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Thread: Health and sickness. A place to moan.

  1. #951
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    And maximum lubrication.

  2. #952
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellberg View Post
    I shouldn't worry too much. It's probably no bigger than the cock you take on the regs.
    You'd know all about taking cock given your history, eh.

  3. #953
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Just tell them you're really worried about it and ask for maximum sedation. You won't even remember it.
    I'll mentally prepare, somehow. I'm actually hoping I see the screen as although the endoscopy was horrible, the screen was right beside me so watching it was quite fascinating until I kept forgetting to breath in through nose then started gagging like a bitch.

  4. #954
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.

  5. #955
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I think I've just discovered my new job, @John.

  6. #956
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Having your gag reflex triggered and having your anal cherry popped in the same week. Christ.

  7. #957
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Been in hospital since Saturday with a suspected stroke and 'profound' anaemia. They reckon I've got some as yet undiscovered internal slow puncture that's produced the anaemia, because if my red cell count had gone as low as it is quickly it would have floored me.

  8. #958
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?

  9. #959
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Christ. Wishing you well John. Without meaning to be too invasive, is this linked to your parents condition? What are they doing for you?
    Family history definitely played a part in how quickly things moved initially but I reckon I'd have been admitted on symptoms alone.

    It's largely just tests for the moment, two MRIs today with a camera down my throat to look for the bleed, a CT Angio, and another two tests I couldn't name to come later in the week. I had a CT when I first came in too, and a two bag blood transfusion overnight the first night.

  10. #960
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fuck me. Hopefully they can find out what it is and sort you out quickly.

  11. #961
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Jesus.

    Get well soon.

  12. #962
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We should set up some sort of bot to call phonics a wanker in case he doesn't.

  13. #963
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Yeah John, hope you’re on the mend soon

  14. #964
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    Get well soon buddy.

  15. #965
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    Frig. Best of luck, John.

  16. #966
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Jesus, only see this now. Hope they’re getting you sorted John.

  17. #967
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Lumbar puncture to come now too. Fun.

  18. #968
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What's one of those? Do I want to know?

    Is it a big ol' injection into the back?

  19. #969
    I used to be funny.
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    Otherwise known as a spinal tap.

  20. #970
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    What's one of those? Do I want to know?

    Is it a big ol' injection into the back?
    Needle between the vertebrae into the fluid around the spinal cord to take a sample.

  21. #971
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    RIP John. What size are them orange trainers?

  22. #972
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.

    If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.

  23. #973
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I'm still waiting for results on my colonoscopy which may I add was every bit as grim as expected. Some polyps were removed and I think that's what I'm waiting to hear to see if they are anything to worry about and then go from there. I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly so I should know in the next 2/3 weeks apparently. Hemorrhoids was also noted but that could have been from straining or something. I then walked out with my tail between my legs feeling violated yet slightly optimistic that it's all coming to an end.

    If I have to have another one then I think I'm going to get sedated as it was all a bit too much.
    Were you not sedated at all? Or just not fully put to sleep?

  24. #974
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I initially had the appointment on the 3rd but silly me fucked up the prep side of things and so I had to return on Monday having done it correctly
    Forgot to wipe?
    I'm a twit

  25. #975
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Were you not sedated at all? Or just not fully put to sleep?
    Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.

    I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.

  26. #976
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Forgot to wipe?
    Please. I've done so much wiping that my ass was redder than your avatar. I simply drank the movacol stuff a day too soon but it was an easy mix up given how it's written on the letter it come with. Perhaps the best thing about the last two weeks is I've had some glorious liquidised shit. I don't think I've ever watched a full documentary whilst sat on the loo before now.

  27. #977
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Not at all. You were given the option on the form prior to it but it would have meant having to stay longer whilst it wore off and tbh, I would much rather have got the hell out of there. I don't know if they injected my ass or whatever as the worst part was feeling it go in and then more uncomfortable than anything as it worked its way in and around. After it finished and a little chat with the chap I was able to go home maybe 20 minutes later, not before I used the loo and let rip with the longest fart I think I've ever had.

    I would say the endoscopy is far worse if I'm honest.
    Always get the sedation man....you don't even remember it.

  28. #978
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your situation, John. Hope it all works out.

  29. #979
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.

  30. #980
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Good luck John.

  31. #981
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    A male nurse from Doctor Congo started a rotation on my ward today. He introduced himself thus; 'I'm Zeus, but you can call me Sambo'. It took everything I had not to collapse into laughter on the spot, but he's since spent all day telling me not to be a Casanova because 'de woman, dey know' so I'm entertaining a five percent possibility I'm just far more ill than I realised.
    Stay positive, he's probably just going to rape you.

  32. #982
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    What’s the situation now John? Any further news or progress?

  33. #983
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.

    They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.

  34. #984
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Glad to hear that, man. Sounds like a decent outcome overall.

  35. #985
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sounds shit but it could have been a hell of a lot shitter so I'm sure you'll take it. Getting away without a Lumbar puncture, which sounds like actual hell, is a result as well.

  36. #986
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?

  37. #987
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    Glad it wasn't worse, John.

  38. #988
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    How does an ulcer get dealt with? Is it a thing that you just have once it's there or can it be treated so it's properly gone?
    Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.

  39. #989
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Fingers crossed, then. Better news than it sounded like it might be.

  40. #990
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.

    Glad you're not dead yet John.

  41. #991
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Hopefully there's a different charge nurse in the camera tube bit when I go back, because the one on yesterday was no fun at all. There seemed to be different suites you were taken to depending on which end the tube was going in, but they shared a waiting room. I was talking the woman beside me in the waiting room. When she told me she was waiting for a colonoscopy I dropped the incredibly lame, small talk joke 'well I hope I get to use the tube before you do.'

    She fucking panicked and went straight to the nurse's station to make sure they had more than one tube in use, and the severe little nurse came over to assure me that colonoscopies were no laughing matter. All very funny, but I'd rather not see her again.

  42. #992
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  43. #993
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  44. #994
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    They've found three ulcers, one of which they reckon has been there for around six years, which have all been bleeding and have between them caused the anaemia. My MRI and CT Angio were both clear, so they're putting the strokey symptoms down to a migraine presenting abnormally for now and will revisit that if it happens again. Lumbar puncture is shelved.

    They want to do a couple more blood tests, but it's looking like I'll get out this afternoon.
    Nice one. Must be a big relief.

  45. #995
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    lmao at the tube joke.

  46. #996
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    I think I like this new fun John. In other news, the suspected Coronavirus case in the office got the all clear.

  47. #997
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Seems like antibiotics are the way to go. I'm in the discharge lounge now waiting for two boxes of those to appear. I've to come back as an outpatient for another camera down my neck in six weeks to see how they're getting on, and presumably they'll try something else at that point if they aren't working.
    Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered that so he proved it using himself as the labrat; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.

    I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.
    Last edited by randomlegend; 15-02-2020 at 09:11 AM.

  48. #998
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Presumably there are dietary things you can do to help, or at least not make them worse. Assuming they're stomach ulcers of course.

    Glad you're not dead yet John.
    Surprisingly it makes little difference apparently.

  49. #999
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Stomach ulcers are mostly caused by a bacteria called h. pylori. Nobody believed the guy who discovered them so he proved it using himself as the latest; had an endoscopy showing no ulcers, drank the bacteria, had a follow-up showing ulcers, cured himself with antibiotics, final follow-up showing resolution of ulcers. H. Pylori eradication is I think an anti-biotic (maybe two) and a PPI (omeprazolr, lansoprazole, etc) to reduce stomach acid.

    I'm glad it's turned out to be something very treatable.
    What a guy.

    Get well soon John. Although it still doesn't sound particularly pleasant, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as originally feared.

  50. #1000
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Glad to hear it's (relatively) good news.

    Also at the tube joke.

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