And maximum lubrication.
And maximum lubrication.
You'd know all about taking cock given your history, eh.Originally Posted by Mellberg
I'll mentally prepare, somehow. I'm actually hoping I see the screen as although the endoscopy was horrible, the screen was right beside me so watching it was quite fascinating until I kept forgetting to breath in through nose then started gagging like a bitch.
Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.
I think I've just discovered my new job, @John.
Been in hospital since Saturday with a suspected stroke and 'profound' anaemia. They reckon I've got some as yet undiscovered internal slow puncture that's produced the anaemia, because if my red cell count had gone as low as it is quickly it would have floored me.
Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?
Family history definitely played a part in how quickly things moved initially but I reckon I'd have been admitted on symptoms alone.
It's largely just tests for the moment, two MRIs today with a camera down my throat to look for the bleed, a CT Angio, and another two tests I couldn't name to come later in the week. I had a CT when I first came in too, and a two bag blood transfusion overnight the first night.
Fuck me. Hopefully they can find out what it is and sort you out quickly.
Jesus.
Get well soon.
We should set up some sort of bot to call phonics a wanker in case he doesn't.
Yeah John, hope you’re on the mend soon
Get well soon buddy.
Frig. Best of luck, John.
Jesus, only see this now. Hope they’re getting you sorted John.
Lumbar puncture to come now too. Fun.
What's one of those? Do I want to know?
Is it a big ol' injection into the back?
Otherwise known as a spinal tap.
Needle between the vertebrae into the fluid around the spinal cord to take a sample.
RIP John. What size are them orange trainers?
I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.
If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.
Were you not sedated at all? Or just not fully put to sleep?
Forgot to wipe?
I'm a twit
Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.
I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.
Please. I've done so much wiping that my ass was redder than your avatar. I simply drank the movacol stuff a day too soon but it was an easy mix up given how it's written on the letter it come with. Perhaps the best thing about the last two weeks is I've had some glorious liquidised shit. I don't think I've ever watched a full documentary whilst sat on the loo before now.Forgot to wipe?
Always get the sedation man....you don't even remember it.
Sorry to hear about your situation, John. Hope it all works out.
A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.
Good luck John.
Stay positive, he's probably just going to rape you.
What’s the situation now John? Any further news or progress?
They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.
They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.
Glad to hear that, man. Sounds like a decent outcome overall.
Sounds shit but it could have been a hell of a lot shitter so I'm sure you'll take it. Getting away without a Lumbar puncture, which sounds like actual hell, is a result as well.
How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?
Glad it wasn't worse, John.
Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.
Fingers crossed, then. Better news than it sounded like it might be.
Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.
Glad you're not dead yet John.
Hopefully there's a different charge nurse in the camera tube bit when I go back, because the one on yesterday was no fun at all. There seemed to be different suites you were taken to depending on which end the tube was going in, but they shared a waiting room. I was talking the woman beside me in the waiting room. When she told me she was waiting for a colonoscopy I dropped the incredibly lame, small talk joke 'well I hope I get to use the tube before you do.'
She fucking panicked and went straight to the nurse's station to make sure they had more than one tube in use, and the severe little nurse came over to assure me that colonoscopies were no laughing matter. All very funny, but I'd rather not see her again.
Nice one. Must be a big relief.
lmao at the tube joke.
I think I like this new fun John. In other news, the suspected Coronavirus case in the office got the all clear.
Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered that so he proved it using himself as the labrat; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.
I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.
Last edited by randomlegend; 15-02-2020 at 09:11 AM.
Surprisingly it makes little difference apparently.
What a guy.
Get well soon John. Although it still doesn't sound particularly pleasant, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as originally feared.
Glad to hear it's (relatively) good news.
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