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Thread: Mahow's all new, all new, all new food thread

  1. #5501
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2020/08/he...unds-horrible/

    Coffe-flavoured mushroom ketchup and baked bean flavoured bread. No thanks.

  2. #5502
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Holly Brockwell reporting for the Sarcasm Times.

  3. #5503
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I can find you a less bantsy article in which the sandwich still sounds vile, if you'd prefer.

  4. #5504
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    To be honest as soon as I saw that Heston Blumenthal had made a sandwich and was making it available for sale at £3.85, it was going to take something of Dostoyevskian literary values to swing my opinion positively.

  5. #5505
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I don't like either baked beans or coffee, but I can't see either of those things being that bad if I did.

  6. #5506
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'd give it a go but I'd argue anyone having coffee with a fry up instead of tea is a wrong un.

  7. #5507
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    If it wasn't for the coffee flavoured ketchup (fucking ugh) then I'd give it a go.

  8. #5508
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Coffee aside they're all things you would eat in a fry up in basically the same arrangement so it can't be that bad.

  9. #5509
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It's obviously nice. They just shoehorn certain ingredients in there to pique interest.

    I don't know why baked bean bread is supposed to be so terrible? If it was sun-dried tomato bread nobody would care, and I bet they taste similar as they'll be basing the baked bean taste off the sauce.

  10. #5510
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Had a wood-fired pizza that Giggles would have turned his nose at. It was glorious.

  11. #5511
    I used to be funny.
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    Speaking of bread, the previously indestructible cheap loafs from Tesco now mould up after a few days. It wasn't like this before lockdown.

  12. #5512
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Incoming lamb malai

  13. #5513
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The new Turkey Twizzlers aren't up to much. They're not bad, but if I wanted uninteresting and healthy-ish turkey sausages I could have got them anyway.

  14. #5514
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Salmon with chive mash mash potato and a prawn cream sauce. In hindsight I should have reduced the cream a little more and I wish I had done a pea puree instead of using balsamic but fuck it.


  15. #5515
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Salmon with chive mash mash potato and a prawn cream sauce. In hindsight I should have reduced the cream a little more and I wish I had done a pea puree instead of using balsamic but fuck it.

    Food for thought, but instead of the chunks of prawn, could you make an intense prawn oil from the heads/shells and infuse the cream sauce with it?

  16. #5516
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    But then you wouldn't have prawns.

    I'd be all over that, Smiff.

  17. #5517
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I like the look of that.

  18. #5518
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Even though I don't like prawns, I think I'd put up with them for how good the salmon and mash looks.

  19. #5519
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Even though I don't like prawns
    This is the most offensive thing I've ever read.

  20. #5520
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Life is complicated. Sometimes people want you to put rubbery little pink things in your mouth that taste mildly of fish; sometimes they think it's disgusting.

  21. #5521
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I think you're cooking them wrong.

  22. #5522
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    ...

    I'm not taking the bait on that one. Too obvious.

  23. #5523
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    #sheltered

  24. #5524
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Food for thought, but instead of the chunks of prawn, could you make an intense prawn oil from the heads/shells and infuse the cream sauce with it?
    Truth be told it's not something that even crossed my mind but having Google'd it I reckon I could give it a stab next time. I've got complete freedom to do as I choose so if you've got any other suggestions then I'm all eyes.

    I've had a couple of dishes hit the back of the net in the last two weeks or so which has been quite nice.

  25. #5525
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I've been on the yogurt with nuts and seeds bandwagon for a long time, but earlier this week ran out of nuts so decided to throw some of the above in and my word. It originally started as a 'no carbs til teatime' idea but ehh that's out the window now cos these are a now a must-have ingredient to my dinnertime bowl.
    I'm a twit

  26. #5526
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I've taken an awful liking to Krave.

  27. #5527
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Truth be told it's not something that even crossed my mind but having Google'd it I reckon I could give it a stab next time. I've got complete freedom to do as I choose so if you've got any other suggestions then I'm all eyes.

    I've had a couple of dishes hit the back of the net in the last two weeks or so which has been quite nice.
    Something about the two proteins (where one is 'part of the sauce' but also left quite chunky) sat strangely with me, and the prawn oil could be a way of stretching out food cost.

    My other suggestions would be in terms of presentation - I'd go with a well of puree (vs. a lump of it) and then serve the salmon skin-up (with a hard sear on the skin) in the middle, with a thin layer of the cream sauce resting under the salmon in the middle of the well (but not poured over it, so that the seared skin presents nicely). Then I might also lose the green from the sauce and the puree and do a drizzle of chive oil instead - you might get the bright green pop you're looking for, especially if the puree is otherwise unadultered. You could still do fresh chives with the puree instead of an oil, I suppose, but I'd then consider maybe a healthy spoonful over the puree vs. cooked in it.

    As you said, you could probably then lose the balsamic, as it's not adding anything taste-wise.
    Last edited by Luca; 14-09-2020 at 04:42 AM.

  28. #5528
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Shut up, you bunch of melts.

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  29. #5529
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    @SvN is posting foreskin pictures ban worthy?

  30. #5530
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post


    I've been on the yogurt with nuts and seeds bandwagon for a long time, but earlier this week ran out of nuts so decided to throw some of the above in and my word. It originally started as a 'no carbs til teatime' idea but ehh that's out the window now cos these are a now a must-have ingredient to my dinnertime bowl.
    18g of sugar per 100g. Put it down and never speak of it again.

  31. #5531
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The box is nearly gone and won’t be getting replenished.
    I'm a twit

  32. #5532
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Shut up, you bunch of melts.

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    This looks like a delicious Sunday morning hangover cure.

  33. #5533
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Looks like something that has squirted out of road kill.

  34. #5534
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I made risotto with the slow cooker and it was very good. #FBPE#WATON#ABTV

  35. #5535
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Making risotto sounds a bit cosmopolitan for you.

  36. #5536
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    If I want to keep eating rice whilst sticking it to the Chinese then the options are limited.

  37. #5537
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    You could just live off Tilda microwave packs if you're prepared to eschew flavour but without going Full Molton.

  38. #5538
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I could never go back to that bollocks after buying my amazing rice cooker. I went for an Indian the other week to support them in their border dispute and I'm sure they gave me pouch rice.

  39. #5539
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Risotto in a slow/rice cooker sounds like the sort of thing that's going to trigger Luca big time.

  40. #5540
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I had a pizza last night that would have him rocking in corner.

  41. #5541
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Eh. Risotto is tedious to make. It’s not how I’d do it, but I understand the convenience of a slow cooker.

    Go on, Giggles. I feel like suffering.

  42. #5542
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Risotto is shit anyway, so you might as well do it wrong.

  43. #5543
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Wrong.

  44. #5544
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Exactly.

  45. #5545
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The worst food in the world is couscous.
    I'm a twit

  46. #5546
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Maybe worst grain but surely kidney (unless in a pie) or liver is worse?

  47. #5547
    I used to be funny.
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    Kidney's alright but then my dad did bring a fair amount of that home. I've been conditioned.

  48. #5548
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Couscous, like rice or anything else, is contingent on what you put in it. I've had some Moroccan lamb things where it's absolutely glorious.

  49. #5549
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    My father-in-law, who's a bit of a maverick in the kitchen having taken up the duties post retirement, swears by couscous with thai red curry. It's an abomination but he won't listen to reason.

    90% of meals also accompanied with garlic bread which I'm sure must be ruinous from a health perspective.

  50. #5550
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I like cous cous so long as it’s a fairly dry dish.

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