Apprentice 2019: Can blind people be just as smug?

[Ian]

The Apprentice 2019

Episode 1 air date: Wednesday 2nd of October

Hosts: Sugar & Co, and Tom Allen on You're Fired.

The Dickheads: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/pro...the-candidates


Top Quotes:

I’ve definitely got the gift of the gab, I can persuade anyone to do anything.

Soon to be seen getting nobody to do anything without a row.

A self-proclaimed “maverick” who doesn’t like to follow the rules

Read: Cunt.

I came from a council estate… I have made myself into something good and I’m on my way to becoming something great.

Will be chippy to anybody who disagrees with her and who can also enunciate because they're POSH and LOOKING DOWN ON [HER]!

I love business more than sharks love blood…I’m ruthless in my pursuit of success.

Grossly misunderstanding the emotional capabilities of sharks.

I bring ‘class’ to everything and ensure nothing I do is half-standard or tacky.

Will have a massive blazing row with the council estate one at some point.

I am the epitome of luxury.

Yes, that's a double-barrelled first name. Fuck off, idiot.

Task 1 - "Lord Sugar kicks off the new series with a task like no other. Sixteen candidates are sent to South Africa to set up wine and safari tours."

That first task should be a belter.

Also looking forward to Sugar repeatedly putting his foot in it with the blind guy.

[wullie]

Ryan-Mark stands out early on as the obvious one to watch, but I'm keeping an eye on Thomas Skinner and "I don’t plan - I just do everything on impulse. When I plan, I always get it wrong"

[Ian]

https://ryanmarkparsons.co.uk/

Look at the nick of that.

[Pepe]

[SvN]

The quote on his home page actually made me laugh out loud.

'…you spoke very naturally.'

— HRH Prince William, Duke of Cambridge

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That quote is amazing.

[Spikey M]

[Spikey M]

Is that massive? I hope that's massive.

[Clunge]

“The Luxury Connoisseur lives for opulence, embraces hedonism and is a ferocious entrepreneur.”

Dying.

[Ian]

This is tonight, chums.

They're not doing episodes on two days back to back to kick off the series this year though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently the winner has been leaked.

[Ian]

I'm sure that's happened before but I don't frequent the outlets that are liable to leak it and I'm not on the social media.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think it's happened before but never before the series has started airing.

[Ian]

Here we go

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lottie

[Ian]

As if anybody knows their names at this point Mahow, you creep.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Next you're going to be saying I shouldn't have already seen bikini pictures of her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I know the population of South Africa!

Take that bitches.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She was wrong btw, it's 58m. Sack her.

[Ian]

I despise them all already. Love this show

[Browning]

"We can't promise anything...."

Yea, they totally are going to promise everyone that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Guaranteed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apprentice lunch included is always gold.

"here's some cheese and crackers, good luck"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Wine snobs are the fucking worst.

Kill her with fire.

[thommo]

So the girls are selling a tour worth 250 rand per person for 2500 rand per person?! These poor fuckers are going to spend over £100 for a few mouthfuls of wine.

[Browning]

Fuck me, they're both going to be a shambles.

Lottie seems like a total cunt. Good choice, Mahow.

600 Rand down from 2300? That's not going to cause a war when the group talk to each other.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck me, they're both going to be a shambles.

Lottie seems like a total cunt. Good choice, Mahow.

600 Rand down from 2300? That's not going to cause a war when the group talk to each other.

No chance, no one talks to each other on these...

[Browning]

They're both so cringe is completely opposite ways.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

These facts are stunning. You can feel the energy being sucked out of the bus.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Luxury.

[thommo]

The two bus journeys were fucking hilarious.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ahahhaahahhaaha.

Here are some facts about the wine cellar that we have no idea where it is.

[Browning]

How the fuck did they get 22.5% out of that?

You can bring 12 whole people into the shop? Fuck off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How the fuck did they get 22.5% out of that?

You can bring 12 whole people into the shop? Fuck off.

I liked her when she was staying at 5 and then she just crumbled.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Paint your fucking rock quick sharp and fuck off into the shop. /cockneywanker.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lottie really is a twat.

[randomlegend]

Wine snobs are the fucking worst.

Kill her with fire.

In a restaurant a while ago we heard a couple tell the sommelier they were "in fact very educated in Chardonnay".

[Ian]

Not sure you're the go to on consumables snobbery, RL..

The daggers being eyed between the girls on the refunds comment was amazing

[Browning]

£5 from the shop.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Him celebrating that they had no refunds and then being told they lost was amazing.

[randomlegend]

Not sure you're the go to on consumables snobbery, RL..

The daggers being eyed between the girls on the refunds comment was amazing

The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lottie.

[Ian]

The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

Maybe the only thing she's a snob about is wine..

I mean it's not because she's on the Apprentice and a cunt t but y'know

[Ian]

Fucking Matt Edmondson. He's as funny as a burst bollock.

[randomlegend]

Maybe the only thing she's a snob about is wine..

I mean it's not because she's on the Apprentice and a cunt t but y'know

Well the difference is I'd never announce to a restaurant that "I'm educated on the Madagascan varieties".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking Matt Edmondson. He's as funny as a burst bollock.

The interview thing he always does is fucking horrific.

Also, I don't know why they're making a big deal regarding whole 25/22.5% gift shop deal. They'd have made what, another 50p had they gotten the 25%?

If they'd have lost because of it sure it's huge but their sales were so shit it didn't matter.

[Browning]

I thought Tom Allen was a bit shit as a host. Maybe he'll grow into it as the series moves on, but every time someone else spoke, the transition was very awkward.

"Yes... *awkward pause*.... very true..... *awkward pause*...."

[wullie]

I like cockney Jack Swagger, he seems partially aware of his own uselessness.

[Ian]

Well the difference is I'd never announce to a restaurant that "I'm educated on the Madagascan varieties".

I think you should, let them know they don't appreciate chocolate properly.

I thought Tom Allen was a bit shit as a host. Maybe he'll grow into it as the series moves on, but every time someone else spoke, the transition was very awkward.

"Yes... *awkward pause*.... very true..... *awkward pause*...."

Yeah, I generally quite like him but I thought that too. I dunno if I've actually seen him as the host on anything before.

[Spikey M]

The only thing I'm actually a snob about is chocolate.

Knives.