The guy that runs our local shop has been asking me how my little boy is since before I had children. He's either mistaken me for someone else or he's asking about my cock. Either way, the answer has been 'fine thanks' for about 6 years now.
The guy that runs our local shop has been asking me how my little boy is since before I had children. He's either mistaken me for someone else or he's asking about my cock. Either way, the answer has been 'fine thanks' for about 6 years now.
Last edited by Spikey M; 28-08-2019 at 07:12 AM.
I love chatty male shopkeepers and service people. They usually got banter.
Small talk is great.
When did Football365 become so shit? Nowadays seems to be exclusively a Premier League only website, and most of that content is crappy gossip and top 10's.
Did it not use to be half-decent, or am I remembering with rose tinted glasses?
It's been shit for so many years that you have to wonder whether it was ever not. I read the letters, and sometimes the sixteen conclusions, but the rest of it is just crap features and then clickbait shit that they call other outlets out for doing.
When they got sold by Sky about 4 years ago. Went from a team to 3 people. Now it's absolute dog shit and their social media has got really bad. Constantly writing headlines like 'Club X is absolutely dog shit' and then getting chippy when fans of those clubs get annoyed at them.Originally Posted by John Arne
F365 mailbox used to be a daily read for me
Also ya I hate small talk so I think you guys must have it right, then. The way i had it pictured was more
"How's it going"
"Go fuck yourself you cheery prick"
Nah you just think the second one.
Man we're gonna get a fucking hurricane, fellas.
Somewhere a missile silo is opening.
Our champion spirit is here to stay. Also, I found out today I haven't the first idea how to stop a woman from crying whenever I'm working the phones. I'd be shit with the Samaritans.
'I see you are still having no luck catching me...'
The way they're talking about this shit turning into a Category 3 I fuckin welcome the nukes at this point tbqh.
Turns out women with anxiety get triggered by the phrases, "It's nothing to worry about" and "Enjoy the rest of your day."
Just tell them to straighten themselves out to fuck and hang up.
Live stream it plz
If the wifi stays up i got you lol
@Shindig what do you do on the phones my boy
This one's called like Doryan or something. Imagine dying to a tornado that sounds like it got bullied in Primary school.
DUDE I had that exact fucking thought. If I die because of a fucking hurricane called DORIAN i'm gonna be soooo pissed.
Ring claimants up to see if they want to take something at short notice. Most of the people I ring are alright with it but the main problem is 95% of them claim anxiety and depression and you can't tell which ones are chronic until you're in that conversation.
you're gonna get owned by a hurricane called dorian in the shape of a cock and balls. grats.
Bruh, you are in south Florida now right? In laws are in Palm Beach but we are in Jax.
People panic buying all the water already but no one I know really giving a shit yet.
I panic bought a bag of pistachios last night.
ya here in Palm Beach.. gotta say on Saturday when all the models had it coming right at us i was like welp this is gonna suck lmao
luckily supposdly supposed to start moving north soon. stationary at the moment but should miss us all
My grandmother (in-law) passed away last night. Vietnamese customs really are, well interesting. When my girlfriend and I arrived at the house where she lives, paramedics were still trying to resuscitate her, but it was clear she wasn't pulling through (she was 84, and I suspect had a heart attack). After 15 or 20 mins of further resuscitation (with neighbours watching, talking, laughing amongst themselves), the cops turned up and called it, and immediately signed a death certificate citing natural causes. Off the paramedics went, off the cops went.
So, there we were, my girlfriend, me, 3 other family members, and grandma lying on the living room floor. Cue house tidying, putting some socks on grandma, and wrapping her tightly in a blanket. We called a small transit van and we all headed to the family home in the countryside (with her body in tow). Upon arrival, a bed was moved into the front living area, and she was placed there to rest for 8hrs. After that, finally moved to a coffin, were she will remain for 48 further hours, before being buried in the back garden.
Oh, and during the funeral, the immediate family all wear some natty white KKK overalls.
Last edited by John Arne; 11-09-2019 at 01:15 PM.
I gotta say that's pretty intense. I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma though.
It's a bit shit for your girlfriend at the start of the school year.
Yeah it was. Without being too morbid and heartless, I lost my dad last month - so this was kinda insignificant to me.
She finished high school a couple of years' ago, so, jokes on you.
Targeted Advertising.
When will people realise that it's not targeted at all and just spraying shit at the wall?
In the past few days my promoted tweets have been Scientology, The El Paso Times and Turkish Propaganda saying that they're being invaded by Armenia.
Meanwhile on Facebook, I get constant advertisements for the following three products from Wish, a company that doesn't operate in Switzerland.
1) My relationship status is set to Single so 1 and 3 would be weird purchases
2) The purchase of 2 would be proof that 1+3 would be weird purchases
Nah sometimes that shit is waaaaaaay too specific. Maybe it's different here but I'm convinced they've literally given suggestions based on conversations I've had out loud.
I feel like if I started talking about how bad I wanted a cinnamon pretzel I'd start getting advertisements from Auntie Anne's Pretzels.
You live in the country where the sales teams are and a large market though so I can imagine it's more filtered.
I live in a country where podcasts say 'We'll return after this ad break' and there's no ad and it just carries on.
I've had two of those exact same Wish products advertised to me too this past week. They must really be sinking their whole budget into FB advertising. I don't think I've ever even been on their website.
Why they think Goth Black Leather Leggings is the best thing to show prospective customers I don't know
I already bought a pair thanks to phonics.
Yeah I always get Wish adverts too. Never for kinky trousers though.
I can't even grow facial hair so this one's just mean.
If lack of facial hair is all that's putting you off perhaps they're onto something.
I work with a Samoan girl and she gave me the run down of her cultures mourning process and I got to say a 45 minute service plus a trip to the cemetary is my limit.
She said they have a month long service for everyone to pay respects with the coffin open for the 1st 4 days unless the body goes off. I would start to get rather annoyed being around other peoples various states of grieving after a couple of days.
@phonics. If those mannequins want to get a threesome going. I'm available. They took fire from the back.
Yeah, add friction burns to your issues, Sincere. That'll soothe the pain.
No idea what they're even trying to sell me now because this definitely isn't a swimsuit
Bondage gear and now asian sexdolls?
No idea where that could be coming from . . .
How much are the dolls? For research purposes of course.
Phonics 'there's no such thing as targeted marketing' platform is dying on its arse. The kinky cunt.
Wouldnt even pull out
At the moment I mainly get sponsored adds for baldness. Wont be too long untill the bots double down and suggest lifts because Im also a short cunt.
Should just get your knees done.
I tuned into Strictly Come Dancing as I was stupidly bored and perfectly caught the moment David James walked out to Three Lions.
https://twitter.com/odeacon16/status...927771136?s=09
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