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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #7751
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Oh dear.
    I'm a twit

  2. #7752
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Dickhead

  3. #7753
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    How did you do that? Those lids are pretty solid. Did you refill an empty pot?

  4. #7754
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    How did you do that? Those lids are pretty solid. Did you refill an empty pot?
    Someone had put the pot on a backseat last week and today I had to break suddenly at one point and boom.

    Edit: I did know it was there and should have put back down on the floor. I've had plenty of opportunities, I'm not blaming anyone else.
    Last edited by Sir Andy Mahowry; 25-08-2020 at 06:52 PM.

  5. #7755
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    That does not look like a "little thing" to me. Lol, still.

  6. #7756
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm currently being kept awake by an unseen man, with a very loud voice, somewhere down my road or in an adjoining garden (or coming from a window, but seems too loud for that). He has a London accent and is repeatedly shouting 'Oh, mister! (or 'big stuff', I can't quite tell) interspersed with 'Fucking hello, baby', 'Oh my God', and loud moaning almost in the rhythm of someone shagging, but with only his voice and the phrases so repetitive that it almost sounds like it's on a tape recording.

    My road isn't a thoroughfare at all (you'd only come here if you lived here/were visiting) so it really is awfully puzzling. I presume it's some kind of mentally ill person, but why would they be shouting that so repetitively down here?

    If it's a bumming in the bushes then the second person is awfully quiet.

  7. #7757
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If it's a bumming in the bushes then the second person is awfully quiet.
    Or dead....?

  8. #7758
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Or not human.

  9. #7759
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Hellllooooooo Dollyyy

  10. #7760
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He carried on for a good hour. I heard a few slapping noises too that were too loud for it to be wanking. I'll go with homeless man shagging fresh corpse until I hear otherwise.

  11. #7761
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I finally bit the bullet and got The Athletic and it's not worth it whatsoever. The sports I don't follow closely are mediocre and you can get the same content from the writers Twitter feed and the articles on the stuff I am interested in isn't anything I didn't know having not read the article and just consumed through content aggregators.

  12. #7762
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    As anyone will know, all those twee slow badly sung versions of songs in adverts are fucking horrendous, but that Born to be Wild in the new Volvo ad takes it to new levels.

  13. #7763
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    As anyone will know, all those twee slow badly sung versions of songs in adverts are fucking horrendous, but that Born to be Wild in the new Volvo ad takes it to new levels.
    Hahha yeah 100% to all of this. It feels like an industry injoke to create the most egregious example of it at this point. It doesn't even sound like the same song.

  14. #7764
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I think it was the last World Cup when the BBC did a similarly horrendous job with Thriller but that Volvo one might be the worst so far.

  15. #7765
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    I quite liked the Praise You one.

  16. #7766
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I am a sucker for a good acoustic cover, but the breathy piano ones on adverts are a shambles.

  17. #7767
    I used to be funny.
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    Hearing a slow version of X Gon' Give it to Ya might be the peak.

  18. #7768
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I wondered why I was going through lightbulbs so much but only in one specific room. I was replacing 2 or 3 bulbs like every couple of weeks.

    The tram that runs by my house makes the room vibrate so hard that it’s unscrewing the bulbs a millimetre of a millimetre with each tram. Most of them never blew, just weren’t screwed in...

  19. #7769
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  20. #7770
    I used to be funny.
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    Outstanding.

  21. #7771
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I love that tram.

  22. #7772
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Sounds like that Swiss favela isnt up to standard

  23. #7773
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That is superb.

  24. #7774
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Sounds like that Swiss favela isnt up to standard
    Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.

  25. #7775
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’d say you’ve earned about 1 bedroom of it in your lifetime.

  26. #7776
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I was with you upto 'and a front garden'. Are they a rarity there?

  27. #7777
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  28. #7778
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wait, you replaced the bulbs instead of checking them / screwing them in? C'mon...

  29. #7779
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.
    Don't forget about the moat and drawbridge.

  30. #7780
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    And the sneaker room.

  31. #7781
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    and the room where he keeps all those headphones.

  32. #7782
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    And the basement crack den.

  33. #7783
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Lewis is running the Simpsons based donnings at the moment.

  34. #7784
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.
    You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?

  35. #7785
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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  36. #7786
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?
    Sweatshop to make his custom kicks. Iteeeeeeee

  37. #7787
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I was with you upto 'and a front garden'. Are they a rarity there?
    90% of the housing here is apartments.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Wait, you replaced the bulbs instead of checking them / screwing them in? C'mon...
    Some of them would visibly blow when I turned the lights on because they were just loose enough to turn on and the power surged. Also some of them would 'go' the same day as my cleaner/maid was in so I figured she saw it and didn't mention.

    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?
    It's been sold to be knocked down and turned into apartments. Squatters rights are incredibly strong here so when you sell land to the government to build on the previous landowner gets a stipend to keep rent cheap making sure the buildings not empty. Therefore my rent is about 2/3rds of what I was paying for a 2 bed flat.

  38. #7788
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    90% of the housing here is apartments.


    Is that Swiss efficiency?

  39. #7789
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I remember a stat from when I moved here that had Geneva as the most densely populated city in the world outside of Tokyo in a capita per square meter context. So probably, yes

  40. #7790
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?
    You turned his private mansion into a condemned squat with one question. Have you considered a legal career?

  41. #7791
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    You turned his private mansion into a condemned squat with one question. Have you considered a legal career?

  42. #7792
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Public transport. I found myself stuck down a narrow lane on a three hour bus drive to cover just 30 miles therefore missing my connection as neither could get past the other . Attempted to order new ticket and as luck would have it, not enough funds in bank and nearest one to deposit I couldn't find so today I'm stuck in bloody Padstow waiting for 9am tomorrow morning just so I can continue my journey home. Masks for five mins I find uncomfortable but three bloody hours? I'd rather take my chances.

    Why did I never learn to drive ffs.

  43. #7793
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    How much this time?

  44. #7794
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Only 24 hours but it's more the point of taking three hours to cover 30 miles. I'm tempted to do train but I just envisage hoards of people.

  45. #7795
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm on the committee of my cricket club, my colleagues on which are largely people in their 50s and 60s. Often, but particularly now, there is email communication between us - so for example I might send something out saying 'We need to take this tree down' and the others will respond on the same chain with everyone copied in. Pretty normal practice, everyone is able to chip in if they need to or just read for information if not.

    All except one bloke, our commercial manager. He's mid sixties, a club hero from the 70s and 80s, and he ABSOLUTELY refuses to send an email, a text, or anything written down. He's a very literate and intelligent man, but he will ONLY communicate by phone call. As a result, when I send out an email on whatever topic, a few hours later he always calls me (at work) to discuss. I'll be sat at my desk at 11am and my phone will light up with this tosser ringing up wanting to discuss the email I've sent out about re-slatting the sightscreens, or whatever the hell it is that week. I never pick up, because I can't just stroll out front at the office and start talking about how the 2nd XI got on last weekend (or maybe people did do that in workplaces in the good old days?). When I don't pick up, he then leaves a voicemail asking me to call him back. It's almost always something he could have put in a 2-line email - something like 'I'm in full agreement with you on that,' or 'Let's wait to see what the supplier says'.

    How the fucking hell did that generation survive having to waste half their lives making pointless phone calls? And why can't he send a fucking email like everyone else? It's like it's hard wired into his brain that spoken communication is the only kind, and the idea of quick textual communication would throw his life completely out of kilter.

  46. #7796
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Could you try a WhatsApp group so he can send voice recordings?

  47. #7797
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    No chance he even has whatsapp installed on his phone. I've tried sending him texts before, and he just calls me back again.

  48. #7798
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Don't ring him back.

  49. #7799
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Call him back at ridiculous hours when you're swanning about selling engines to Argentinian farmers or whatever it is you're going to be doing.

  50. #7800
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yep. Do that.

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