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Thread: The little things in life that fuck you off

  1. #7601
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Okay Daws

    (As in rhymes with horse, not with drawers.)
    I'm a twit

  2. #7602
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Dawsonegger is a bit unwieldy is it not?

  3. #7603
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    A few of my colleagues/bosses call me by my surname which can be a bit weird. As long as it's not fucking Drew I'm ok.
    The shittest nickname I've ever come across in real life was for someone with your names, and he went by 'Ands'. The only thing I thought it could be was 'Hands', and maybe he had weird webbed ones or something, but no it was just derived from his first name.

  4. #7604
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Okay Daws

    (As in rhymes with horse, not with drawers.)
    What the fuck is your accent that it can possibly rhyme with either of those?

  5. #7605
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If he doesn't hear 'George Daws what are the scores?' Atleast 3 times a week he should quit.

  6. #7606
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    What the fuck is your accent that it can possibly rhyme with either of those?
    The second one is Mayor Quimby.

  7. #7607
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Daws sit on whores. :/

  8. #7608
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Names like James Jameson and Edward Woodward are the worst type. Clearly, the parents had a bad connection and wanted to do bad on the child.

  9. #7609
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Names like James Jameson and Edward Woodward are the worst type. Clearly, the parents had a bad connection and wanted to do bad on the child.
    Thoughts on Neville Neville?

  10. #7610
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    What the fuck is your accent that it can possibly rhyme with either of those?
    Er, *slowly raises hand*

  11. #7611
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    All three of them seem pretty similar to me.

  12. #7612
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Er, *slowly raises hand*
    You say Dorse or Dawers?

  13. #7613
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Doors, which would rhyme with drawers (as in chest of).

  14. #7614
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Celts pronounce their r's, unlike us decent English folk, so for them dorse would be a right tongue-twister.

  15. #7615
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Can't even speak your own language properly.

  16. #7616
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If you want me to go through the full list of crimes against communication that I suffer daily from my Ulster customers then I will. There's one bloke in Magherafelt who talks like he's been drinking engine oil.

  17. #7617
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Spikey says drawers (as in chest of) as draw-uh-z
    I'm a twit

  18. #7618
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I don't, but there is a very slight difference between drawers and doors (aside from the R).

  19. #7619
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Drawers rhymes with doors in my dialect, easily.

  20. #7620
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Drawers rhymes with draws.
    Neither rhyme with doors.
    I'm a twit

  21. #7621
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    None of these fucking rhyme.

  22. #7622
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I think, in addition to all the accent differences, people just don’t realize when things rhyme

  23. #7623
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Drawers rhymes with draws.
    Neither rhyme with doors.
    Correct.

  24. #7624
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Drawers rhymes with draws.
    Neither rhyme with doors.
    There is a very (very, very, very, very) soft w in drawers that differentiates it from doors, but I would still say it rhymes with doors.

  25. #7625
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    None of these fucking rhyme.
    Everything rhymes in your ridiculous mumble.

  26. #7626
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    You say Dorse or Dawers?
    Dorse.

    (Thread of the year contender this)

  27. #7627
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Nobody really speaks English the way it’s probably supposed to be.

  28. #7628
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I say 'Daws' as written, so like 'paws', which is why I would rhyme it with 'doors' and 'drawers'. I'm pretty sure that's how manc sean said it as well, so since between us we popularised it here it stands.

  29. #7629
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Nobody really speaks English the way it’s probably supposed to be.
    Shakespearean OP was more like a sort of soft west country drawl. Hampshire accents are probably closest. Few vowel differences, like 'sea' until the great vowel shift would have been pronounced 'say'. 'Meat' = 'Mate', etc.

    They would have said the Rs, so the Queen's English is deficient there.

  30. #7630
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    English isn’t meant to be any way

  31. #7631
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Englishes ranked

    1 Posh Scottish
    2 Queen's
    3 East coast American
    4 English provincial
    5 Pleb Scottish
    6 Irish
    7 the bollocks spoken in the US south that includes the word 'Y'all'
    8 Australian
    ....
    198403 International Lingua Franca English

  32. #7632
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Englishes ranked

    1 Posh Scottish
    2 Queen's
    3 East coast American
    4 English provincial
    5 Pleb Scottish
    6 Irish
    7 the bollocks spoken in the US south that includes the word 'Y'all'
    8 Australian
    ....
    198403 International Lingua Franca English
    I hope that's counting up from worst because posh Scottish is the equivalent to having an M8 drill bit rammed into your ear. I'd rather listen to those mans blud cunts in London that think they're somewhere else.

  33. #7633
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    7 is better than 3 and I will fight you over that.

  34. #7634
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Posh scotch (in fact most of the teuchter accents) is/are just the worst.

  35. #7635
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    The viking sounding stuff you get up the north of Scotland is the best. East coast is generally horrific.

  36. #7636
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Fuckin' kens and ehs everywhere.

    I went to Kirkcaldy once and it may as well be a different language.

  37. #7637
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    7 is better than 3 and I will fight you over that.
    1970s New York cab drivers >>>>> the people in 'Justified'

  38. #7638
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    The “Southern Belle” accent is great. The Cletus accent, not so much

  39. #7639
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I loved the accents in Justified.

  40. #7640
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The 'wash myself with a rag on a stick' accent is amazing. I wouldn't want it, obviously, but it's entertaining.

    But sometimes terrifying:


  41. #7641
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Fuckin' kens and ehs everywhere.

    I went to Kirkcaldy once and it may as well be a different language.
    Is that in The Kingdom of Fife™?

    My dad had cousins from there and there was just no understanding them. Didn't help that I think some of them were genuinely mental as well.

  42. #7642
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm going to the Kingdom of Fife this evening

    Takes me ages to understand the FIL (Ayrshire) and no chance with the Dundee folk most of the time.

  43. #7643
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Is that in The Kingdom of Fife™?
    They're fae the Kingdom, eh.

  44. #7644
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Wee Anglish tike hae some baws.

  45. #7645
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Shakespearean OP was more like a sort of soft west country drawl. Hampshire accents are probably closest. Few vowel differences, like 'sea' until the great vowel shift would have been pronounced 'say'. 'Meat' = 'Mate', etc.

    They would have said the Rs, so the Queen's English is deficient there.
    I was having a chat about this the other day - what is the furthest back in time you could go (within England) where you could still expect to speak/read the majority of the language and be understood?

  46. #7646
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think we could somewhat have a clue in the 17th and maybe 16th centuries, but they wouldn't understand us.

    Medieval times we wouldn't have a scoobie. If you read Chaucer and then add in the fact that their concept of pronunciation was miles out from ours, then I don't think we'd have a chance.

    I find this stuff fascinating. The earliest recording of speech is I think Gladstone talking into a tin can and he sounds almost impossibly far-off in history.

  47. #7647
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Scottish 'folk' who write in their accents are cunts.

  48. #7648
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Scottish 'folk' who write in their accents are cunts.
    You've 5 unnecessary words in the middle of that.

  49. #7649
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Is it Irving Welsh that does that? Fucking unreadable.

  50. #7650
    I used to be funny.
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    Newcastle United's twitter account just signed a tweet off with HWTL.

    Howay is one word. Granted, there's not anywhere they can find that out ....



    Oh.

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