Wasps ew. Couple years ago i stepped in a wasp nest while out campi g. Was also freaking I’d go into anaphylactic shock as I had about a dozen stings along my legs but I survived. Had to saw my legs off though, just in case
Wasps ew. Couple years ago i stepped in a wasp nest while out campi g. Was also freaking I’d go into anaphylactic shock as I had about a dozen stings along my legs but I survived. Had to saw my legs off though, just in case
I found out why Wasps are cunts the other day and it’s actually made me like them - from a distance - a bit more. Absolute LADS.
http://www.countryfile.com/blog-post...mer-and-autumnOne of their main jobs is searching for soft bodied invertebrates to feed the developing larvae. Bizarrely, adult wasps cannot digest the food they catch because their gut is so constricted by their thin "wasp waists". Instead the workers chew up the prey and feed it to the larvae. In return the larvae produce a sugar rich spit that the workers can drink.
The colony will go on expanding throughout the summer until the queen decides to produce males and new queens. After these "reproductives" have left the nest, the old queen stops laying. This means the workers no longer have access to larvae. Instead they live on the sugar produced by rotting fruit and tree sap. This can be a problem because fermenting fruit contains alcohol so wasps can become intoxicated and rather irritating.
They are also attracted to the abundance of sweet foods that humans provide. To a starving wasp a jam sandwich or a can of coke is just too tempting to avoid. For this reason, wasps are generally only a nuisance in late summer/autumn.
They’re basically a pissed up group of geezers willing to fight you for your lunch.
Last edited by Spikey M; 01-09-2018 at 06:04 AM.
Explains why it was after my Greggs packet. Also, I think they're quite tame. When I was a kid I thought they were really aggressive but it's more because they move fast and more direct than a bee.
Nah, fuck 'em. They still need to fuck all the way off.
Wasps are worse than spiders for me. I don't start running around all crazy when I see one but I hate to hear them buzzing around my ear. I allow them to fly and land on my arm no problem. It's the sound I have a problem with.
Had about a dozen bees in my house today, can't figure out where the little buggers are coming from.
Saw a swarm last week when I was out in the garden. Never seen (or heard) one of those before. Quite scary.
We had a shitload of them appear a couple of years ago. They tend to have migrated/escaped from nearby beehives and will have holed up in a corner somewhere. If you're lucky there will be a local bee man who will come and remove them.
I don't think it's anything as severe as needing a bee man, I just think these might be dense stragglers from a bigger batch who have wandered off. Hopefully anyway.
Had a similar thing with wasps when we first moved in, and they just seemed to sod off on their own terms after a while.
Did get a bee man round then (said they were queens looking to start a new nest) and he was telling me about how bees can build hives in chimneys, which can then break and drop down releasing a bomb of thousands of bees at the bottom. I'm maybe 1% concerned that's what's afoot here as I can't work out if the dopey fuckers are emanating from the fireplace.
Burn. Down. The. House.
I think I could die a happy man if I saw a bee bomb just one time.
I'm getting bitten to fuck. It's been years since I've been targeted like this. What's the best way to sort the cunts out?
I don’t know, but my shampoo has quinine in it, which should work in a pinch if you get malaria
Flying ants are utter pricks.
The bugs that end up behind your monitor have returned on a mass scale.
I want moths to evolve to a point where they can find their way back through an open window.
Just heard the loudest buzzing I've ever heard and came face to face with a Cockchafer in the kitchen. got it out via the medium of flapping, shouting and swearing.
I didn't want the windows open tonight anyway.
I've just realised I left the kitchen window open. Bet there's a cunting moth got in.
Also, a what?
Originally Posted by Spikey M
Just heard the loudest buzzing I've ever heard and came face to face with a Cockchafer in the kitchen. got it out via the medium of flapping, shouting and swearing.
I didn't want the windows open tonight anyway.
Maybug.
This spawn of satan:
Christ, that’s a hideous looking bastard.
Big fuckers as well. They say they're completely harmless but I'd rather wrestle a Pitbull for a steak than be in the same room as one.
Thankfully those fuckers appear to be quite rare. Had one at my mate's house when we were teenagers. Trapped it in a glass and left it on the window ledge, where it proceeded to bang the side of the glass, making a sound like a pair of nail scissors being struck against it hard.
Evil, evil things.
I've never seen one of those in person but if I ever did I think I'd just sign the house over to it and move.
I had never seen one back home, but one floated through my window in Norwich and I had no idea what it was. I cracked it with a book and it just lolled in my face.
They're not fucking rare enough.
I only went out there because it was so loud. I thought the freezer fan was fucked or something. But no, I switch the light on and it's this cunt headbutting the backdoor.
Top 5 worst experiences of my life.
Have you squashed it yet?
I managed to get the door open and it made it's own way out. Calling me a cuck as it went.
I had one fly into my bedroom once, I must have smacked it out of the air with an empty coke bottle at least 5 times before it was weak enough for me to spray it with deodorant.
If you don't dispose of the body they come back to life, usually with an ungodly buzzing sound in the early hours of the morning.
Legendary little buggers.
They always seem to come out of nowhere as well, like ninjas the size of buses. You could stick a V6 engine in the back of one and take over the world.
I haven't seen a maybug this side of my childhood. I get monster flies coming in from the backyard, though. Luckily, they always tend to get jammed in the blinds and die.
I'm a twit
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?sto...11941945626608
They will inherit the earth.
This page needs to be archived.
I guess you could always make this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockchafer_soup
That's ruined my whole year.
Who was it on here who trapped some big horrid beastie under a glass, sprayed it with some random aerosol (probably deoderant) and then basically watched it die rather try and get it outside?
Was it nickfootie, back when he was a thing?
It was probably Offshore
Half of tth unmanned by a beetle, disgraceful behaviour.
Calling that 'a beetle' is like calling Hitler 'a man'.
Both hands, feet and even palms and soles. There must be a three figure total of bites. Only one or two elsewhere presumably due to hair coverage. Never had anything like it, I assume it was just one fucker too as the gap in my window is not that big but it seems to be that they can taste the alcohol in your system because it always happens after a sesh.
Is it not just 'hives'?
Why is your thumb longer than your little finger you freak?
Last edited by Spikey M; 30-06-2020 at 12:36 PM.
I did think it might be something like that, the fact it's so focussed on my hands and feet with a couple bites on my leg and arm make me think it's insect bites though. Fucking hell, death would be a sweet release in these times.
Edit: I take that back, it seems to have randomly flared up so I think it might well be hives. Haven't cone into contact or eaten anything new, very odd.
Last edited by Don; 30-06-2020 at 01:22 PM.
Arent most people’s?
I'm a twit
Mine are about the same, but that thumb is a freak show
Trigger finger.
Do you take any antihistamines?
If you normally take them and then stop for a bit, you can get horrible hives. Happened to me once and I thought I'd been bitten all over by something.
On the thumb, it's an angle thing, they're similiarly sized (half an inch in it, tops).
No to antihistamines, I have(/had?) no allergies. Maybe it's a reaction to an insect bite. Maybe it's a dodgy batch of bananas I just binned the rest of. Maybe it's Maybelline.
What a melt.
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