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Thread: News of the day

  1. #4001
    I used to be funny.
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  2. #4002
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I always thought 'blacking up' included doing a voice and presenting yourself as some sort of racial stereotype. In which case that costume would be offensive, but me dressing up as Nelson Mandela because he is my favourite celebrity would not necessarily be. Then again, people get offended by haircuts these days, so why risk it.

  3. #4003
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-46548044

    A man has been rescued after spending two days trapped in a grease vent at a vacant Chinese restaurant in California, police say.



    That is grim as fuck.

  4. #4004
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    12 years in prison for damage to grease.

  5. #4005
    I used to be funny.
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    China's greatest export. I was going to bring up Michael Barrymore's blackface of John Barnes but I can't find the video.

  6. #4006
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    I'm never sure why they translate the time into GMT on that sort of story.

  7. #4007
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Style guide. Same as how they always have to turn currencies into sterling.

  8. #4008
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Style guide. Same as how they always have to turn currencies into sterling.
    I get the currencies though, to give the reader a better idea of the values involved. I just can't see how it's of any benefit to know what time it was here when a particular event was going on thousands of miles away.

  9. #4009
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    How else will people be able to answer the question "Where were you when the man was rescued from the grease vent"?

  10. #4010
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    California man.
    I'm a twit

  11. #4011
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  12. #4012
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If I ever see a lollipop lady again, I'm hitting her with the car.

  13. #4013
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    I get the currencies though, to give the reader a better idea of the values involved. I just can't see how it's of any benefit to know what time it was here when a particular event was going on thousands of miles away.
    In some stories it will be relevant or at least somehow of interest to convert the time that something happened back to our time (e.g. when an earthquake struck, or someone's death was reported, or what time a sports fixture starts) so it will be in the style guide that all times from other time zones have to be reported in the same way, even if it is a story about someone falling into a bin or whatever.

  14. #4014
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p06vhx0g

    Getting bullied? Write them a poem. Bullies love poems.

    Your face I'll punch,
    Your arse I'll kick,
    Give me your lunch,
    You ginger prick.

  15. #4015
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    https://www.rte.ie/news/2018/1216/10...common-attack/

    This one is going to grow and grow here and isn't done by a long way. What the state broadcaster is neglecting to say in the article is that the 'security' mentioned in the article were a group of loyalist paramilitaries hired by the bank. The group of locals should have put them on pikes as a warning.

    EDIT: That wiki edit

  16. #4016
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The article that wiki thing links through to (this one) really is something else.

  17. #4017
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    The article that wiki thing links through to (this one) really is something else.
    The lad that runs that website is a nutjob, though what he's lacking in writing talent he isn't lacking in facts.

  18. #4018
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Why do cyclists always win SPOTY? I've never met anyone that likes cycling but the moment you do something in the Tour de France you're a shoe in.

  19. #4019
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I see you lot did the token 'women in pointless sport' thing too this year with those netballers. Our women's hockey team won team of the year last night in our version of the awards, fucking jokeshop.

  20. #4020
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Why do cyclists always win SPOTY? I've never met anyone that likes cycling but the moment you do something in the Tour de France you're a shoe in.
    SPOTY is all about how mobilised your voter base is, and you know what cyclists are like. It's an absolute cult. Add in some Celtic fringe nationalism and Geraint was a shoo in.

    Motorbikes are similarly mental, there was an Ulster motorbiker who came second last year whom I still haven't heard of.

    Lewis Hamilton should have won it easily and indeed should have won it for the last few years. He's the leading British sportsperson by far.

  21. #4021
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I dunno. Geraint's a worthy winner (of a meaningless bauble). Maybe if Hamilton was the No.2 guy on his all-conquering team we could talk.

    There's also the fact that Hamilton's probably going to be back for more, but for Thomas that was probably a once in a lifetime shot.

    Cycling probably isn't any more fringe than F1 these days.

  22. #4022
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Sports personality of the year is a load of bollocks anyway. Who cares who wins?

  23. #4023
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I presumed he was a rugby player.

  24. #4024
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Sports personality of the year is a load of bollocks anyway. Who cares who wins?
    It's a competition on terrestrial telly, millions do.

  25. #4025
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    She's had loads of surgery. No Polish woman looks like that.

    They can have 'olive' skin (not as dark as hers) but the arse et al, nope.
    Polish people look like they've come through the randomiser on Zoombinis.

  26. #4026
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    The lad that runs that website is a nutjob, though what he's lacking in writing talent he isn't lacking in facts.
    Stuff like 'Irish patriots' and blithering on about disparaging jokes about the pope show just how significantly we fail to understand the backstop and all it's apparently insidious nuances. I know it's a daft question, but did The Enlightenment bypass Ireland?

  27. #4027
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Stuff like 'Irish patriots' and blithering on about disparaging jokes about the pope show just how significantly we fail to understand the backstop and all it's apparently insidious nuances. I know it's a daft question, but did The Enlightenment bypass Ireland?
    Is there really any point in having that conversation with someone who has themselves well outed as a knuckle dragging Brexit poster boy?

  28. #4028
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Woof.

  29. #4029
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Hey man, I'm not the one offering a (credible) return to violence as the outcome of a supranational political decision. I'm saying the average British Joe Public really doesn't understand the ostensible reality that paramilitary gangs are still so prevalent and powerful on the island of Ireland, which means we don't see why THE BORDER is such a massive deal. I also don't understand how that is allowed to be the case, but hey-ho.

    And my interest in Brexit is mostly from the perspective of watching Rome burn, seeing as I'm entirely outwith it and didn't even vote.

    Maybe the Republic of Ireland and/or the EU/Holy Roman Empire should be more honest about their actual position on the issue of the Irish border. It isn't that there shouldn't be a hard one, it's that there shouldn't be one at all. Trichet was treading that line (unwittingly the massive dolt) on Newsnight the other night.

    Edit, whilst I must admit it is fun to prod you with disparaging comments about the Irish, I do try to resist calling you a bog-brained Murphy, so maybe you could return the favour.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 17-12-2018 at 10:08 AM.

  30. #4030
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The problem in the relations between England and its Celtic neighbours is that the neighbours in question never realise just how little England knows or cares about them. They tend to interpret this as arrogance, when in fact it is massive apathy. The same as any big to small neighbour relations the world over.

    All the historical brutality/oppression by us has always stemmed from that same apathy. We don't hate you, we just neglect to remember that you exist until you shout loud enough for us to send over a crack squad with guns and that.

  31. #4031
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Hey man, I'm not the one offering a (credible) return to violence as the outcome of a supranational political decision. I'm saying the average British Joe Public really doesn't understand the ostensible reality that paramilitary gangs are still so prevalent and powerful on the island of Ireland, which means we don't see why THE BORDER is such a massive deal. I also don't understand how that is allowed to be the case, but hey-ho.

    And my interest in Brexit is mostly from the perspective of watching Rome burn, seeing as I'm entirely outwith it and didn't even vote.

    Maybe the Republic of Ireland and/or the EU/Holy Roman Empire should be more honest about their actual position on the issue of the Irish border. It isn't that there shouldn't be a hard one, it's that there shouldn't be one at all. Trichet was treading that line (unwittingly the massive dolt) on Newsnight the other night.

    Edit, whilst I must admit it is fun to prod you with disparaging comments about the Irish, I do try to resist calling you a bog-brained Murphy, so maybe you could return the favour.
    Firstly, the story I posted has zero to do with Brexit or backstops or anything like that. It was about a monumental fuck up by a bank in hiring a group of vigilante loyalist terrorists to come into this state to put people out of their homes. No matter how right the repossession was, your black and tans forcing people from their homes here is still a little too fresh in history to think it was going to pass off without any bother. I've already explained to you about the nutter that owns Liberial.ie from the story you found on Wikipedia, old Leo has form and has been in court so may times that he could take up residence in one of them.

    On Northern Ireland, I'll let you in on a little secret about it. History dictates that we need to be seen to want it and that you need to be seen to want to keep it, but in reality if it disappeared into the sea then both states would be over the moon. It's a political basket case, devoid of any skilled work force of any numbers or industry (public service is all they can manage), and is like stepping into the 1970's in comparison to Ireland and mainland Britain. The reality is that we never want either the debt it would bring or having to completely re-write our own state in an futile attempt to appease thousands of angry orangemen. Personally, the bigger and higher the border the better, if that's what becomes of you lot wanting to get some brown people off your island (who are most likely only there because you pillaged their homelands at some stage too) then it's an added bonus.

    "Holy roman empire"? Are you just a charicature of Paisley now? Might as well go full whack I suppose. Also, it's 'Ireland'.

  32. #4032
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The thing is, none of the general public give a fuck about a hard border between the North and the South. They'd be quite happy to keep the border open if it weren't for those cheeky Romanians they imagine using it as a back door.

    If May could get a "RoI citizens can come and go as they please" clause agreed, the deal would probably be accepted by parliament. It'll never happen, mind.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 17-12-2018 at 07:25 PM.

  33. #4033
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The thing is, none of the general public give a fuck about a hard border between the North and the South. They'd be quite happy to keep the border open if it weren't for those cheeky Romanians they imagine using it as a back door.

    If May could get a "RoI citizens can come and go as they please" clause agreed, the deal would probably be accepted by parliament. It'll never happen, mind.
    Her government are propped up by a cult that would want us as the last people to be able to travel freely, so it wouldn't stand a chance.

  34. #4034
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You imagine that, but 'immigration' as a political issue is mainly about a) language and subservient to that, b) race. The Irish may indulge in the odd spot of bombing and other japes but they tick both those boxes so they'll be waved through like the Aussies, Kiwis and Dutchies.

  35. #4035
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Most of the IRA who bombed your country weren't from Ireland. Very few actually were.

    Though as rational as you're being, as you can be at least, on the subject, you really have no idea what absolute headcases the DUP and loyalists in general in NI are. Nobody is accaptable and we're top of the pops.

  36. #4036
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We have had a Common Travel Area for almost a century, and nothing in the Good Friday Agreement says we cannot have normal border checks. The European Union and its supporters have just pretended otherwise to keep us tied into their bullshit, idiots have conflated normal border procedures with British Army roadblocks, and even bigger idiots have bought into both.

  37. #4037
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    They're the Young Earth anti-abortionists that haven't had a sitting parliament in about 4 years. They're pretty mental alright.

  38. #4038
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Seeing as those mongs haven't been able to form a government between them for two years, could they not rip up the Good Friday Agreement at this stage anyway? Surely there's a case for voiding it when neither party can be arsed making any use of it.

  39. #4039
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Hey, we're pretty decent at IT these days.

  40. #4040
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I'm a twit

  41. #4041
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It's fine, it's only Yorkshire tea which is shite to begin with.

  42. #4042
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    You dont realiase how good PG Tips are until you try other tea. Yorkshire and Typhoo are terrible.

  43. #4043
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I can't really pick the difference between any of the major tea brands, or most own brand efforts.

    It's only when you have tea on foreign shores that you really appreciate how badly wrong a tea bag can go. I appreciate there are some exemptions to this rule.

  44. #4044
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Tea is muck anyway.

  45. #4045
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Dementia reversed in Australian mice. This could be pretty mega.
    I'm a twit

  46. #4046
    I used to be funny.
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    Excellent. I'd rather die of cancer.

  47. #4047
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-46622772

    Statement, a women-only festival in Sweden, has been found guilty of discrimination by Sweden's Discrimination Ombudsman (DO).

    The DO said that describing an event as "male-free" breached the country's anti-discrimination laws.

    The publicity issued in the run up to the event "discouraged a certain group from attending", the regulator added.

    lol.

  48. #4048
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Gatwick being shutdown because of this drone stuff is ridiculous. You can't get a drone near the airport here because they have a radar that emits a signal blocker so they just fall out of the sky if they get anywhere near. How has the second biggest airport in the country not got something similar?

  49. #4049
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    I hope whoever's responsible gets shot.

  50. #4050
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    It is insane, I am amazed it has been able to go on for so long.

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