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Thread: The Masters

  1. #501
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I didn't realise quite what a horlicks Furyk made of his picks for the team. Was Finau the only one to pick up a point? Pretty much the difference between the sides.

  2. #502
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Schauffele and Kisner in particular (maybe even Kuchar too) would have been perfect for this course. I kind of sympathise with Jim though, given how sport works in America you'd need proper balls of steel not to pick Phil and Tiger.

    America should win every Ryder Cup easily. They always have the best team on paper, and their whole golf setup just outguns Europe's easily. All that money they play for, all the facilities, the collegiate system producing players. And yet they've lost 9 of the last 11.

  3. #503
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The Rahm/Tiger match summed it up. One of them off his head on mental juice, the other quite ostensibly does not care one jot and doesn't want to be there.
    Mental juice?

  4. #504
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You know. Crazy potion. Passion punch. Or as Radar rather sublimely put it the other day, 'electric lemonade'.

  5. #505
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I don't know if you mean steroids, alcohol, drugs or something else entirely.

  6. #506
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    He means PASSION!

    Heart, desire, etc.

  7. #507
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Although, that said, Rahm does look like he's had some sort of hormone imbalance growing up. His limbs don't match up with his body. The body is too big. He looks like he should be playing rugby, not golf.

  8. #508
    I used to be funny.
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    I want a universe where the golfers do all the cyclist drugs.

  9. #509
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Although, that said, Rahm does look like he's had some sort of hormone imbalance growing up. His limbs don't match up with his body. The body is too big. He looks like he should be playing rugby, not golf.
    I thought that too. Least Spanish looking and sounding person ever.

  10. #510
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  11. #511
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    I thought that too. Least Spanish looking and sounding person ever.
    I always thought he was a yank.

  12. #512
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There's been a low rumbling all week that Spieth had refused to play with Reed. For once I'm on Reed's side. Why break up a successful pairing because Reed doesn't fit into the spring break frat boy wanker clique?

    Reed is one of the biggest cunts in sport but you have to be professional.

  13. #513
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That's why they lose more often than not. Most pro golfers are going to be absolute wankers by default, but they're trying to make a team out of next level wankers.

  14. #514
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I thought his shushing at the end of his match yesterday was a good touch.

    That said, I'm not sure you could really have sent him out in foursomes with the way he was driving the ball. Reed's problem was that, with other pairings seemingly working (to an extent) he was left with a pretty poor crop of potential partners in Woods, Mickelson and DeChambeau. The Frat Wankers were their best pair, Johnson and Fowler seemed a decent pair and the sort who would get along, I don't really know too much about the god squad. Maybe you could have broken up Koepka and Finau (perhaps those two were too laid back and a bit of Reed's fire would have stoked them into action sooner). Obviously, in hindsight, the tactic should have been to sit most of the captain's picks until the singles, but no one is ever going to do that, even before you get to 'who' they were.

    I assume Tom Watson has too much class to properly coat Mickelson off after his shambolic performance.

    Sending him out in the foursomes was the major error, and you could see it from the very off (lucky not to put his opening tee shot into the water). Getting rolled in that afternoon session was fatal.

    Bjorn, on the other hand, was superb. Not afraid to mix pairings up, but balanced with sticking to tried and trusted (Rose/Stenson) and what seemed to be working (Fleetwood/Molinari) as well.

  15. #515
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I suspect there's more to the Spieth/Reed stuff than meets the eye.

    Bjorn was immense. Got everything spot on. Can't wait for Westy to lead us to a shoeing on runways at Whistling Straits.

  16. #516
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The captaincy should be a two-term thing. Always seems unfair for the poor sods who get the away gig.

  17. #517
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Only seen about this Mickelson & Woods thing today. How did that come about (apart from $$$)?

  18. #518
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think because Mickelson has lost the plot completely, but that still doesn't explain why Tiger Woods would lower himself to such a thing.

  19. #519
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    In 20 years time it'll be one of those things you see on Sky (as if either it or the world won't have blown up by then) and wonder what on earth was going on. I'm sure there are ones of Fred Couples and partner pootling around some parkland shitshow with appropriate sponsorship. It's annoying me that I can't recall the actual title/branding.

    It'll be interesting to see if anyone actually pays to watch it. I can't imagine. I mean, why? You'd get a bigger audience if they were going to fight or something.
    Last edited by niko_cee; 26-10-2018 at 08:04 PM.

  20. #520
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There were the old Shell World of Golf things which were usually something bizarre like Hal Sutton v Colin Montgomerie in Ohio. In fact, I distinctly remember one in which a youngish Mickelson took on a foetus-like Garcia somewhere in Mexico, with all the necessary cacti and sombreros.

    I wouldn't pay to watch it because Phil is a joke, but the format isn't a terrible one. You just need two real superstars to pull it off. McIlroy and somebody. Dunno.

  21. #521
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shell%..._World_of_Golf

    There's the full list. Some real oddities in there and a nice selection of liberal tax regimes as well.

  22. #522
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That's the one. Good to see Fred pretty much book-ending the modern incarnation.

    Notah Begay III v Hal Sutton in Jamaica. Yes!

  23. #523
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    That's the one. Good to see Fred pretty much book-ending the modern incarnation.

    Notah Begay III v Hal Sutton in Jamaica. Yes!
    Gary Player pretty much bookends the whole thing, which seems mad.

  24. #524
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Gary Player is absurd. He'll still be playing to a decent standard when he's 120. He played the Masters for 53 years (his first one featured Butch Harmon's dad, and his last one featured Rory McIlroy), and made Masters cuts 41 years apart.

    I know golf favours old men, but the football equivalent would be someone playing with/against both Puskas and Messi.

  25. #525
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    He was inducted into the hall of fame fifteen years before Rory McIlroy was born.

    This is like that thing about John Tyler having living grandchildren, despite having been born in 1790.

  26. #526
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I just went into my betting account for the first time in a few weeks and wondered why the hell I had a random £120 sitting in there. Looked in my bet history and found this:



    Absolutely no memory of placing that

  27. #527
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    For the sheer amount of tears and outcry alone I'm loving this Woods - Mickelson match more and more.

  28. #528
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  29. #529
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's one of the most embarrassing things you could possibly dream up. Mickelson being shameless isn't exactly new, but why Tiger Woods of all people feels he needs to stoop to it is anyone's guess. Look at the sadness in the big cat's eyes behind that pile of dosh.

  30. #530
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    'Vulgar contrivance' just about sums up Las Vegas.

  31. #531
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    This event is almost made for setting up a dodgy streaming site. Imagine the amount of old men trying to get a stream working for the first time ever clicking on all those ads.

  32. #532
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Sky are on it.

  33. #533
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I think the optimal outcome is if Tiger's back gives way on the third hole and he has to limp off.

  34. #534
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's on. They have the world's largest drone, and loads of blonde women with facelifts. This is the sort of thing that could turn me communist.

    Tiger Woods looks like he is dying inside.

  35. #535
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    This is

  36. #536
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Imagine paying to hear two middle aged men wheezing their way around a park occasionally playing golf.

  37. #537
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Didn't realise Sky had this. Dear god.

    Tiger needs to up the needle on the side bets. "A hundred" says you miss this fairway etc.

    He does look a bit like this is eating his soul. Mickelson on the other hand . . .

  38. #538
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    The continuous noise of the drone is amazing.

  39. #539
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I've given up now, but who were all the hangers-on? I thought it was tv only.

    I know it seems obvious in hindsight, but American Bantz put even Tim Lovejoy to shame.

  40. #540
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It really is septic, this, in every sense. As well as being shit, it's also very boring, and I find golf inherently exciting.

  41. #541
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I really despise Mickleson so I hope he loses.

    $9m pot yet they can't afford some buggies.

  42. #542
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I see they're back to all square. Is there any chance this won't be contrived to go the distance?

  43. #543
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't know, my soul disappeared into the TV about three hours ago and is currently being harvested by the punditry lineup of Pat Perez and Samuel L. Jackson.

    It's like watching yourself die in slow motion.

  44. #544
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I haven't watched much but from what I have seen, the putting has been fucking woeful.

  45. #545
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We're now onto the 21st hole and they're playing a 90 yard pitch and putt under floodlights at 4.30pm (Las Vegas even does fake sunlight). Just need windmills and pirate ships and then the angel of death will visit for us all.

  46. #546
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Knew Mickleson would miss that, especially when the commentators were talking about how he LOVES THESE MOMENTS.

  47. #547
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He'll miss it here too.

    And we'll have another hole and this nightmare will never end.

  48. #548
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I hate this.

  49. #549
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  50. #550
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