Don.Originally Posted by Boydy
Don.
In an attempt to cheer people up....
Welcome to the 2020 Dp1MP Corona Cup. A 32 nation knockout competition pitting number of deaths per 1m Pop (Dp1MP) against number of deaths per 1m Pop.
The top 4 nations (by cases) have been kept apart, all other teams were randomly drawn using Excel random number generator. Each tie will be played over 2 legs (2 days), with the winners determined by the commutative Dp1MP for that nation. This competition will run along the existing Corona Premier League and Championship.
Of course, the European dominate the betting, with Italy and Spain big, big favourites. However, USA and some smaller nations will be looking to make some late runs.
Anybody have any suggestions as to how to improve / make more entertaining before we start?
If anybody has any family members negatively affected by Coronavirus - I apologise - this is just for fun.
Here's a fucking suggestion, centre-align the countries in the boxes, you fucking mug.
Sick fuck.
I know, I know - I'll align the text centrally. My bad.
Top work.
As for that 'real talk' message. Yeah, ok mate. Leave the bags for 15 minutes . . .
Bit much, this.
Should be a solid chance for us after our bronze in the Throat Cancer Classic last November.
Taz should have known better. Ian gave JA a bit of attention on Vietnamese football and he hasn't stopped since. The potential for 'tick' nurses to take an interest in his doings was always going to be too much for him.
Or, you know, I'm bored.
I'm bored of this now, thought we'd be looking at 3k deaths per day and it's just fluttering around 200 like an annoying midgie.
Can we place bets? uSA to win it all
No Mexico? Shambles.
Bottom right part of the bracket seems a bit "free for all" with China and their questionable numbers being the seeded nation. France should easily make it to the semis and by the 7th/8th of April I reckon we'll be getting more deaths on a daily basis than Italy so a final appearance is not out of the question.
USA could be walking away with the cup, but Spain's recent form is not to be scoffed at.
China's got no hope now they're under control-ish.
They're basically England under Capello.
Lolling my tits off at this, but mainly Niko's bags post.
Also, if we go into lockdown I'll still be going for my daily runs. Fancy myself to outrun the coppers. I'd lose my job with a criminal conviction but you could probs just talk your way to a minor warning/fine upon getting caught the first time, I imagine.
Is it even legal to trap us in our houses? Fucking those political hippies were too busy fighting for women who wanted to be men who then regretted having dicks stapled on them and are now wanting to blame the surgeon to realise the small print said we could be banned from walking this planet by some cunts in suits because some flu is going around.
You know when you have fond memories of a film, then you watch it again as an adult and find yourself wondering if it was always a bit shit? Yeah.
If you give that last sentence a rework you might be able to find a coherent thought in there, Taz.
Nah, it's there, I ain't fucking here to spoonfeed you.
Well it seems to boil down to you having a pout because you're being asked to stay indoors but in the frothing-at-the-mouth manner of a 50 year old who blames everything on SNOWFLAKES.
He's arse deep in his 30's still living with his parents. He's a lost cause.
Just to avoid confusion, my above post, could be rewritten as:
"I enjoyed Niko's bags post.
I'm not sure how I feel about an impending lockdown.
I also need to read up on the human rights implications of these lockdowns, they could be interesting."
Don't make me deconstruct this shit for your soulless, pathetic, incompetent lives ever again, you hear me?
What the fuck is this, you utter freakshow?I know you're being deprived of being able to share your incomprehensible and dull af work tales in this climate but we've all.got struggles, don't just lash out at mans with innacurate aspersions, you asperging asshole.
I'm going round my parents for dinner tonight actually though, first meaningful human contact in 2 weeks, might shag my mum
You have to love insurance companies, they just take the absolute piss. Would the world be worse off if they didn't exist?
#BeKinder
Wouldn't the logical conclusion of this line of thinking be that football could never start-up again, or exist in a world where it is possible to die from seemingly trivial things, like our good old mate the flu?
Aren't you an all but confirmed Coronacase? Doubt it'll do your mood much good to kill off your mum and dad.Just to avoid confusion, my above post, could be rewritten as:
"I enjoyed Niko's bags post.
I'm not sure how I feel about an impending lockdown.
I also need to read up on the human rights implications of these lockdowns, they could be interesting."
Don't make me deconstruct this shit for your soulless, pathetic, incompetent lives ever again, you hear me?
What the fuck is this, you utter freakshow?
I'm going round my parents for dinner tonight actually though, first meaningful human contact in 2 weeks, might shag my mum
It's been four weeks though so I'm just going off the hope we're past that stage. Mum was exposed to me a few times in first 2 weeks too so just going to go for it, our mental health requirements need it.
The long read is exceptional today:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...navirus-crisis
Stay strong, Taz. You sound like you're struggling over there, son.
Toby 'Toby Young' Young has written a decent case for letting the oldies (and seemingly himself) cop it, and I'm well on board.
393 today. We're all over the place. Shit or get off the pot.
The cost per lives shite can do one with those fag packet calculations but yep
Aren't they fiddling the figures again in some way or another at the moment - with the ONS taking over duties?
Not a clue. It's looking like 'two weeks behind Italy' was about right, though. Eek.
Ooft.
Lady in my office has hit us with the 3rd edition of "guys i'm pretty sure i have it" and has described entire body aches, sniffles, etc. etc.
No, she's not gonna go home, silly mongoose! She's just gonna see if she can tough it out.
I said I mean you could always just take a day you know just say you have stomach pain so you can see if the symptoms persist or whatever.
Looked at me like I was mental.
ALSO, entire facility has gone to "wear your masks basically all the time" so... that's fun.
Don't you work in, or at the very least adjoining a hospital? Seems like sound advice.
In one, yes sir.
Well, prior to today we were told we weren't allowed to have them basically (mind you I'm not clinical staff) but they took them all off the walls where they had them etc.
Now they're going to assign us a new mask every morning and then recycle the old one somehow :/
Could they not just wash them? Assuming it's the usual surgical mask and not the filtered type.
Spoke to the woman who runs the hotel we’ve booked in Corfu in June and she’s confirmed the inevitable. Fuck’s sake.
393 is a real talk level of numbers.
We’re about to find out how well our strategy in the first instance has worked.
I’ve got three big sticks from today’s walk. Operation Scarecrow has begun.
I'm a twit
About 50% of the company workforce has been culled to furlough today, including all my closest colleagues. A bleak, bleak day.
That is all.
Why is working from home more stressful. I normally work 7-8 hours at most and I’ll have done 23/24 by time I’m finished today since 7.30am yesterday.
Also, how are folk coping who don’t live with their missus? Going on a bender for 2 days when the pubs went on lockdown instead of getting my hole wasn’t the best of ideas.
Who is Don?
Al0n
Taz.
He got lolled off the board for the name change when we moved here and only just returned.
What the fuck. Fucking Taz?
Thats awesome.
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