere on the eastern front.
Highlighted quite remarkably when the stereotypical footballer plays on the opposite wing.
Last edited by Baz; 30-12-2020 at 10:16 PM.
I'm a twit
Scott could have played the leading role in Sam Mendes’ 1917.
Targett is a good one. Matt from accounts.
Jim's post.
Disagree here. If anything, Clive, he looks too much like a footballer.
Alisson is dreamy.
Trifon Ivanov.
He's got skin like a meth addict.
It's for Baz to decide who needs to be outed.
Charlie Adam.
Looks more like a bricklayer who gets ripped all day.
He has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of themJim's post.
Without cheating... Allan Cork right?Toggle Spoiler
I enjoy players like John McGinn and Adama Traore who really should be on the rugby field instead.
John McGinn is the personification of "wee guy".
Dario Hubner, ice-cream man in Newport.
Why am I getting tarred with the same brush as Luca?
Poncy food pics.
Dan James should be a TikTok star.
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Nah, that's a classic shit footballer barnet.
No one looks more like a footballer than Jack Grealish.
Grealish’s haircut is up there among the best
He has footballers hair, which is like saying someone dresses like a wrestler.
He was never one of us. That’s too fine a mane and too English a face.
Don't fucking crop the best bit
Zlatan is the most footballesque footballer that ever footballed. Grealish is an Englishman-at-an-Aussie-hostel LAD.
How did a Canadian get this description so spot on?
I'm a twit
Always makes me think of A Bug's Life.
I could reel off a list from the 90s but surely Julian Dicks was the most unlikely, and seemed to a bouncer at every club in the midlands in the noughties.
Aye it isHe has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of them
Without cheating... Allan Cork right?
That lad with the long hair who either played for Man City reserves or their New York outfit who went viral. Can't remember his name so a search was fruitless. He looked like the washboard operator in a skiffle band.
Oh yes. Tommy McNamara
He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:
The great Guy Butters:
Although having seen the above picture.
Tommy McNamara is a dream team player.
Guy Butters might not look like a footballer, but he does look exactly like his name.
He's the son of the bassist of an old metal band, now standing in for his father because he's too old / ill / dead to tour any more.He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:
His body looks weirdly long, I don't like it.
He's like the bastard love child of Legolas and whatever the dwarf is called.
Taz?
If someone told me this was a female Canadian 50m breast stroke bronze medalist, I wouldn’t immediately doubt it.
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I'm a twit
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