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Thread: The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

  1. #5251
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I was thinking last night while reading this thread that I still really have no interest in having a kid. Then last night I had a dream that I was pregnant, and my child came out in my poo and died.

  2. #5252
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Congrats mate. How old is the older one?

    We have a 3 and a half year old and an 8 month old. The early days were pretty tough as we struggled to get on top of babies reflux / cows milk allergy and our 3 year old was playing up out of jealousy, but aside from that it's been pretty easy in all honesty.

    The Gods are going to make me pay for saying that.
    Thanks buddy. He’s 5. The jealousy bit is starting now a bit. I reckon if they are closer in age, its harder when they are small but gets exponentially easier when they get bigger, whereas our formula (big age gap) means somewhat easier time when they are small, but not as much benefit later (as they’ll not be in nursery at the same time, and maybe different schools, activities, etc).

    Cant fathom what people who have twins go through.

    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    How much of your income (as a percentage) goes to the child once they turn up?
    Hard to say really. Both Pen and Spikey are right in a way I think. Its not many specific costs (unless you live in the US and have to start saving for everything), as much as its a general change of your lifestyle.

    Swedish banks claim the cost of raising a child until 18 years id roughly in the region of £70-80k, I think. Make of that what you will. But it REALLY depends. One thing that does get a lot pricier for instance is travel, as you have to pay for 3 or 4 people instead if 2, and budget options for flying and living are usually out of question.

    And to some extent I suppose a lot of people move to bigger houses when they have their first or maybe their second kid, so that obviously plays a massive part as well.

  3. #5253
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Yeah, didn’t think about the living arrangements when I posted 😅

    Before we had our son we lived in a small flat and now our new house is almost three times bigger which has doubled our expenses. We would’ve bought a flat at some point anyway, but deciding to have a child definitely played a big part in what we went for.

  4. #5254
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dino View Post
    I was thinking last night while reading this thread that I still really have no interest in having a kid. Then last night I had a dream that I was pregnant, and my child came out in my poo and died.
    ...the fuck

  5. #5255
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Interesting about the costs. Sounds like you pay more for the comfort compared to actual maintenance of the child.

  6. #5256
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's more a change in lifestyle. I couldn't say how much I spend on my kids, all Bill's generally increase but also, disposable income is used for Peppa Pig world rather than the pub. I guess we spend the same amount of money, it's just not for us anymore.

  7. #5257
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I spend £200 a month on 'dancing', for starters.

  8. #5258
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I spend £200 a month on 'dancing', for starters.
    What the fuck?

  9. #5259
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Raves or like learning to dance?

    EDIT: I missed the kids bit.




    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 05-07-2019 at 07:54 PM.

  10. #5260
    I used to be funny.
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    Or just a building nearby you can leave the kid supervised whilst you sit at home for a couple of hours?

  11. #5261
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's more a change in lifestyle. I couldn't say how much I spend on my kids, all Bill's generally increase but also, disposable income is used for Peppa Pig world rather than the pub. I guess we spend the same amount of money, it's just not for us anymore.
    This basically

    Food, nappies etc are not a big expense. And because you're not having as much of a social life it balances out. Mines 2 and a half so we dont get any help yet on nursery costs. That's our biggest child expense. 70 quid a day to have him in nursery from 7.30am to 5.30pm. The mrs is part time so its only 2 days a week but mortgage aside its easily our biggest expense.

    Sleep and generally tiredness is a far bigger problem then money generally when it comes to young children

  12. #5262
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Kids' dancing classes.

    That's a bit of an overstatement, but it is how much I pay on a standing order just so I don't have to worry about getting horrendous bills three times a year.

    Don't have daughters.

  13. #5263
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Kids' dancing classes.

    That's a bit of an overstatement, but it is how much I pay on a standing order just so I don't have to worry about getting horrendous bills three times a year.

    Don't have daughters.
    We struck gold on this. My daughter goes to nursery on Tuesdays and Fridays and those just happen to be the days that Dancing and Swimming lessons take place. £50 a term on each. Absolute bargain.

  14. #5264
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neo_hippy View Post
    This basically

    Food, nappies etc are not a big expense. And because you're not having as much of a social life it balances out. Mines 2 and a half so we dont get any help yet on nursery costs. That's our biggest child expense. 70 quid a day to have him in nursery from 7.30am to 5.30pm. The mrs is part time so its only 2 days a week but mortgage aside its easily our biggest expense.

    Sleep and generally tiredness is a far bigger problem then money generally when it comes to young children
    Fuck me that’s steep for a nursery 😧 I think we’re in the highest bracket of fees (it caps really low meaning pretty much all two parent families are in there) and it works out under 300€ a month. Do you live in the States, or is that what people pay in the UK?

  15. #5265
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    Moving in with the significant other today/tomorrow. We both turned 30 this year, we've been together two years, and it's the first time either of us have lived with a partner. I am muchos excited.

  16. #5266
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pen View Post
    Fuck me that’s steep for a nursery �� I think we’re in the highest bracket of fees (it caps really low meaning pretty much all two parent families are in there) and it works out under 300€ a month. Do you live in the States, or is that what people pay in the UK?
    That's about what it costs. The benefits system is a bit of a joke in that if you are unemployed you are entitled to free child care from your kid turning 2, but if you are employed it's from when they turn 3. No idea why unemployed people need the child care or why they are being incentivised to not go into work, but here we are.

    If you do have to pay, it is very expensive. I worked full time compressed into 4 days for 2 years to avoid having to pay out on child care.

  17. #5267
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post

    Don't have daughters.
    Ive been told that daughters are much easier to deal with in the long run compared to boys. You don't really have to worry about your daughter growing up and becoming a bum.

  18. #5268
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Ive been told that daughters are much easier to deal with in the long run compared to boys. You don't really have to worry about your daughter growing up and becoming a bum.
    No, you have to worry about all the perverts and rapists instead. Plus their ability to get pregnant. Plus their interest in older - noncey - men.

  19. #5269
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Chances of that happening are slimmer than the chance of him doing jail time. She will be out of your house with her own family by 25. Some man is still 30 living with their at parents. Gift and a curse I guess.

  20. #5270
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Put the money into a care home fund and don't bother having them at all. There's a fair chance that's where they'll put you anyway once they've cleared you out.

  21. #5271
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SincereTheRebel View Post
    Chances of that happening are slimmer than the chance of him doing jail time. She will be out of your house with her own family by 25. Some man is still 30 living with their at parents. Gift and a curse I guess.
    He'll be payng rent then.

  22. #5272
    I used to be funny.
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    "You're not going out in those tyres."

  23. #5273
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child. It's a deal break for me now, if you want one, you're not getting with me. I lucked out with Banana but that brought different emotions as she wanted but couldn't even if I did.

    I think my own useless father and seeing all six of my brothers and sisters have kids put me off.

  24. #5274
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Im so greatful that I have a son/step son in my life. Not sure if we will have kids together but Im loving life as it is.

  25. #5275
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Im so greatful that I have a son/step son in my life. Not sure if we will have kids together but Im loving life as it is.
    Did that myself before but it wouldn't be for me. Maybe if the real father was dead or something but probably still not. Different strokes though I suppose.

  26. #5276
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Did that myself before but it wouldn't be for me. Maybe if the real father was dead or something but probably still not. Different strokes though I suppose.
    It still isnt easy at times Ill admit that but his dad is such an overwhelming fuck up that most of the time he refuses to see his father these days. I never speak poorly of him obviously because it isnt my place.

    Ill be encouraging him into therapy when he is a bit older (10 atm) because he will need help unpacking all of it.

  27. #5277
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I don’t have any regrets about not being a father. There is still always time of course, but my life is all about me. Its best if it stays that way.

    I enjoy spending time with some of my family and friends children but then i go my own way to a silent home. It seems really crazy raising children today. Google seems to get in the way and you cant really protect them from anything .

  28. #5278
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    There's all sorts of spyware for parents these days. You can see where they are and monitor what they're doing on their phone from yours.

  29. #5279
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My colleague was telling me that her son's school has accounts rather than dinner money, and then she can keep track of what he chooses to eat. Throw in the online homework diaries they can look at, and them knowing how to block all of the filth on the home internet, and you wonder who actually won the Cold War.

  30. #5280
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Jesus, are you guys actually talking up the concept of spying on your childrens’ internet activities?

  31. #5281
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Imagine the level of spying that Magic will engage in.

  32. #5282
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    My house is more successful than me. 6 weeks and 1 viewing.

  33. #5283
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    My house is more successful than me. 6 weeks and 1 viewing.

  34. #5284
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Single as fuck. Who’s coming off the rails with me

  35. #5285
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    What happened?

  36. #5286
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    She doesn’t think we want the same things etc. Mostly just the age gap, really.

  37. #5287
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    Sounds familiar

    What's the age gap? Tbf, she's a full on adult with a kid, and you're a partier. Enjoy it for what it was.

    Use it to find out what you actually want.

  38. #5288
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I still want her but it’s done with now. Kids will be gutted and putting them to bed tonight wasn’t fun. She’s mellowed me right down. Just hope I stick to it. Taken drugs once or twice in about four months instead of every weekend and no more chasing losing bets.

    Least I can go on holiday now.

    Edit: 22/30

  39. #5289
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    I still want her but it’s done with now. Kids will be gutted and putting them to bed tonight wasn’t fun. She’s mellowed me right down. Just hope I stick to it. Taken drugs once or twice in about four months instead of every weekend and no more chasing losing bets.

    Least I can go on holiday now.

    Edit: 22/30
    Add me on snap @mokbull. I'll cheer you right up

  40. #5290
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Waff and Magic do Magaluf.


  41. #5291
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    swear I had you on Snapchat before.

  42. #5292
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Waff and Magic do Magaluf.

    And Foe.

    How much have we got left in the board kitty?

  43. #5293
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    We could always run another donation drive.

  44. #5294
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Waff = Jay
    Magic = Simon
    Foe = Neil

    We need a Will. @John?

  45. #5295
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Clearly mike.
    I'm a twit

  46. #5296
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    He's not Scottish enough.

  47. #5297
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I've never watched a second of The Inbetweeners so I'm not sure how to take that.

    I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than spend ten seconds in Foe's company though so I'm out either way.

  48. #5298
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You'd be the clever one, but you'd also shit your pants, so win/win really.

  49. #5299
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    What's wrong with Foe?

  50. #5300
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Many, many things. But I love him anyway.

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