The All New, All Shit, Relationship Thread

[phonics]

words

1) Gay people just have a sense, gaydar is real. The amount of times I've been out with friends and the women get a little flirty after a couple of drinks and go on the prowl, our gay friend calls it every time they try to go for the attractive man at the bar and he's never wrong.

2) I think this is just someone very comfortable with her own sexuality and knowing the struggles, trying to be nice to you and when you responded in the way you did she let it be.

3) Was she definitely talking about you or to the other guy? I think that's just an innocent joke that you've taken personally due to your discomfort with everything so you're picking up things as microaggressions and thinking about them a lot. As you become more able to be with who you are rather than trying to distance yourself from everybody so they'll consider you what you think they think of as 'normal'. It'll get easier. Trust me.

4) Go out for a drink with her and talk about it with someone who knows. You can set down your red lines about keeping anything discussed out of office etc. It might be excruciating but it'll be really helpful imo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Points taken phonics (thanks), but re 3 it was definitely pointedly at me as the other guy prefaced it by telling her 'Jimmy say the phone guy isn't gay'. And I actually found what she said funny, but the discomfort overrides that.

And 4 is in my longer term plans, yes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd thought you were for at least a couple of years based off your posting. These things are probably more obvious than you imagine.

I was kind of trying to drop it in here for a little while, if you know what I mean. Half-heartedly.

Prior to the above I've been asked the question twice in my life. Both were in office kitchens by people I didn't know well, and both were a follow up question to 'Do you have a girlfriend?'. The first time I was 20 and barely even knew if I was, so I just said no. The second time, many years later, one of the Koreans dropped it and I pretty much knew by that stage (even if I wished it wasn't so), so I kind of gulped and said no.

Other than that, literally no one has ever mentioned it to me, including family and close friends, so I figured it just wasn't evident at all.

[phonics]

If it makes you feel better I actually thought you had a problem with someone upstairs before someone was more blunt.

[-james-]

My gaydar is faultless. Shame it's completely useless to me.

[Danny]

I was kind of trying to drop it in here for a little while, if you know what I mean. Half-heartedly.

Prior to the above I've been asked the question twice in my life. Both were in office kitchens by people I didn't know well, and both were a follow up question to 'Do you have a girlfriend?'. The first time I was 20 and barely even knew if I was, so I just said no. The second time, many years later, one of the Koreans dropped it and I pretty much knew by that stage (even if I wished it wasn't so), so I kind of gulped and said no.

Other than that, literally no one has ever mentioned it to me, including family and close friends, so I figured it just wasn't evident at all.

Feel free to tell me to fuck off but why is that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It just makes life a lot more complicated. That probably reads a bit wrong, I'm not slitting my wrists over it.

[Danny]

It did read a little that way

I cant even begin to imagine the complications it can create. Thankfully the world is moving on from its stone age views so the day you do tell should be better than its ever been.

[Shindig]

There's a couple of openly gay guys in our office (and a definitely closeted one). I've never been around to see any of them come out, though. I know one of them got outed by a loudmouth cunt and then just had to roll with it. On the flipside, one of the lesbians I know owns it completely. I guess it helps if you're fit.

[Baz]

Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.

Toggle Spoiler

[mo]

A few of us noticed that a mate of ours (8/9 years ago now) suddenly had all these Facebook friends we didn’t know and they were all a bit ‘fabulous’. We speculated behind his back, not wanting to seem confrontational towards him (asking someone if they’re gay just seems a tad impolite). Eventually he came out on my stag do. I still feel weirdly proud that it was then. He later said he’d been waiting for someone to just ask him. Funny that.

Then he moved to London so that he could be part of an actual gay scene and has never really looked back.

[Offshore Toon]

What are you up to Saturday April 20th?

I've got a mate down on either the Friday or Saturday, so any potential #meet rests on that. What you planning?

[Giggles]

Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.

Toggle Spoiler

Someone tore me a new one for using that in a WhatsApp group the other day. That said, I wasn't really thinking and wouldn't have if I had.

Edit - though the same lad left because someone said Man Utd were worse than Hitler, so...

[Offshore Toon]

It's still thrown around all the time in Jersey, which does make me a bit uncomfortable now. You still get some blatant racism too which is very awkward to deal with.

[Baz]

Someone tore me a new one for using that in a WhatsApp group the other day. That said, I wasn't really thinking and wouldn't have if I had.

Edit - though the same lad left because someone said Man Utd were worse than Hitler, so...

The last thing I sent in WhatsApp was a video of man having an electric drill down his japseye so what do I know.

[Giggles]

That'll get Magic back to the board.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.

Toggle Spoiler

No, but I can sympathise with those who do.

It does definitely make you feel a bit uncomfortable though when it happens in a real life social situation. But 'offended' isn't the term I'd use.

[Disco]

Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.

Toggle Spoiler

Not personally but it's not something that would pass without comment these days if I hear someone using it. I made a conscious effort post-school to stop using it but it's one of those words that (at least for me) was sort of separated from its original meaning by that stage, if a friend who I knew well were to use it I'd think it was out of habit before I thought they were being homophobic. Obviously that becomes more problematic if they're talking to someone they don't know so it's just fallen out of usage as we've all grown up, plus our circle of friends contains people who are gay themselves or have family members who are so it isn't the done thing these days.

[igor_balis]

I've got a mate down on either the Friday or Saturday, so any potential #meet rests on that. What you planning?

Probably not at all your kinda thing, but I've got 5 tickets to Spellbound at Komedia, and only two are claimed so far including my own. Are you familiar with the night? As no cunt seems to be interested you and your mate can probably have two even if you only stick around for an hour or so.

If not, at least come for a pint with us, yeah.

[igor_balis]

I sort of understand the way gay was an acceptable mild insult du jour in the mid 00s, but I think (and it's getting there already) in about twenty years people will look back and think what the fuck was that all about.

[Spikey M]

[igor_balis]

Actually, speaking of gayness, I've somehow managed to get embroiled in a weird 4 way love drama at work.

There's a big chain restaurant who come to our place for banking, and it's mostly either the super camp Polish manager or the late-20s slightly rough n ready Polish girl. Me and one of my colleagues have had some pretty tip top banter with them over the last few months, which culminated in the two of us taking the work night out there and us getting massively reduced cocktails.

Things started going a bit wrong when I made the error of adding camp manager on facebook. It was done innocently for the purpose of continuing inter-company bants, and once he accepted I found the girl and added her as well. I got a slightly dodgy feeling when within about 10 minutes the girl had found my colleague and added him as well. My colleague quite stupidly spent the whole night exchanging incredibly flirtatious sexual messages, before deciding the next morning that he wasn't into it. He's a 22 year old LAD, and she's a 28 year old single mum, and has even said shit like "i've had bad luck with guys before". Eek. In the meantime the guy has twice liked photos on my facebook profile from about 6 months ago at like 1am on a saturday night.

They both came in yesterday, the poor girl had made such an effort, clearly spent ages on her hair and makeup and shit. Both were blushing and giggling and talking in Polish while they were there. Things are gonna get super awkward when she realises my colleague doesn't want to shag her and when he realises I'm the most boringly vanilla straight man ever. Shame really, cus he's pretty handsome.

[Spikey M]

Let him have a rattle you prick tease.

[Giggles]

I didn't read it all but I bet it could have been twenty, less zany, words.

[igor_balis]

I didn't read it all but I bet it could have been twenty, less zany, words.

tldr version: camp manager of restaurant that banks with us thinks i want to shag him, and his single mother colleague thinks my colleague wants to shag her. neither are true, and i'm expecting some awkward fallout at some point.

[Giggles]

Just don't go out with them again and be an adult.

[igor_balis]

Just don't go out with them again and be an adult.

they're customers and generally at least one of them comes in to our place every day but they'll probably twig it eventually

[mugbull]

Igor we still goin to Glasgow August?

[Offshore Toon]

Probably not at all your kinda thing, but I've got 5 tickets to Spellbound at Komedia, and only two are claimed so far including my own. Are you familiar with the night? As no cunt seems to be interested you and your mate can probably have two even if you only stick around for an hour or so.

If not, at least come for a pint with us, yeah.

You're not gonna get me in an 80s night, but maybe the latter.

[phonics]

Not personally but it's not something that would pass without comment these days if I hear someone using it. I made a conscious effort post-school to stop using it but it's one of those words that (at least for me) was sort of separated from its original meaning by that stage, if a friend who I knew well were to use it I'd think it was out of habit before I thought they were being homophobic. Obviously that becomes more problematic if they're talking to someone they don't know so it's just fallen out of usage as we've all grown up, plus our circle of friends contains people who are gay themselves or have family members who are so it isn't the done thing these days.

I had a reflection recently when I heard someone say it but I don't think I've said 'retarded' in years and years. I never made a concious effort to stop doing it but somethings worked I guess?

[Yaysus]

Serious question, do you get offended by people using ‘gay’ so flippantly? Like the use of this gif, for example.

Toggle Spoiler

it's pretty cringy when it's used by overcompensating "manly" ""men"" tbh, makes me sad that they're trying to hide their sexuality like that
don't see an issue with gay or fag etc if it's used between friends when joking around imo

[Waffdon]

Igor we still goin to Glasgow August?

I’m gem.

[Mazuuurk]

Jimmy mate, you’ve been fawning over various African athletes for years on here. I think we all knew.

[Spikey M]

Mate, there's now 2 ISIS girls I'm fawning over, it doesn't mean I want to kill you all.

I mean, I do, but not for religious reasons.

[Foe]

Started dating a girl a couple of months ago who on paper is exactly what I'm looking for.

Athletic, clever and not a proper girly girl. Super hot too.

Christ she's hard work though. Quiet as fuck and seems to just jump to conclusions/judge me.

Currently trying to decide whether it's worth it or not, but the big downside being if I can't find a way to make it work with her I probably shouldn't even bother trying dating.

Are all women hard work? I've been single and independent for about ten years, maybe I'm just too used to my own space and time?

[igor_balis]

Went to my mates girlfriend's house party in London last night, mostly because mate and his gf had been trying to set me up with m8s gfs mate. I assumed five minutes of awkward chat but I actually managed to go back to hers and shag her. Laaaaads. Currently drinking whisky at mates house and discovering that female friends are just as graphic in their post match discussions as blokes, lol.

Pleased that my eating of her ass and putting my finger up her bum was well received. 'guys can be really boring so it was fun to sleep with a guy that gross'

Turns out she didn't tell my mates gf that she put my finger in her mouth afterwards tho. Hehe

[Pen]

Are all women hard work? I've been single and independent for about ten years, maybe I'm just too used to my own space and time?

Yes they are. Find the right one and the hassle is well worth it. From my limited experience anyway.

[Giggles]

Went to my mates girlfriend's house party in London last night, mostly because mate and his gf had been trying to set me up with m8s gfs mate. I assumed five minutes of awkward chat but I actually managed to go back to hers and shag her. Laaaaads. Currently drinking whisky at mates house and discovering that female friends are just as graphic in their post match discussions as blokes, lol.

Pleased that my eating of her ass and putting my finger up her bum was well received. 'guys can be really boring so it was fun to sleep with a guy that gross'

Turns out she didn't tell my mates gf that she put my finger in her mouth afterwards tho. Hehe

Surely that's the kind of thing you know is well received or not straight away.

[Giggles]

They're all hard work until the right one. That's why they're the right one.

[Bartholomert]

Started dating a girl a couple of months ago who on paper is exactly what I'm looking for.

Athletic, clever and not a proper girly girl. Super hot too.

Christ she's hard work though. Quiet as fuck and seems to just jump to conclusions/judge me.

Currently trying to decide whether it's worth it or not, but the big downside being if I can't find a way to make it work with her I probably shouldn't even bother trying dating.

Are all women hard work? I've been single and independent for about ten years, maybe I'm just too used to my own space and time?

The good ones are always hard work, and judgmental. A man is as degenerate or industrious as the women in their lives push them to be. Tough women who hold their men to higher standards are the best partners, and will push you to unlock your full potential as a person.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck off David Attenborough.

[Spikey M]

Oh my God.

I'm going to read all of his posts in Attenboroughs voice from now on.

[mugbull]

Second half of that diatribe was on point tbf

[Spikey M]

If you like patronising, 'women are here to serve us' attitudes, sure.

[igor_balis]

Surely that's the kind of thing you know is well received or not straight away.

I have done those kind of things to girls before and been told the next day they went along with it because they didn't want to seem frigid for not wanting my tongue in their colon but it's their loss quite frankly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Have you ever licked a piece of shit?

[Spikey M]

Nobody wants to lick you, you flirt.

[igor_balis]

Have you ever licked a piece of shit?

Never put a tongue in before a finger , only once touched poo

[Vercetti]

Outstanding.

[igor_balis]

I’m gem.

@mugbull it's Edinburgh lads. August 17th - 24th. Game?