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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1901
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Banter.

  2. #1902
    I used to be funny.
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    Needs more hashtags, emojis and memes. And it has to be the only way Boydy and his coding mates ever communicate.

  3. #1903
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Handed in my notice at the beginning of last week. Last day is next Friday. One of the menopausal nutjobs cried when I said I was leaving. I'm in the awkward position of having a leaving do to appease other people now, but I'm probably just being a bit miserable again.

    But yeah, moving to London. More of the same with digital marketing, but more importantly, this job pays better and is going to be cushty as fuck working with one of my best mates from Jersey. Only a ten minute walk to work too.

  4. #1904
    I used to be funny.
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    Fair fucks. Just enjoy being the centre of attention for a day and whatever gap you have coming up.

  5. #1905
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I think a lot of them feel maternal towards me because I'm the youngest and the only male in the office. Plus, the company is very friendly on the whole and most people have been working there for ages, so whenever somebody leaves I guess its a bigger deal than other places.

  6. #1906
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Casual drinks incoming.

  7. #1907
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Informal lagers.
    I'm a twit

  8. #1908
    I used to be funny.
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    Business bitters. I mean, that should be an alternative thread title.

  9. #1909
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Working Whiskys with the lads.

  10. #1910
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    We're not a law office. We use slack to send memes and gifs to each other half the time.
    I can confirm, I've never sent anyone in my office an emoji let alone a meme...So I guess more justification to feel like my life / work is objectively above-average levels of emotionally exhausting

  11. #1911
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Informal lagers.
    Noted. Please pencil it into the diary.

  12. #1912
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    We use Teams and two other UNIFIED COMMS platforms because they form part of our portfolio. Pain in the arse

  13. #1913
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I’ve got a two day mental health first aid course next week.

    Got a work night out on Thursday too. I’ve been out with one of them before (tall guy I used to sit next to) and we got really drunk. About eight going this time, including said tall guy, and some women. Some of them can’t stop talking about it; I hope it’s not a rubbish night. One guys booked the Friday off; loser.

    Then in a few weeks we have an “away day” (wtf) that I had to fill in some lame online survey in advance for. Was groups of words like “kind & compassionate,” “fun-loving & popular,” “logical & steady,” etc and you had to say which words best described you, least described you, and then rank the other two sets. 25 times! Was torturous, anyway. All so I can get told what colour I am.
    I'm a twit

  14. #1914
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Mental health first aid. Fucking hell.

    I don't know whether that gets a or a

  15. #1915
    I used to be funny.
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    We've got something like that coming up. Given that I'm ringing up mentally ill people, I should participate.

  16. #1916
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Mental health first aid. Fucking hell.

    I don't know whether that gets a or a
    I haven’t a clue what it’s about. I think I’d rather be an accredited first aider, than whatever the hell a mental health first aider is.
    I'm a twit

  17. #1917
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    'Just tell them to cheer up'

  18. #1918
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Was listening to two little fat lads on the bus the other evening, sounded like they'd met on tinder or something, but they were rattling off their "mental health issues" to each other like each was a bigger badge of honour than the last one.

  19. #1919
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    What were you doing on a bus?
    I'm a twit

  20. #1920
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    What were you doing on a bus?
    Meeting his Tinder date to talk about his weight issues and lactose intolerance

  21. #1921
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    What were you doing on a bus?
    Concert and pints.

  22. #1922
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Was listening to two little fat lads on the bus the other evening, sounded like they'd met on tinder or something, but they were rattling off their "mental health issues" to each other like each was a bigger badge of honour than the last one.
    In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.

  23. #1923
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.
    It's that way all over. Easy way out of everything and all they do is belittle it for the people who actually have issues.

  24. #1924
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd love to find out the percentages on how many claims for anxiety and depression get booted.

  25. #1925
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.
    I like that this post exists on the same forum where a large minority of the active users post in something called 'The Depression Thread' regularly.

  26. #1926
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I like that this post exists on the same forum where a large minority of the active users post in something called 'The Depression Thread' regularly.
    I took great pains to say 'in my line of work'. It's a get out of jail free card. I doubt Mahow and the crew are out there assaulting people and refusing to pay their rent and Council Tax.

    I regularly have contact with people with genuine Mental Health issues, and by and large they are quite stoic about it and seem to want to resist the label.

    That's not to say people with A&D (the fashionable claim of late) don't get themselves into trouble by burying their heads in the sand, they absolutely do, but christ, there's alot of cunts using it as an excuse when there's fuck all wrong with them.

  27. #1927
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    Get it all the time in schools too. You haven’t got anxiety, you’re just a self-entitled little cunt.

  28. #1928
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    Kids haven't the first idea about growing up so it all scares them. That's not illness, that's just fear.

  29. #1929
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Before I left for my week break I fucked up, had a till difference (Ł60 short), and was a bit worried about the bollocking I'd get on my return. Luckily for me, my colleague told me yesterday that he managed to withdraw a grand from an account and gave it to someone who isn't named on said account. I think I owe him a pint for fucking up so badly that my indiscretion will be practically forgotten.

  30. #1930
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Our boss just came in and slated us for not having seen 'the game' last night (the others don't like football, and I was doing something else).

    'You all just live in your little cocoons, don't you? You can't share any experiences in this office.'

    Weirdo.

  31. #1931
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is your boss Martin Keown?

  32. #1932
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Watch out for him sticking a reducer on you.
    I'm a twit

  33. #1933
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    Anybody else get really riled by call centre staff that really, really can't talk to people like normal human beings? I'm in a training course with two of them tomorrow and they've each had two massive wobblers this week.

  34. #1934
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    Confirmed today that another person is leaving our department, meaning that out of 8 there will be 3 of us left going into next year. Possibly less as I’ve applied for another head of History role. Interestingly though, head of year will come up again as one of them is off, so if I don’t get head of history at another school I may go for that again in my current school (applied last year). Either way, hopefully I’ll be making a bit of a step up next year.

  35. #1935
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Now that I’m a certified First Aider [in Mental Health] the urge to get out of work and further develop myself is strong. Honest. There appears to be an opportunity to be trained to spot extremist propaganda, such as Generation Identity stickers and posters. Probably gonna enquire.
    I'm a twit

  36. #1936
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    2 hour drive home became 4 and a half today. Fucking idiots.

  37. #1937
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    Our Mental Health Awareness thing was canny. Fronted by a bi-polar mental health nurse because ... of course. Very animated but got her points across and there's more knowledge I can use when on the phone to make things a little smoother. And the suicide tip that I'll probably never use.

    She suggests if a claimant threatens suicide or harm, ask them their plans and either they calmly explain them (legit, keep them talking) or they just back down. My problem with that is the idea that a claimant will take that as, "They told me to kill myself." and launch a complaint.

  38. #1938
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    A recruiter contacted me today about a potential Korean adventure.

  39. #1939
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You can't say you weren't warned.

  40. #1940
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You can't say you weren't warned.
    Coders are generally treated like Koreans anyway so it's more pay and less need for social niceties. Perfection.

  41. #1941
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You can't say you weren't warned.
    Oh, I know. I doubt I'd get it anyway as it seemed to be yet another case of recruiters not knowing there's a difference between Java and JavaScript. But even if I did, I'm not sure I'd go for it. The location's terrible and the Glassdoor reviews seem to support everything you've said about Koreans.

  42. #1942
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Also, new project at work that I'm currently doing some training for before starting properly seems like it could be really good. But today, the other guy who's going on it (same level as me, started just slightly before me) got taken off it and replaced with that senior guy on my old team that I posted about being a dick a couple of pages ago.


  43. #1943
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I'm struggling today. I've been off since Friday and I've come in today to a brand new menu, most of it off my section and I gotta be honest, I haven't got a clue.

    I'm so far out my comfort zone it's horrible. Vegan Mezze....fuck off.

  44. #1944
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Ended up getting out of my leaving do by being off sick yesterday, although I genuinely was too ill to go in and felt a bit bad about it being cancelled.

    I now have a framed picture of my team, though, which is an absurd gift to give, but admittedly it's pretty funny given it's the last thing I would have asked for. Women are just mental.

  45. #1945
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    A framed photo That's hilarious.

  46. #1946
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It is well funny. It's eight people looking incredibly awkward then the organiser grinning like mad.

  47. #1947
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Isn't alcohol the standard leaving gift?

  48. #1948
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    As a classic 'fuck knows what to get them', yeah, but I got a Ticketmaster voucher as well the picture so they've done well.

  49. #1949
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I demand pic of the pic

  50. #1950
    I used to be funny.
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    I second that. In other news, had an absolute dog of a day. At least I came home to the news the students above the betting shop have flooded the place.

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