Originally Posted by
igor_balis
I haven't been very good, but things have already started to pick up (eyyy), and I hope I've already reached my nadir.
My cocaine use had been pretty dysfunctional and fiendish for a while, but the last six months or so it's gotten really bad. Not looking for sympathy, as I'm aware it's self-inflicted. Finally realised I needed to sort my fucking life out, and reached out to my mate who is a recovered alcoholic, woman of 28 who was diagnosed with pancreatitis and told by her doctor she'd be dead in a year if she kept drinking like she was, and she still really struggled. Through her AA connections, she put me in touch with this lad who's active with CAA, and I'm now doing zoom meetings and on #1 of the 12 steps. Aforementioned lad is now also my sponsor.
This is my 12th day clean and sober, and I feel very positive and hopeful for the future and shit, though obviously wish I'd been capable of doing something meaningful about it before it got to this stage, but better late than never, ey?
The PROGRAM is fucking intense though, thank fuck it's the middle of a pandemic and I'm in a strange city with barely any mates, else I'd have no time for all of it with my notoriously packed social calendar.
In the first step (which can take ages), I'm supposed to attend THREE one hour meetings a week, and talk to my sponsor plus 3 other randoms from the "fellowship" every fucking night. I suspect all this stuff serves a secondary purpose of simply leaving you without enough time or energy to do fucking drugs. I'm not objecting per se, and absolutely accept it as a sort of penance for how much of a stupid thick twat I've been, but it is a bit intense.